Sitting in our favorite restaurant, we order our usual. Life has been different, challenging and unpredictable. But we are still US. We talk about our day. We talk about our calendars. And then the conversation turns to what matters most.
I ask a question. “What one thing would you like me to work on in our life, home, or marriage?”
I assure him I will not react to whatever he says. I seriously want to hear what he would say.
He hesitates because there is more than one.
I tell him to pick the top three.
Finally, he begins to share. He looks at me not wanting to make me feel bad. He assures me I’m the best thing God has ever given him. I believe him. Yet, there is truth to what he shares. He doesn’t badger me into doing what he wants. I was the one asking the question. It was hard for him to answer. And this is one of the many things I love about Tom. He honestly looks after my good, not his own. I don’t deserve such a husband, yet God has blessed me in ways I never realized I needed.
After listening to his thoughts bookended with tears, I simply want to please him. I want to do whatever I can to meet his requests. I know I can do it. For what he desires is very much within my ability. Yet so often life sweeps me away, and I forget what matters most.
This wasn’t a date night most people would sign up for. It wasn’t filled with warm fuzzies, but it was romantic. Romancing our spouse includes listening to things I wouldn’t normally want to hear. Romance is connecting with your spouse in a way that touches the soul. We opened our hearts and bared our souls. And deep within we knew we would make it through this season.
Driving home there was pregnant silence. The kind where you both know there is more to be said, but decided to wait until we can allow what was shared to germinate. This process will inevitably lead to new life in our relationship, because we’ve seen it happen again and again. Something good to remember when we’re caught in the middle of the silence – waiting for things to get better.
In what ways are you experiencing pregnant silence?
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