To Cherish or Admonish?

You’ve probably had it happen in your marriage too. Your spouse is telling a familiar story to some friends and they get a detail wrong. How could they not remember how it happened? Admonishment is my knee-jerk reaction in such scenarios.

“It wasn’t in February. Don’t you remember it was when the leaves were falling? It was definitely October!”

I’ve often said something similar to Tom. Obviously, he doesn’t or he would have said it the way I remember it. The hardest thing for me to do is to let it go and not correct him.

Why is it so difficult for me? Or maybe for you too?

As we get older the details of the things we remember are precious to us. So precious that it bothers many of us if they are not recalled in the same way you or I remember.

I’m trying to be more aware of when this happens, so I can choose to cherish Tom by letting him tell the story the way he recalls. Most times the details of the story don’t really matter that much, unless you’re an editor at heart like me. Then things are meant to be corrected. Except I love Tom. I should prefer him over being right on a detail that doesn’t matter.

It’s time to silence the editor within and give voice to our spouse. Anytime we have a choice to make to have our way or give way to our spouse, let’s choose the latter. They and our marriages are worth it.

 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” 

Romans 12:10 ESV

Cherishing is so much better than admonishing.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
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3 Responses to To Cherish or Admonish?

  1. Vickie says:

    Great encouragement as I’ve often been guilty of this as I’m a detail person. I have been working on giving my husband grace in this area for quite some time and I keep working on it. God, put a guard over my lips when I’m tempted to correct my husband over things that don’t matter.

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  2. Pingback: Crossing the Line of Acceptance | The Romantic Vineyard

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