Are You Listening?

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How often do we tune out the voices of those around us?  We get so caught up in our duties and schedules that we miss wonderful opportunities to bless our spouse.

Recently Tom mentioned briefly on the phone that he couldn’t wait to come home.  He obviously had had a difficult day, and our home is the place he comes to for retreat.  When he walked in the door I took his hand and led him to his favorite chair in our room.  Waiting on the table for him was a plate of his favorite munchies, a cold drink and the book he’s currently reading.  I left him alone until dinner giving him time to relax and unwind.

More times than not, I miss these opportunities.  It’s not because I don’t care for or love my husband.  It’s because I’m not listening on a regular basis for ways to bless, encourage and romance the man of my life.  It can be tempting to react with thoughts like, “I’m just as busy as he is…I need a break too!”  But the Bible tells us to treat others, not in the same way they treat us, but the way that we would like to be treated.  Someone has to go first – why not you?

Let’s purpose to listen for hints as to the needs and wants of our spouses.  This is one small way to communicate our love for them that is sure to have a lasting impact.

Are you listening?

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My “Fair” Lady

fair-2Do you have fond memories of the fair?  Funnel cakes, deep fried corn on the cob, steaming-hot corn dogs on a stick, or a huge swirl of pastel-colored cotton candy?  Who can forget the candied or caramel apples or the sounds of the carousel spinning endlessly through the night? Taking a ride on the ferris wheel lifting you high above the midway can be a romantic experience.  Are you thinking that was then?  So much has changed – life is too serious!

When a relationship first begins it’s moments like these that are irresistible.  Just having uninterrupted time together is not only greatly anticipated, but joyfully planned.  We want to encourage you to look for these opportunities and plan them in advance, so your relationship is encouraged and strengthened.   It may feel awkward at first, if you have neglected spending this kind of time together, but we assure you the love and excitement you had when your relationship first began can be rediscovered – one romantic date at a time.

What a great way to enjoy each other’s company – The 98th Central Florida Fair arrives Thursday, April 16th and runs until 26th.   This year there are lots of exhibits to stroll through as well as great midway rides and games.  Tickets are only $5 for adults, if purchased in advance.  Once the fair begins the ticket price increases to $8 per adult.  In addition, advanced unlimited ride bands can be purchased for $15 – adult, but increase to $20 after tomorrow.

So take your lady by the hand and rediscover the child-like fun The Central Florida Fair provides.

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A New Venue

wedding-cake-topperThere’s a new theatre or should we say “old” theatre that has been restored to it’s former glory!  It’s called the Garden Theatre, and it is located in the heart of downtown Winter Garden.  This weekend they are featuring live performances of the musical “I Do, I Do” about the celebration of 50 years of marriage.  We have not seen this production before, but the premise sounds intriguing.  Here’s what they have to say:

Michael and Agnes have taken that most important step – marriage, and they live happily ever after, right?  Well…not exactly.  Follow Michael and Agnes through 50 years of laughter, sorrow, hopes and disappointments as they discover what makes a marriage work.  An intimate and nostalgic musical by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones, authors of “The Fantasticks,” I Do, I Do features a charming blend of story songs including favorites such as “Love Isn’t Everything,” “I Love My Wife,” and the heartfelt ballad, “My Cup Runneth Over.” Starring Laura Hodos and David Kelly and directed by Janet Watson (Tom Jones’ wife), you won’t want to miss this intimate musical that explores the eternal truths of the ups and downs of love and marriage.  For tickets CLICK HERE!

Also, this weekend, they are offering a matinee showing of the classic Steve Martin movie, Father Of The Bride.  Tickets are only $5.  Showtime is at 2p.

Have a Blessed Easter celebrating the reason married love works – because He first loved us!

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Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment

easter1This is the week traditionally called “Holy week”;  Christians celebrate the greatest gift of all – Christ’s death and resurrection all year long, but especially so this week leading up to Easter Sunday.  What a great time to reflect on what Christ has done for us and how it effects our marriages.  Christ has shown us mercy when we deserved judgment!

In his excellent book, When Sinners Say “I Do”, Dave Harvey speaks of the effect mercy has on our marriages.

‘ “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15).

Scripture assumes we each have weaknesses, and Christ is aware of and extends mercy toward every single one.  He can relate to our struggles and calls us to do the same for our spouses.

Would your spouse say you sympathize with weakness?  That you extend to him or her the mercy Christ has lavished on you in light of your weaknesses?  Or do you sit in judgment?

The good news for self-righteous, judgmental people (all of us from time to time) is that mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13).  When I grasp the mercy of God expressed to me, it opens my eyes to the bankruptcy of my own righteousness and sends me to the cross for the righteousness of Christ.  I can then sympathize with my spouse’s weaknesses and rejoice in my own, for they reveal God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9).  As John Stott has said, “God’s power operates best in human weakness.  Weakness is the arena in which God can most effectively manifest his power.” ‘

Does mercy triumph over judgment?  What do you think?  I came across these words from Shakespeare which speak a better answer than I could ever give.

The quality of mercy is not strain’d,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

Mercy is never strained because it is able to cover all it touches.  It sweetens all it touches because it comes from heaven — from the very throne of the merciful Savior.  Mercy is a blessing to those who receive and those who give.  Take all you can get.  And don’t forget to pass it on.                                                         (pages 93 & 96)

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Taking Turns

taking-turns

Here’s a great idea we discovered recently:  Set aside one night each week as your date night and make every effort to keep it on the same night.   Take turns planning your date following these simple rules:

  • It must last at least 2 hours
  • You must plan something that your spouse will enjoy
  • Topics not allowed to discuss are – work issues or parenting issues.  This is your night to nourish your relationship as husband and wife, not to fix all the other problems that loom large over you.
  • Remember your date doesn’t have to cost anything – it can even be at home once the children are asleep.  (See D.R.A.B. category for ideas)
  • Use the category list in the sidebar to help with ideas when it’s your turn.
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Creating A Romantic Space

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Now that our first contest is underway – Romanitcizing Your Bedroom – we don’t want to leave you there with no idea of how to go about doing it, especially in these economic times.  You may be tempted to think that it’s impossible on your budget, but don’t give up so fast!

I found an excellent list by Angela Wilson, and with permission I am sharing some of them below with you!  Our hope is that these ideas will spark an idea you hadn’t thought of before, and allow you to make a welcome retreat in your own home.

The Basics (common suggestions)

  • Remove clutter
  • Use color (paint the walls)
  • Buy soft sheets and nice bedding
  • Hang beautiful and colorful curtains
  • Music – have romantic CDs available
  • Either take out the television or hide it
  • Hang beautiful art work (not pictures of your family or children)
  • Use different-sized pillows
  • Light candles
  • Use beautiful flowers

Unique and Fun Ideas

Go beyond the basics to add a special touch while making your master bedroom more romantic.

Experiment with Mirrors

You don’t have to put the mirrors on the ceiling, but experiment with placing mirrors you already own in suggestive places. If the budget allows, you can purchase new mirrors, and based on your experiments, you’ll know exactly where to hang them.

Add Color without Painting

If you are renting, you are probably not permitted to paint the walls. Instead, shop around for the best deal on sheer fabric. Get creative with some thumb tacks and sheer fabric and you can turn your plain bedroom into a colorful romantic dream.

Make Your Own Canopy

Instead of buying a canopy, make your own. It’s still going to require some spending, but it will be a lot less than buying a ready-made one (or a new bed frame). You can find wall-hooks at most craft or hardware stores. Put the hooks on the ceiling and hang sheer fabric from the ceiling to the floor.

“Does This Put Me in the Mood?”

While removing clutter, go through everything in your bedroom and ask, does this put me in the mood? If the answer is no, find a new home for it somewhere else in your apartment or home. It may start to feel bare once you start moving some stuff out, but you can replace those items with sexy pillows, pictures, candles, romantic books, etc. Remember, this is your love nest – not your living room. The bedroom needs to serve one purpose: to sleep and to love. Both will improve by only keeping things in the room that add to the experience instead of distracting from it.

Christmas Lights

You can use the white lights with white cords or the colorful lights with green cords. It’s really up to you as both can be very effective at setting the romantic mood. Get creative with how you hang the lights – place them in fake plants or trees, along the top of the walls, in sheer fabric, around the bottom of the bed, along the headboard, or any other creative way you can think of. Christmas lights are cheap and perfect for using color and low lights to set the mood.

Change the Bedding

Instead of buying new bedding, just wash the sheets and comforter and spray them with some linen spray, your favorite perfume or cologne, or even body spray. If you want to spend a little, buy a couple fuzzy or soft throws for the top of the bed. The softness will add a new experience to your sense of touch.  If you have the time, it’s a special treat to spray starch and iron the top sheet of your bed.

Fancy Lights

Instead of buying new lamps, just use what you have a buy some affordable colored bulbs for them. Go for pink bulbs for a soft and sensual color of light.

Get the Temperature Right

This one seems obvious, but failing to plan for it could quickly kill the mood. If it’s cold, be sure to heat the room up by turning up the thermostat or using a space heater. If it’s hot, be sure to cool the room and add a fan to keep the air moving and romantic.

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Romanticize Your Master Bedroom

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It’s the time of year when we purpose to deep clean and sanitize our homes.  It’s also a great time to take a good look at your bedroom to examine it’s romance value – does it need to be romanticized?  Is it a place that invites the two of you to enjoy quiet, intimate time alone?  Or does it remind you of your many other responsibilities; i.e. parenting, business and household chores?

Why not put this room at the top of your Spring Cleaning list!  What can you do to make this room an oasis where romance thrives?  Is there another place to keep the computer?  How about those piles of bills?

As incentive we are having our first ever “Romantic Vineyard Contest”.   What we need is for you to follow the steps below and submit them to us no later than midnight,  April 30, 2009.  We will judge the entries based on the difference between the before and after pictures and the creativity you used to romanticize your bedroom.  Also include a paragraph or two describing the process. The winners will receive a very special Romantic Vineyard package compiled just for you!  We hope you’ll make the most of this opportunity to romanticize your bedroom.

1.  How Romantic Is Your Bedroom?  Find out by taking our quiz located in the right side bar!

2.  What is your Romantic Value Score?

3.  What is your name and e-mail address.

4.  Provide a before and after picture of your Master Bedroom

5.   Tell us about your experience romanticizing your bedroom in one or two paragraphs

6.  Submit them to us via e-mail:  theromanticvineyard @ gmail.com (please remove spaces before pasting to your e-mail.)

7.  Winners will be announced on this blog May 8th!

I also received in my inbox today a great article titled, “Be Aware Of Your Clutter This Week!”.  Taking time to read this will greatly help you in getting started on your project!

Posted in Contests, Romance | Tagged | 5 Comments

A Reflection of Oneness

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A Reflection of Oneness!

This is an excellent article on the importance of regular sex in marriage.  Oftentimes the wife is stereotyped as being the one who refuses the husband.  However, the problem can go both ways.  Read this article and measure your marriage accordingly.  This will benefit your happiness, but more importantly your “Oneness”.

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What Picture Is Your Marriage Portraying?

stack-of-books9Marks e-Journal has compiled a comparison chart of thirty top selling books on marriage along with a book review.  It is good, no matter how long we’ve been married, to make a practice of reading one good book on marriage a year.  This will help us identify blind spots in our relationship to help us change and grow, and it will cement our convictions as to why we married in the first place.  Is it for our enjoyment – yes, but it’s also for the spread of the gospel.  Our relationship mirrors the relationship of Christ with the Church, so the way we present ourselves to the world matters more than we realize.  What picture are you portraying?

The e-Journal is a PDF file and the chart is found on page 6.  Here is an excerpt from the Editor’s Note:

As society moves further and further away from the biblical practice of marriage (think of the recent decision by the California Supreme Court to allow for homosexuals to marry), it will become that much more critical for rightly ordered and healthy Christian marriages to comprise the backdrop of gospel proclamation, again, like so many are saying about caring for the poor. Neither of these matters are the gospel, but both present a kind of picture of the gospel; both are powerfully redolent with the gospel’s love and forgiveness.

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Cultivating A Love That Deepens and Grows

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With the economy going the way it is right now many people are looking for ways to escape the pressures by going out!  As Christians we don’t have to fear the future – we know that God is in complete control over our tomorrows.  This doesn’t negate the fact that we are facing serious times, and it is why we must PURPOSE to pursue our spouses romantically.  We mustn’t let our feelings (or lack of)  dictate our commitment to regular date nights.

Is your husband feeling especially distraught – then, ask if you can plan a special night out for him.  Is your wife feeling lost in the piles of laundry and/or to-do lists that she hasn’t looked your way in a while?  Then, plan a special night out for her.   Date nights are not only for our pleasure, but they are for the health and well-being of our relationship.  Time together is necessary for our love to deepen and grow.

Make sure you check out our updated collection of Vintage Date Night ideas.  You’ll find them by clicking the tab above.  There are a wide variety of options including free dates night ideas.

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Do You Have Plans?

farmers-market

Date nights never happen unless someone takes time to plan them.  If it’s been a long time since you’ve enjoyed an evening (or afternoon) out with your spouse – why not plan one for this coming weekend?  There’s still time to secure a babysitter – and with spring in the air, it’s the right time for a perfect date enjoyed outdoors.  Here are a few things you may enjoy:

  • Cinema In The Park – downtown Sanford’s Centennial Park.  Show time 8p.  Feature: Journey To The Center Of The Earth 3D.  The first 100 people receive free 3D glasses.  FREE

Farmer’s Markets – enjoy a Saturday morning out for breakfast and a trip to a local farmer’s market.  Here are a few in the area to choose from:

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Personalized Radio Without Commercials

radioA friend recently suggested we check out Pandora.com.  What an amazing tool!!  You can type in your favorite type of romantic music – Kenny G, Josh Groban, Norah Jones, etc… and it compiles a continuous play of music that fits that genre.  The best part is there are no commercial interruptions!  I don’t know about you, but having commercials interrupt a romantic evening is a real mood breaker.  Thanks, Paul, for sharing this site with us!

NOTE:  Be sure to check out the Husbands/Wives Only tabs above for great ideas for St. Patrick’s Day, which is tomorrow – March 17th!  Don’t waste your holiday – these are great opportunities to romance your spouse in a fun and cost-effective way!  Top O The Mornin’ To Ya!

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The World Is Taking Notice

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Winter Park Art Festival Next Weekend!

morse06I recently realized that I’m as old as the Winter Park Art Festival – hmmm! Not really that special, but it seems like I should get a free ticket – oh wait — it’s a free event! 🙂

Anyway, this is one of our favorite dates – to stroll the festival hand in hand. Click here for all the details!  If you don’t live in the Orlando area, this is the time of year that most cities offer Spring Arts Festivals.  Be sure to check one out in your area.  And don’t forget your camera!

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A Surprising Habit!

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What is it about surprises that make us smile?  Is it the unexpected or just the fact that someone cared enough to pull off such a surprise?  Surprises are one of the easiest (and most fun) ways to romance your spouse.   I have heard of a husband who said that he always has a surprise of some sort in the works for his wife.  What a great habit to form!

Take some time to think of a surprise for your spouse that you can do today.

(NOTE:  Be sure to check out the “For Husbands/Wives Only” pages.  There are great ideas for St. Patrick’s Day which is Tuesday, March 17th.)

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Orlando Festival of Chocolate

chocolate-749217If you LOVE chocolate – this might be the perfect date night for you to consider!  It’s a festival devoted to this sweet confection.  Check out all the details HERE!

WHEN:  March 7 & 8

WHERE:  The Florida Hotel, adjacent to the Florida Mall

COST:  $10 for adults, children under 10 FREE

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Jazzed In Sanford This Saturday!

christian-tamburr

The first Saturday of the month from November to May, Sanford hosts a free event called, “Jazzed In Sanford”.  It takes place in Magnolia Square from 4 – 7p.  Afterward you can enjoy dinner at one of the many restaurants located downtown.  This month they are featuring Christian Tamburr, a 27 year old native of Melbourne who is internationally known for his musical talents, especially playing his instrument of choice, the vibraphone. Check out this performance from last summer at UCF:

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Taste Of Romance

About a year and a half ago, Tom and I had the opportunity to travel to Southern France in the Provence District with friends.  The picture in our header is one we took of the countryside where we were privileged to stay.  While there we visited a local winery, which are as numerous as our convenience stores are here in the States, but much more inviting!   Anyway, we walked into the little shop and browsed the shelves waiting for the clerk to offer us a taste of their wine.  He seemed busy, and we were afraid to interrupt.  Not long after, another couple (French speaking) entered the store, and he quickly offered them a glass.  It dawned on us that the clerk was waiting for us to ask for a sample in French.  digustationFortunately, one of us remembered the French word for “tasting – digustation”  and right away he smiled and poured each of us a glass.

Needless to say, we felt very out of place in the moment.  He knew what we wanted, and we knew what we wanted, but we didn’t know how to ask!

In the same way our vineyard has regular visitors who don’t call Orlando home.  They stop by hoping for someone to offer them a taste of romance – ideas that they can use in their part of the world.  So, if this is you we invite you to ask.  We aren’t too busy to hear from you, and we even speak English.  🙂

We have many friends who have great ideas as well, which is why we’ve added one more page called “Contributors” above.  Do you have a date night idea you would like to share with us?  Do you want to honor your spouse for what they’ve done to bless you romantically?  Then, send them to us via e-mail:  debiwalter @ gmail.com (I purposefully left spaces to prevent spammers), and we will add your idea to our Contributors page.  We’ll even keep you annonymous if you prefer.  This site isn’t about us – it’s about the fruit God has given, and  like a fine wine we gladly share with all who stop by for a taste!

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Marriage is Always Urgent

marriage_covenantWe discovered a great article on the Purpose of Marriage by John Piper.  Here is a taste of what he has to say:

Marriage is always urgent. There never has been a generation whose view of marriage is high enough. The chasm between the biblical vision of marriage and the human vision is, and has always been, gargantuan. Some cultures in history respect the importance and the permanence of marriage more than others. Some, like our own, have such low, casual, take-it-or-leave-it attitudes toward marriage as to make the biblical vision seem ludicrous to most people.

You can read the rest of this article by clicking HERE!  Our blog is committed to helping marriages grow not only romanitcally, but more importantly – biblically.  With the latter the former is certain to follow.  Our goal isn’t to encourage self-focused romantic marriages, but on the contrary God-centered marriages that delight in glorifying Him in how we treat our spouses.   Having been the recipient of this kind of God-honoring love for 30 years with Tom, I am living proof that marriage God’s way is only way it will succeed.

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Making Anniversaries Special

img_9809Thirty years ago today Tom and I were married, but it seems as if we’ve only begun.  One of the things I love most about my husband is the way he elevates the priority of our marriage.  Our anniversary has always been the highlight of our year and a time for us to give thanks to God for the gift we have in each other.

How do you make an anniversary special?  There are countless ways, but you must be flexible in your expectations and willing to work within your budget.  The key is to make a memory together.  I have recorded each year what we were able to do to celebrate, and I plan to share this list with Tom tonight as we have a romantic dinner at home (oh boy!).  Here is a sampling of what we’ve done in the past to make this day our favorite of the year:

  • First – Stayed in a friend’s mobile home in Key West for two nights and went deep-sea fishing.
  • Third – Went out to eat at a restaurant in downtown Orlando; I was 7 months pregnant.
  • Fifth – This year we did nothing; Tracy is two weeks old, but I gladly took a rain check for a more romantic evening.
  • Seventh – Tom took me to The Olive Garden restaurant.  I was 6 months pregnant.
  • Tenth – Tom surprised me by taking a Friday off without me knowing.  He arranged for a babysitter for the children.  Then, he took me to Cypress Gardens (now LegoLand) for the day and a night away at the Chalet Suzanne (closed in 2014) in Lake Wales, FL.  We ate dinner at one of our favorite pizza places, CDB’s, when we were dating.
  • Fourteenth – This year we were unable to go away due to Tom’s back surgery and lack of funds.  I decided to surprise Tom by having a romantic dinner here in front of our fireplace.  I mailed him an invitation telling him to arrive home at 6:30p.  My parents watched our children for the night.
  • Seventeenth – Tom had to go on a business trip in Tampa, FL, and I was able to go with him.  He took me out for dinner to Bern’s Steakhouse. This restaurant is extremely expensive (and we’ve never been back), but the dessert room is worth returning to for a one of a kind romantic experience.  Click here for more information!

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  • Twenty-fourth – Tom surprised me by driving to New Smyrna Beach where we walked on the beach.  Then, he cooked a delicious dinner on the grill at Bethune Park.  We listened to romantic music while watching the sunset.

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We offer this list as a way of helping other couples grow in celebrating the wonderful day that God has given us.  May we never make light of this miracle of miracles!  God alone is the source of married love and happiness, and He deserves all the credit for the years we have enjoyed.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Tom.  I love you with all my heart!

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