Have you ever shared something with your spouse and realized they hadn’t heard a word you said? Either they were distracted by their gadgets or the TV, but it was obvious they weren’t listening to you.

If we’re honest we have all done this from time to time. Why? Why is it so easy to ignore, intentionally or not, the one with whom we share the deepest bond?

We tend to let our guard down when we are in our own home. We know that our spouse loves us so what’s the big deal?

It’s a big deal because this little habit can be the start of erasing the priority your spouse has in your heart. If you make them feel invisible, they will believe they no longer matter to you.

Gary Thomas in his excellent book, Cherish, tells how one husband and wife shared a home office together. One day she finished her work before he did, and began clicking on social media updates. She found something interesting about a friend and began sharing it with her husband.

He was in the middle of substantial project and felt his project was much more important than her friend’s current FaceBook status. However, he cared more about his wife than he did his work project, so he stopped for a moment and listened to what she had to say.

Leaning in and listening to your spouse lets them know that they matter to you.

What if we made a conscious effort to keep the lines of communication open at all times? What if our spouse knew without a doubt that they have our ear whenever they need it? This is one mark of a healthy marriage–one with a firm grip on esteeming, not erasing, the other.

Don’t be an eraser!