One wouldn’t think this is such a difficult question to answer. I used to think sex ended when you got old–like in your fifties. But then, I turned 50! 😉 Now old is always 15 years older than me. I’m finally starting to realize that old is a relative term.
I’ve learned one thing through the years though, and that is that you can’t make generalizations when it comes to sex in marriage. Every marriage is different. God created us male and female with unique desires both good and bad. Sex is God’s idea. He intends for both husband and wife to enjoy their intimacy together. But sometimes there are reasons sex isn’t enjoyable, slows down or even comes to a complete halt. Here are some reasons we’ve heard about:
- Sickness where one is left unable to have sex.
- A season where the wife or husband no longer enjoys the act. This can be due to pain or fatigue or lack of knowledge (we’ll talk about this one tomorrow.)
- An agreement by both to no longer have sex and to expend their energy on other things they both enjoy.
I’ll admit this last one is hard for me to understand. But there are couples who, as they get older, decide that sex isn’t as important as it once was. They’re still intimate in other ways, just without intercourse.
Tom and I have been discussing this for a few days now. We have perused our marriage blogging friends sites and haven’t found any who have chimed in on this topic–when or if sex ends in marriage as you age. (If you have written on this topic, please send us the link to add to our research!) We searched the internet and found a few interesting articles with helpful statistics:
When Sex Leaves The Marriage – along with over 1300 comments from readers.
The Older Couples Are The Less They Have Sex – this post contains some interesting graphics to see the trend according to their research.
The question we have for those in our readership who are in their 60’s, 70’s and even 80’s – did you and your spouse decide to stop having sex? If so, when and how did you come to this decision? You can comment anonymously, but please do comment! You can even e-mail us privately at theromanticvineyard [at] gmail [dot] com. We want to learn all we can about this season of marriage and what to expect, and you never know how your comment will help another marriage in the long run.
For now, we enjoy our physical intimacy. It might not happen as often as it did in our earlier years, but you might be surprised if I told you just how often it does happen, but I’m not going to do that. 😉 Suffice it to say that we are both quite satisfied with what God has done in our relationship. Can you say the same? Or do you feel as if you’ve given up? Won’t you join the conversation, to help yourself and others in the process?