This week we celebrated Independence Day in the United States of America. It was our nation’s birthday, and everywhere you looked you could see signs of the nationwide party about to take place.
For our Happy Hour feature we wanted to share with you a very special post that let’s us take a closer look at dependence and independence in marriage.
Our Special blog of the week is:
J, who blogs anonymously, shared a comparison that we believe is a healthy one to use in examining our own marriage. We hope you’ll take to heart what she’s comparing and see where your marriage lines up with it.
It’s Independence Day in the United States–the day we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. America was intent on gaining its freedom, but it didn’t earn it until 1782.
I started thinking about independence in marriage. Early in our marriage, my husband and I would debate about how dependent or how independent we should be.
Dependence. Some contend that we are one flesh, joined completely in all ways, and thus entirely dependent upon one another. Dependence advocates focus on how we complement one another, how we are like two halves of the same unit. As famously said in Jerry Maguire, “you complete me.”
Yet we all sense this can be taken too far. Like the couple who can’t seem to make the simplest move without the okay of the other. The couple who can’t spend a minute apart, as if doing so might rock the very foundations of their relationship. It can resemble that high school relationship between those two inseparable teens who had summarily dumped all of their friends in exchange for spending every waking moment with each other.
Given that our independence was earned by soldiers, I’m reminded of the number of military families today who must spend day after day apart. Are their marriages a sham? Of course not. Plenty of couples must be able to live independently yet still enjoy solid and long-lasting relationships.
So maybe “one flesh” doesn’t mean entirely dependent. (continue reading…)
You can find J on:
And don’t miss her personal testimony.