What We Didn’t Know Going In To Our Marriage

When we said our marriage vows we had no idea of what lay ahead of us.

A favorite gift from friends of the night sky the night we were married.

When we said our marriage vows we had no idea of what lay ahead of us.

We didn’t know…

  • In our first year we would move to the one city neither of us wanted to live.

  • I would face health concerns as a new bride that were frightening and hard.

  • There was unconfessed sin lurking in our hearts that would stretch our love to its limits.

  • Our first pregnancy would end in miscarriage.

  • We would struggle as Tom made a career change that involved a significant pay cut.

  • God would bless us with three children (not the two we had planned).

  • We would eventually buy the company where Tom had worked for 16 years, and where I had first worked out of high school. We didn’t know anything, but that God had united us to be one.

So many highs and lows through the years that have made US who we are today. Our marriage consists of the journey and the commitment we made when we said our vows to “be there” for each other. This is why we are passionate about seeing marriages thrive. The lows in a relationship are as important as the highs. It’s in the lows where we discover the depth of our love and commitment to each other and to God. Just like in a valley–growth occurs in the lowest places.

Maybe this Christmas you are facing a low. Our encouragement is for you to lean in to each other, don’t pull away. It’s the leaning in that allows your roots to grow deep together. But we know this is not easy. Our natural reaction is to pull away from anything that causes pain. Of course I’m not talking about abusive pain. If you are facing abuse in your marriage, whether physical or emotional seek safety and biblical counsel. The pain I’m talking about is common to all marriages. As you purpose to lean in and grow in your understanding of each other, you will discover a sweeter connection on the other side of the pain. We know this is true because we have experienced it over and over in our 40 years together.

This Christmas may you grow not only in your love for each other, but also in your commitment to your vows.

Merry Christmas from our home to yours!

About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
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