Project 52 – Pregnant Silence

Sitting in our favorite restaurant, we order our usual.  Life has been different, challenging and unpredictable.  But we are still US.  We talk about our day.  We talk about our calendars.  And then the conversation turns to what matters most.

I ask a question.  “What one thing would you like me to work on in our life, home, or marriage?”

I assure him I will not react to whatever he says.  I seriously want to hear what he would say.

He hesitates because there is more than one.

I tell him to pick the top three.

Finally, he begins to share.  He looks at me not wanting to make me feel bad.  He assures me I’m the best thing God has ever given him.  I believe him.  Yet, there is truth to what he shares.  He doesn’t badger me into doing what he wants.  I was the one asking the question.  It was hard for him to answer.  And this is one of the many things I love about Tom.  He honestly looks after my good, not his own.  I don’t deserve such a husband, yet God has blessed me in ways I never realized I needed.

Until now.

After listening to his thoughts bookended with tears, I simply want to please him.  I want to do whatever I can to meet his requests.  I know I can do it.  For what he desires is very much within my ability.  Yet so often life sweeps me away, and I forget what matters most.

This wasn’t a date night most people would sign up for.  It wasn’t filled with warm fuzzies, but it was romantic.  Romancing our spouse includes listening to things I wouldn’t normally want to hear.  Romance is connecting with your spouse in a way that touches the soul.  We opened our hearts and bared our souls.  And deep within we knew we would make it through this season.

Driving home there was pregnant silence.  The kind where you both know there is more to be said, but decided to wait until we can allow what was shared to germinate.  This process will inevitably lead to new life in our relationship, because we’ve seen it happen again and again.  Something good to remember when we’re caught in the middle of the silence – waiting for things to get better.

In what ways are you experiencing pregnant silence?


Want to join Project 52: Date Night? Great! Start anytime. Go here for details about the project and print the pledge.

When you link up, please remember…

  • Keep it clean and family friendly. This is a family friendly site. Anything inappropriate will be deleted.
  • It needs to be a date. Not your latest projects or pictures of your beautiful children. I do love reading about your projects and learning about your family. But this linky is for date nights and date nights only. It is for us to exchange date night ideas.
  • Link to a specific blog post about your date that week. Don’t just link to your site’s home page. It needs to be the direct link to the post. Anything not directly linked to the post will be deleted.
  • Link back to Simply Modern Mom or put the Project 52: Date Nights button on your site. It’s common courtesy. Please be nice.

Project 52 Date Nights


About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Date Night Ideas, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Romance in Marriage. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Project 52 – Pregnant Silence

  1. Sharon O says:

    wow. I love the picture first of all then the writing so vulnerable and open. Thank you for the encourgement to ask the difficult questions and to listen to the answers with an open heart. So much to work on… in relationships that matter.


  2. cheree says:

    Thank you for sharing this intimate date. When you are young, you think that something is wrong with you or your relationship when things don’t seem to be “perfect” all of the time. As you grow older, you realize that you are both growing and changing and that you don’t always meet each others needs. Without discussing the hard things in life {in a safe way}, the relationship will cease to grow. I hope this lesson is one that my husband and I will continue to work on for the rest of our lives.


  3. Maybe not the most fun date but sounds like a worthwhile date.


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  5. Erika says:

    It may not be a date that people sign up for, but it sounds like it was an important one.
    One that will help you grow together instead of apart. Good for you not only for asking but for being willing to hear & receive the answer.
    Thank you for sharing, very important lesson here.


  6. Christy says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to do something like that but it’s always worthwhile in the end. I think that dating as a married couple is more about strengthening your relationship and in turn your marriage.


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