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Tom and Debi
Debi Walter
Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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Category Archives: Conflict
A Dormant Season
We have a huge, very healthy bougainvillea in our backyard. It is so large it is pushing our new fence and making it difficult to walk by it without getting scratched by it’s enormous thorns. We needed to prune it, … Continue reading
Introducing Simon and Eden
Tom and I have enjoyed the new series on the life and ministry of Jesus titled, The Chosen. If you haven’t seen it yet, we highly recommend it. It’s unlike any production of this nature. It provides insight into the … Continue reading
Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Conflict
Tagged Resolving Conflict, Simon and Eden, The Chosen Series
1 Comment
Pandemic Marriage Check Up
Tension. Every marriage faces it. It comes from no where and sometimes settles so thick you could cut it with a knife. Many use words instead, which cuts deeper and always leaves a scar. Pandemics are like a boiler keeping … Continue reading
The Annoying Hiccups of Marriage
In this season of quarantines being relaxed and then restricted again, it can become disconcerting. But let’s remember the one constant in our life…our marriage. Whatever restrictions we face, we are in this together. Hiccups and all! Two are better … Continue reading
Ten Ways to Not Waste This Time in Marriage
None of us expected this, but here we are. It has been the strangest worldwide event in my lifetime. We have been sheltering in place for a couple of months now, and social distancing whenever we venture out. Always going … Continue reading
Dealing with Conflict in Marriage
This post was originally published on our church’s website. We want to share it here as well. It is unavoidable in marriage. How we deal with conflict makes all the difference in how healthy and strong our marriage becomes. There … Continue reading
How Will We Respond In Crisis? The Choice Is Ours
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash[/caption] Today is a guest post by Sheri Bybee Mitchell with Good Job, Mama on Facebook. I met her a while ago after she left an excellent, thought-provoking comment on a post. Since she doesn’t … Continue reading
Twisted Words
Have you ever said something to your spouse and the reaction they gave was unexpected? You realize that they didn’t hear what you said in the way you meant them too. A miscommunication is hanging in the air and you … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Humility, Instincts, marriage, Patience, Twisted Words
3 Comments
Physical Intimacy – Do You Dare?
In all our years of mentoring marriages we’ve discovered personally how difficult it is for most couples to talk about sexual intimacy. This complicates an already tender topic in many ways. Imagine you’ve taken a new job, an entry-level position … Continue reading
Posted in Conflict, Intimacy, Physical
Tagged Discussing hard topics in marriage, Do You Dare?, Physical intimacy, Vulnerable
3 Comments
Near Miss
Sometimes we have a near miss and don’t even realize it, but not this time. This time I happened to be looking out our window at 35,000′ when a Southwest Jet flew by our window going in the opposite direction. … Continue reading
Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Conflict
Tagged 35000’, marriage, Near Miss, safety features
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Choices and Voices
Choices. We make them everyday, all day long! What motivates the choices we make? Now that’s a question worth considering. Today Tom and I had another one of those moments that we don’t like. It was not that big a … Continue reading
What Are Your Top Two?
We all have areas in our marriage that are in need of attention. What we do with these areas is the defining difference between a healthy marriage and an unhealthy marriage. Having a church community of friends who know and … Continue reading
Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict
Tagged Benefits of Church Community, Can We Talk, communication, mentoring
3 Comments
The Best Thing You Can Do To Make Your Marriage Better Right Now
How is your marriage? Are you experiencing what we call a high-high? Or a low-low? Maybe you find your marriage somewhere in between. Wherever your marriage currently lies, the best thing you can do has nothing to do with the … Continue reading
Five Friday Favorites – Difficult Topics in Marriage
So often in marriage the way the enemy works against us it to make us uncomfortable talking about important topics. The only way to counter this attack is to do the difficult thing and talk about them. We are privileged … Continue reading
Giving God Full Creative Access
Imagine an artist gifted in painting realism who has an accident in the studio. Paint is splashed all over the canvas ruining the piece as they had planned. But is it ruined or just different? Abstract paintings are as beautiful … Continue reading
First Steps Toward Change
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” It is a familiar quote and one repeated often. But the fact that is familiar doesn’t mean we are practicing Mr. Franklin’s advice. When we were … Continue reading
When Nothing Is Something
I’ve done this more times than I can count. Tom walks in and notices something is bothering me. He asks, “What’s wrong?” To which I reply, “Nothing.” There are two possible reasons I give this answer. I am feeling sad, … Continue reading
In Or Out Of Control
There are some things you can control and some you can’t. And sometimes what you thought you could control, you find out the hard way that you never could. Ever been there? We all have, if we’re honest. I grew … Continue reading
Are You Hangry?
Hangry is a combination of two words–hungry and angry. Anger often has the same appetite of hunger. It craves what it doesn’t have and results in a harsh outburst. Ugly. James 4 says, “1What causes quarrels and what causes fights … Continue reading
Countering What Annoys You About Your Spouse
Does your spouse have habits that annoy you? If so, what you choose to do with those thoughts makes a huge difference in the growth of your relationship. The following account is told in the Bible about King David. He … Continue reading