Is Your Marriage Self-Insured?

Last September we took a direct hit by Hurricane Irma. Considering all the damage many experienced, ours was minimal.  It wasn’t until January when we had a week of rain that we discovered our roof was leaking. Tom called our insurance agent who said it wasn’t too late to file a claim, so he called for a claim’s adjuster to come inspect our roof. They ended up approving us for coverage!

This is the benefit of having insurance. When things go terribly wrong, disastrous even, we have secured insurance to help us through it.

In marriage there is no insurance company you can pay to protect you. There aren’t any claim’s adjusters to come out and prove you’re right and your spouse is wrong. And there aren’t any monetary incentives to help you fix things right.

However, we can provide our own insurance of sorts–like being self-insured.

When our pastor meets with an engaged couple for the first time, he always asks them what it would take for them to leave. Of course, the response is usually a denial that anything would ever do that, until he starts asking, “What if your spouse…

  • …commits adultery, physically or emotionally
  • …incurs a permanent disability
  • …is physically unable to work and provide income
  • …becomes unemployed and depressed, refusing to look for a job
  • …is still dependent on their parents more than you.
  • …has a hidden, sinful habit

As you can see there is a myriad of things that can happen in a marriage for which no one can see. But we can posture our hearts and minds to where we choose to honor our wedding vows until death parts us. I know this is difficult, sometimes even impossible, but God loves to work in the impossible realm. Then when the  miracle happens, He is the only One who gets the credit. Of course, there are valid reasons for leaving a marriage, such as unrepentant adultery, abuse and such, but that is another post for another time.

Clinging to our vows in the strength which God supplies is the best kind of insurance because it isn’t dependent on anyone else but the two of you and your submission to God. No claims adjuster has the right to say whether or not you’ll make it through the trial. Marriage is hard yet rewarding, difficult, but  enjoyable, irritating yet satisfying. Once you’ve said your I do’s, you are all in. Best to be sure your self-insurance is up-to-date. Revisit your vows and repeat them often.

“______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wife/husband, and wilt thou pledge thy faith to him/her, in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with her/him, and cherish her/him, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?”

“I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, in plenty and want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.”


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About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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