Sharing Musts For A Healthy Marriage 4

We have been posting about “sharing musts” for the past few Sundays. Some of you probably think these are all givens, but to those who haven’t given much thought about it – we are making sure these are understood. Far too many marriages find out too late that they never completely shared their life together as husband and wife.

So far we’ve talked about:

Vacations and Dreams

A Bed and Burdens

Passwords and Our Bodies

Our next Sharing Must is:


It may seem like a small thing, but the habits you form early on in your marriage will have a lasting effect on the quality of your relationship. It is important to set aside time each day to connect as a couple, as a family. And one of the best ways to do this is around the dinner table. Set guidelines for what time dinner will be served and where it will be served. Be consistent in these two things and the routine will soon be a rich well from which to draw daily. Make this your time to download the events of the day, to talk about your joys and challenges. If you have children use this time to engage them in the conversation as well. Time will pass so quickly you will be glad for the memories you’ve made around the dinner table. We have a saying on the wall in our dining room that reads:

“The fondest memories are made when gathered around the table.”

Start making your own memories by turning off the television. Set aside cell phones and connect on a personal level without using technology as a crutch. You will be surprised at how relaxing supper can be as you purpose to make it special.

Here are nine tips to help you begin incorporating a Family Dinner in your home. Take time to read these and see how many you may already be doing. It’s not as hard as it may seem, it simply requires taking the first steps towards change.

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This can be a hot topic in many marriages, but it doesn’t have to be. There is always work which needs to be done around the house. And there is always someone who would rather not have to do it. Granted, if one spouse works outside of the home and the other spouse stays home much of the time, the majority of the household chores will fall on the one who is home. However, if the spouse who isn’t home most of the time expects the other spouse to do it all all of the time, then this is wrong. We both own the home (or rent if this is the case),  so both are ultimately responsible to keep the home neat, clean and in good repair.

The best way to think of it is how would Christ handle the chores in the home. One scripture comes to mind: “Christ came not to be served, but to serve.” Is this your mindset when it comes to daily chores?

Some couples work out a schedule of who is responsible for what chore. This is a great way to keep the responsibilities clear, so there are no misunderstandings. Some couples take turns with different tasks – one week they may do the dishes, the next week they may do the laundry. The key is to discover what works best in your situation. Never make assumptions when it comes to daily chores. Talk about expectations and desires. Talk about what you could do around the house to bless your spouse. Ask them if there is anything you aren’t doing that your spouse is wishing you would.

There is one chore I have never cared for and that is scrubbing the shower. So Tom has always done this one for me. I never asked him to, he simply started doing it, and I am very grateful. Our rule pretty much is if it needs to be done and you have the time at the moment to do it – then do it.

There are times when I didn’t do what I should have done in the day. And there are times when Tom puts off doing what he could have done. We all succumb to laziness and procrastination from time to time. If we are working on the chores together around the house, then the other spouse can lovingly help by picking up the slack. This is one practical way we can love and support one another.

What about you? Do you have family meals together? Have you discovered a plan to help divvy up the chores? What works for you? We’d love to hear.


This is post #23 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in October.

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6 Responses to Sharing Musts For A Healthy Marriage 4

  1. Vanessa says:

    We do not have a traditional sit around the table lifestyle, but, we do share all of our meals together. As far as chores we have grown to accept that we both live in this house and both are responsible for its upkeep. My husband will do dishes, mop floors, run laundry, etc. It’s a blessing.


    • Debi Walter says:

      Yes, what a blessing it is, Vanessa, to have a husband who is willing to do anything to show his love for you – and it goes both ways. I’m sure he feels blessed to have you. Thanks for commenting!


  2. Very informative post. Now that the children are no longer at home, we take most of our meals cuddled together on the couch. It works for us. As far as chores, we have an interesting and amusing dilemma. We are both disabled and have issues with fatigue, so we both rush to do chores so the other doesn’t have to. The goal is to keep the other from suffering any more than they have to, but usually ends with us wearing ourselves out trying to take care of each other. LOL God bless.


    • Debi Walter says:

      Dena, What a testimony to “outdoing one another in showing acts of kindness.” Thank you for sharing!


  3. Alicia says:

    Lovely post. We try to have a meal together every day, not always possible (my husband works the weekends), but when we do it’s a nice conversation around the table.

    As for chores – my hubby won’t wash the dishes unless I am sick in bed, but he does other stuff around the house. We are playing on our strengths – I really love doing dishes, not so much vacuuming, so there it is – he’s cleaning the house and I clean the dishes 🙂 On the other hand – I don’t care too much of taking the car into service, so he’ll do that for me.


  4. Pingback: Sharing Musts For A Healthy Marriage 5 | The Romantic Vineyard

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