On Wednesday I awoke with the realization that time passes so quickly. How did I get to 60? I don’t feel 60 most days, but recently I feel older than that. I have been fighting an ongoing health issue–not serious, but certainly annoying. On top of this, my favorite thing to do for birthdays is to gather as a family and celebrate. But with our kids all living out-of-state, those days are pretty much over. We get together when we can, but it rarely happens on specific days, like birthdays. Normally I am fine with it, but this year was a bigger struggle. It led me to pray and seek God leading up to my BIG day. I somewhat dreaded it.
Why am I telling you all about this? I am sharing this because this is real life. We all face huge disappointments and discouragement. This post is not about me as much as it is about Tom and how he managed to give me the best birthday in the midst of my emotional and physical struggle.
Here is my list commending Tom for his care and love for me.
1. Gift – He gave me a nice tri-pod for my new camera to aid in capturing great photos. This is my newest hobby and one I am enjoying more than I ever thought I would.
2. Shopping – I had mentioned in sharing my heart-ache with him how I missed going shopping with my Mom. We would go to the mall and walk around and look, talk, have lunch and just enjoy being out together. When we got to the store he kept following close behind me. He even said, “I want to be like your friends so just enjoy yourself.” So sweet, but I told him my friends don’t follow close behind me like a puppy dog. They go looking at things themselves. We laughed realizing there are limits to his ability to fill the gap of shopping with my Mom or girlfriends. And I’m ok with that for sure!
3. Lunch – Tom had arranged for us to have lunch at a really nice restaurant in the mall. He had called ahead telling them it was my birthday. It was like when we were first dating and he had thought out what we would do and where we would eat. I loved it! Our white-linen table was decorated with rose petals and confetti and included a hand-written birthday card from our server. It was a special time together–and the food was amazing! 🙂
4. Dinner – Tom heard me say a while back that I was wanting crab legs again like we had on vacation on Pawley’s Island. He dropped me off at Starbucks to get my birthday treat while he “ran an errand”. That errand was to pick up the crab legs to make at home for dinner. He had invited another couple over to eat with us who also love crab legs.
5. Out for the evening – I love to go to this place in town called “M” Bar. It is owned by a man who owns dozens of classic British sports cars. He has them on display inside this warehouse that he has turned into a place to gather. There are free video games, pinball machines and lots of cozy spots to sit and enjoy with others. I was surprised when another couple showed up to join us. We relaxed, laughed and celebrated together.
I had a wonderful birthday. Tom listened to my heart and did all he could to give me the gift of presence. And he sprinkled it in with things I love to do. I didn’t think once about my disappointments or struggles–such a gift to be able to help me do that!
I think my 60’s are off to a good start.
Emotional Intimacy Prompt: What can you do today to alleviate the stress, disappointment or struggles your spouse is facing? Listen to them and take notes. Hints are often given as passing comments.