Has someone who was supposed to do something for you or a loved one ever let you down? Did the situation not resolve with the ending you wanted? I’m certain we have all experienced such disappointments in life and in marriage. Sometimes we can work it through and sometimes we are left to pick up the broken pieces of our shattered hopes.
We just experienced a situation where Tom was sharing with me about something weighing heavy on him. He was wondering what to do. Since I had experienced a similar situation, rather than listen and care, I reacted. I became insistent that he do everything to prevent the devastating outcome I had experienced. My voice got louder and I talked faster. Tom got quiet.
The Lord convicted me in that moment.
I apologized to Tom. I realized my disappointment about the outcome of my situation was producing fear in my heart regarding his situation.
I wasn’t helping Tom. I was actually being more of a burden than a help to him.
Why do we do this? When we hear of a struggle, something similar to a situation we have experienced, we apply the same outcome. We advise as if we are experts and our thoughts on how to fix it must be followed.
Although it doesn’t sound like it, I had a real breakthrough.
God showed me I wasn’t listening to Tom to help him. I was wanting to control the results to avoid heartbreak.
There is always the danger of inserting our experience to another’s situation. This is usually not helpful. I have been on the receiving end of this and it is painful. It shuts me down every time! And I just did that to the one I love most.
It is best to listen and help our spouse come to the right path God has marked out for them. This is the Holy Spirit’s work. He is their Guide, their Comforter and an ever present help in their time of need. When I insert my thoughts and opinions I am taking on the role that belongs to God alone. It is not helpful!
I am grateful for a husband who doesn’t react to my reactions. He is patient and long suffering; reminds me of how Jesus treats me. What a gift this man is in my life.
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Welcome to our new followers. We know there is much available to read to help your marriage grow. The fact that you’ve chosen to come alongside us on our journey is humbling. We pray God will use our experiences to help and encourage you where needed.
Blessings,
Tom and Debi ❤️❤️
The Romantic Vineyard 
Hi Debi!I am a follower of your blog for a long time. My sister, who is a widow, and I are traveling to Titusville next month for pleasure and sightseeing. Do you have any recommendations in that area besides the space Kennedy center? Sorry this isn’t marriage related. Just wanted a likeminded person’s opinion. Thanks, Cherry
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Yes. We love Dixie Crossroads Seafood Restaurant.
https://dixiecrossroads.com
Also, you can drive south to Cocoa Beach where the original Ron Jon’s surf Shop is located. Lots of great souvenirs and has become a favorite tourist spot.
We love to go to Port Canaveral for lunch or dinner on the weekends to watch the cruise ships come and go. A favorite there is Grills.
https://www.grillsseafood.com
Also I’ve heard great things about this wildlife refuge.
https://www.fws.gov/refuge/merritt-island/visit-us
I hope this helps! Have a great time.
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Thanks for your reply. We’ll check these places out! God’s blessings to your lovely family!
Yahoo Mail: Search, Organize, Conquer
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You’re so welcome. I hope there’s a launch while you’re here.
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Well written Debi! Is so easy to do this and like you said, it’s not helpfulIsn’t God good to open our eyes?Sent from my iPhone
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Thank you, Danny. God is always good and able to do what we can’t, even though I try sometimes, {{sigh}}. His mercies are new every morning.
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Thanks for your transparency and willingness to learn, Debi, and your steady patience, Tom. You’re both an example to many!
I’m sure many will benefit from your story and realization here. It’s encouraging to know that you’re still learning and willing to share along the way. Repentance and Faith are not just for the first baby steps of our Christian faith, are they?
Keep on keeping on!!
— Markus
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Markus,
Well said—repentance and faith are the shoes we wear until our last breath. They are our giant leaps!
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