It’s a day I have always favored
A day established by Your hand
You breathed into my birthing soul
And made my lungs expand
With tears I entered the world
With more tears I continue on
I know that You are always with me
And each year I lean upon…
Your mercy for the day ahead
Your grace to see me through
Your kindness as you illuminate
The beauty of life with You
I love Your world and all it holds
The smells, the sights, the tastes
You give me hope to continue on
For none of it goes to waste
For You have written the days for me
In Your eternal Book of Life
Each one has purpose to fulfill
The good days and those with strife
Hard days are a necessary part
Of living life on Earth
For it is in the hard places
Where I realize Your worth, for...
You endured the greatest suffering
As you hung upon the tree
You saw the joy before You
As You willingly died for me
So as I inhale to blow out the candles
On another year that has passed
I exhale praises for giving me
The gift of life that will last
As you probably have heard, I broke my ankle on the 4th of July. I am doing well adjusting to my physical limitations. But my biggest struggle is that I can’t cook or bake.
The kitchen is my happy place where I retreat when I’m happy or sad. It occupies my mind when I’m struggling, and it matches my mood when there’s a celebration to be had.
But now I can barely make my own morning cup of tea. Everything requires caution and planning. No jumping up to make a batch of cookies.
If I let myself go there, I would be sad. But there is good news!
I have an amazing husband who does all things well. Caring for me is his best gift, and I have been the recipient of his attention for decades.
I also have friends who have offered their help in our time of need; providing meals to us through Take Them A Meal. With their kindness, love and prayers they are such a blessing.
So my Foodie Friday post this week is dedicated to our friends who have brought us delicious food, from chicken sliders, kale salad, berry cobblers with ice cream. To red velvet cake, chicken and rice with yummy fresh breads, not to mention several gift cards to our favorite restaurants. And we’ve just gotten started.
We realize that sharing their love through a planned out meal is opening a part of their life and home with us. This is hospitality at work and I am so honored and grateful.
Marriage is a blessing. Having friends who lift you up when one of you is struggling is a gift that we don’t take lightly.
We have a busy couple of weeks ahead and wanted to share some of our favorite recipes.
Do you have one recipe that is your go-to for special occasions? You’re probably not surprised that we have several dishes we absolutely love. They’re the ones we choose for birthday celebrations or having friends over for dinner.
I can’t have pork anymore since I discovered I have a food sensitivity to it. Sad for me because I love pork tenderloin and baby back ribs. When I discovered these fall-off-the-bone beef short ribs I’d found my new craving.
I make mine in the crockpot because it fills the home with mouthwatering aromas that serve as an “appeteaser” of sorts. (Scroll down on the recipe page for slow cooker directions). Whip up some garlic mashed potatoes and veggie of your choice for a delicious dinner you’ll not soon forget.
For more of our favorites you can follow us on Pinterest. We have lots of Date Night pins and a board called, Yes Chef, for all the recipes we’ve tried or want to soon.
There is one thing of most importance in a healthy marriage and that is friendship.
I recently had a conversation with a young single man contemplating how to pursue a healthy relationship with hopes for marriage. I told him foremost he should seek to be her friend and not just an acquaintance, but a best friend.
A true friend will make you feel comfortable with who you are right now. There is a quality of acceptance that is hard to describe, but easy to recognize when you experience it.
A true friend will offer empathy when you are facing a hard times. They will make you feel heard, noticed and cared for without trying to fix you. In his book, Instruments In The Redeemer’s Hands, Paul David Tripp shares an easy way to practice true empathy; Love, Know, Speak, Do.
Let’s talk about each of these more specifically:
Love. A person feels your love when you listen not only with your ears but with your heart. You let them talk without interrupting them and without planning ahead what you’re going to say in response. A person can tell when you are just trying to fix them. This isn’t empathy.
Know. Most often when someone is sharing what is weighing on their heart and mind, they won’t tell you everything at first. They are testing the waters to see if you’re safe. The best way to know them is to not assume you know what motivates their response to the situation. Ask more questions. A safe one we’ve found is simple, “Tell me more.” Then listen and keep asking.
Speak. Only after doing the first two steps are you somewhat ready to speak into their lives. If you have experience with what they’re facing, this is a good time to share it. If you know of resources that would help this is good too. Most of all share your heartfelt empathy as if this difficulty were happening to you.
Do. Now is when you’re ready to do something to help. Most of us are wired to skip to this step first, which cheats us in our friendships. We don’t take the time to care for them. We want only to fix the problem and move on to something more interesting to us.
We can’t emphasize enough the importance of cultivating a genuine friendship with your spouse. Marriages set on auto-pilot will eventually run out of gas and crash.
Friendship is the refueling of the plane to keep going the distance.
Finally, we would be remiss if we didn’t share several detriments to friendships forming in a marriage. Kind of like ignoring holes in your fuel tank. Here are three for starters…
Selfishness – You don’t really care about the other person, but only what they do for you or how they make you feel. Jesus demonstrated genuine love for us by laying down His life for us. This is servant leadership, the opposite of selfishnes.
Pride – You are your number one concern. As long as your spouse caters to your opinion of yourself all is good. You aren’t looking to grow or mature, because you see yourself as having already arrived. You are your own best friend.
Competition – A spouse who is always trying to out-do the other–whatever the accomplishment–will never feel you’ve got their back. In fact they won’t feel safe with you. The Bible says to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep.” Jesus paused and wept with Mary over the death of her brother, even though He knew He was going to bring him back. Talk about One who is able to fix the problem we’re facing, yet He wept.
No couple does friendship in marriage perfectly, but a healthy marriage seeks their spouse’s opinion to learn more about themselves. We all have blind spots. This is why the Bible clearly commands us to take the log out of our own eye before going after the speck in theirs. But without friendship, there is no trust. And without trust the relationship will crash.
How can we regain trust that’s been broken?
When you realize you’ve sinned against your spouse–humbly repent. It is only by the grace of God at work in your heart that you will truly be able to repent. Without His grace, we tend to make excuses and look at our spouse’s faults as worse than our own. It is the grace of God that leads us to repentance. Don’t ignore the still small voice.
Marriage is hard work. To ignore cultivating a genuine friendship with your spouse is to miss out on one of God’s greatest blessings in this life. To lean in and pursue each other faithfully in all seasons is to receive the good design God had in mind all along for you.
We were married 23 years when we had the foodie experience of our lives. It still stands as one of our top meals of all time.
We were on a business trip to New Orleans for the NAFEM show held every two years. We had many friends in our industry and several that were quite close. One couple told us they were celebrating their 40th anniversary at The Commander’s Palace and would like us to join them–their treat. We didn’t even have to think about it. We were all in!
In case you didn’t know, Commander’s Palace is the place where Emeril Lagasse got his start in the culinary world. It is known as one of the finest restaurants in America, and we were going there for dinner. We were awe-struck at the thought. But it gets better…
We found out they had reserved the Chef’s Table where we would dine at a table across from the Sous Chef as he prepared our 7 course meal complete with wine pairings. Ahhh!!
The place was packed with diners. We were escorted through the noise to double doors that led us to the birth place of fine dining. We owned a commercial foodservice company, so my husband was all too familiar with the inner workings of a busy kitchen. But he had never experienced it as the one being served; and served we were!
Our chef, Tory McPhail, was the longest running Executive Chef in Commander’s Palace history until he retired in November, 2020. He now resides in Montana where he “guides three busy restaurants in Bozeman”, as his LinkedIn page states. He gave us our own signed copy of the menu, marking each of the 7 courses we enjoyed with the wine pairings.
The one dish that stands out to this day in my memory is their Creamed Corn with Jalapeño and Thyme. We hope you’ll take time to enjoy this dish while the summer sweet corn is at it’s finest.
Creamed Corn with Jalapeño and Thyme
Ingredients:
8 ears fresh corn, shucked
1 pint heavy cream
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
2 jalapeño peppers, stemmed, seeded and minced
2 Tablespoons fresh thyme
1 Tablespoon butter
Directions:
Stand an ear of corn inside a large bowl. Using a small knife remove the kernels, being sure not to cut into the cob. When all the corn has been scraped off, scrape the cob with the back of a knife, break the cob in half and place in a large pot. Repeat with the remaining ears of corn.
Pour the cream into the pot. It probably won’t cover all the cobs. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a boil, taking care not to let the cream boil over. Stir and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until the cream starts to thicken. Using tongs, remove the cobs. If not thick enough, make a roux using corn starch and water and thicken to your liking.
Add the corn and the jalapeño to the pan and simmer for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. The corn should be tender. Add the thyme, stir in the butter and adjust seasoning as needed.
Recipe from Commander’s Kitchen Cookbook, page 248
This weekend is special to us. Tomorrow is the anniversary of our first date. I remember it like it was yesterday even though it was 45 years ago!
I realized that we were foodies from the start.
When Tom picked me up I was a nervous and excited 18 year old. Tom was a mature 23 with a new car and three piece suit. He opened the door for me, and I had no idea he would be my forever door-opener and so much more.
He joked, “I hope you like McDonald’s.”
When he pulled into the nicest French-restaurant in town I was shocked. This was the restaurant with no prices on the ladies menu. Many of you reading this may be surprised that was the norm for expensive restaurants. I tried to read Tom’s expression as I decided what to order. But he gave no indication if the price was too much.
Maison et Jardin
I ordered Veal Oscar. Something I’d never had but it sounded delicious. We shared the table side tossed spinach salad with warm bacon dressing. The meal was finished with another table side preparation of bananas foster.
Our wine of choice was also of French origin, Pouilly Fuisse. It was smooth like butter. And yes, 18 was the legal drinking age in 1978.
So this weekend will be filled with reliving memories. And I may just order Veal Oscar, even if I see the price.
If you are from Western New York I’m about to make you hungry for something you may have enjoyed as much as we have. And it’s not what you’re probably thinking.
In 2021 I surprised Tom by taking him to the Finger Lakes for his birthday. He was born and raised in Buffalo and Rochester. This was one of those trips where Tom shared his childhood with me. We visited his old schools and local breweries We explored state parks, toured the Corning Museum and even fished in the deep waters of Cuyuga Lake.
It was here that he introduced me to Beef on a Weck. We went to a beautiful brewery overlooking Seneca Lake. The only item on the menu was Beef on a Weck. Tom was excited to share this with me.
Beef on a Weck is an amazing sandwich invented in the Buffalo area, like their more famous Buffalo Wings. Being a Florida girl I had only ever had Arby’s or Roy Roger’s for my take on roast beef sandwiches. (I know, I’m rolling my eyes too!) And I wasn’t a fan.
But this sandwich is the kind you crave once you’ve had a really good one. I learned it has been a staple in this region for over 100 years. Weck is short for Kummelweck rolls. Kümmel is German for caraway seeds. The rolls are Kaiser rolls sprinkled with coarse salt and caraway seeds, thus the name.
Beef on a Weck was the creation of an unnamed German baker working at John Gohn’s Delaware House.
The Pan-American Exposition was being held in Buffalo in 1901, and The Delaware House was right where those attending would get off the trolley. His idea was that this sandwich would make their hungry customers come in to eat and then thirsty for lots of beer. It worked and a tradition was born.
What is a Beef on Weck Sandwich? It is a roast beef sandwich on a salty kummelweck roll. In fact, it is this roll that makes the sandwich unique. Made only in the Buffalo-Rochester area, the kummelweck – often alternatively spelled kimmelweck – is basically a Kaiser roll topped with lots of pretzel salt and caraway seeds. Kummelweck is simply shortened to “weck.” The sandwich is usually served with sinus-clearing horseradish (you can tell a native Buffalonian by the amount of horseradish he or she used), a couple of huge kosher dill pickle slices on the side, and extra beef juice served straight from the roast. Wash it all down with a cold, locally brewed ale.
Rub roast with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Place roast on rack in a shallow baking pan, tucking the thin end under to make it as thick as the rest of the roast.
Bake, uncovered, 40 to 45 minutes or until thermometer registers 130 to 135 degrees F. Remove from oven and transfer to a cutting board; let stand 15 minutes before carving. Reserve meat juice, and carve meat into very thin slices (as thin as you can slice).
Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F.
Brush the prepared Cornstarch Glaze on the top of each Kaiser roll; sprinkle equal amounts of caraway seeds and heat in the oven for 3 minutes or until tops of the rolls get crusty and the caraway seeds and salt begin to stick. Remove from oven and cut each roll in half.
To assemble sandwiches, divide sliced beef on the bottom half of each roll, spoon with reserved beef juice, and top with the top half of each roll. Serve with horseradish on the side.
Makes 8 sandwiches.
Tom made these for me using Boar’s Head sliced roast beef and a au jus made with beef broth and Worcestershire sauce. He heated the beef in the au jus then put them dripping in the roll. He added the horseradish on the roll which we both like lots of it.
Tom’s Beef on a Weck
We re-created a special memory from our trip in 2021. Food does that—storing savory memories to be recalled with one bite.
I don’t know how we hadn’t heard of Downton Abbey until recently, but we hadn’t. However we’ve managed to catch up on all three seasons in three short months. 🙂
When our Date Night challenge was to pick a country as an at-home theme, we couldn’t resist the chance to have an authentic Downton Abbey dinner set in the beautiful country of England.
I took on the role of Mrs. Patmore for the dinner preparations, and Tom became Mr. Carsen as he picked the wine, set the table perfectly and lit the candles. After dinner was ready we changed into our proper dinner attire, although it was a bit on the casual side since Tom only had a black tie. Very frowned upon in Downton Abbey for the evening meal, as Matthew Crawley soon discovered.
In researching authentic recipes from the period, I was surprised to discover just how much went in to each course. The Huffington Post provides some excellent information on the subject:
There is a lot to love about the show. The characters are all compelling in their own way, and it is fascinating to watch a household that functions as a tiny town. But what we particularly love is how much cooking and eating takes place during each episode. Meals were a big part of life during the Edwardian period. The noble class used it as a way to, quite literally, taste their social status. They ate four times a day — breakfast, lunch, teatime and dinner. And the dinners were particularly elaborate, ranging from six to 22 courses! (emphasis mine)
We cut our dinner down to only four courses, and we were stuffed by the dessert. 🙂
Our first course consisted of a delicious Creamy Watercress Soup garnished with blue cheese crumbles and breadcrumbs.
Our second course was a palette cleanser of Meringue Nests with Roasted Rhubarb and Strawberry Sauce.
Our Third course was by far our favorite–Lamb Stew with Lemon and Dill served over a bed of Orzo.
Our Fourth course was Apple Confit with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream.
We played the Downton Abbey Sound Track on Pandora to make the evening feel special.
It was a perfectly wonderful night together and got better when Mr. Carsen showed up after dinner to do the dishes. Mrs. Patmore was quite relieved.
We ended the night be watching the next episode in our quest to finish Season 3.
What we love about this time period as depicted in this series is the respect people showed to one another. Of course, there are the inconsiderate and those who fake their respect, but for the most part the etiquette is sincere. I believe we have lost something very precious in our modern culture. Maybe this is why Downton Abbey has become so popular in the United States. Maybe we do long for a bit more tradition and manners.
This date was one we will always remember. And we may just do it again next year. After all, we only hit on 4 courses of the potential 22 course dinner menu. That leaves three more dates to try without repeating a recipe.
We hope this will inspire you to try such a date yourself. You will be ever-so pleased.
We celebrate in our family in two ways—you get to pick the meal and you get to pick the pie. We have always had birthday pies in lieu of cake because I’m better baking pies than cakes. 😉
That is until our daughter-in-love joined the family; she is an amazing cake creator. I say creator instead of baker because she creates masterpieces. Click here to see.
Back to this week’s BD celebration…
Heather wanted a crab and shrimp boil. I was so excited to make this because nothing welcomes summer like a good ol’ seafood feast.
Her pie choice was key lime. I didn’t bake it though, because Publix makes a delicious one. In addition, her husband can’t have dairy so I baked an apple pie for him.
All in all it was a great celebration. I just wish the rest of the family could gather together as we did in years past. Elias misses his cousins…
There was a season when I had to be strict with my diet for health reasons. I had taken the ALCAT test for food sensitivity the results were overwhelming. My list of what I shouldn’t eat was much larger than what I could.
I cried.
As much as Tom loves to eat, he surprised me. His response? “Let’s go to the grocery store and buy what’s on your good list. We’ll figure this out together.”
That helped me so much. He encouraged me to focus on what I could eat and not at what I couldn’t. I felt like I had his full support to do what seemed impossible.
Next, I started researching recipes using my ingredients. To my surprise I found many new favorites.
Today I’m sharing one recipe with you. It represents more than a good meal to me. It reminds me of the importance of walking with your spouse through their disappointments and challenges. It wasn’t a ME problem; Tom made it a WE problem, and I wasn’t alone.
Time. Time ticks away the days. Some days can’t pass fast enough. Others you wish you could make them last forever.
Our time spent away together was the latter—It was restful, beautiful and full of good food and God’s blessing.. All the things we needed to enjoy our time.
Vacations are good for the soul and even better for a healthy marriage. Like a fine wine, marriage needs time and rest in order to deepen its quality. This was a long-awaited time to invest in us.
I’ve shared with you many of the foods we enjoyed in our last post. But today I want to share more…
One of my favorite hobbies is framing special moments with the lens of my camera. This past week provided lots of opportunities, and I want to share them with you.
Our cruise was on Celebrity’s Equinox to Grand Cayman, Aruba, Curaçao and Bonaire. The last three we had never visited before now. Although it was quite hot, the breezes kept it bearable.
We learned the surprising history of Bonaire’s salt industry. An island with no other natural resources, harvesting salt was highly valuable in the 1500’s to the 1800’s—before refrigeration was available. We learned that sea salt in its natural state with no herbs or spices will last indefinitely. The ones with added herbs for five years.
We met many new friends including a couple from Northern Canada celebrating their 20th anniversary. They have 6 children and were really enjoying their time alone. You could see the joy on their faces.
Another couple we met from The Villages who have been on many, many cruises. They were a wealth of information and even showed us how to get off the ship sooner this morning. That was a blessing given the crowds on board. They are the only people we’ve met who have cruised to the Galápagos Islands. They shared all their experiences with great detail. Although I’ve never desired to go, their stories made it quite inviting.
One day Tom and I were having lunch. I happened to notice an abundance of brown algae floating by our window. We were wondering aloud how this algae is increasing around the Caribbean and Florida. We remembered when vacationing in Mexico, the staff having to rake it off the beach every morning to make room for tourists to enjoy the sand and sea. And did it smell! A man seated close to us commented, “You know, that’s why I’m here.”
We discovered he was the featured speaker for the Beyond The Podium lectures on the ship about the algae in our world. We had seen it on the itinerary but hadn’t made it a priority to go.
Dr. Levine happened upon this opportunity to work on the cruise line when he was taking a personal cruise with his wife of 44 years. He was sharing with a group about what he does as Professor Emeritus and CEO of the Algae Foundation. He drew quite the crowd by his knowledge and ability to explain the science of the sea. The Cruise Director noticed and he was told, “You know we hire people like you to share on our cruises.” The rest is history.
We went to his final lecture the next day and found his discoveries fascinating. The most notable when he was invited to descend into the depths of the sea to 950’. It is pitch dark that far below the surface, until their submarine turned on the lights. To his astonishment he found bright colored algae growing in this darkness that was thought to require light to grow. Amazing! All we could do was praise God for such a creation.
We saw on the schedule a string duo from Kyiv. Having such a close connection to Ukraine as well as having visited there before the war destroyed much of this city, we made it a point to listen. They were talented and so very personable.
Roman is the violinist and Michael, the cellist. Their talent is impressive. We enjoyed their music throughout the week. We introduced ourselves and shared our love for their country and how our prayers have been continually for their victory over their enemy.
It was touching when they playing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” realizing the longing for their country to find their way back home-like the song chimes, “if happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow—why, oh why can’t I?” I may have cried.
So many moments to celebrate together God’s goodness in science, food and entertainment. He is the giver of good gifts, many of which we enjoyed all week long. These are more moments captured with my camera…
Our Cabana DayGood food, drinks and booksSo comfyOur viewArubaI loved this treeView for lunchOld Fort in Curaçao Locks of LoveSome favorites up close…More…And the oldest we saw3D wall artKome CafeSpring has arrived in Curaçao En route to the next islandAfternoon coffeeLove himBreakfast at Blu onboard Craft Social for fish and chips on shipFinal breakfast before disembarking Time to say goodbye
One of my favorite lines from The Princess Bride is when Wesley comments to Buttercup repeatedly, “As you wish.” Her every wish is his command.
This is how we have both felt this week.
On Thursday last week we departed on our first extended vacation in a long time. Tom booked us a cruise to Grand Cayman and the ABC islands, Aruba, Curaçao and Bonaire for 9 days.
We were so in need of time to do nothing—not even think about what to eat or where to go. We simply had to be. This cruise delivered.
I asked Tom what has been his favorite part so far? Not surprisingly he said, “Having any food I want when I want it.” I love his love for good food. It is what inspired this series.
We will post more about our trip later. But for now, enjoy these photos. Bon appetite!
Blu Dining RoomCrab, Avocado and Tomato stackBeautiful—our favorite stopProduce MarketKome—recommended by a friend. Best by far!Smoked Brisket tacosFish of the DayLocal seltzer with LimeCapri Salad with heirloom tomatoesLemon cheesecakeTiramisu Crab cake – ahhh!Filipino omelette made special by our private server for the day in our cabana Afternoon coffee treat—IGLU Cafe Frappe’
Longing for something makes it precious. The longer you wait for it the sweeter the reward.
We have been longing for time away. Time to re-connect. Time to be us. And today it begins…
We are leaving on a long-awaited cruise. I told Tom it doesn’t matter where we go or even if we get off the boat. To be with him without distraction is my heart’s desire.
Desire is another word that depicts a healthy aspect of marriage. To desire something rightly is to want it for the good of the one you love. I desire to see Tom fully relaxed and without care on this trip as he does for me.
Another aspect of desire in marriage is to desire to glorify God in how we love each other. This brings Him pleasure for we are to be a reflection of how Christ loves the church and sacrificially gave Himself for her.
My husband is a good example of one who represents Christ. I am the grateful recipient of both his love for me and God’s love expressed through him to me. What a gift I don’t take lightly.
Friday night will be a full moon. We will be at sea and like on our honeymoon cruise we will marvel at the beauty God created. On that first cruise we were young a looking forward to what God would do in our lives together.
This cruise we are looking back over 44 years with gratefulness and humility as we see His hand guiding us every step. He is faithful to His people and His creation. The sun and moon are daily examples. Our lives are examples as well.
His desire to redeem us and His longing to know us, makes it possible for us to give our longings and desires to Him. We can entrust it all to his care because He promises to keep all that concerns us.
So it’s time to embark on this long-awaited trip. Many plans in the last 5 years have been canceled for various reasons. It was disappointing then, but makes this trip all the more meaningful.
Godspeed
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
During the quarantine Tom and I got creative at using all the leftovers of a meal for another meal. For instance, leftover potatoes would be chopped and thrown into a chowder or fried up and served with morning eggs.
A few weeks ago we went to our local Farmer’s Market (Winter Garden for our local readers). We bought some still on the stalk, Brussel Sprouts. I’ve always wanted to roast these and discovered how much fresher they are this way.
But I had these huge stalk leaves I had never seen. I wasn’t sure if they were edible, so I set out to do some research. I learned that they are not only edible but very high in fiber and nutrients.
I had planned to use leftover cod filets for fish tacos, but knew I’d have to add lots of crunch to mask the tendency of reheated fish to be mushy. Oh my goodness. These Brussel Sprout leaves turned into the most delicious slaw for the tacos.
Not only did we use our leftover fish, which is hard to do, but we learned of a good substitute for cabbage, since I can’t have it.
There is great satisfaction in using all the food purchased each week at the market. With the prices of groceries now, it’s more important than ever.
I love surprising Tom with another meal made from previous meals that he would never know if I didn’t tell him. It’s kind of a challenge each week.
Tom and I love to watch cooking shows. Master Chef, Beat Bobby Flay and Guy’s Grocery Games are a few we watch regularly. But two have really been the top of our viewing favorites lately: Next Level Chef and Andrew Zimmer’s Family Dinner.
Next Level Chef is Gordon Ramsey’s latest cooking show, and it’s really good. We look forward each week to see what the next challenge will be. This week it was Happy Hour and each chef had to prepare an appetizer, pairing it with a cocktail. It’s always fun to see what they think of under pressure. Some prove their creative genius, others get so ruffled they forget to include their cocktail for the judges. I think the reason we like these shows is the simplicity of it all. Cook well and move forward. Make a mistake and you may be eliminated. Kind of like an Olympics in the Culinary World.
Andrew Zimmer’s Family Dinner hits us on a completely different level. He meets with a different family in America and visits them for their weekly family gathering. It’s diverse and so is the food prepared. Some are quite simple, others are intricate and involved. What they all have in common is a story of family and how food has connected them through generations.
We love our family and we all enjoy cooking together. Even though weekly family dinners are impossible given that we live in different states, we still love to share what we’re cooking. We have a text thread that keeps us up-to-date on all things, including “What’s for Dinner?”
Our family provides lots of cooking challenges with Gluten Free requirements, dairy restrictions and food sensitivities including soy and pork. It’s like a cooking show gathering of our own; asking “How can we make the foods we love eliminating the ingredients we can’t eat?” I must say we’ve gotten quite good at improvising.
Every family has a story that starts in the kitchen. If Andrew Zimmer were to come to our house we would share recipes from Italy and the South. Tom’s Mom cooked traditional Italian which we referred to last week. My family is from Oklahoma and the South. All which influences my love for anything smothered and fried. Together this tells the story of us.
Do you and your spouse enjoy watching TV shows? Have you ever considered this is part of what makes you unique? This alone tells a story of ways you connect together around common interests.
When I used to ask my Mom what was for dinner, my favorite answer was meatloaf. It is a food that takes me back to the comfort of growing up with my family.
That’s what comfort food usually is. Although, when I asked Tom what his comfort food was, I expected him to say one of the meals I make for him that he loves; but he didn’t. His favorite is his Mom’s Italian sauce over any pasta. Gratefully, she taught me how to make her sauce before she was gone. I should have known his favorite would also be one that reminded him of growing up as a child.
Comfort foods are the dishes you want when you’ve had a rough day.
It’s the perfect way to bless your spouse when you know they’re struggling. Food has a way of comforting us before we take the first bite. It’s the aroma that fills the air that hints of what’s to come.
I’m grateful for the way God made us–our five senses add such a joy to every experience in life. When I had Covid I lost my sense of taste and smell. It was the worst for me. I’m thankful it only lasted a week.
I want to share with you my meat loaf recipe. It may not make it to the level of comfort food for you, but hopefully it will become a favorite. And we’d love to hear what you and your spouse’s comfort foods are. Won’t you share with us in the comments?
EVERDAY MEATLOAF
Ingredients:
2/3 cup Italian bread crumbs
1/2 cup milk
1.5 lbs. ground chuck
2 slightly beaten eggs
1/4 cup diced onion
1 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. sage
Piquant Sauce:
3 Tbsp. brown sugar
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 cup ketchup
1 tsp. dry mustard
Directions:
Soak bread crumbs in milk for a minute. Stir into meat adding eggs, onion and seasonings. Mix well. Form into a loaf and place in a greased 13 x 9 pan. Spread piquant sauce over top of meatloaf and bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees or until done.
NOTE: This recipe is from the 1947 edition of Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. This is the year my parent’s were married and was most likely a wedding gift, which makes this recipe even more special to me. It was food they enjoyed as newlyweds. When my Dad passed away in 2004 they had been married for almost 57 years. What a legacy to us their children. Makes me want meatloaf tonight.
food.ie noun INFORMAL; plural noun: foodies – a person with a particular interest in food; a gourmet.
Tom and I are certainly foodies.
We share a love for cooking, eating different cuisines and trying new restaurants. I joined Yelp years ago and have been Yelp Elite for the last 6 years. It is a fun way to document where we’ve been and what we have enjoyed.
Sadly I can no longer have soy. The only Thai, Chinese or any Asian food I can enjoy is if I make it myself using Coconut Aminos as a substitute. I’m happy to say it tastes just like Soy Sauce with less sodium, and it’s Gluten Free. Why restaurants don’t offer food cooked this way is a mystery to me. I’m sure there are lots of folks who can’t have soy. I have found a favorite recipe for Kung Pao Chicken that I substitute CA for the Soy. If you try it I hope you’ll comment and share your experience with us. The photo above is from a blog who’s recipes are always delicious, “damn delicious”.
I’ve decided to make each Friday a foodie post. I will either highlight a recipe we’ve tried that has become a new favorite. Or I may feature a dish we had a restaurant and how I go about discovering how to make it at home.
If you love to cook I hope you’ll follow us as we share. If you want to cook more but aren’t sure how, I hope our posts will inspire you to step outside your comfort zone. Feel free to ask us questions too. We aren’t experts, but we are experienced. We would love to help take your At-Home date nights to a new level.
If you just love to eat out, our posts will point the way to good restaurants we’ve tried in Central Florida as well as places we’ve discovered when traveling.
Our Friday Foodie posts will be fun for us to share and hopefully you’ll look forward to what we’ve enjoyed in the kitchen or on the road. Follow us on Instagram with this hashtag: #foodiefridayswithTheRomanticVineyard
Valentine’s Day was different than any other year for us. Normally I post ideas for how to make your time together romantic and memorable, all while planning a special at-home date for us. But I didn’t this year. I didn’t even buy Tom a card. My mind was distracted with other pressing needs. This has never happened and it made me sad.
But one thing did happen that I want to share.
Tom bought me a card and flowers. Before I opened it he explained that he wanted to buy a card that celebrated how he sees me, yet most every card expressed how the wife made the husband feel. While there is nothing wrong with this focus, Tom wanted the card to highlight my strengths that he loves.
Hearing the story of him doing this small thing for me was actually a very big thing that meant more than the card itself.
Paul Tripp, one of favorite authors and teachers, has said that many couples love how their spouse makes them feel, but fail to love their spouse for who they are.
This is a much needed examination to make in our relationship.
If we only love how our spouse makes us feel this can be a form of selfishness we should confess to God. Only God knows our heart, but many times He won’t reveal what’s needed unless we have eyes to see and ears to hear. Even the disciples struggled to understand what Jesus was saying. We must ask God and be humble to hear the truth. This is how change happens—asking, seeing, confessing, changing, repeating.
Tom demonstrated his unselfish love for me by expressing how he sees me through a not-so-cheap Valentine card. And I will forever cherish him for his thoughtfulness and care.
It’s January and everyone is focused on losing weight, being active, embracing abandoned disciplines. Due to parties and family gatherings we may have neglected our normal routines. It’s time to pull in the reins and begin anew.
Maybe your marriage is feeling neglected as well. Maybe it needs a FITness routine to help jump start a new normal.
We have come up with a simple plan if followed will set your marriage on a good course for 2023.
F – Friendship. Yes. Friendship is the foundation of a great marriage. If this has been neglected or replaced with other friends over the years, it’s time to make adjustments. Maybe you feel the distance created by a lack of common interests. Consider taking up a new hobby together. Tom and I have never been big football fans, but this year we decided to learn more about the game. We have enjoyed time together rooting on our favorite teams–Go Gators! Go Bills! Maybe its movies, or Pickle Ball? Hiking or Biking? Bowling or doing puzzles? There are lots of choices, active or sedate that can help rebuild your friendship. There is a caution though–If this has been neglected for years in your relationship, it may take more than just a change of schedule. It may require counseling to help you both come to a place of complete understanding and trust. Be patient. Remember to grow a friendship you must be a friend first.
I – Intimacy. Intimacy won’t deepen if friendship, understanding and trust aren’t present. This is why it is not first on the list. If you are doing well as friends, then intimacy needs intentionality and time to grow. Talk about regular date nights and whether or not this is something important to your spouse, for every couple is different. Just because “so and so” have regular dates doesn’t mean your marriage is less if you don’t. It’s what intimacy means to you and your spouse. Talk about what growing in spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual intimacy would look like for you. Then make changes to accommodate time and space for it to happen. Study your spouse and discover what would bless them. This is a good habit to continue to build intimacy through all seasons of marriage.
T – Talk. If you aren’t talking about important issues you aren’t growing closer together. To push conflict or struggles aside is to cause drift in your marriage. Misunderstanding and hurt feelings won’t go away by ignoring them. It will certainly fester and become a bigger problem in the years to come. Talking can be hard, especially when there are hurt feelings involved. Any healthy marriage has learned how to do this. But how? By doing it and learning what is helpful and what isn’t. No one has a perfect marriage. Ask any couple who is succeeding and they will tell you of difficult seasons they had to grow through. Like a physical trainer has to break down bad habits in order to build muscle and strength. A strong marriage didn’t start out that way. It took years of choosing to be FIT.
After reading these 3 steps, what areas are in need of attention in your relationship? May 2023 be the year your marriage grows FIT for a lifetime.
Footnote: I delayed this post after watching the Buffalo Bills player, Damar Hamlin, collapse on the field during the first quarter of their playoff game against the Cincinnati Bengals. It has been determined he suffered cardiac arrest. It was horrific to see. Our prayers are with this young man (age 24) and his family.
This is a series originally posted in November 2016. We share it as a Vintage post because it’s worth remembering.
The last two practices you may or may not realize you’re doing. This is why we want to shine the light on these two together. It happens when we listen to our spouse either with our mind made up based on our view (assumption), or when we hear what you’re saying but have no intention to consider it (disregard). The discussion at this point is closed.
Assuming is never good because we cannot read our spouse’s mind.
Even if the evidence points strongly in our direction–we must give them the benefit of the doubt until solidly proven otherwise. What makes assumptions so harmful is you rob your spouse of their voice. We have seen it happen countless times in counseling when one spouse shuts the other down not allowing them to share their perspective. Assumptions press charges with no regard for mercy. It isn’t from a loving heart that assumptions flow, but from a proud, condescending heart.
When we stood at the alter pledging our love and commitment we had no idea that those vows would come at such a cost.
What is your limit? What is the one place where if your spouse took you there, it would be over? It’s supposed to be until death parts us, but sometimes the cost is more than we can bear in our own strength. And maybe that’s the point, we’re doing this marriage thing in our own strength! Maybe God wants to get us to the place where our dependence is on Him alone, not on our spouse’s ability to do things the way we want them done? Maybe it’s not about our happiness, but our holiness.
Ouch! I know that hurts. Doing real life with another sinner will hurt! But we must breathe grace, not make assumptions.
The other detrimental practice is disregard.
To disregard another is to put them on the sidelines, to take their opinions, their thoughts, their wellbeing out of the game. It’s telling them they no longer matter to you.
It breaks our heart to see couples treat each other with disregard because marriage is supposed to model Christ and His love for the church. And He never disregards us, even when we deserve it. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He has promised to hear every cry we whisper to Him in secret. He has even promised to keep all our tears in a bottle and count our tossing. Even when He knows He’s not going to fix things the way we want them to be fixed. He loves us enough to listen, love and work His plan in and through us. And by His grace we can learn to regard our spouse well.
Assumption and disregard are born from miscommunication that takes place for a long time, or worse–no communication at all.
How do we avoid this practice? By having friends who are willing to point it out to you. Have a long talk with your closest friends about these practices, and ask them to hold you accountable when they hear you say anything that sounds like it. And don’t expect them to bring it up! Being accountable, as Tom often shares, isn’t having people who will ask often to see if you’re being faithful. Being accountable is self-disclosing your struggles, your temptations and your failures. It’s not waiting for them to ask you, but volunteering your struggle to them. After spending an evening together pause and ask your friends if they have observations that would be helpful for you to hear. And then listen to what they share.
In review, we’ve looked at five practices detrimental to marriage. Of course this list isn’t exhaustive, but it’s a start. Do you see any of these in your marriage? We’d be surprised if you didn’t. Let’s talk about it and cut the temptation off at the start before it does permanent damage.
The Romantic Vineyard 