Have you ever noticed that if something is bothering you in your marriage it’s all you can think about or see?
Tom uses an illustration that is so helpful…
Take a credit card and hold it in your hand. Stretch out your arm straight in front of you. Notice how you can see the card and everything else in your periphery. It’s there, but not all you see. Now take the same credit card and hold it close in front of your nose. Notice how there isn’t much else you can see except this giant credit card. This is how an issue becomes the longer it goes unaddressed. It becomes all you can see.
Now the question must be asked. When thinking of your relationship what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Is it a positive or a negative? If it’s a negative, have you talked to your spouse about it? If you haven’t, then make plans asap to do so. If you have and still haven’t come to a resolve, it’s not going to go away. It will grow bigger in your eyes the longer it remains.
Seek help, either in person or through resources that you trust–like blogs, podcasts or books.
Too many marriages ignore the issues or are unable to resolve them and give up. Don’t be surprised that there are unresolved problems–this is the reality all marriages face. What makes the difference between a marriage that’s growing closer or drifting apart is how you deal together with the issues that seek to separate you.
Is it easy? No. Nothing worth doing well is ever easy. It takes a commitment to stay the course no matter how challenging it becomes.
Is it worth it? Yes! Tom and I just celebrated the 43rd anniversary of when he proposed to me.
We were just talking about how on that day we had no idea of all that lay ahead of us. We have faced hardships from without and conflict from within, and all of them could have been the end of our marriage. But because we stayed intent on working out our struggles, not running away from them, we are in a place in our marriage that takes our breath away. Marriage is hard, but marriage is good.
Take the marriage test and find out where you need to study more. We’re here for you if you need help.