No matter how long you’ve been married, there is something special about pausing to remember.

Christmas provides a great opportunity to do so, since it happens the end of the year.

Our pastor always asks these questions in December, “Look back at where you were this time last year? How have you grown? How has your perspective changed? What challenges have you endured? What victories have you faced? What has made you happy or sad? And why?”

These are good questions to ponder together as a couple. We are on this journey of marriage for the purpose of growing in our relationship to the Father and reflecting that love in how we treat each other.

Our marriage is an expression of the love Jesus has for His church, His bride.

We encourage you to set aside some time after the kids are in bed. Sit together in the quiet with the lights flickering and talk about these things.

We often assume our spouse knows us so well we don’t have to tell them what we’re thinking, but this is an unfair assumption. Only the Holy Spirit knows the thoughts we have. Make this time a priority and see how God increases the intimacy you share as friends and lovers.

We will have a slow Christmas that’s a bit quieter than usual. Rather than feel sorry for the distance there is between us and most of our grandchildren, we will use this time to lean in and love each other well in this season. And we’ll have Elias to enjoy as he experiences this Christmas as a three year old without cancer-our biggest victory this year!

Merry Christmas!