We had a conversation with a young husband and father whom we have known since he was born. It was one of those talks where both of us were being encouraged; we were encouraging him with the gift God has given him and the numerous ways he has been faithful with it; and he was encouraging us for sharing our life’s history with honesty and humility.

Even though he was alive for much of the stories we shared, he was a child. Now as an adult, it was as if he was hearing it for the first time.

But yesterday he said something that made us ask him to say it again. It was a quote from Yoda, of Star Wars fame.

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

He used it as an example of how it has transformed his marriage and parenting. He said recently he was angry with his kids, and it seemed a good reason. But then he asked himself, “What am I afraid of?” He realized he was afraid they would get hurt. It opened up an honest conversation with his teens that gave him a chance to repent, but also for them to understand the heart of their father’s love.

Powerful, this is! As Yoda would say in his unique way.

We share this to help us name our anger when conflicts arise. If it started from fear there is more to be discovered than just anger. This is how we grow in our understanding of what motivates arguments, which leads to understanding, which leads to more intimacy.

On the Goalcast website I found this quote interesting…

“Inspiration doesn’t always have to come from real-life people. We often find ourselves inspired by characters that live in the realms of the books we read, the movies we watch, the games we play…

“And while our beloved characters may have stemmed from their author’s vision, they are often anchored in real-life experiences and bear the wisdom of the person that served as inspiration for the character. Most great stories have a message that transcends into real life, passing on valuable lessons from complex and wise characters. Who better than Yoda to stand as proof of that?”

Have you ever thought of naming your anger to see from where it stems? It may just help take your marriage to a deeper level of intimacy.

_____________________________

Welcome to our new subscribers. If you would like to receive our posts via email as well, simply sign up for our Blog. We are grateful you are pursuing how to help your marriage grow. May God bless your efforts.

Have a great week,

Tom and Debi ❤️❤️