It Takes Time To Make Time

Before we were married it took no effort at all to plan our next date. We wanted to be together as much as our time would allow. But once we were married this began to gradually change; it had to. Life demanded we move on, so to speak. But moving on in the wrong way can actually damage our relationship.

It’s common for couples to relax their intentionality once they’ve started a life together. After all you’re always together. What needs to be planned? The answer is simple:


Romance before marriage has limits, that is if you’re committed to a moral, God-honoring relationship. But romance after marriage is when it gets really fun. Flirting is actually encouraged in order to grow a healthy marriage. So let’s list out some practical ways to incorporate genuine romance in our daily routine:

  • Tell your spouse you love them daily.
  • Kiss often and kiss long.
  • Hold hands when walking–anywhere.
  • Send unexpected texts to your spouse letting them know you’re thinking of them.
  • When they call during the day, make sure there is a smile in your voice reserved for them.
  • Plan regular date nights. They can be away from home or in your own backyard. Figure out what works best for the season you’re in, and do it.
  • Play with your spouse’s hair, feet, hands, or whatever body part they like caressed.

Trying these ideas may help you recover those romantic feelings you had before you said, “I do.” And they will most likely lead to more–we’ll talk about that tomorrow! 🙂

What ways do you plan for romance? Do you still flirt with your spouse?

This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Romance, Romance in Marriage, romancing your spouse and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to It Takes Time To Make Time

  1. Excellent ideas you are showing here. I can not say I implement all of them, but some I do, and the proof is I am married to the same woman from 1979.

    • Debi Walter says:

      1979 is when we were married, 2.24 to be exact. All marriages are a work in progress no matter how long we’ve been married. This is why we blog–to encourage marriages in all stages of life. Thanks so much for commenting, Juan. We appreciate the time you took to do so. Blessings to you!

      • Thank you for allow me to comment. And thank you for answer me. it is a coincidence, we were married the same year, different day. Mine was October 18/1979. Congratulations to you for keep together as one soul. That is very awesome.

      • Debi Walter says:

        Your comments are welcomed here, Juan. Have a blessed day!

  2. theoddcoupleblogcom says:

    With the stress of jobs and raising a family many people forget the romance in a marriage. I agree with your tips and we try all of them at some point. We find that we will be empty nesters at the end of the summer when our daughter gets married so looking forward to the next stage of our marriage.

    • Debi Walter says:

      We like to call it “open nesters,” because this is the time in your life when you can open your home to others in a way we never could when we were raising a family. This is the time for hospitality big time. Congratulations to your daughter. What a wonderful season for all of you.

  3. Rob and I work together – whenever we pass each other in the hall or door we *pay the toll* with a kiss. It’s kinda fun to interrupt your day with a moment or two of romance!

    One dilemma about being together all the time (and we hear this also from couples who are retired, and who are in business together) is that your romance times blurr with everyday-all day- all the time togetherness, and when you look to do something extra-ordinary or experience the zing of romance, you’re all togethered out…

    Any thoughts on how to address the ‘happy problem’ of too much time together?

    (there are about 1.2 million couples in business together (in the USA), so you’re addressing a significant group… I don’t have numbers on retired couples…)

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thanks for the post lead–I will def. address this idea soon. I had no idea there were so many couples who work together from home. Great info here.

  4. Adam's Eve says:

    We actually try to have regular date nights at least once every week. I leave little notes in my husband’s lunch box when he goes to work with Bible verses encouragement and I flirt with him a little. We are quite a flirtatious couple – we flirt all the time and steal kisses and hugs as often as possible. People call us “the kissing couple.” It makes me smile.

    • Debi Walter says:

      Yea, for regular date nights. We see them as a necessity in cultivating a healthy marriage. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.

  5. Jan Stevens says:

    I love reading posts like this because most couples need constant reminding of how important it is to always intentionally take time to spend alone together and to do the things they used to do before they were married. Thank you for these wonderful tips! Very beneficial, as always!

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you, Jan. We couldn’t agree more–we do need constant reminding because we regularly forget and get caught up in the busyness of life.

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