Tom and Debi
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Category Archives: Conflict
Vintage Post: Assumptions and Disregard
This is a series originally posted in November 2016. We share it as a Vintage post because it’s worth remembering. The last two practices you may or may not realize you’re doing. This is why we want to shine the … Continue reading
Posted in communication, Conflict, Vintage Posts
Tagged Assumptions, Disregard, Marriage help, Vintage Post
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Vintage Post: Critical Judgments
Originally posted in November 2016 You begin to share with your spouse about something that is really bothering you. Right as you are pouring your heart out to them, they ask a question about something else, revealing that they haven’t … Continue reading
Transitions
Ask any woman who has experienced natural childbirth what transition was like and you’ll most likely get a grimace. Transitions are hard and there is usually no way around them but through. When our son was born my labor progressed … Continue reading
Physician or Prosecutor?
In one our favorite marriage books, Cherish, Gary Thomas uses a very helpful metaphor in how to help your spouse. We all have things we do wrong at some point in our relationship whether it is blatant sin against each … Continue reading
Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Conflict
Tagged But God, Cherish, Gary Thomas, Romans 12, Vow Keepers
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Test Your Marriage
Have you ever noticed that if something is bothering you in your marriage it’s all you can think about or see? Tom uses an illustration that is so helpful… Take a credit card and hold it in your hand. Stretch … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Marriage failure, Marriage help, Marriage Test, Unresolved Issues
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Being Honest
For communication to work well in marriage it requires a commitment to honesty. But not just dumping honest words in your spouse’s lap; that’s not kind nor smart. Many misinterpret the scripture, “speaking the truth in love” to mean saying … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Communication in Marriage, Honesty, marriage
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Drifting or Sailing?
Never underestimate the value of time together alone. It is needed for your marriage to keep from drifting. The danger with drift is that you don’t know it’s happening until you’re way off course. If you don’t have goals set … Continue reading
Is It Safe To Be Real?
I was the youngest of three growing up in the 60’s. Our lively conversations at the table were often filled with laughter and teasing. But because I was 5 and 6 years younger than my brother and sister (respectively), I … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged communication, How our past influences our present, Is it safe to be real?, Marriage help
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When Comfortable Isn’t Good
We are talking about painting the inside of our home. It has been years since we last did it–11 to be exact–and it is time. But considering the colors we want, it will most likely lead to changing furniture, wall … Continue reading
Pruning A Marriage Is Hard Work
It is Spring in FL and everything in our garden needs pruning, weeding, mulching, fertilizing and/or repotting. It can be overwhelming when looked at as a whole. But Tom and I have found that focusing on one thing and completing … Continue reading
Beauty To Behold
It’s the time of year in Florida where we have to prune, trim and weed our yard. Spring comes before the calendar says it’s so, and Saturday was the right time for us to get to work. We enjoy yard … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, Conflict, Growing Strong Marriages
Tagged isolation, Marriage help, Pandemic, pruning roses
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A Dormant Season
We have a huge, very healthy bougainvillea in our backyard. It is so large it is pushing our new fence and making it difficult to walk by it without getting scratched by it’s enormous thorns. We needed to prune it, … Continue reading
Introducing Simon and Eden
Tom and I have enjoyed the new series on the life and ministry of Jesus titled, The Chosen. If you haven’t seen it yet, we highly recommend it. It’s unlike any production of this nature. It provides insight into the … Continue reading
Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Conflict
Tagged Resolving Conflict, Simon and Eden, The Chosen Series
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Pandemic Marriage Check Up
Tension. Every marriage faces it. It comes from no where and sometimes settles so thick you could cut it with a knife. Many use words instead, which cuts deeper and always leaves a scar. Pandemics are like a boiler keeping … Continue reading
The Annoying Hiccups of Marriage
In this season of quarantines being relaxed and then restricted again, it can become disconcerting. But let’s remember the one constant in our life…our marriage. Whatever restrictions we face, we are in this together. Hiccups and all! Two are better … Continue reading
Ten Ways to Not Waste This Time in Marriage
None of us expected this, but here we are. It has been the strangest worldwide event in my lifetime. We have been sheltering in place for a couple of months now, and social distancing whenever we venture out. Always going … Continue reading
Dealing with Conflict in Marriage
This post was originally published on our church’s website. We want to share it here as well. It is unavoidable in marriage. How we deal with conflict makes all the difference in how healthy and strong our marriage becomes. There … Continue reading
How Will We Respond In Crisis? The Choice Is Ours
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash[/caption] Today is a guest post by Sheri Bybee Mitchell with Good Job, Mama on Facebook. I met her a while ago after she left an excellent, thought-provoking comment on a post. Since she doesn’t … Continue reading
Twisted Words
Have you ever said something to your spouse and the reaction they gave was unexpected? You realize that they didn’t hear what you said in the way you meant them too. A miscommunication is hanging in the air and you … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Humility, Instincts, marriage, Patience, Twisted Words
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Physical Intimacy – Do You Dare?
In all our years of mentoring marriages we’ve discovered personally how difficult it is for most couples to talk about sexual intimacy. This complicates an already tender topic in many ways. Imagine you’ve taken a new job, an entry-level position … Continue reading
Posted in Conflict, Intimacy, Physical
Tagged Discussing hard topics in marriage, Do You Dare?, Physical intimacy, Vulnerable
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The Romantic Vineyard 