Always be kind. That’s what our parents taught us growing up. “Kindness begets kindness,” they would say. But in the heat of the moment many forget to put their kindness on display.
I remember my husband telling me about an incident at work. There was an angry customer who was lighting in to our Service Manager, not sparing her the ugliest of adjectives. In a final huff of impatience he said, “Can I talk to your supervisor?” She sent the call to Tom warning him of the storm on hold.
When Tom answered he was ready for the confrontation.
“Hello, This is Tom, can I help you?”
“What’s your position there!” the irritated man demanded.
“Well, right now I’m sitting down.”
There was a pause on the other end and then laughter. The formerly angry man said, “You got me there!” And the argument was defused. Tom was able to (masterfully in my opinion) help him by bringing resolve to the situation that had riled him up in the first place. This doesn’t always work with humor. Sometimes it takes mere kindness and lots of patience. But being on guard and ready to offer kind words will most certainly keep the fight from escalating.
Kindness does that; It cuts off the fuel that feeds the fire.
I believe this would work in marriage as well. It takes two to fight, and if one of you comes to the table with kindness it might rewrite your typical ending. Of course this is only possible by allowing the Lord to work on your heart. Ask Him for help in controlling the angry outbursts. You may be surprised at how sufficient His grace is for you in your time of weakness. After all, it is a promise!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.