Bored With Romance

Romantic expressions are usually at their highest during courtship and diminish greatly after marriage. Many believe romance isn’t as necessary as it once was. Others believe it isn’t as important as it once was. We disagree with both views.

Romance is what adds the fun and adventure to an otherwise predictable routine.

It doesn’t replace it. Marriage can’t stand alone on it, but it is an important part of a healthy marriage. And this is often the first thing lacking when a marriage becomes boring.

Romantic expressions to one couple may be as simple as a thoughtful card, helping with chores unexpectedly, or going out to dinner so you don’t have to cook or clean the mess. But it can also include a regular date night, a weekend getaway when the budget allows for it, or a surprise vacation to a place of your dreams.

I love to plan romantic surprises for Tom.

And he loves it when I do. One of the best surprises I ever pulled off took a lot of stealth planning on my part. 🙂 I enjoyed the planning and the anticipation of his response as much as the actual surprise.

I had an idea, but I needed the help of his boss’ wife. I needed to secure a babysitter for overnight. And I needed the money to pay for the surprise. I had to start planning for it way in advance so I could save the money without Tom missing it. Since I stayed at home full-time with our three small children, the only way I could save extra money was through having garage sales and savings from my grocery budget.

Once I had saved enough money to pay for a night away at a nice hotel, I got to work on the other factors. A dear friend agreed to watch all three children and Tom’s boss’ wife whom I’ll call “J”, worked out a perfect plan with me.

Here’s how it went down:

J asked Tom if he would mind taking a part out to one of their technicians at 3p. on a Friday afternoon. He was told to drop it off at the hotel’s front desk and also to collect a check from Gladys, since the customer didn’t have an account with them. He agreed to go, but reluctantly because traffic can be terrible in that part of town on a Friday afternoon.

Once he arrived he went to the hotel desk and asked for Gladys. The clerk handed Tom a sealed envelope saying this was the check to open it and make sure the amount was right. When he opened the envelope there was a note from me with a key to our room.

I must tell you, he was a bit taken back by the key at first thinking Gladys had something else in mind for payment! 🙂 Once he read the note in my handwriting he saw it was signed by “Gladys” aka Debi! He met me in the room a bit more flushed than I expected, but it was so worth it.

He still talks about this as being one of his favorite surprises. It cost me about $100 to pull this off, but the lasting memory and the smile it brings to us both was priceless.

As you know, we devote our time on this blog and through our church helping couples come up with creative ways to keep the romance alive in marriage. It is important and will help you enjoy your relationship in fresh and new ways.

When was the last time you enjoyed a really romantic time together? A romantic surprise? A romantic anything? Plan to do something special this month and see if your relationship doesn’t benefit. You will most likely feel a bit awkward if you haven’t done this in awhile, but don’t let this stop you. Your marriage is worth it!

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in Boredom, Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, Romance, Romance in Marriage, romancing your spouse, Romantic Ideas and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Bored With Romance

  1. Romance is the gas that keeps marriage’s running….it’s the passion that keeps the spark burning. Anybody in love can’t resist because the feeling motivates a person to find new ways to put that love on display and a smile on their partners face. Nice surprise you planned for your husband….the effort put into the gesture shows the romantic love in your soul. It was beautiful to read, so I can image what it was like being there!!!! Great post and keep encouraging love because without it we just exist!!!!

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  2. Tiffani once pulled off arranging a sneaky weekend away… She packed for us, had the car ready and waiting when I got home from work, and she said “Get in and drive where I tell you!” Well yes ma’am, I said! She had arranged a whole weekend for us at a beautiful old farm (B&B) in rural Virginia – and other than the lady caretaker, we had the place to ourselves!

    I will never forget it! (But I may try to out-do her whenever money isn’t such as issue for us!)

    Love your posts, Debi! Thanks!

    ~Jason

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  3. Adam's Eve says:

    What a great idea! I’ve been planning for some time now a romantic getaway for my husband and I, but looks like it’s not going to happen until next year. But I’m looking forward to surprising him!

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  4. Celine says:

    I guess i have forgotten what romance is in marriage, we are just existing. Its not healthy but that is what is happening!!

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