Answering the Why of Marriage


We had dinner with friends last night and the conversation landed on what we hope to do in the remaining years of our lives. It seems we spend most of our time dreaming and working towards the last years of life and when they arrive you can feel lost, bewildered even, not sure if now is the time to actually do what we’ve dreamed about.

Our friend said he was looking forward to going back to school and learning more. He said he wanted to take that knowledge and teach young men what he learns on top of the experience he has gained over decades. 

Then came the clincher…

Tom asked what his first class would be, and he said to answer this question, “Why are you here?” Because when life gets hard and doesn’t go according to your plan, knowing the why will keep you going and not quitting.

Sage advice!

So this begs the question: Why are you here–in this marriage, on this blog, looking for answers to your current struggle?

I can’t answer this for you. But I can share our why with you and maybe, just maybe, it will help you discover yours.

When we first got married, our passion and hope was to help other marriages grow strong and last for a lifetime.  Passions are usually born through suffering, and this passion for Tom was a result of his parents divorcing when he was 18. He decided when he got married that he would do all he could to keep our marriage alive regardless of the difficulties we would face. And his passion led to our Why.

  • We don’t do this for our own comfort, although a lasting marriage can become quite comfortable.
  • We don’t do this for others, although others benefit from our faithfulness to our marriage.
  • We don’t do this just to keep our vows, although our vows help us remember what we promised at the beginning.

We do this for God’s glory.

God created marriage. He made it a covenant where two become one flesh. He made it to be a reflection of His great and lasting love for His bride–the Church! This is our Why and it is so much bigger than the day to day struggles we face. It keeps us focused on a conviction when our emotions and circumstances may make our relationship feel numb and cold. 

So what is your WHY? Answer this and you may discover a secret to a marriage that not only survives, but thrives!

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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