I love watching Tom do those things for which he is passionate, like lead our marriage community group. When someone asks him about their marriage he lights up and never fails to offer wise, biblically-based counsel. And the older he gets the richer his wealth of knowledge and experience becomes. I love this about him.
Living with him means our marriage is under constant growth and examination by not just him, but both of us. It is the attention to detail that comes with anyone devoted to something. Currently we are working on communicating more attentively. I’ll share something with him and rather than comment on what I said he’ll disregard it completely and talk about something else. We call it, “Squirrel!”
It isn’t intentional on his part, just a bad habit. Tom sincerely apologizes saying he doesn’t want to do that to me, but he still does from time to time. Later that same day, I did the same thing to him. It goes both ways, and we are working diligently to change this in our marriage.
If your spouse is devoted to something, you know what I mean about the time and attention they give it. There is the constant talk about what’s new and coming soon. The next competition or the next conference. It may be a favorite author or artist announcing a new work. Whatever it is your spouse takes interest in, don’t dismiss it. Take delight in their enjoyment of it. Ask them questions and do your part to make them better at doing it.
Healthy marriages excel at fanning the flames of your spouse’s passions, not quenching them by chasing squirrels.
Whether it’s a sport, craft, activity or subject matter, get to know this side of your spouse and watch them light up with passion. After all, we vowed to help our spouse become the best version of themselves. This is a great place to begin.
It’s hard to see, here at the end
how my life just doesn’t matter.
Whether it’s to wife or friend,
what I say is idle chatter.
They move on in well-laid plans
in which I cannot share,
and being a gentleman demands
I listen, and stay aware.
But that which animates my soul
is far too slow and plain.
A hummingbird can make me whole,
a flower keep me sane.
I will let them race on by
and wait beneath a quiet sky.
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This isn’t exactly where I thought this post was headed. Either way, your “Squirrel” alert is perfect for you guys!
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