A Double Post of Encouragement

Photo Credit: Tracy Lytle

We return to our joint post with Lisa Graf of Mom Blog today. We are sharing practical tips on how to encourage your spouse. Lisa’s post is in purple and mine is in wine. And if these aren’t enough we refer you to the Encourage Your Spouse blog where Lori Ferguson always has a fresh idea on how to do this well!

In between wiping dirty butts, helping spell words, volunteering for various things, keeping up with a household of 6 worth of chores; sometimes I forget about the relationship that requires the most effort; but seems to be easily forgotten. My husband can wipe his own butt, spell his own words & feed himself so all too often he takes a back seat. 

In today’s Wedded Bliss Wednesday here is a practical, day to day, children, no children, grandchildren, every kind of stage of life way to encourage your spouse. 

– Pray for him or her. I have it set up to repeat monthly on my google calendar and use the daily reminder option to start my day out praying for my husband.

– Purpose to only say positive things about him/her to others. Women need to talk everything out, but I have yet to come away from a husband bashing session feeling encouraged. Of course your spouse has and will mess up, but spreading their failures and shortcomings will definitely not build them up or strengthen your marriage. Surround yourselves with like minded people! There’s even challenges going on that you could join in for some extra accountability!  

– Speak their language!

– Just do it

– Do all you can to turn the heat down. Sometimes it’s important to agree to disagree, but it’s also as important to remember that your spouse loves you and wants what is best for you & the relationship. I often catch myself wondering if my husband is purposefully trying to tick me off and that is really the farthest from the truth. 

– Pack him/her a lunch and slip a note, or jot a note on a napkin (and hope it’ll be used)! 

– Do things you normally wouldn’t do, but know your spouse enjoys. In my house that would be me sitting down watching some auction, pawn shop, motorcycle building kind of shows with my husband. Take it to another level and actually sit through a This Old House or whatever those corny PBS home improvement shows. 

– Work together on projects or to meet personal goals. You will not find a better accountability partner than your spouse. 

– Support the other’s goals and dreams and ambitions as though they were your own. 

– Model what being a loving spouse looks like for your kids. Be a servant and serve him or her. Respect your husband’s authority with the kids and don’t interfere. Love your wife and care for her. Our kids will have 1 step up in this thing called marriage if they have lived out childhoods with loving and supportive parents. 

Not that this is anywhere near being an exhaustive list of things you can do to encourage your spouse, but it is definitely a good start. What are you waiting for? 

I’ve come up with an acrostic for the word “ENCOURAGE.” By following each letter I know my husband would be greatly encouraged whatever challenge he is facing. Would these work for your husband as well? If not, share with us what would. All men are different, so what works for my husband or Lisa’s husband may or may not work for yours. The key is to study your spouse so you know how best to encourage him. 

E – Embrace when he leaves in the morning and when he comes home at night. It’s important for him to know you are there for him each and every day.

N – Nudge him when he is unsure or lacking confidence about a decision. As his helper it is your privilege to help him make difficult decisions. Giving him a nudge may be the encouragement he needs.

C – Clean your space. My husband loves to walk into our room and see it beautifully in order. This encourages him by allowing him to relax.

O – Organize his stuff. This goes with the above point, but takes it a step further. If I shove the mess in a drawer it only prolongs the job. Doing it right the first time helps me as well.

U – Understand he is human; he is a sinner; and he has weaknesses. It doesn’t help to point out every weakness by nagging. Instead come alongside and fill in the gap. This is helping your husband when they need it most.

R – Romance him by initiating sex. Guaranteed your husband is most encouraged when you let him know you want him as much as he wants you.

A – Allow him to vent when he is under pressure. I’m not talking about sinfully letting him blow up in anger. Allow him to talk about what concerns him without interrupting with advice. Just listen.

G – Go out of your way to do what he asks. Making this a priority helps lighten the load he is carrying.

E – Engage in his world. If he loves golf, learn how to golf. If he loves fishing, go with him. If he loves to read, listen when he’s telling you about the storyline. Be his best friend by caring about what he loves.

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Have we mentioned how excited we are about…oh, we can’t tell you yet… 😉

Three Days And Counting…

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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