Not Good Enough

We have been considering the Olympics in light of marriage – applying the analogy of a good Olympian to a good marriage.

Yesterday we watched as Michael Phelps went for his 18th medal in swimming the 200m butterfly. If he won the gold he would set an Olympic record for winning the gold three consecutive times in the same event.

His form was amazing. His skill obvious. And his speed was fast–super fast, as our grandson would say. 🙂 But on the final lap he touched the wall .05 of a second short of gold. He still had a silver medal, but the look on his face showed his disappointment. He didn’t measure well in his own eyes because someone else did better.

Photo Credit: Baltimore Sun

How often do you look at other marriages and wish yours could be like theirs? How often do you compare your spouse to the spouse of a friend and wish he/she could just be like them in “this” way. Your spouse may do many things well. They may far exceed others in certain areas, but the one area you are craving change never seems to improve. They constantly fall short of your expectations because in your eyes, someone else is doing it better.

This is a pattern many marriages live with, and it is detrimental to the health of a godly marriage. We mustn’t compare what we have or don’t have with others. God is the one who gives gifts to men. We may be expecting something of our spouse they aren’t capable of producing. And who are we to say what would be best for our spouse, for our marriage? God alone determines our lot in life:

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
(Psalm 16:5-6 ESV)

Instead of coming out of the water disappointed in a swim not quite good enough, let’s come up grateful we were able to swim at all. Ungratefulness breeds discontent which leads to sin, and sin always kills. On the other hand, life is found in being grateful for what you’ve been given, and thus, trusting God to bring the needed change in your spouse and marriage.

Remember these truths the next time you’re tempted to think your spouse or your marriage is not good enough.

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Not Good Enough

  1. This is very true. Although I don’t compare my husband to other husbands very often (because he’s pretty awesome!), I have had a friend blatantly tell me that she was jealous of our marriage and the way he treats me. And, lo and behold…she’s about to finalize a divorce. When you compare your husband to others, he just doesn’t ever have a chance to stand on his own strengths.


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