Happy Hour

Ask Pastor John

  • Is Oral Sex Okay? – John Piper answers this common question for married couples wanting to know.

Gary Thomas

Intimacy In Marriage

Posted in Aging, Blog Love, Happy Hour, Keeping It Real, Seasons of Life, Sexual Intimacy | Tagged , , ,

Vintage Post – Meet The Gardners

(originally posted on April 23, 2013)IMG_0718

Have you ever heard your spouse talk about someone over and over, but never had the chance to meet them? Someone they had met before you were together? You’ve heard so much about them that it’s almost like you know them, even though you’ve never seen them in person?

Last weekend I had the privilege to finally meet Mr. and Mrs. Gardner.

They had a huge impact on Tom when he was first saved for they modeled the kind of marital love that birthed in Tom a desire for the same when he found a wife (me) :-). We have mentioned them before as the couple who never went to bed without the other. If one wasn’t tired, they laid in bed and read so the other could sleep. How sweet is that?

What a privilege it was to sit at the lunch table with them and hear my husband thank them for the lessons their love taught him. Tears welled up in all of our eyes because we knew this was a moment that glorified God for the faithfulness they had demonstrated to each other and to the vows they said on their wedding day. Certainly they have weathered the storms brought on by decades of doing life together, and have come out on the other side all the better for the struggles.

Their greatest trial was when continents separated them while he served in Vietnam.

They shared with us how they kept their love alive during this dark season of their marriage. They sent recorded messages to each other every week and wrote letters every day. One time his letters stopped coming and Mrs. Gardner was distraught not knowing what had happened to him. She called The Red Cross, but they knew nothing. She waited for weeks until she finally received a letter from another soldier telling her that her husband had undergone emergency surgery in a M.A.S.H. unit to remove a kidney stone. She was relieved at the news, but wished they had told her sooner.

When we asked them the secret to their lasting love, they both acknowledged their love for God and their commitment to follow His will for their lives no matter how difficult.

We walked around their beautiful home as they told us stories about the garden they had so carefully created.

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Mrs. Gardner took her trowel as we talked, and went to work digging up bulbs and plants to give us to plant in our own garden. She picked as many weeds as she did plants, which is one of the reasons her plants thrive. She not only cares for the soil, but she also pulls up anything that doesn’t belong knowing it will take the nutrients the flowers need to bloom and grow.

What a great metaphor for how to cultivate a romantic vineyard.

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It was obvious they do this all the time. I guess sharing the abundance from what they’ve sown through the years both in their garden and in their marriage comes as easy as breathing.

Sadly, Mr. Gardner was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, but his eyes still twinkle when he talks about his bride. What a marriage they have built, what a love they enjoy, what a privilege to have finally met them. They will celebrate 63 years together in June, and we thank God for the visible demonstration of a marriage that wasn’t easy, but stayed the course for God’s glory. We will gladly plant the flowers they gave us this past weekend, but what we really pray is that what their example has sown in our marriage will bear the kind of fruit that we can share with others in the same way.

Their daughter, Pam, pulling our wagon full of plants.

Tell us, who in your marriage has inspired you? Who has helped you cultivate your own marriage garden for God’s glory? Have you had the chance to thank them in person?

Post update: Mr. Gardner took his last breath in this life and first breath in eternity in 2014. They shared nearly 64 years of marriage to the glory of God.

Posted in Aging, Christian Marriage, Death and Grieving, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life | Tagged

2018 Date Night Challenge – “J” Date

This date has made the letter “J” my favorite so far in our Date Night Challenge.

Tom knows how much I love music. When it’s performed LIVE, of high quality, and the genre I love (JAZZ), it doesn’t get much better. He outdid himself in planning this date for me.

We had recently heard about Jazz Tastings, a restaurant offering a tapas-style menu and live music every night. We had tried it once before, but were not impressed and didn’t stay to give them a fair shot. However, when it was highly recommended by some friends whose opinion we value, Tom was convinced to give them another chance and make this our “J” date.

When we arrived there were only a handful of people in the small venue. The house band was setting up and the owner, Rory Far greeted us with a welcoming smile as well as a menu.

We started with an appetizer of cheese, olives, bruschetta and dried meats.

Next we enjoy a delicious flat bread.

We took our time with each dish wanting the evening to last.

When the music began we knew we were in for a treat. They are known as the Jazz Tastings House Quartet, but on this night there were only three. The lead guitarist is also a doctor who happened to be on call and couldn’t play. But you would never have known they were missing their lead by the way the entertained us with their skills and passion for music.

They introduced themselves, sharing interesting facts about their history and experience. We loved the nicknames and funny stories they shared; it made us feel as if we were a part of their family.

Meet Ezra Henry, aka “EH”, who has played for many celebrities including a famous talk show host who requests him for private events she and Stedman host. 🙂

This is Larry McRae, aka “Boom Boom”. He was privileged to play for our late President Ronald Reagan at the White House. He comes from Philadelphia and has played with such stars as Roberta Flack. He told us that he discovered there is a video of him playing at the Reagan Library in CA. When his dad heard of it, he couldn’t have been more proud of his boy!

Finally, Mark Falcheck, aka “MF” which means My Friend. 🙂 He is a Berkley graduate and they lovingly call him the magician because of what he can do with the keyboard.

They asked if we wanted classic jazz, smooth jazz, pop music or a mixture. We opted for the latter wanting to hear the full range of what they could do. It was amazing!

Some of my favorites were:

  • L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole. My dad and I used to sing this song together around our piano. I’ve always loved it!
  • Route 66
  • And others of which I don’t recall the titles.

We ended the night with one of their many desserts–Pecan Bread Pudding. Yeah, it was a sweet ending to a great evening. One I hope we’ll repeat again and soon.

Here is a sampling of the music offered at Jazz Tastings…Enjoy!

 

Posted in 2018 Date Night Challenge, Alphabet Dates, Artsy Dates, Date Night Ideas | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Hour

It’s time for some of our favorite blog posts from the past week. Take some time a read these excellent posts. Your marriage will thank you!

Gary Thomas

Hot, Holy and Humorous

  • How To Celebrate An Anniversary – J and Spock are celebrating 25 years of marriage in one of our favorite cities–Chicago! Happy Silver anniversary you two. May the next 25 be better than you hope.

Intimacy In Marriage

  • Sex Isn’t Everything in Marriage, But… – “What is your normal? Is it nurtured sexual intimacy or is that the exception? Sit with that question a moment. I offer it as a kind nudge, although I recognize you may hear it as an all-out assault on your status quo.” – Julie from this excellent post.
Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Happy Hour, Sexual Intimacy | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Consider This…

Photo by Gabriel Laroche on Unsplash

We have a neighbor whose husband passed away a couple of weeks ago.

Several of us who live in the neighborhood went over to share our condolences and bring a gift of remembrance to her. It was a sweet time of hearing her memories of life with her husband of 60+ years. He didn’t want a funeral, but requested a family reunion instead. So her children and grandchildren gathered together with her over the past two weeks to reminisce and take care of the tedious business required when someone dies. Her son is still there with her for the coming week, and her daughter will return when he leaves. We joked that this is why we have children, to care for us in our old age.

The truth of that statement hung in the air long after the laughter died down.

Tom and I left with a fresh realization that this will be our story in our next season of life. It is always a sobering thought that brings with it questions…

  • Who will be left behind?
  • How will we handle the parting?
  • Will our children be near to help with the many details?
  • What will it be like to live alone after being married for decades?

Many of us don’t like to consider these somber questions, but we do well to take thought of it.

A.W. Tozer said, “Let no one apologize for the powerful emphasis Christianity lays upon the doctrine of the world to come. Right there lies its immense superiority to everything else within the whole sphere of human thought or experience. When Christ arose from death and ascended into heaven, He established three important facts, namely that this world has been condemned to ultimate dissolution, that the human spirit persists beyond the grave and that there is indeed a world to come. We do well to think of the long tomorrow.”

Thinking of the long tomorrow helps us make wise decisions in our personal relationship with Christ and in our marriage. Our choices matter today, tomorrow and most importantly for eternity!

Have you spent time talking with your spouse about the long tomorrow?

 

Posted in Aging, Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Death and Grieving, Perspective in Marriage, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Wordless Wednesday

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In To Me See – An Invitation Reserved For One

Photo by John Westrock on Unsplash

“In to me see” is a term our pastor coined for intimacy.

If done right we are inviting our spouse to see into our lives in a way no one else does. It is for their eyes, ears and heart only. Some spouses see this as a privilege. Others can make it a bone of contention. The difference between the two is realizing we are on the same team going in the same direction for God’s glory. If we tend to see our lives as separate, yet together, we are missing intimacy in the way God desires.

Vulnerability is essential to deepening our intimacy as the years pass.

In order for our marriage to grow there are four areas of intimacy that must be cultivated on a regular basis.

Four key areas of intimacy in marriage

(includes but is not limited to)

  1. Spiritual – Bible study, prayer, church involvement, ministry to others, confession of sin, sharing convictions as God reveals them
  2. Emotional – Feelings, affections, love languages, romance, date nights
  3. Intellectual – Current events, reading books-both non-fiction and fiction, newspapers, magazine articles, documentaries
  4. Physical – Sex, working out, hobbies which require physical endurance, such as hiking and running

What is your plan for growing in these four vital areas of intimacy? If you don’t have a plan, then you are planning to neglect your marriage.

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

Tom and I have gone canoeing many times together. This is how I prefer to canoe because Tom is purposeful in steering the canoe. Me? Not so much. I canoed once with our daughters. Tom was in the canoe with our son. He managed to get his canoe where he wanted it to go. Mine drifted into the banks where spiders and gators lurk. It is not a fun memory–although Tom got quite a good laugh out of it.

Truth be told…I have a tendency to neglect the consistent effort needed to stay on course. I see Tom as God’s gift in my life to help me do what I couldn’t or wouldn’t do left to myself. I am a better me with him by my side. I pray he feels the same way about me when it comes to other areas of intimacy.

Showing our weaknesses in marriage is something we tend to avoid. If we open up these insecure areas we may discover God has given us the help we need in our spouse!

Ask yourself…

  • …does my spouse know the areas where I am weak, or the areas I am willing to neglect because I don’t want to do it?

  • …do I hide for fear of being judged or rejected?

These are all important questions to ask. No one can help us grow and change when it comes to these heart issues. We have to be honest with ourselves and take the mask of self-sufficiency and pride off. You may not be familiar with these masks. It’s a way we are often tempted to show only the good parts of me. The ugly, shameful side is often hidden hoping that no one will know what lurks in the darkest parts of our heart.

I recently cleaned out my closet. It has been a chore I’ve avoided because I knew I would have to make decisions about keeping, tossing or donating. I dreaded doing it given the amount of stuff crammed in my closet. I knew it would get worse before it got better, but you know what? It only took me an hour at the most! The hardest part was starting.

It’s the same with cleaning out our thoughts. Knowing our spouse is for us and wants to help us is good, but we have to believe it to actually start. It may create a mess at first, but the mess is worth it on the way to intimacy.

It is important to note: These messes are the doorway to true and lasting freedom found only on the threshold of honesty and transparency.  Run, don’t walk through that door! It’s worth the effort!

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict, Intimacy | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Vintage Post – The De-Masking Of Prince Charming

Photo by Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash

(Originally posted on June 27, 2012)

Each of us on a specific day of a specific year stood before others and exchanged our marriage vows. Most likely we were full of great anticipation of this being our fairy tale come true. We were committing our life and love to a happily ever after. At least this was our hope.

But somewhere along the way life happened.

For us it was our third year of marriage. This was the year when reality broke through the fairy tale dream world I had created in my mind. Tom wasn’t a prince, and I was certainly no princess. We were both sinners saved by grace in need of continual saving from our sin-prone nature. We hurt each other more than we’d ever thought was possible. It wasn’t intentional, but it was unavoidable.

This may be hard to hear, but it was God’s plan all along.

He knew how my sin would hurt Tom and how his sin would hurt me. He planned for these hurts to draw us closer to the only One who could offer us hope and change–Himself.

He knows our frame and that we are dust. Between our first and our last breath, God has ordained for us to grow in godliness. For those who are married, our covenant will be one of the major sources He uses to bring the necessary change in our life.

Knowing this, I still resist at times. I want the fairy tale. I want to always feel my love. I don’t want to have to deal with heartache and disappointment. I don’t want to have to embrace change and the aging process. I want things to stay as they are.  It is normal to be tempted in this way, but giving into this temptation is immature and damaging to the growth of a healthy marriage.

It is so easy to point the finger at our spouse with a long list of all the things they do to disappoint us.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

It is easier to place fault on someone other than ourselves, but this isn’t mature. James 1 says:

22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.  (ESV, emphasis mine)

Let’s take time to accurately look at our own heart in the mirror of God’s Word.

As Tom has counseled many couples, we must realize that no person is completely without fault. We both bring issues to the table of marital hardship. Waiting for your spouse to go first is acting like a spoiled child. Someone has to go first. Someone has to be the mature one. Why not let it be you? As you purpose to deal with your own sin, you may be surprised to see how your spouse’s heart begins to soften as well.

Our third year was when the Prince Charming mask came off, and I saw Tom for who he was. But you know what? Seeing him as he really was with all of his weaknesses exposed, was more attractive to me than a man who hid behind a fake costume trying to be what I wanted him to be.

In the same way Tom found his love for me deepen as he saw and began to understand my struggles with pride. To be honest, I am more like the wicked step-sister in the Cinderella story, than Cinderella, yet Tom demonstrated a mature love for me in spite of my ugly sin. So much like Christ’s love for His church.

We are compatibly different, and differently compatible.

And it’s in being honest about our faults and sins with God and each other that we’ve grown to embrace this truth, instead of trying to fix each other. Our differences actually make us more interesting as a couple. Our conversations and discussions are more lively because we don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, and it’s okay.

You know what? The de-masking of Prince Charming revealed a man more handsome than who I thought Tom was when we married. Each year that passes my love for him deepens, and it no longer matters if I feel the emotions or not, because my love is based not on feeling, but on a strong desire to honor God and our covenant to each other. This, I believe, is what mature love is–and it is so much better than a fairy tale. Of course, I’m grateful for the feelings, but feelings are the fruit of mature love, not the foundation on which to build.

In what ways have you let go of the fairy tale romance for the reality of a deep and lasting love? What about this process has been difficult for you? How did God help you?

Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Keeping It Real, Vintage Posts | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Wordless Wednesday

Photo by Bryan Apen on Unsplash

Posted in Christian Marriage, Wordless Wednesday | Tagged , ,

The Power of Influence

If I were to ask you, “Who do you influence the most in your life? In your marriage?” Would you have a quick answer? I believe it would do us well to consider the answer for knowing WHOM we influence will enable us to consider HOW we are influencing as well.

I shared about our recent “I” date where we went to see, I Can Only Imagine. In the movie Bart Millard finally shares his story of the negative influence his parents, especially his dad, had on his young life. He spent years trying to drown out his voice, but nothing he did worked. He needed Someone with greater influence than his father’s to help him overcome the damage his father’s abuse caused. That Someone was and is Jesus. Not only did Jesus change his life for the good, but the good had an overflow impact on the very man who caused his trouble.

It’s good to remember how much Christ has done for us and our marriage.

Recount the many blessings and lessons learned over the years. By His grace we are not the same as we once were. We are being changed day after day into more of His likeness. It is miraculous.

The spill-over effect is that all who know us are influenced either for good or for bad. This includes:

  • Children
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Friends
  • Co-Workers
  • Facebook friends

Actually, we are influencing everyone with whom we come in contact.

First impressions can be hard to change. We must be aware of everyone God is bringing into our lives either for a season or for the res of our lives.

What a privilege it is to be an influencer. Realizing this helps us make the most of the message our lives, our marriages are speaking.

Posted in Christian Marriage

Wordless Wednesday

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2018 Date Night Challenge – “I” Date

This date came about fairly easily. It was my turn to plan, and there happened to be a new movie I wanted to see. It doesn’t always work this way, but when it does–go for it!!

I Can Only Imagine is the true story of Bart Millard, who suffers physical and emotional abuse from his Dad. It is powerful, and showcases God’s redemptive power even in the midst of extreme adversity. He discovers the love of a father he had never thought possible.

It stars some well-known actors such as, Dennis Quad–Bart’s father, Trace Adkins–his musical mentor and Cloris Leachman–his loving grandmother.

As the lead singer of Mercy Me, his hit song, I Can Only Imagine, launched them to the top of Christian charts and gave him a career in music ministry that is flourishing to this day.

Here’s the trailer should you want to go see the movie yourself.

Afterwards we went out for Tom’s favorite, ICE CREAM, to talk about it.

It provided a great start to an INTIMATE evening. ♥️

Posted in 2018 Date Night Challenge, Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Forgiveness, Movie Dates | Tagged , , ,

Vintage Post – Grace Given Brings Peace

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

(Originally posted on April, 21, 2010)

It is late.

It has been one of those nights where I am filled with emotions I don’t understand, much less expect my husband to understand.   Yet I try.  I strive to communicate honestly, even though as I speak what’s troubling me I realize how ridiculous it sounds.

Still…he listens. He asks questions, trying with the best of his ability to “get it” – to get what I’m feeling.

Impossible!

I am a woman.  He is a man.  God has made us completely and utterly different, yet we are ONE. I know he’ll never completely understand what motivates my thoughts, feelings and emotions.  Just as I’ll never understand his logic, his resolve and his unrelenting pursuit of me!

He is a gift.

He is what my soul needs to stay grounded when all around me seems shaken.  He reminds me of eternity by taking my hand and praying for me and with me.  As he does I sense a softening in my questioning heart.  The emotions die down, and I hear my voice follow his as I pray for him.

We are One because the One who created all things has ordained it to be so.  And in our oneness we are invited to participate in glorifying Him.  We do this by choosing in these unstable moments to cling to the only One who is stable!  Our circumstances change from day to day as do our emotions, yet He is the One to be trusted, to cling to, no matter how uncertain the day may become.

Marriage is a union stronger than any other, and it is in days like these where I feel it’s support and God’s tremendous blessing.

It is a gift…

…available only because of the gift of His Son to a dying world.  We live because He lived.  We love because He first loved us.  We press on because this is what brings Him glory.  He has promised to give us grace for the day…how thankful I am for the grace given to me through the love of my husband.

In this I have found peace.

**IT’S YOUR TURN:   When you find yourself in difficulties – relational or otherwise – how do you and your spouse work through it?  What have you found works for you?

Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Encouraging Your Spouse, Keeping It Real, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Wordless Wednesday

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Going, Not Knowing

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

On this Easter Sunday I’m reminded of another Easter.

1985. It was our last Sunday in the church where Tom and I met. This was the place where we had memorized so many scriptures because the senior pastor’s wife was a singer songwriter. She loved to put the Bible to music, which enabled us to learn Scripture seemingly without effort. We sang these songs over and over and found God’s Word was being hidden in our hearts. Romans 10:17 says…

“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

Singing these songs caused our faith to grow.

It was during this time when God was stirring our hearts that change was coming. We just didn’t know what. Our pastor, who had led our young couples ministry, believed God was calling him to plant a new church. He didn’t know where, when or how, but he knew it was certain. When he shared this with us, we were filled with faith for what God had in store.

In just a few months time we were sitting in this church for the last time.  They prayed God’s blessing over us as we were leaving to plant this new church. Tom and I had only been married 6 years with two small children ages 1 and 3. This was frightening and exciting at the same time. We felt somewhat like Abraham.

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” (emphasis mine)

Fast-forward 33 years to 2018.

We are still members of the church we planted in 1985. We have raised our three children here. All three were married here. We have continued to move forward in our walk with the Lord and our friendships have deepened. Our time together has been full of laughter, tears, heart-ache and victory. Each circumstance pointing us to our need for a Savior. We have dug more deeply into biblical truths like Grace, Humility, the Gospel, Stewardship, Parenting and Marriage, to name a few.

God has been faithful every step of the way.

Why do we share this with you? Because we believe being committed to a local, Bible-teaching church is the safest place for marriages to grow and mature. To be known and cared for by others who will hold you accountable to the vows you made on your wedding day is a sure way to love each other until death parts you.

All that we bring to this ministry is a direct result of the teaching and counsel we have received from our pastoral team and close friends. We can’t imagine where we would be without their godly example and input. Doing life with others, sharing the good and bad seasons of life, works together to grow us into mature followers of Christ. And we are thankful!

Who in your life has had the most profound impact on your marriage? Spend time talking about it on your next date night. We pray like us, your heart will fill with gratitude for God’s faithfulness to you year after year. This brings Him great glory!

 

Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Easter, Growing Strong Marriages, Holidays, Seasons of Life | Tagged ,

Celebrating Easter – The Motivation For All We Do

Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Easter, Holidays | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Hour

Gary Thomas

  • Taking Action – this post is challenging and practical for wives, but it also can apply to husbands if you change the gender as you read. Here is a quote to whet your appetite for more:

Your future depends on God, not on a fallen man. Your security rests with your caring Creator’s providence, not with your husband’s paycheck. Your acceptance as a person became secure when God adopted you, not when your husband proposed to you. If you truly want to love, motivate, and influence your husband, your first step must be to stay connected with God. Find your refuge, security, comfort, strength, and hope in him.

To Love, Honor and Vacuum

And for our local fans…

Orlando Date Night Guide

Happy Resurrection Day from our home to yours!

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour, Newlyweds | Tagged , , , ,

Date Night Challenge – “H” Date

Our “H”date began by going to lunch at one of Orlando’s best places for HOT DOGS. I found it by looking on Yelp, a great date night resource!

Sausage Shack, located on HANNIBAL SQUARE in Winter Park.

Next, we went to the Orlando HISTORICAL Museum, where we learned about our HISTORY before the Mouse.

A few fun facts:

Taffy Pull – My Mom taught us as kids how to make HOMEMADE taffy where it takes two to pull it back and forth until it’s the right consistency. But I had no idea they used this to monitor the courtship of their youth. 😊 They called it “Courting with Cane Candy”.

We learned about the citrus industry which brought my grandparents to Florida from Oklahoma in 1922.

And the traveling exhibit from the Smithsonian was called, Things Come Apart. It had displays of various objects taken apart piece-by-piece and photographed or framed for display, along with the total number of parts. We saw a Smartphone, typewriter, piano, and a DVD player to name a few. But the one that caught Tom’s attention the most was no surprise…

…one of his favorite Orlando icons, Beefy King. 😊

We ended our date going to an HISTORIC place, Dubsdread Tap Room, for their HAPPY HOUR special. This place opened in 1924 and is rich with HISTORY. My family lived a block away from the course when I was born.

A side fact we learned about Dubsdread Golf Course:

Amateur golfers were called “dubbers” and the golf course here was difficult; so much so they dreaded playing it. Thus the name!

When was the last time you visited the historical museum near you? We highly recommend it. You never know what you’ll learn.

____________________

Posted in Christian Marriage

13 Ways To Show Honor To Your Spouse

Elderly couple

Photo by Lotte Meijer on Unsplash

Tonight is our marriage community group, one of my favorite nights of the week. We are going through Gary Thomas’ book, Cherish, and learning so much. This week’s focus is on honoring your spouse.

Honor. It’s not a word we use very often when it comes to marriage, but we should. It is the highest form of respect and esteem. 

Dr. John Gottman is quoted in Gary’s book as saying, “Without honor, all the marriage skills one can learn won’t work.”

So I must ask the question. Do you honor your spouse? 

You may not have a clear answer to that question. Especially if you have not taken the time to ask your spouse, “In what ways do I show you honor?”

I encourage you to ask. You may be surprised to hear what being honored is to you, is completely different then what being honored is to your spouse. This is why it is imperative that we ask.

Once you listen to their answers (with your ears and eyes), make it your goal this week to honor them in a variety of ways. Be specific. Be genuine. And most of all, be kind.

Here are 13 ways we can honor our spouse:

  1. Noticing anything they do with gratitude.
  2. Giving your spouse your full attention when they are talking to you or others.
  3. How they appreciate the efforts of others.
  4. Their diligence in completing a job.
  5. Their integrity.
  6. Their financial faithfulness.
  7. Their pursuit of God and their growth in godliness.
  8. How they sincerely love of others.
  9. How they refrain from using harsh words.
  10. Being punctual.
  11. Their servant’s heart.
  12. Their strong work ethic
  13. Speaking well of them in public.

It is a privilege to live so close to one person in this life. Honoring them makes the time we have together all the more precious. 

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Posted in Christian Marriage

Wordless Wednesday #11

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