We talked with a couple once who had been married for over 50 years. We asked them the reason they’d made it to this milestone. The husband answered…
“She has her room and does the things she likes to do, and I have mine.”
I think many married couples learn how to tolerate each other and give the space needed to keep the peace. But is this the kind of marriage we’re hoping to build?
We can’t answer for you, but we can answer for us, and it’s a resounding, NO! We don’t want to live our latter years like two boxers who hang out in their corner of the ring and only connect when forced to by the bell.
This is why learning to communicate now about all areas of your marriage matters.
Each day we are building a home, both literally and figuratively. The figurative home is built by the choices you make. Are you building a home with lots of interior walls where you can hide? Or are you building a home without walls allowing you both to freely move about with no secrets?
We haven’t made it to 50 years yet; God-willing we will. However, our marriage today is marked by openness and transparency. Sure there are times when we do things apart, and we enjoy those times either alone or with friends. But we aren’t avoiding each other due to a lack of connectedness. We have built a home we both enjoy.
How would you answer this question? How about your spouse? Why not set aside some time in your home and talk about it. You might find there are walls you didn’t know existed.
(Click the photo above and scroll through the photos this couple took in front of their home through all the seasons they faced together. Powerful!)