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Tom and Debi
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Category Archives: Conflict
Physical Intimacy – Do You Dare?
In all our years of mentoring marriages we’ve discovered personally how difficult it is for most couples to talk about sexual intimacy. This complicates an already tender topic in many ways. Imagine you’ve taken a new job, an entry-level position … Continue reading
Posted in Conflict, Intimacy, Physical
Tagged Discussing hard topics in marriage, Do You Dare?, Physical intimacy, Vulnerable
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Near Miss
Sometimes we have a near miss and don’t even realize it, but not this time. This time I happened to be looking out our window at 35,000′ when a Southwest Jet flew by our window going in the opposite direction. … Continue reading
Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Conflict
Tagged 35000’, marriage, Near Miss, safety features
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Choices and Voices
Choices. We make them everyday, all day long! What motivates the choices we make? Now that’s a question worth considering. Today Tom and I had another one of those moments that we don’t like. It was not that big a … Continue reading
What Are Your Top Two?
We all have areas in our marriage that are in need of attention. What we do with these areas is the defining difference between a healthy marriage and an unhealthy marriage. Having a church community of friends who know and … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Benefits of Church Community, Can We Talk, communication, mentoring
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The Best Thing You Can Do To Make Your Marriage Better Right Now
How is your marriage? Are you experiencing what we call a high-high? Or a low-low? Maybe you find your marriage somewhere in between. Wherever your marriage currently lies, the best thing you can do has nothing to do with the … Continue reading
Five Friday Favorites – Difficult Topics in Marriage
So often in marriage the way the enemy works against us it to make us uncomfortable talking about important topics. The only way to counter this attack is to do the difficult thing and talk about them. We are privileged … Continue reading
Giving God Full Creative Access
Imagine an artist gifted in painting realism who has an accident in the studio. Paint is splashed all over the canvas ruining the piece as they had planned. But is it ruined or just different? Abstract paintings are as beautiful … Continue reading
First Steps Toward Change
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” It is a familiar quote and one repeated often. But the fact that is familiar doesn’t mean we are practicing Mr. Franklin’s advice. When we were … Continue reading
When Nothing Is Something
I’ve done this more times than I can count. Tom walks in and notices something is bothering me. He asks, “What’s wrong?” To which I reply, “Nothing.” There are two possible reasons I give this answer. I am feeling sad, … Continue reading
In Or Out Of Control
There are some things you can control and some you can’t. And sometimes what you thought you could control, you find out the hard way that you never could. Ever been there? We all have, if we’re honest. I grew … Continue reading
Are You Hangry?
Hangry is a combination of two words–hungry and angry. Anger often has the same appetite of hunger. It craves what it doesn’t have and results in a harsh outburst. Ugly. James 4 says, “1What causes quarrels and what causes fights … Continue reading
Countering What Annoys You About Your Spouse
Does your spouse have habits that annoy you? If so, what you choose to do with those thoughts makes a huge difference in the growth of your relationship. The following account is told in the Bible about King David. He … Continue reading
Getting To Know You
A famous song is our post title for today. We did a parody of it at our church a few years ago for a ladies retreat that focused on the seasons of life. This song is one of my favorites … Continue reading
If Your Sheets Could Talk
Yesterday we talked about the challenges all couples face when it comes to money. If resolve isn’t found, it can be the final death blow to a struggling marriage. There is another challenging area in marriage often cited as the … Continue reading
Do You Struggle With This In Your Marriage?
Today is Tax Day in America. It is the day we all must pay our dues to the government whether we like it or not. If they have taken too much from us during the year, it is a time … Continue reading
If My Spouse Would Just…
Photo by Priscilla Du Perez on Unsplash How would you finish this title? “If my spouse would just…” If you have an immediate answer that involves something they need to do to change, it’s likely you have some unresolved conflict … Continue reading
Tale of Two Conversations – The Choice Is Yours
Conversation #1 – Something was weighing on my mind. It was concerning something in our marriage, and I had been dwelling on it long enough to make me discouraged. It grew larger in my thoughts as each day passed. I … Continue reading
Cut Off The Fuel That Feeds The Fire
Always be kind. That’s what our parents taught us growing up. “Kindness begets kindness,” they would say. But in the heat of the moment many forget to put their kindness on display. I remember my husband telling me about an … Continue reading
The Necessity Of Light
We have two three-way lamps in our bedroom on either side of our bed. Each light setting provides a different purpose. If I just want to make our room look nice and inviting, I’ll put it on the lower light. … Continue reading
What We Didn’t Know Going In To Our Marriage
When we said our marriage vows we had no idea of what lay ahead of us. We didn’t know… In our first year we would move to the one city neither of us wanted to live. I would face health … Continue reading
