This week is what Christians call Holy Week. It is the beginning of following Jesus’s final journey on Earth to the cross. It is the most important week of the year.

If Jesus didn’t die and 3 days later rise to His triumph over sin and death, then there is no hope. But the good news of the Gospel is—He Lives! And because He lives our marriage has hope to grow and mature as the years pass.

The Gospel is never more on display than when two sinners say, “I do.”

Our first three years of marriage were a continual honeymoon. Then reality knocked on our door. We discovered the sin that easily entangles had a grip on both of us.

We had a decision to make. Would we stay together through the worse times, or would unforgiveness and bitterness win?

Obviously we made the decision to fight for our marriage.

What made this possible was posturing our hearts in humility and mercy.

Humility realizes the sin your spouse struggles with is no worse than the sin you struggle with. We are both equally sinners.

Mercy is willing to extend forgiveness when your spouse asks for it. The game changer for us was when we realized sin wasn’t a “his or her” problem, it was an “us” problem. We had to fight for each other’s freedom from besetting sins.

This only works when both the husband and wife are postured to repent and receive mercy, or to listen and extend mercy.

How to begin this process.

1. Start with a clean slate. Make sure there are no hidden sins your spouse isn’t aware of. If there are, it’s time to come clean. Warning: This is the hardest part. But God gives grace to the humble. We encourage you to seek counsel from a pastor or counselor to get through full repentance.

2. Once you’ve confessed your sin, allow your spouse time to grieve. It is hard for them to hear, especially if they are taken completely off guard by your confession. Any reaction to your confession whether sadness or anger is warranted. Reacting sinfully to the way your spouse deals with your confession only deepens the gap between you.

3. Talk about how you’re both doing. Then listen to understand not to respond. The former is humble. The latter is proud. Be willing to talk as long as it takes. Let your spouse ask questions and always be gut-level honest with them. There is no place for defensiveness in a repentant heart.

4. Finally, and most importantly, pray together out loud. One of the biggest breakthroughs in Tom’s life came after he heard me pray for him. He heard my heart laid bare before the Father appealing for his freedom. It changed him.

Marriage is the best relationship in this life worth fighting for.

But it requires both spouses fighting on the same team against a common enemy—Satan. He wants nothing more than to silence your testimony.

If you are in a difficult season of marriage there is hope. Posture your heart humbly before the Lord and your spouse and watch what God does.

What better way to begin Holy Week than to seek to be holy as He is holy.