3 Types of Boredom in Marriage

Photo Credit: dailymail

We heard recently of a study conducted in Canada of 88 married couples. They were asked to write down words to describe the current state of their relationship. The majority of the words indicated boredom to one degree or another.

Boredom is common, but it is serious. It may indicate an area lacking attention. Oftentimes one spouse is bored and the other isn’t, and it is more likely to be the woman than the man. The one who isn’t may not even realize the boredom crouching at the door of their marriage. They may be comfortable with life as it is.

If this is you, and your spouse often shares their dissatisfaction or boredom in an area of your marriage–let this be a huge red flag!

It should not be ignored.

Sadly, many marriages end because the boredom becomes too much, and they seek companionship and adventure with someone else.

Let this not be us!

How do we cure boredom in marriage? Ask God to show you what area of your marriage is causing this sense of boredom in your heart? Then go after it! Here are a few to consider:

  • Bored with Romance and Fun (Soul)
  • Bored with Communication (Mind)
  • Bored with Sex (Body)

We will talk about these three types of boredom beginning tomorrow. We hope you’ll come back and join the conversation.

In which of the three areas listed above would you most likely be tempted to boredom? Have you realized this before? What have you done to counter the temptation?

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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10 Responses to 3 Types of Boredom in Marriage

  1. tracie gadd says:

    WOW!! i cannot wait to read the follow up to this over the next few days!! Maybe several days! I think for myself, boredom would come first w/the mind – communication is extremely important to me. I want to share all aspects of my partners life. . I want to hear all about their day at work, what’s going on in the lives of their freinds, family etc. Of course, I want to share all of that detail with him, too. My honey is always telling me that he wants us to be best friends. I think that sharing all that detail is one of the key elements to being best friends. The next 2 are totally a toss up for me. They both are important & I’m not sure which one of the 2 I would give priority. Intimacy in marriage is so very very important. But then so is going out and just ‘being’ together and enjoying each others company. Relaxing and laughing because let’s face it, life is hard!

    God bless you!

    Tracie

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    • Debi Walter says:

      Tracie,
      You are so right in realizing the importance of communication in marriage. We are supposed to share everything we have and are with our spouse, since we are one flesh. It’s finding the balance that is crucial. Glad you’re joining us in discovering the answers to marital boredom.
      Blessings,
      Debi

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  2. portia says:

    yoh….i dont believe this,you described my marriage in full thats the way it is right now and we are a young couple and mostly the cause is me.cant wait for a follow up.thank you,you really touched my heart deeeply.

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    • Debi Walter says:

      Portia,
      We are glad you are finding our series helpful. Boredom is so very damaging to a healthy marriage. We pray our posts will help you find the answers you need to go after it in your own marriage.
      Blessings,
      Debi

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  3. Victoria says:

    My husband is always gone. This hits on how I feel because none of these things are being fulfilled. Boredom may hit on the problem, I don’t know. I am looking forward to reading the rest of this series.

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  4. Victoria says:

    I suspect that my husband is having an emotional “fling” with a female colleague of his. He will not heed my warnings that she is looking for more than just friendship and INSISTS that she is just a friend, however they have lunch together every other day and discuss intimate family details, which I am not comfortable with her knowing. I have recently found out where her husband works and where to contact him, but I’m not sure whether I should do that or not. My husband is adamant that I cannot tell him who to be friends with and who not, and will not heed my request to end their friendship. Please help?????

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    • Debi Walter says:

      Victoria,
      We are so sorry to hear of your situation. If you are a Christian, know that God is near to the broken-hearted and will lead you and guide you as you trust in Him. A helpful site we’ve come to know and trust is the Affaircare blog. They offer a post titled, 7 Steps You Can Take To End An Affair that we believe will help you know your options. We encourage you to pray over this list and see what God says to you.
      We have watched God completely heal marriages on the brink of destruction due to an affair. This is not beyond His ability to do. We’re praying you sense His help and comfort as you walk this very painful road.
      Tom and Debi

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  5. Adam's Eve says:

    I definitely am tempted to be bored with our communication. My husband is NOT a natural communicator and I love talking. It is something that we struggle with in our marriage – communicating effectively and knowing what to communicate about and what we can just let go. We have to be intentional about setting aside time to talk.

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  6. Celine says:

    To sum it up, mine is a marriage of boredom, i don’t remember any fun in it, and the boredom is digging deeper and deeper!!!

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