Even someone without much musical knowledge can hear when someone is singing off key. It’s like scratching your fingernails down a chalkboard – all you want to do is scream, “STOP!” How often it can be this way in our marriages. There are times when no matter what is said, it is misunderstood or taken far too literally, and to continue talking only adds to the tension. How can harmony be achieved when such discord abounds?
The best action is to stop communicating on a casual level and purpose to set aside time for meaningful, focused conversation.
Oftentimes what’s bothering me when I’m struggling like this has nothing to do with Tom. If he takes the time to ask me what’s on my mind or what’s troubling me, I can usually open up and discover what’s really taking place in my heart; it could be any number of things that have nothing to do with him. There have been times when we didn’t purpose to “talk it out”, and ended up missing an opportunity to grow in our communication skills and the discord continued far longer than it needed to.
When instruments are trying to play together in harmony and one is off key, what happens? The entire orchestra stops and tunes itself to the first violinist. We must do this as well. God desires for us to pursue “peace with all men”, which includes our spouse. We are never at liberty to let our feelings lash out at our spouse in anger. God is always providing the right key with which to align our hearts – it’s His Word. He’s promised that within its pages we can find everything we need for life, health and godliness. Now that’s sure to produce beautiful harmony in any relationship – especially between husband and wife.
NOTE: If you live in or near the Orlando area – this coming weekend Metro Life Church is hosting a regional marriage retreat titled, Marriage and the Mercy of God. It will take place Friday evening and Saturday in Metro’s auditorium. Won’t you consider joining us? It’s sure to be a marriage-changing time!