As I’m writing this post, the leaves are falling at my feet with cool temperatures and sunny skies. It is a perfect picture of a crisp, fall day in the mountains. But the scenery doesn’t matter when it comes to having a good and meaningful conversation. That’s the blessing of marriage. Any time is the right time if you’re both wanting to learn and grow.

Remember when you were first married, the excitement, the joy, the realization that your life would always be lived out together? I love the memories Tom and I have made with each passing year. Not all of them are happy times remembered, but difficult times that helped transform how we related to each other. We were changed for the good of our marriage. Even the most painful memories taught us hard, but good things.

Maybe you’re in the doldrums waiting for something to spark the same intimacy you once had. Maybe you’re in a season of seeing your dreams fall apart. Or maybe you just haven’t given your marriage much thought because of your busy schedules.

Questions are always a good way to help us through these seasons.

Our pastor and his wife recently celebrated their anniversary. He shared with our church a question they discussed while away. It is so good I wrote it down. I encourage you to set aside a night next week to sit together and answer this question yourselves.

What in your marriage is the same as it was when you got married? What is different?

Such a good question that can lead to all kinds of special memories and blessings. Or it may reveal areas that neither of you realized needed attention.

Good questions are like Fall leaves. They cause us to slow down and take in the beauty there is in our history. Or they may reveal the things of which we need to let go.

Either way we must see this as a way forward, setting our eyes on the good that will come.