The title of this post is a famous line from a Disney movie, Cinderella. But it begs the question, what do you dream of? This is the kind of question that makes for a great date.
I’ll never forget sitting with Tom around a fire pit one night when the topic of dreams came up. Tom had to pause because he wasn’t sure what he dreamed of doing. He had seen many of his earlier dreams come true, and hadn’t given much thought to making new ones. We talked a bit more and then it felt as if the sky opened up with possibilities. We talked about everything we could imagine. It was one of those nights when we connected on a deeper level and we’ll never forget it.
Dr. Julie Conner has written an excellent post titled, 7 Reasons Why It’s Crucial To Have A Dream. She says,
“Passion fuels dreams. Commitment fuels action. Get clear about what you want to do and why you want to do it. Allow time to regularly reevaluate and refine your goals. Make adjustments within your schedule to engage in goal-related activities. And, most importantly, commit to the work of pursuing your dream. Take action.”
What if we were to apply her steps to creating the marriage of our dreams?
Passion fuels dreams.
Have you lost the passion to grow your marriage that you had at first? Maybe you’ve never thought about growing your marriage once you made the commitment on your wedding day. It is crucial to a healthy marriage to continue to be passionate about it.
Commitment fuels action.
Being committed to make your marriage the best it can be is essential for a healthy marriage. If one spouse is committed and the other is not your marriage will not become all God intended it to be. Make a decision each day as if it were your wedding day. Decide that you want to do your part to be the best spouse you can be so that if your husband/wife had to choose again whom they would marry, it would still be you.
Get Clear on the What’s and Why’s of a Good Marriage
We have spent out lives helping couples realize the what’s and why’s of pursuing a strong marriage that lasts. Our blog is full of posts to inspire and help you develop the areas where you are weak into strength worth emulating.
Regularly Reevaluate and Refine your Goals
This is the one that requires the most crucial aspect of a healthy marriage–communication. Your intentions may be good, but if you fail in communicating it to the point of understanding then you may still miss the mark. If you aren’t good at communicating in a positive way we encourage you to seek help either through books, or through a pastor or friend who excels in this area.
Make Adjustments in your Schedule to Meet Your Goals
Our pastor often said you can tell what your priorities in life are by looking at two things: your calendar and your checkbook. So true! We make time for the things that are important to us. And the Bible says, “Where your treasure is, your heart will follow” Invest time and money in making your goals for a healthy marriage a reality.
Commit to the Work Necessary
This one may seem a given, but commitment in this day in age is waning. It seems no one wants to commit to anything that lasts longer than a minute.
- You see it in how young people are choosing to wait to get married
- You see it in couples waiting longer to have children,
- A hesitancy to join church small groups or church membership,
- A lack of job loyalty,
- A hesitance to respond to a party or event.
Be faithful to do the things you say you’ll do. “A heart deferred makes the heart sick…” the Bible declares. Don’t make your spouse’s heart sick! Be a doer of all the things you say you’ll do. Even the little things matter because they speak volumes to your spouse of your love, care and commitment.
What is your spouse dreaming will come true? Maybe it’s that your marriage will be all God intended it to be.
Josh Wilson has a new song out titled, Dream Small. Take some time to listen to it and see if it doesn’t inspire you to continue dreaming together about what could be.
(Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/@wbayreuther)
My dreams for my marriage are perhaps a bit different…I nearly died last night (again!), and while I’ve been fighting pancreatic cancer for a good long while, longer than my doctor ever thought I’d last, it can’t go on forever.
So my dream is that my wife will be able to move onward with a minimum of upheaval, that she’ll already have a support system of friends in place to help her, and that she’ll look forward to remarrying, because she’s not the sort to be alone.
To that end I’ve encouraged her to make connexions in the community, and to take part in social events. It does mean more time alone for me, but I’m pretty self-sufficient, and it’s in a good cause.
People die; it kinda sucks, but life goes on, and we’ll all meet up again, just over that next hill that’s already outlined by the Sonrise.
Andrew, You bring up a good point, as always. Thank you for reminding us of the brevity of life.