We have found an excellent comparison chart giving a detailed overview of 30 books on the topic of marriage. Most of the ones listed are books we recommend in our Best Cellars Room. We thought this free chart would help you in picking one that will help you currently in your marriage. Take some time to browse the list – afterall, it’s FREE! Simply CLICK HERE to access the site.
Have a great weekend!
We have been taught a simple way to quickly evaluate how you’re doing with loving your spouse using Scripture as the standard. Simply take 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and replace the word “love” with your name. If any of these make you wence there’s a good chance you need to work on that area of your relationship. This exercise isn’t to make you feel condemned, but encouraged to cry out to God for help in saying “no” to these sinful responses replacing them with loving ones. God’s grace is sufficient!
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Posted by Debi
This week we’re highlighting the letter “H” for our Alphabet Date night ideas. We hope you’re enjoying the variety and selections so far. I must admit, we’ve enjoyed doing the research. Who knew there were so many great things to do on a date night?
“H” Activities:
Holy Land Experience – we have never been, but it seems like a fun date to try.
“Half-sies” – Enjoy an evening of “halves”. Eat somewhere for 1/2 off, or cook at home with half servings like half a calzone or pizza. Eat on paper plates that have been cut in half, if you’re home alone – try coming half-dressed to dinner! Serve drinks half full (or half empty if you’re a pessimist). That should get you started – anything that can be halved will work!
Historical Museum – check out you’re local historical museum. They’ll often have special evening events. Orlando has a wonderful museum – click here to learn more; be sure to check out their events calendar for some great date night ideas.
Hockey – If it’s in season, this is an action-packed evening.
Hiking – make plans to explore one of the many trails available in your area. Be sure to pack a great picnic – see Food section for ideas.
Hitchcock movies – the master of suspense films, Alfred Hitchcock is sure to provide great opportunities to cuddle close on the couch!
Hontoon Island State Park – this is for Orlando readers. This park offers pontoon boat rentals for the day. They also have cottages for rent that are being offered at buy one night get one free.
Honeymoon – take that 2nd honeymoon or relive your first one.
Horse-back riding – for our Orlando readers, click the link. For all others simply google horse back riding in your area.
“H” Food:
Hawaiian Themed dinner – at home or go to a luau. If at home, rent a video exploring the islands of Hawaii to watch.
Hungry Howie’s – perfect for the half-sie pizzas.
Hershey’s candy
Honey-baked Ham Store – they sell boxed lunches to go – perfect for an afternoon hiking the trail.
“H” Special Touches:
Hallmark cards – send your spouse a special Hallmark card announcing your “H” date.
Hold hands – check out our post about this romantic practice
Honor your spouse – write a letter pointing out specifically what you respect about them.
“H” flowers – hibiscus, honeysuckle, heather.
Help with the Housework when it’s not expected.
We have been blessed with two more grandbabies in the last two weeks. Needless to say, life is busy. As a result we’re taking the next two days off from blogging. Check back on Wednesday when our Alphabet Date night ideas continue.
In the meantime, spend some time browsing through our various rooms. There are many features offered of which you may not be aware.
This week purpose to give your spouse the gift of time to do with as they wish. How often life becomes so busy we neglect time alone for ourselves. Now we’re not talking about selfishly pursuing me, me, me, to the neglect of our God given responsibilities, but all of us need from time to time our own TIME.
It can be an hour, half a day or a full day – whatever your schedule will allow. The point is to give this precious gift to your spouse as a way of thanking them for the many times they have sacrificed for you and your family. We would love to hear from you – how you spent your FREE time.
Believe it or not, I haven’t felt very romantic lately. Disappointments, unexpected news, interruptions, sickness, accidents – Life! It happens to all of us at one time or another. For some it can seem like a revolving door of trouble. Who feels like romance then? Certainly not me – that is left to myself.
This is why we must have a conviction of pursuing our spouses romantically, so we won’t be led by the urgent. Instead we will commit our lives to that which is most important. Circumstances are ever changing; Children grow up and move away; Jobs and addresses change; But for all our days in this life our spouses will be there “for better or worse”.
Romance isn’t only for the “better” days. It is actually more meaningful on the worst of days. It has been my experience whenever Tom and I are facing huge difficulties in our relationship, the simple act of him lighting a candle and drawing a hot bath for me carries much more meaning than when all is fine in our world. Why? Because I know this time he is loving me even when I don’t deserve it. How like our Savior this is – at our worst He pursued us and loved us. And it’s moments like these that my defenses drop and my heart is drawn to my husband despite my feelings.
Romance isn’t only about planning great dates (although we love this part of it). It’s about expressing love to one another in the midst of a busy life – the good, the bad and the ugly!
Last week I thoroughly enjoyed all that Tom planned for my “F” date weekend. I turned “F”ifty, so he took it on himself to plan all my “F”avorites. It was a wonderful time “F”illed with “F”antastic memories! So, we encourage you to take advantage of these Alphabet Dates – there’s something for every budget and every interest. And if you don’t live in Central Florida – use these ideas to search out things in your neck of the woods!
“G” Activities:
Geocaching – a great outdoor adventure that requires a GPS. Warning – once you start you may become addicted – it’s that much fun!
Golf – regular, if you play or miniature for a great game.
Gin Rummy – any version you choose – make up your own prizes.
Game Night – plan an entire evening playing your favorite board game. Or take your spouse to Gator’s to watch the game!
Kenny “G” – Rent a concert DVD or simply listen to his CD while your bask in the glow of your spouse’s gaze.
“G” Food:
Greek Cuisine – What a perfect, romantic meal. Make your own at home or find a great local Greek restaurant nearby.
Grill out dinner – guys this is your chance to bless your wife without making a mess in the kitchen!
Ghiradelli Chocolate – you have a choice of making brownies at home…eating chocolate bars, or if there’s one nearby visiting their Chocolate Soda Fountain.
Georgia On My Mind – Enjoy an evening of Georgia cuisine and finish watching Gone With The Wind.
“G” Special Touches:
Write your spouse a “Gratitude Letter”. Spend some time thinking of all the things you’re grateful for, write them down in letter form and then plan an evening where you can read it aloud to them.
Flowers – Geraniums, Gerber Daisies, Gladiolas.
Goody Basket – make your spouse a goody basket before your date. Plan to go to a quiet, secluded place to enjoy presenting them with their very own goodies. It can be personal items just for them, or filled with their favorites to enjoy together
Please Note – several of these ideas could be combined to make one “G”reat date night! For instance, write your gratitude letter, put together a goody basket, take a drive and find a place to park, listen to Kenny G while you enjoy the evening in “G”rand style.
…why God doesn’t just make your relationship better overnight?
What happens in the messiness of relationships is that our hearts are revealed, our weaknesses are exposed, and we start coming to the end of ourselves. Only when this happens do we reach out for the help God alone can provide. Weak and needy people finding their hope in Christ’s grace are what mark a mature relationship. The most dangerous aspect of your relationships is not your weakness, but your delusions of strength. Self-reliance is almost always a component of a bad relationship. While we would like to avoid the mess and enjoy deep and intimate community, God says that it is in the very process of working through the mess that intimacy is found. Which relationships are most meaningful to you? Most likely they are the ones that involved working through difficulty and hardship.
The fact that our relationships work as well as they do is a sure sign of grace!
Paul David Tripp and Tim Lane collaborated together on this excellent book, Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. Above is only a small taste of the rich truths and practical wisdom available to all who find themselves in close relationships with others.
What more important relationship is there than the one between a husband and wife? Certainly all marriages experience “messes”, but I don’t know if we consider them worth it. Left to our own way of thinking most of us would prefer no mess at all; yet here is where growth occurs.
We invite you to add this excellent book to your collection of “must reads”. You’ll find its worth it!
Since it’s so hot in Florida this time of year…outdoor dates aren’t the most enjoyable, not to mention the risk of cancellations due to weather. So, we thought we’d offer some great places to enjoy America’s favorite cold treat – ice cream:
Or you might like to try making your own ice cream at home to enjoy together – here is a collection of recipes to try!
There aren’t many special events happening in O-town this week. Below are a couple you might find interesting, if not try browsing our Vintage Collection Room located at the top of the blog. You’ll find lots of ideas there for your date night this week! Most important of all, plan time alone with your spouse during this week, even if it’s at home!
Monday, July 20
Redwing Blackbird Ragtime Band – Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 7p. Concert tickets: $26 – 37. Audiences will delight in this program of original “turn of the century” Ragtime Band arrangements including Rags, Waltzes, Marches, Gallops – Alá Scott Joplin – Set in the 1920’s. Sponsored by The Orlando Philharmonic.
Saturday, July 25
Village Park Farmers Market – The Village At Hunters Creek, Kissimmee. The market is open from 10a – 1p and the cost is FREE. 407-333-7700
This week we want to share with you a great opportunity to see the movie “Fireproof”. It’s being shown free of charge at Metro Life Church’s Summer Film Festival. If you haven’t seen this movie yet – it’s a must for all married couples. If you have, what a great opportunity to see it again at no cost. Fireproof Your Marriage has been the most popular series on our blog so far; proof that the message this movie offers is worth your time.
YOU’RE INVITED!
Fireproof, the movie
When: Saturday, July 18th
Where: Metro Life Church (view map)
Time: 7:00 – 10:00p
It’s a long held debate whether or not old vines truly do make the best wines, and how many years qualifies a vine for the term “old”. Some say at least 50 years or more, others say over 25 is long enough! What is most interestingly true though, the older the vines the more precious the fruit. When a wine receives the label “old vines” the consumer anticipates a mature and rewarding experience.
How like marriage this metaphor is!
I remember when my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary we realized that all of us sitting around the table with them had many years of marriage ourselves: My sister and her husband had been married 24 years, both my brother and his wife as well as Tom and I had been married 18 years, and my Dad’s brother and his wife had been married 56 years! That’s 166 combined years of marriage represented in only 5 couples! What a legacy for our children and grandchildren. What an unusual occurence in this day and age.
Who in your life has demonstrated a marriage of longevity? Let’s take some time and honor them here on this blog for committing their lives to each other and their marriage. Let’s celebrate the precious fruit of their tried and true vines by placing a well-earned label of excellence by their names. We’ll go first – you can follow by commenting to this post and we’ll add your names to the list!
John Newton is the author of the famous song, Amazing Grace, and the subject of a movie with the same title. His story is one of redemption and worth emulating in our own lives. We recently came across this letter he wrote to his wife chronicling their life and history together. What a powerful testimony of what God intends marriage to be – may our marriages be strengthened as the years pass and “old age creeps in upon us!”
August 6, 1785
My dear wife,
The Lord has preserved us through a long course of years, and in different situations, from various calamities which have overtaken others. Our obligations to thankfulness are singular and numerous…How many changes have we seen!
Under how many trials have we been supported!
How many deliverances have we known!
How many comforts have we enjoyed!
Especially, what great advantages have we possessed, in knowing those things which pertain to our everlasting peace!
The years we have passed together–will return no more. The afflictions are gone, the pleasures likewise are gone, forever. The longer we live, such pleasures as this world can afford, will, more and more, lose their power of pleasing. Only our love, I trust, will exist and flourish to the end of life–yes, beyond it! It will always be a truth, that the Lord, in giving you to me–gave me the best temporal desire of my heart. But the shadows of the evening advance. Old age is creeping in upon us, and the days are approaching when we shall have no pleasure–but what we can derive from the good Word of God, and the consolations of his Holy Spirit. These, if we are favored with them, will sufficiently compensate for the abatement, or the loss, of all the rest. The streams may run dry–but the fountain of living waters will always flow! May His presence be near our hearts–and then all will be well. (provided through Grace Gems)
Our Alphabet Date Night Challenge continues this week with the letter “F”. Of course this is the week to have Fun, Fun, Fun!
“F” Activities:
Fishing – plan a fishing trip from a dock, on a lake or deep sea fishing.
Floating – buy an inexpensive float and spend an afternoon on the water floating together. There are local water parks that offer lazy rivers or go to a local spring where floating is allowed: Rock Springs at Kelly Park (Apopka), Ichatucknee River State Park (Gainesville)
Florida – celebrate living in the Sunshine State with all things Florida – oranges, alligators, Disney, whatever reminds you of Florida! Start this on off by sending your spouse a Florida postcard announcing your next alphabet date!
Follow The Leader – this is a “F”un game that can be played either around town, like a scavenger hunt – or in the home doing whatever your spouse does. If you’re creative…this one can be great FFFun!
Flea and/or Farmer’s Market – Visit a local farmer’s market. Many of them have adjoining flea markets to browse through as well. Make a day of it!
Florida Mall – If you haven’t been here in a while – why not spend the evening walking and talking as you stroll through the expansive mall. You might even try dinner in the Food Court!
“F” Food:
First Watch – a great restaurant with several locations around Central Florida. They serve breakfast, brunch and lunch only.
Fondue – The Melting Pot is a great celebration restaurant, or you can make your own fondue at home.
Friendly’s Restaurants – A great place for specialty ice cream treats! Or how about a Root Beer Float?
Fresh Market – go shopping together for specialty food at this unique market. Take it home and cook together. Locations in Altamonte Springs on on Dr. Phillips Road.
Flip Flops – a new restaurant in New Smyrna Beach. The owner won the recent Hell’s Kitchen competition.
“F” Special Touches:
Flowers – buy a bouquet of fresh flowers.
Fire – enjoy an evening by the fire. There are several restaurants that offer lounges with fireplaces or pits where you can enjoy appetizers in a cozy corner. Consider: Houston’s (alfresco – lakeside), Bahama Breeze, or the new Johnnie’s Hideaway in the Crossroads Shopping Center, Lake Buena Vista. Can’t go out? Then make use of inexpensive tiki torches outside, or tea light candles indoors.
Favorites – make a list of all your spouses favorite things and spend an entire evening enjoying them.
Foot Massage – all you need is a pair of willing hands, baby oil and a tub of warm water! Click the link to learn how to do this well.
Facial – arrange for your spouse to have a facial massage – check local day spas for pricing.
NOTE: Although it is our goal to provide lots of ideas…this is only a springboard to get you started with your own ideas. Think of one worth sharing? Please use the comment feature located above the picture!
We are in a season of busyness and change – our third granddaughter was born Thursday, July 9th, and once again we’re having to adjust to a new normal. In only a few more days…our first grandson will arrive as well! What a blessing children and grandchildren are, but with each addition there can be added stress to the marriage relationship. We must prepare ourselves for the coming changes; and as husbands it’s our primary responsibility to lead the charge!
I am reminded that the best way I can love my wife during this time is to have no expectations for myself. Instead, I must seek to lay my life down for her. She is needed – greatly needed right now by our daughters. In order to show my love and affection to her in this time I must give her the freedom to serve them and be there for them. In doing so, I’ve found our love grows stronger as a result.
1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Love does not insist on its own way.”
Let’s ask ourselves – are we insisting on our own way? If so, make this the primary discussion on your next date night. Be willing to repent and ask forgiveness, for then, God’s grace will come pouring in like a flood washing away all selfish expectations!
Posted by Tom
Before we offer this week’s events, we thought we’d help those who are tired of the same old restaurants. Below is a list of several places that are reasonably priced and worth discovering in areas you may have never visited:
Thursday, July 16th
Uptown Altamonte hosts Streetmosphere, Russian-born members of CirqueMosphere perform magic, mime, juggling and balancing. The cost is FREE.
Friday, July 17th
Friday Night Live at Uptown Altamonte – this week’s artist is acoustic rock artist Ed Self. Performance is from 7p – 9p. Cost is FREE.
Saturday, July 18th
Lakeridge Winery in Clermont is hosting their Summer Music Series. Hours are 1p – 4p and the cost is FREE. Food and drinks are available for purchase.
Jazz Jams Uptown Altamonte – Rico Monaco and Sol Sons will be performing at the Eddie Rose Ampitheater from 7p – 10p. The cost is FREE.
SPECIAL BONUS: Be the first to tell us where the picture above was taken, and you’ll receive a special gift. Simply use the comment feature with your name and e-mail address. We’ll contact you if you’re the winner.
Did you know it pays to “Buy Local”? Orlando is offering a free discount card that provides tons of discount savings in our local market. The one we find the most valuable is 50% off the admission price to a movie at the new Plaza Cinema Cafe. Tom surprised me with a date night there this week, and I didn’t even know it existed! The theater, located in the heart of downtown Orlando on Orange Avenue, offers large, comfortably padded seats that rock, as well as large arm rests that double as tables for the large variety of foods available for purchase. This is by far my favorite movie theater. It’s a place where you can enjoy dinner and a movie! They also have an on site parking garage. The theater will validate your parking ticket for up to three (3) hours free if you bring it with you.
The Buy Local Card is free – just go the their website and click “print your own” under the consumers section. You can also scroll through all the merchants that participate in offering discounts to card holders by clicking HERE.
Happy Dating!
We’ve found the perfect spot. It’s called Relax Grill, and it’s conveniently located right on Lake Eola by the Swan Boat rentals. They are nestled under the trees for plenty of shade during the day, and romantically lit at night providing the perfect atmosphere for a great date.
On Thursdays they show an outdoor movie. Simply give them a call to discover the weekly feature presentation. Have some extra time? Be sure to stroll around the beautiful lake…proof positive why Orlando is known as “The City Beautiful!”
In case you’re joining us mid-series…we are taking one letter of the alphabet each week and offering ideas for a wonderful date night built around that letter. You can do this once a week for 26 weeks of great dates – or you can spread it out over a year with two dates a month. Either way, these ideas cover the gamut of things to do. Join us each Wednesday for the next letter.
“E” ACTIVITIES:
Early Bird – Go to dinner where an early bird special is offered.
Evening on the East Coast – Take an evening drive to the beach and walk together under the stars.
Efficiency – Surprise your spouse and rent an efficiency at the beach for a room to relax in after your walk on the beach.
Eight Ball – go to a local sports bar and play a few rounds of pool.
Eiffel Tower – plan an evening with a Parisian theme (July 14th is Bastille Day – a great reason to celebrate this great landmark!)
Eternal City – plan an evening with a Roman theme.
“E” Movies – Here are a few classics: Elf, Emma, Ever After, The Elephant Man, The Last Emperor
Play Euchre – a card game that’s lots of fun!
Electric Slide – learn how to do this line dance together.
“E” FOOD:
The Elephant Bar Restaurant – Altamonte Springs
Enzo’s on the Lake – Casselberry
Foods to Try making yourself or ordering out – Eggplant Parmesan, Eggs, Escargo (great for your Eiffel Tower Parisian Dinner)
Emiliano’z – an authentic Mexican restaurant with great atmosphere. In cooler weather their outdoor porch overlooking Pearl Lake is perfect!
Eclairs – a perfect dessert!
“E” SPECIAL TOUCHES:
Encourage your spouse by making a list of all the Evidences of God’s grace you currently see in them
Express – Send them a special gift “Federal Express” (Fedex).
Eucalyptus – this aromatic plant provides a relaxing scent and is available dried for floral arrangements or as an oil to add to a hot bath.
Earl Grey Tea – have a hot eucalyptus bath drawn for your spouse and serve them this delightful tea to unwind after a hard day.
Eyes and Ears – soothe their eyes with a cool eye mask, and ears with the sounds of easy listening jazz artists like “Ella Fitzgerald” or “Etta James”.
In their excellent book, Sweethearts For A Lifetime, Wayne A. and Carol Mack share the following practical helps to make Christ preeminent in our marriages:
A right relationship with God does not just happen. It is something that must be carefully cultivated, actively pursued, and stubbornly protected…it requires making an investment of time and effort.
You can do many other things to make Christ preeminent in your marriage:
- Get involved in common ministries.
- Find ways to serve the Lord together.
- Purchase and read good biblical literature that will provide food for your soul
- Listen to edifying CD’s in the car, whether it be preaching, teaching or good Christian music.
- Attend conferences that are spiritually challenging and encouraging.
- Keep a common prayer list with your mate and set aside time to pray together.
- Develop relationships with other godly people, especially couples.
Make it your aim to spend more time with godly people who will challenge you, mentor you, support you, and encourage you than with people who will merely entertain you
As Christians, we should all be involved in three kinds of relationships. We should have relationships with people who are more mature in Christ than we are so that we can learn from them. We should also have relationships with people who are on basically the same level as we are so that we are both giving and taking equally in the relationship and holding each other accountable. And we should have relationships with those who are less mature in Christ than we are so that we can serve them and help them to grow.
This is wise counsel and by God’s grace something we have practiced for most of our marriage. The benefits have been incalculable and the relationships rich and rewarding. So, who are your three primary relationships? You may have more than one in each category, but you should have at least one. Husbands, it is our primary responsibility to lead in this area. Please don’t delegate this to your wife to pursue. I challenge you to begin right away in order to establish your commitment to become sweethearts for a lifetime!
Posted by Tom
NOTE: Be sure to join us tomorrow as we continue our Alphabet Date Ideas – tomorrow we’ll explore the letter “E”!
The Dog Days of Summer began on July 3rd and last until August 11th. Forty days in all, it’s considered the hottest part of the season. However, romance should not take a back seat just because its hot outside. Why not purpose to celebrate these “Dog Days” with some red hot romance? Here are some things happening this week to get you started:
Thursday, July 9th
Alive After Five – Downtown Sanford’s monthly hot spot takes place the 2nd Thursday of the month from 5p – 9p. There are special artists featured each month as well as a Main Stage with live music. The cost is only $5 per person and buys you free food and drinks offered at different locations.
Popcorn Flicks In The Park – This month’s feature movie is Superman II. Showtime is 8:30; the movie and the popcorn are always FREE. Don’t forget to pack some snacks and bring your own chairs!
Friday, July 10th
Friday Night Live – Uptown Altamonte offers free entertainment around Crane’s Roost Park each Friday night from 7p – 9p. FREE
The Mt. Dora Art Stroll – A festive evening of art, music and appetizers make a drive to this lazy town a worthwhile trip. Cost is FREE.
Saturday, July 11th
Summer Music Series – Lakeridge Winery is offering live music, food and drinks, as well as tours of their beautiful vineyard each Sunday in July. Admission is FREE.
Sunday, July 12th
Music At The Casa – Casa Feliz Historic Home and Museum offers free concerts each Sunday afternoon from 12 – 3 during the month of July. This week’s artist is Vanessa Vache with the Opus 5 Woodwind Quintet. Admission is FREE and tours of the home are included.
The Romantic Vineyard 