It’s the time of year in Florida where we have to prune, trim and weed our yard. Spring comes before the calendar says it’s so, and Saturday was the right time for us to get to work. We enjoy yard work in the cool weather. And it always pays off come Summer.
The biggest task is hard pruning my rose garden.
They have thorns as long as finger nails and have to be cut back to a third of their size; It’s no easy task. However, the right tools makes it much easier.
My daughter bought me the most amazing rose garden gloves for my birthday last year that are made of thick leather and cover all the way to my elbows. This is the first year I didn’t get a single thorn prick or scratch. It is nothing short of amazing! I have rose thorns embedded in my fingers from years past, so this was a blessing I didn’t know I was missing.
This made me wonder what having the right tools for our marriage could mean.
- Maybe less pain and more progress?
- More willingness to do the work with faster results?
- Cleaner cuts that promote new growth, instead of careless cuts that bring more problems?
This pandemic has brought isolation in ways many of us have never experienced.
It can cause already difficult areas in our marriage to become unbearable, like old overgrowth after a long, dormant winter. It screams for pruning. It’s noticeable and more difficult to ignore. But be careful; there are deep wounds the thorns of unresolved conflict can inflict on a weakened marriage.
“Wearing gloves” in marriage is likened to admitting you need help.
It takes humility to let your needs be known. God has ordained it this way. We aren’t meant to live in isolation. We need each other to help us learn and grow.
Marriages face many challenges. Some are unique to your relationship. Some are common to most. Take time and consider who are those in your life available to help you in your time of need? Who has a marriage you admire? What authors have written books that discuss the very challenges you face? What marriage blogs discuss practicals on how to prune in the right way leading to new growth? Or consider talking with your pastor or a marriage counselor if more one on one help is required.
Pruning and weeding is never easy. Once you start it always looks worse before it gets better. Lots of dirt and cuts, but if done right with the proper tools it won’t leave you or your spouse with unsightly scars. The best part? The hope for a healthier, stronger marriage as Summer approaches—a beauty to behold!
We are happy to offer suggestions on what resources could help you in your current struggles. Just ask, either in the comments or by emailing us.