Out Of The Depths

Photo Credit: ymiblogging.org

This month is challenging.  We are facing one of the most difficult times in our lives.

No, we aren’t despairing over children who have walked away from the Lord.

We aren’t facing unfaithfulness in our marriage.

We are simply having to let go of life as we know it.  Letting go of what we want for what God wills.  It is hard.  But we trust GOD.  He alone is sovereign – which means simply, He controls all the details about which we tend to worry.

We were in the car last night and this song based on Psalm 130 played, “Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to you. When I am tempted to despair.” We were both caught up in the sweet presence of God.  He alone can help us when we are afraid.

When my (Debi) Dad was dying of brain cancer in 2003, it was worship alone which reached the depths of my pain.  I have learned in the hard times to run to Him.  He can comfort and help in a way that brings relief, strength and most of all hope.

He is faithful.

What trials are you facing today?  Take them to God who is ready to comfort you and help you.  Spend some time today worshiping the lover of your soul.  It will lift the burden in a way nothing else can.  This is the song we listened to – we believe it is anointed with the Spirit of God.  Let His presence lift you up and bring new perspective.  We are not as those who are without hope.

Posted in Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Music | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

So-So!

 

Photo Credit: WildEncounters.net

This describes my mood lately.  It is so-so.  If I let my mind follow my feelings I’m afraid I would spiral downward.  Why the melancholy mood?  Mainly because my daughter is moving the end of this month to Georgia.  Every day is marked with, “I won’t be able to do this with her…” thoughts.  Make-up is futile.  We have never lived far apart since the day she was born.  I thought when she left my house on her wedding day was hard enough.  It was, but this is even more so.

So-So!

 

Photo Credit: MonAmourphotography

Yet life goes on.  There is laundry to do, blogs to post, devotions to read, projects to complete and even weddings to plan.  Not to mention caring for my son and his family, my daughter who still lives at home, and my husband who works hard and needs time with me.  I can feel the pull to get in the car and just….go to the beach.  But my feelings would only go with me, attempting to spoil that as well.

What do we do when our feelings are hijacking our joy?  There is only one solution, and I believe it is the one God is after in the midst of these so-so moments.  Pray!  He desires us to come to Him with our so-so moods and offer them up in a sacrifice of praise.  Suddenly the word “sacrifice” here makes much more sense.  When you don’t feel happy, you certainly don’t feel like praising God.  But when we lay our feelings aside and do it anyway – this glorifies God in a way our good days never can.

Photo Credit: Don Moen album

This can be applied to our marriage too.  How many times have you simply not felt very loving toward your spouse?  Romance is so-so. Your commitment is there, just no intense or passionate feelings.  The answer is simple really – we keep doing what we know to do. Keep acting like you feel passionate and your feelings will follow.  Is this faking it?  It can “feel” like it, but again our feelings are misleading us.  It is good for our minds to tell our feelings what to feel.  When we do the opposite and let our feelings tell our minds we become self-focused and are greatly tempted to self-pity.

I know this post is unusual for The Romantic Vineyard.  I am giving you a glimpse into my heart, and the struggle I’m facing.  I hope hearing how God is helping me, will help you see His hand at work in your life and in your marriage too.

I am feeling so-so grateful to God that He isn’t swayed by my emotions.  Truth stands firm no matter how fickle the landscape, even when the landscape is leading away from my home to Georgia.  😦

How do you face these so-so moments?

Posted in Difficulty, Hindrances to Romance | 11 Comments

Mark Your Calendar

Photo Credit: Brad McCall

I came home from a weekend at the beach to find the markings of my 20 month old granddaughter scribbled all over, well – everything!  It started in the family room with red squiggly marks on my computer keyboard and mouse.  It moved around the room to the glass french doors – to the walls – to the kitchen cabinets – to the door by the garage – to the front door – to the hall and finally on my new Easter photo of me with my adorable grandchildren.  🙂

Willow LOVES to write and takes every opportunity she has to do it with all her heart.  If it weren’t on my walls (and everything else), I would encourage her all the more.  Her zeal knows no boundaries.  Nothing keeps her back, except maybe Mommy when she says “No!”

This is how it should be when we are passionate about something – like romancing our spouse.  If given the time is this the first thing on your “I want to do this!” list?  Why not plan some special alone time together to write sweet memories on the walls of your heart?  It will be worth the effort, and these markings won’t have to be scrubbed away!  Write on…

Photo Credit: wisewomanireland.blogspot.com

NOTE: Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of this post for information on a great new app for your smart phone.  It’s a wonderful date night resource, and it’s FREE.**

Fun Dates To Celebrate

4th

5th

  • National Read A Road Map Day – this could be a fun way to surprise your spouse.  Give them a map with clues and have them figure out where it is they are to meet you for a romantic rendezvous.  It may take a bit of planning, but sweet will be the reward.

6th

  • National Caramel Popcorn Day – buy a box of Cracker Jacks and watch some spring baseball.

7th

  • National No Housework Day – Now here is probably the most romantic day a husband could ever grant his wife – send her off today to enjoy doing anything she enjoys – but NO HOUSEWORK!

9th

  • National Cherish An Antique Day – spend an afternoon browsing your favorite antique stores.

10th

  • National Golfers Day – enjoy a game together or send your spouse out to enjoy a round with their friends.  Or you could set up a miniature golf course in your house using some imagination.

_____________________________________________

Now for what’s happening around Orlando this week, and there’s a lot:

CENTRAL

  • Florida Film Festival begins April 8th and goes through April 17th.  There is a whole host of events taking place including films being shown at the Enzian Theatre, Winter Garden Theatre and the Regal Winter Park Village.  Cost varies.
  • Orlando Museum of Art – First Thursdays is a monthly event offering jazz music, food and beverages for purchase in a great atmosphere.  The time is 6p – 9p.  Cost is FREE for members and $10 for non-members.
  • Winter Park – Morse Museum of Art opens it’s doors for FREE every Friday of the month from November to April.  The doors open at 4p and close at 8p.
  • Leu Gardens – Spring Jazz’n Blues Stroll on Saturday, April 9th from 6p – 10p.

NORTH

  • Altamonte Springs – Uptown Altamonte presents Friday Night Live on April 8th.  The concert is from 7p – 9p and is FREE.
  • Altamonte Springs – Sunset Cinema returns on Saturday, April 9th at Cranes Roost Plaza.  The movie is Evan Almighty and starts at 7p.  FREE.
  • Mt. Dora – Downtown Art Stroll on Friday, April 8th from 6p – 8p.  FREE.
  • Mt. Dora – Lakeside Inn hosts a Wine Tasting to benefit the Mt. Dora’s Women’s Club.  The event will be on Saturday, April 9th from 5p – 7p.  Cost is $20.
  • Mt. Dora – The Community Center will host L.C. Swing Band in concert on Sunday, April 10th at 3p.  FREE.
  • Tavares – The Central Florida Dragon Boat Festival will take place April 8th and 9th. We had no idea what this was about – the video on the website is worth taking a look.  Especially if you like percussion performances.

    EAST

    • New Smyrna Beach – Balloon and Sky Fest will take place April 8th – 10th.  Cost is $5 per vehicle.  See site for location and event schedule.

    SOUTH

    • Celebration, FL – Great American Pie Festival will take place April 9th and 10th in the city’s Towne Center.  Come enjoy a slice of a great American tradition.
    • Kissimmee – Family Spring Fest will take place April 7 – 10th at Osceola Heritage Park  Cost is FREE, but parking is $7.  See site for details.
    • Harmony, FL – Hosts the Dark Sky Festival on Saturday, April 9th from 6p – 11p.  The purpose of the festival is to enjoy the nighttime constellations using telescopes set up for the purpose of stargazing.  There will be all sorts of activities worth checking out.  See site for details.

    WEST

    • Winter Garden – Spring Fever in the Garden will take place Saturday and Sunday, April 9th and 10th in beautiful downtown Winter Garden.  Come purchase flowers of all kinds for your own garden and enjoy the many activities.  FREE.

    **Finally, for those of you with Smart Phones – there is a great new date night app available for FREE.  Scott Joseph, the local food critic has compiled an app which includes all the Orlando area restaurants.  It is chocked full of everything you need to pick a great date night location according to location, price, food offered and entertainment.  And it’s FREE.  That’s a four letter word we love to hear!  To access the app search for Orlando Restaurants.

      Posted in Cheap Dates, Creative Dates, Fun Dates, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | 4 Comments

      Slices

      Photo Credit: driftwooddesignsde.com

      Posted in Date Night Ideas | Comments Off on Slices

      Happy Hour

       

      Photo Credit: ricsrestaurant.com

      Welcome to our new weekly feature – Happy Hour, which we will post at 5p. each and every Friday.  This is the time when we share with you special blog posts that have stood out to us the past week.  In the 2 1/2 years since we’ve begun The Romantic Vineyard, the Lord has led us to some amazing blogs.  They are couples like us with a desire to glorify God by encouraging marriages to be all He intends for them to be.  We hope this will help your marriage as they have helped ours.

      Thank you to all the blogs who work so hard to help us in this great endeavor.  We count it a privilege to be named among you as a marriage blog.

      Posted in Blog Love, Date Night Ideas, Happy Hour | Comments Off on Happy Hour

      Fragrant Aroma – 4 and 19

      Photo Credit: Tripadvisor.com

      This past week we had the opportunity to go to lunch with some friends who have been married a little over a year.  We love to spend time with newlyweds – they have an energy and eagerness to learn about marriage that is refreshing.  They asked about our relationship and the lessons we had learned through the years.  This question is usually answered with the following:

      We have been married for 32 years – 30 of those happy ones.

      We give each other a knowing smile remembering those two years (year 3 and 18) as if they were yesterday.  They ask more questions wanting to hear our story – including the specifics in an effort to glean from us what they can.  Something that used to make us uncomfortable has now become a joy because when we recall our story it isn’t about US and what WE did;  it’s about God and what He is doing.

      After hearing the details they asked a question no one has ever asked us before, “So how were year 4 and 19?”

      We literally had to ask them to repeat the question.  It was a great question., and it made us think long and hard of our answer.  Although we don’t remember the details of those two years as clearly as we do of the two years which proceed them, one thing we know – those two years were when God completely rerouted the direction of our marriage.  It was a correction worth making, even with all the heartache.  Had we not gone through it – who knows where we would be today.

      Photo Credit: Smiffy's Big Road Trip blog

      God in His mercy and kindness took our road, lifted it up and set it back down on a straight and narrow path.  Once things settled in place, the path those two years set in place led us to many years of a changed marriage with lasting fruit.  And we know it isn’t fruit of our own making – we’re simply allowing God to be all and do all He desires in our hearts.  As we respond to Him He makes all things beautiful, even two sinners who said, “I Do.”

      So how do you view the years God has given you?  Are you experiencing the heartache of year 3 or the tremendous blessing of year 4?  Be encouraged God promises to be with us every day of every year, and He will never leave us!

       

       

       

      Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, communication, Difficulty, Forgiveness | 1 Comment

      10 Hindrances To Cultivating A Romantic Vineyard

      #10 – Critical Judgments

      Cartoon by Kim Casali

      Today marks our final hindrance to cultivating a romantic vineyard, and it is so common many couples may not even realize how this is effecting their marriage.  Critical judgments as opposed to charitable judgments are like a disease that eats away the life and love in our relationship.

      Photo Credit: Pacific Ag & Vineyard

      To use our analogy once again of a vineyard keeper – one who is critical surveys his beautiful landscape and only sees whats wrong.  It jumps out at him so he can’t enjoy all the good.

      And in marriage how quick we can be to only see what our spouse is doing wrong and completely ignore all they do right.  There is a place for helping our spouse see where they need to grow and change, but for every correction we should give 10 encouragements. Otherwise we’re tearing our house down with our own words.

      On the Marriage Gems blog yesterday, Lori Lowe posted “Focusing on What’s Missing in Life Can Cause You to Miss What’s There.” She basically explains how many marriages aren’t happy because they never get all they think they need to be happy. She writes about Dennis Prager’s Missing Tile Syndrome:

      If you’re looking at a tiled ceiling or floor and one tile is missing, your eye will be drawn to that missing tile, and you’ll continue to focus on that missing tile rather than the rest of the tiles. Dennis Prager calls this the “Missing Tile Syndrome” and says it explains why many of us focus on what is missing in our lives instead of what we have. This tendency causes us much unhappiness.

      It isn’t easy to re-route our thinking, especially if this has become a habit.  It will take commitment and diligence and maybe even the accountability of friends to help you see when you’re being critical.  In fact, there’s a good chance if you are critical at home you may be doing the same thing to others in your life.

      We have found the Peacemaker Ministry of Ken Sande to be quite helpful in understanding this sin.  He provides an excellent article titled,  Charitable Judgments: An Antidote to Judging Others, we highly recommend if you are currently experiencing critical judgments towards others.  Even if you aren’t, it will help you as you seek to help those with whom you relate in your life.

      Posted in Hindrances to Romance | 1 Comment

      T.A.X.I.N.G.

      This is a great picture that captures our week so far.  Since it was raining Monday night, we played a fun game of Scrabble for our weekly date night.  I love Scrabble, but Tom doesn’t, and he won’t usually play with me because of my close relationship with W.O.R.D.S.  The most amazing part is that this date night was Tom’s idea not mine!  (Great job, Babe!)

      In addition, we have been busy helping my mom get her records in order to meet with her CPA this week.  We just got home from her house a few minutes ago after spending most of the day babysitting for my daughter who is moving away in 4 weeks (something I still can’t think of without tears).  She was in desperate need of time to pack without her two children underfoot.

      Needless to say I have been feeling a whole spectrum of emotions.  God is helping me face each day and not borrow tomorrow’s trouble, but it’s not easy.

      So, playing a game was exactly what I needed to get my mind off of life for a few minutes and simply enjoy spelling a high-scoring word, while sitting across the table from my opponent and best friend in this life.

      I spent today crunching numbers, holding toddlers, picking dandelions, making dinner, driving my mom to the doctor and talking with CPA’s.  This is my life; I am caught in the middle – caring for four generations.  But even in the tiredness and emotions I know that I know that this is what God has called me to do.  He will help me tomorrow as He has helped me today.

      Taxing?  Y.E.S.  And that word in Scrabble would be worth 14 points all by itself. Imagine what it will be worth in eternity?

       

      Posted in Difficulty, Slices | Tagged | 2 Comments

      Eradicate or Irrigate?

      Willow

      Last Saturday morning we were babysitting one of our grandchildren.  Tom made eggs for her – very sweet.  Then, he made breakfast for himself – yes, he loves to cook.  Finally, he sat down to enjoy it.

      About this time I had just finished helping Willow get started with her breakfast when I noticed – no breakfast for me?!  I immediately started thinking, “Why didn’t he fix anything for me?  He only thinks about himself, etc…”  I was in the middle of this thought process (which is never a healthy way to think), when I heard another voice in my heart say, “Eradicate or Irrigate?” I had a choice to make – feed it or kill it. Here’s the conversation which followed:

      “Tom, I’m being tempted to be upset with you.”

      “Really?  Why?”

      I proceed to tell him, and Tom says, “I’m sorry, you don’t usually eat eggs, I’ll make some for you.” (see the unselfish husband I married?)

      “That’s not why I’m telling you – I’m sorry I noticed it in the first place.  Second, I don’t want to be this way!”

      And the conflict was completely eradicated.  I could also give you many examples where I’ve irrigated the irritations, but let’s suffice it to say – it’s not pretty.  In fact, this is sin in it’s basic, ugly form.

      Photo Credit: Jim Richardson/Corbis

      These are moments where temptation pours in like a flood.  In farming terms it could be related to irrigation.  In essence we’re pouring water on those little irritations which helps the irritation grow between us.

      Instead, we should be eradicating them.

      “Eradicate” – according to Webster’s 1828 Dictionary means:

      To pull up the roots, or by the roots. Hence, to destroy anything that grows; to extirpate; to destroy the roots, so that the plant will not be reproduced; as, to eradicate weeds.

      So why are we tempted to irrigate instead of eradicate?  Because we’re sinners in need of a Savior, and it’s a whole lot easier to open the floodgates than it is to pull up a plant by its roots.

      Last Saturday I was able to completely eradicate this argument.  What could have ruined the day ended up being just a bump in the road.  I am grateful to God I was alert to this temptation, and even more thankful for the analogy He provided.  It made it easier to stop.   If given a conscious choice I would never choose to irrigate my irritations, but often I’m way down the road heading the wrong way before I even notice.

      What about you?  Do you find it easier to eradicate or irrigate?

      Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, Temptation | Tagged | 5 Comments

      Mark Your Calendar

      Photo Credit: janussyndicate

      This is the last week of March – hard to believe isn’t it?  It’s a great time to assess how we’re doing with our New Year goals.  It seems like only yesterday we were ringing in the new year – how is it we’re already a quarter of the way into 2011?  Anyway, enough of lamenting the passage of time.  It’s more important to plan our time well, so we have no regrets when the year is through.

      Fun Dates To Celebrate:

      28th

      • National Black Forest Cake Day – if we keep celebrating all these dessert-themed holidays – we may have to lose a few.  🙂
      • National Something on a Stick Day – corn dogs, lollipops, or try the new ‘Cake on a Stick’ at Starbucks.

      29th

      • National Mom and Pop Business Day – With Main Street slowly being replaced by the mall’s parking lot, small, specialized shops are an endangered species! Let’s rally together to visit at least one Mom and Pop shop today.

      30th

      • National Walk in the Park Day – Plan to meet at the park for a brisk walk, or go after dinner for a leisurely stroll.  This is a great time of year to be outdoors.

      31st

      • Eiffel Tower Day – it was on this date in 1889 when the famous Eiffel Tower in Paris was inaugurated.  Why not celebrate by eating french crepes or renting a movie set in this romantic city of lights.

      April is National Poetry Month, Jazz Appreciation Month and Grilled Cheese Month.

      1st

      • April Fool’s Day – yes, it really is – I’m not foolin’.

      2nd

      • National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day – pack your sweetie a lunch with this special treat.

      3rd

      • World Pillow Fight Day – you could always have a fun time competing for King of the Bed.  To make it more fun – do it naked.  🙂

      Great Date Ideas for this week in Central Florida:

      CENTRAL

      • Uptown Altamonte – Friday Night Live Unplugged will take place at Crane’s Roost Park on the 1st.  Show runs from 7p – 9p.  FREE.
      • Uptown Altamonte – Winestock – Saturday, April 2nd from 4 – 8p. Tickets are $30 in advance and $40 at the door.  A Marvelous day of Wine, Entertainment, Food and Fun!
      • Harry P. Leu Gardens – presents Date Night in the Garden on Friday, April 1st.  The garden opens at 6p. and the movie begins at 8:30p.  The cost is $7, but is free for Garden Members.  This month’s featured film is Iron Man 2.
      • Lake Eola – Spring Fiesta in the Park on Saturday and Sunday, April 2nd and 3rd.  The event is FREE.
      • Orlando Parade of Homes 2011 – Saturday, April 2 – Sunday, April 10th.  Check site after April 1st for locations of homes on the parade.  FREE.
      • Winter Park – Music at the Casa series on Sunday, April 3rd.  Admission to the home is FREE.  Live music is presented this week by Duo Arundo with Carrie Wiesinger – flute, guitar duo.

      NORTH

      • Mt. Dora – Mt. Dora Sailing Regatta will take place April 2 – 3 on the shores of beautiful Lake Dora.  See site for details.
      • Sanford – Jazzed in Sanford on Saturday, April 2nd in downtown Sanford.  The concert will take place in Magnolia Square from 4p – 7p.  FREE.
      • Sanford – Brews Around The Zoo will take place on Saturday, April 2nd from 6p – 10p.  An International Tasting of Food, Wines, Beer.  Admission is $35 in advance and $40 at the door.

      SOUTH

      Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Comments Off on Mark Your Calendar

      Project Simplify – Week 3

      This week our hot spot was to organize our children’s toys and clothes.  Since my youngest is 24, I didn’t think I qualified for this hot spot, until I took a good look at my four grandchildren’s playroom!  It’s funny the messes they make don’t look nearly as upsetting as the messes my children used to make.  These messes make me smile!  🙂

      But since I’m doing the challenge I thought it would be good to take a “Mommy look” at their playroom, instead of the usual “Nana look.”  I was shocked – it really DID need organizing, so I set to work.

      Here are my before pictures:

      And here are the AFTER pictures:

      But you must know that before this post was even up – the sweet little grandchildren showed up and pulled out all my wonderful organizational efforts – oh well!  It’s a happy mess.  Glad I took the pictures to prove my work!

      Posted in Slices, Wives | Tagged | 2 Comments

      A Fragrant Aroma – Honor Where Honor Is Due

       

      Photo Credit: inJesus.com

      It was Sunday night when the doorbell rang.  The first of our family arriving to celebrate my Mom’s 89th birthday.  We gathered together spur of the moment because my sister was in town. Everyone had full schedules, so we made it simple – pizza and store bought sweet tea.  But the one crowning course of our meal was the cake.

      Our daughter-in-love, Ashley, is amazing when it comes to baking and decorating cakes. When she asked for an idea for a theme to use – I suggested oranges.  You see, my Mom moved to Florida in 1922 when she was only 9 months old.  Her parents mortgaged their land in Oklahoma to come here and invest in citrus.  My grandparents planted two large groves in Lake County the following year, and this became their sole means of support  for decades – through the depression, the 2nd World War, and many Presidents until the groves were all killed in back-to-back freezes in the early 80’s.

      We have fond memories of rotten orange fights, sweet homemade ambrosia and the best hide and go seek playground a kid could ever wish for.  It was a sad day for all of us when our beloved playground and family business was destroyed.  But the memories we have will never fade.

      Imagine my Mom’s delight when Ashley brought in this cake:

       

      A crate...cake full of oranges

      We were all amazed.  And it tasted even better than it looks – it was orange flavored cake!  My Mom didn’t want to cut into it, so we took lots of pictures first. 🙂

      But the best part of the night for me was when Bristol, (our oldest granddaughter, almost 4) snuggled up with Gigi on the couch.  My Mom now has 8 great-grandchildren, and they all adore her.  We captured a very special moment of one of the youngest among us showing honor to whom honor is due.

      There will be a day when I am my Mom’s age and hopefully enjoying lots of great-grandchildren too.  This is why it matters how we build our marriages.  There are generations yet to be born who will need what God has shown us through all our years on this earth.  Make the most of the time, for as the Bible says…it is short!

      We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,and the wonders that he has done.

      Psalm 78:4

       

       

      Who in your life is worthy of honor?  Take time this weekend to tell them.

      Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Purpose | 1 Comment

      10 Hindrances To Cultivating A Romantic Vineyard

      #9 – Busyness

       

      Photo Credit: romantic-getaway-in-minnesota.com

      A few years ago Tom took me away for a romantic night alone without the kids.  It was an unexpected blessing, but he made a few stipulations as we were driving away from home.

      “Here’s the deal – there will be no talking about children, work, church life, or extended family.  This is time for us, and we will only talk about us.”

      I was excited, even though I’m the talker in our relationship.  I thought it was a great idea until I started to say something…(whoops, I can’t say that!)  I waited a while enjoying the silence when Tom started and stopped himself before two words had left his lips.  Uh-oh, he can’t say that either!

      This wasn’t as easy as we had thought.  And all the more reason it was good for us.

      Life has a way of crowding in on marriages leaving little room for romance.  And they’re usually all very good things.  Who doesn’t want to make much of children, work, church and extended family.  These are all God-given and to be enjoyed.

      B.U.T.

      God made us, as husband and wife different from all those other important relationships.  We are one, and if these other relationships are crowding out much needed one-on-one time as husband and wife we are to stop and take stock of where we are and where we’re heading.

       

      Photo Credit: Vineyard Estate Properties

      Imagine a vineyard where the vines spread out in all directions for as far as the eye can see.  It’s impressive seeing the expanse of row upon row.  But if you look carefully the vines are lacking much needed attention.  The vine grower can’t possibly tend to all this – he’s spread himself too thin.

      As the sun begins to set, he hears the Lord calling him to come and sit with him awhile.

       

      Photo Credit: Stall Video Production

      Let me still your heart.  Let me show you the balance.  Let me show you how to make the main thing – the main thing, namely ME.  As you set your priorities straight once again, I will help you be still in order to hear my voice.  I will help you be still long enough to reconnect with your spouse.  You both need this time to be still, for it’s in the stillness where the fresh buds of affection break forth for Me and for each other.

      So, when was the last time you and your spouse were still together?  Why not pick a time and sit together and simply do nothing.  Leave your phones in the other room, turn off the TV, set no agenda other than being together.

      Here is one of our favorite worship songs by Watermark that always helps us when life has become too busy.

       

      Posted in Hindrances to Romance | Tagged | 5 Comments

      Bud Break

      You may think “Bud Break” is just a beer served during Spring Break on the beach, but you would be wrong.


      Bud Break is the term used in the vineyard when the first signs of spring arrive.  It is when the first leaves break out and usually occurs in March.  This promises another year of growth – another year of harvest.

      Did you know the first three leaves which appear on the vine are actually from the previous fall’s harvest?  The leaves as well as the tiny clusters of fruit are stored in the bud and stay dormant throughout the long cold winter.  No matter how harsh the weather the leaves and fruit are safe.

      Photo Credit: Ed Hellman

      The fourth leaf and beyond all grow as a result of photosynthesis – the warmth of the sun allows the vine to produce it’s own growth.  This all sounds so scientific, but what is true on the vine is true in life.  Allowing the warmth of God’s Truth to penetrate our weary vines will enable us to grow and mature.

      This is a good time to assess the vineyard and see which vines are in need of attention and which vines are growing along nicely. It is during this time when you can see how many clusters of grapes each vine will produce.  The vine dresser actually chooses if the grape clusters are too many for one vine to handle and prune accordingly.

      Photo Credit: Valley Girl Vineyards

      Considering our marriages, this is also a good time of year to take stock of our bud break, so to speak.  How have your vines weathered the cold of conflicts and the freezing temperatures of the flailing economy?  These are difficult times, and our marriages are not immune to the devastating effects, that is, left to themselves. But we aren’t left to ourselves; God has kept us safe within His care.

      He is the Supreme vine dresser, and He is very attentive to every branch of our vine (our marriage).  He knows us well, and He knows how much fruit will be harvested even in the early stages of Spring.

      This is a time to celebrate the growth we see and take stock of the areas in which we are wasting energy.  We must be willing to say “no” to those things which are inhibiting growth in our relationship.  This could be financial, relational, or emotional.  Don’t insist on keeping things in your relationship that God is obviously wanting to remove.

      If you have hobbies which are draining the life and time out of your marriage – stop.  If you are so busy with others, children included, that you have no time or energy to give your spouse – stop.  If you are neglecting time together due to financial pressures, realize this is an area you cannot afford to neglect.  Marriage is an investment that always requires our constant attention.  Failing to tend to it will guarantee a poor harvest, if any at all.

      Why?  Why all the effort to tend to our vineyard?  Because when we said our vows it wasn’t just to each other;  it wasn’t just to those witnessing from the seats;  it was in the presence of God Himself.  He not only heard your vows, He sealed them in Heaven and grafted two separate vines together as one.  No matter how many harvests your marriage has endured, God has not for one minute taken His eye off of you.  He is watching for the fruit, and His is a fruit which will remain.

       Hope

      This is a bud break worth celebrating!  Growth in our vineyard means God is still at work and as long as He is…

      WE HAVE HOPE!

      How have your vines weathered the winter?  Are you seeing bud break to the fourth leaf and beyond?

      We’d love to get to know you…

      ← Back

      Thank you for your response. ✨

      Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Purpose | Tagged | Comments Off on Bud Break

      A Bon Voyage Party

      Photo: Sweetie Pie Cakes

      Today we want to throw a Bon Voyage party in our Vineyard!  We are rejoicing with a friend who has begun TODAY to do something God has wanted her to do.  We’ve all been there – hearing God speak, even convicting us of the changes needed and the steps He wants us to take, but life gets in the way.  We continue living the way we always have until God, in His mercy, taps us on the shoulder and says, “Remember Me? I have something I want you to do.”

      I am a part of a small Writer’s Group.  I have been for years.  Our group provides much needed motivation, teaching, encouragement and most of all friendship between those who are like-minded in one sense – we desire to use our gift to the best of our ability to glorify God.  Some have been published, some have been educationally trained as writers, some are novices (I’m at the top of the list!) and some make us laugh (Bonnie is at the top of this list!)

      And she is the one setting sail today on the great big blogging sea.  Why?  Why another blog?  Because God has told her to, and she is stepping out in obedience to His lead.  We are excited to see what God will do in her and through her.  And most of all we are excited you will get to know her.  She sees life in a way that is both humorous and meaningful.  And her blog will allow us all to get a fresh glimpse of the lighter side of life.

      The blog is titled, Ship Bound for Tarshish.  A strange name to be sure – makes you want to giggle.  But it is fraught with meaning – as is Bonnie.  She always makes me laugh, but her friendship is a treasure.  She helps me see me from a different perspective, and maybe now you’ll be able to enjoy her perspective too.

      Congratulations, Bonnie! We are throwing a party in your honor.  This post is like we’re donating a bottle of champagne from our Vineyard to christen your maiden voyage with today’s post!  May God bless your writing and give you faith for the journey.  I am so glad your here!

       

      Posted in Blog Love, humor | 2 Comments

      Mark Your Calendar

       

      Artwork: Edie Showalter Fagan

      What an amazing weekend;  We attended the Sex Matters Conference held at our church – Metro Life in Casselberry, FL.  It was full of rich reminders the gift sex is to us as couples, and even more the reminder of how God sees it.  We’re sure we’ll be sharing with you much of what we gleaned from the excellent teaching from Tim Lane, David Powlison, Winston Smith, Ed Welch and Mike Emlet.  A huge thank you to CCEF for sending this conference our way! (Check out their website for lots of Biblical wisdom.  Definitely worth your time!)

      We pray you’re continuing to find ways to celebrate the simple moments of life.  Tom and I walked the Winter Park Art Festival this afternoon, and even in the midst of the crowds, we were able to relax together as I held Tom’s arm.

       

      It was a fun couple of hours to enjoy before we came home and worked on TAXES.  Yep, that wasn’t so much fun, especially given the fact we had already done this once;  Tom’s computer crashed taking with it all the work we had previously completed.  The only good in it to be found was the fact that we were together.

      Fun Dates To Celebrate

      21

      • National French Bread Day – celebrate by making homemade paninis or roast beef au jus.

      22

      • World Water Day – celebrate by taking a bath together.  And on a more serious note – remember those who don’t have clean water to drink.  What a blessing a fresh glass of clean water is to the thirsty.  If you feel inclined check our Charity Water to make a donation to help those who lack fresh water in other countries.

      23

      • National Chip and Dip Day
      • National Organize Your Home Office Day – sometimes it takes a national holiday to get us to tackle projects.
      • National Puppy Day

      24

      • National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day – Now here’s one you can sink your teeth into.  I don’t like raisins, but I LOVE Raisinettes.  Celebrate by watching movie together.

      25

      • International Waffle Day – no waffling allowed! Be decisive about having waffles for breakfast.

      26

      • National Make Up Your Own Holiday – We like this one!  In fact, we may adopt this holiday to celebrate celebrating.  Think of your own special something to celebrate and make it an annual event on your calendar.

      27

      • National “Joe” Day – If you or your spouse’s name is Joe, then you’re to be celebrated today!  If your name isn’t Joe, well today it can be.  On this holiday everyone is called JOE!  Celebrate by wearing Joe Boxers and sipping a hot cup of Joe.
      • Quirky Country Music Day – Yes, country music has some of the most interesting song titles in the entire music industry.  Have some fun writing your spouse a special note using only song titles.  Quirky? YES!  Romantic? Well….

      Photo Credit: Susan Friedman

      Now for what’s happening around O-town this week:

      CENTRAL

      • Downtown Orlando – Lake Eola presents the 2nd Annual Chillounge Night on Saturday, March 26th beginning at 6p.  Come enjoy our beautiful city park as it is transformed with beautiful outdoor furniture, live music and great food.  Cost is $20 per person for General Admission and $85 per person for VIP.

      NORTH

      EAST

      • Oviedo – The Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra will be offering a FREE concert on Saturday, March 26th at St. Luke’s Lutheran Church.  The concert begins at 7p.
      • Titusville – Thursday Night Live on March 24th.  Come enjoy live Latin music in the Courtyard in Downtown Titusville. FREE.  Don’t forget your chairs!
      • Titusville – Hot Dog in the City on Saturday, March 25th from 6p – 8p.  All kinds of hot dogs will be available – Chicago Style, Pittsburgh, Pink’s-Hollywood, Big Bayou, Coney Island, Atlanta, New York, Kansas City or build your own.

      WEST

      • Clermont – Lakeridge Winery presents their Annual Wine and Seafood Festival to support the Autism Society on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, March 25th – 27th. Times are from 10a – 5p.   Cost is a $2 donation.
      Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Comments Off on Mark Your Calendar

      Project Simplify – Week 2

       

      Photo Credit: Free-extras.com

      This week’s challenge was a real bear – Paper Clutter.  He’s been hibernating in my home for too long, so I firmly told him it was Spring, and he would have to go!  I’m happy to say I had success.  I just pray when he comes looking for a place to hole up next winter, I’ll have more organized guests already occupying the space….we’ll see.

      Here is my before picture with piles on our coffee table from all over the house:

      And here is my after picture – all I have left is to go through my ‘task’-it basket, but I needed Tom’s help.  We’ll be sure to do it ASAP!

      Ah – I feel ten pounds lighter – and no grumpy old bear growling at me.

      A big thanks to SimpleMom.net for setting up this 5 week challenge.  Our next hot spot will be assigned on Monday.  I just pray I can keep it up!

      How did you do?

       

      Posted in Slices, Wives | Tagged | 1 Comment

      A Fragrant Aroma – Sex Matters

      We are attending a conference this weekend by C.C.E.F (Christian Counseling Educational Foundation), a group committed to helping Christians learn how to both receive and give biblical counsel.  We have had the privilege several times to attend these seminars, and we are always challenged, motivated and most of all encouraged in our relationship.

      The title – Sex Matters – reveals the featured topic, and although we haven’t addressed it much on our site, we thank God for the very special gift sex is!  I have always held the belief that sex is a barometer in marriage – it usually isn’t the problem itself, but reveals the relationship is off in one or more other areas.

      Sex is usually the first thing to be affected when there is stress or unresolved conflict between husband and wife.  Think about it – who feels romantically inclined when you’re stewing over unkind words or actions?  It shouldn’t be used as punishment intentionally, but often we do it anyway.  We roll over in bed giving huge “beware” signals by our silence.

      How can we change?  By keeping a short record of wrongs suffered.  Be quick to acknowledge how you have neglected or hurt your spouse.  Be humble and willing to listen to their point of view.  Once you begin to practice communicating this way, you will soon discover sex really does matter, and so do all the other ways we communicate.

      Winston Smith is one of the biblical counselors with CCEF, and below is a video we want to share with you where he answers the question: Am I obligated to have sex whenever my spouse wants? It is less than five minutes and definitely worth your time! Before you do, however, won’t you take a moment to consider how you would answer this question?  His answer may or may not match yours.  But one thing is for sure –  his answer will be based on biblical truth.

      Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, communication, Intimacy | 4 Comments

      10 Hindrances To Cultivating A Romantic Vineyard

      #8 – Friendships

      Photo: Carlton Hill Vineyard

      Can you imagine a vineyard owner who worked hard all year to produce great wine that he never enjoyed himself?  He painstakingly goes through all the necessary steps to make a great product and gives it all away.  This would be absurd, but many marriages do it; they give their best away to others leaving their spouse thirsty and alone.

      This might sound extreme, but friendships can be detrimental to your marriage if they are given a higher priority than your spouse.

      With husbands it can look like this:

      • Hanging out with the guys.
      • Watching/playing sports
      • Time at the gym working out
      • Jamming with the band
      • Video games, esp. all nighters!
      • Playing pool or darts at the local sports bar
      • Gaming on the computer with your buds
      • Working late with colleagues

      You’ll notice all the husband’s friendships revolve around things they enjoy DOING together.  There’s a camaraderie which develops over years as friends.  It can become cliquish leaving his wife to simply join in by providing snacks, if she doesn’t enjoy the activity, or playing/going along in order to be with her husband.  Once children arrive in the family this becomes harder and harder to do and the marriage is set adrift.

      Photo: Stacy Wegley from girlfriendology.com

      With wives it can look like this:

      • Talking with girlfriends on the phone, computer, or texting
      • Going shopping together – and talking
      • Book clubs – to talk about what they’ve read
      • Spa days – to be pampered and catch up
      • sScrapbooking – reminiscing about the pictures their cropping
      • Play days at the park – where the children play, while the moms talk
      • Going to the gym to work out

      You’ll notice all the wife’s activities revolve around relationship.  They do things together, but for the purpose of connecting through conversation.  They enjoy TALKING.  The level of regular, heart-felt conversation between girlfriends can be difficult for a husband to understand, much less participate.

      These differences are usually most obvious in the first few years of marriage.  It is hard for the husband to let go of priorities he had as a single.  It is hard for the wife to let go as well.  We’re not saying friendships are bad – they simply must be moved to the back burner, so to speak, so the marriage can be front and center in the mind and heart of both husband and wife.

      When we were first married, Tom lived in Bradenton, FL.  I moved from all my family and friends in Orlando to a new city, a new home, a new husband and nothing familiar.  It was hard, and I was so very homesick.  We agreed for the first year of our marriage we would take on no outside commitments.  We wanted to have undistracted time in order to adjust to being US.  We had no idea how this would form the strong foundation we have today.  God knew this was exactly what we needed to set a new precedent, a new normal in our life as husband and wife.  It was hard, but so good!

      How about your marriage?

      Does your spouse know without a doubt that they are your highest priority?  Or have other relationships filled in the spaces which should be reserved for them alone?  The best way to find out is to ask your spouse.  Here are a few questions to consider:

      1. Do you feel I make you my highest priority?
      2. In what ways could I improve in this area?
      3. What do I do that communicates how important you are to me?
      4. How do you see my friendships?  Healthy or unhealthy?
      5. What activities do you wish I didn’t do so much?
      6. What friendships, if any, do you think are not good for me – for us?

      Let these be a springboard for taking an honest assessment of your relationship.  There are no right and wrong ways.  Each marriage is uniquely different, so you must determine what’s best for your vineyard together.  Just be sure you aren’t giving your best away – no vineyard could survive such a practice!  And besides – you don’t know what you’re missing until you take that first sip!

      Photo: winecountry.com

       

      Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Hindrances to Romance | 4 Comments

      Constrained or Compromised?

      Driving down the road they stand as deformed sentinels declaring to everyone, “I was here first!”  Yet progress moves forward without regard for the hows, whys or who’s in the way.  I’m talking about beautiful trees mutilated by the onslaught of power lines going through their branches as pictured here.

      Photo Credit: Photo of the Day website

      I never understand why they do this.  What’s worse is when small trees are planted below power lines knowing that in only a few short years they will need to be deformed as well.  Why not plan better?  Why not relocate the plantings or rework the power lines?  It seems like someone failed or didn’t understand the growth of the tree, and besides – it’s ugly!

      On the contrary there are trees deliberately planted around a wire with the intent of altering it’s shape.  These are beautiful and can cost lots of money.  You’ve seen these as well – topiary trees as pictured below.

      Photo: Hito Topiary Nursery

      This metaphor is a great example of how we view our boundaries in marriage.  When we say our vows to one another we are making a promise to love them, respect them, be devoted to them and to support them in all seasons of life.  Those who take these vows seriously are like the topiary trees.  They see their vows as healthy constraints to help them as they grow year after year.  They don’t inhibit growth, but direct it in a way that is unique and beautiful.  People are drawn to beautiful topiaries in the same way they are drawn to beautiful marriages.

      Now consider the deformed trees hacked away to allow for power lines, these are marriages where no real thought is given to where, how or why they commit.  The point to them is simply, “I’m in the ground aren’t I?  What’s the big deal? We’re married, aren’t we?”

      These are the marriages where several years down the road bits and pieces are whittled away allowing outside influences to have their way.  No effort is made to save the tree – it’s all about making room for other priorities.  Can the tree continue to grow?  Certainly, but it won’t grow strong and mature – it can’t; the heart and health of the tree has been compromised.

      How is your marriage?  Are you allowing outside influences to have more say in your relationship than they should?  Or are you taking your vows seriously enough to make cuts where needed? These outside influences can be:

      • work
      • friendships
      • in-laws
      • hobbies
      • even church activities or ministry

      All of these if given more influence than they deserve can be detrimental to the growth and strength of your marriage.

      Take some time today to ponder your own vineyard.  We guarantee it is more enjoyable to visit a garden full of topiary trees than one planted alongside the road with holes and branches missing.

      Is your marriage constrained or compromised?

       

      Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged | 4 Comments