We’ve all been there; we have great expectations for a date, a vacation, a party or even weather. And when the time comes it is “less than”.
This summer Tom and I had great expectations for time away in New England. We wanted a break from the Florida heat. Instead, we took the heat with us!
Vermont and Maine had a 70 year record-breaking heat wave. We couldn’t help but think we had brought it with us. We still made the most of our time, but if we are honest, it was disappointing.
What do we do with these set backs? We thank God!
You heard that right. It glorifies God when we thank Him for what’s given over what is expected.
As I write this we are possibly facing another disappointment, so this is more a reminder for us than it may be for you.
Whatever expectations you may have right now—offer them to God in humble surrender. Ultimately we want His will over ours. And these momentary afflictions are creating a way for us to glorify Him in ways we might never choose.
We are away this week, and we will see if this time goes as we hoped or if God chooses something better. Either way we win.
Current view
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Thank you for continually visiting our vineyard. We are grateful for your desire to make the most of the time you’ve been given as husband and wife. Everyday is an adventure whether expected or not!
Fried rice is a favorite of mine because it uses up leftovers in a fresh way. And there is no limit to the varieties you can make.
Last week Tom was making chicken wings and fried rice seemed the perfect side. The only problem—I didn’t have any leftover rice. So I made some and cooked it. Then I placed it on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and placed in the freezer for 15 minutes.
While the rice was chilling, I prepped the other ingredients by dicing them: white onions, green onions, garlic, jalapeños, carrots and celery. I also had leftover green peas to add as well as chopped parsley for a garnish.
It turned out better than I remembered. I must make this more often—it’s that good! If you would like to try it you’ll find the recipe on the Gimme Some Oven website.
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Welcome to our new followers. We hope you’ll be encouraged in your marriage as well as inspired in the kitchen. We are foodies who love to cook and eat! And we love sharing what we love with you. Thanks for stopping by.
Hump Day is hump day! Let your imagination prompt you!
Grateful that there is only one who can fulfill all the longings of your heart—spirit, soul and body. God has joined you as one…enjoy the gift of oneness.
This past week was our last community group meeting for the summer. Our church has groups that meet for three months and then takes one off. August is an “off” month.
Our CG leader decided to have us spend this last night sharing encouragements with each other. We had no particular order, but by the end of the evening the goal was for everyone to be filled with encouragement—hearing about qualities others see in you.
It was a good exercise, as it says in Hebrews:
“But exhort [encourage] one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Hebrews 3:13 ESV (emphasis mine)
This leads to a challenge we want to make, that is if you and your spouse are up for it.
Plan a date night either at home, a quiet park, a coffee shop or any place where you aren’t distracted. The purpose is to encourage each other sincerely with things you love and appreciate about your spouse. So often we think these things, but never purpose to say them. Let’s change that!
Your marriage will benefit from encouragement, as flowers do that are well-watered.
Here are some questions to get you started:
What is something your spouse does regularly that makes your life easier?
What is something they do that makes you laugh?
What do you admire most about your spouse, think character qualities.
What strengths does your spouse have that you depend on?
We pray this starts a new practice in all of our relationships, one where we build each other up on a regular basis.
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We can’t express how much it encourages us that you take the time to read, like and comment here. It represents your desire to have a healthy marriage—and this is our greatest desire.
We want to see marriages strengthened to glorify God. It is the one relationship that mirrors Christ and His love for the church!
Imagine living in a house that had one door you never opened; one room ignored. It is avoided because neither spouse wants to go there. Instead both go the long way around it as they live their days together. The thought of going through that door would open up a mess they aren’t willing to see, much less clean. But it would also open up more space in which to enjoy life together.
There is one question, when asked sincerely, opens up a door of conversation you either really need to have to help your marriage heal, or to confirm your marriage is in a good place and healthy. You won’t know unless you open the door.
First, you must ask yourself, “Do I really want to know the answer?” Humility is required in order to answer “yes.” This makes it possible to hear your spouse’s heart, even if they share a perspective you may not see nor agree with.
Okay, so what’s the big question?
When you share an observation about me or our relationship, do you feel heard or do you feel disregarded?
Disregard means to pay no attention to it, to ignore it, or to treat it as unimportant or unworthy of consideration.
If they answer that they feel disregarded, you have work to do. Your spouse should never feel invisible. Ask them for examples of when this happens, not in a defensive way, but sincerely. The goal is to come to a place of mutual understanding.
It isn’t always easy to get there. But anything worth having is worth doing hard things and having difficult conversations.
Marriages grow as the years pass for those who are willing to lean in and dig deeper rather than pull away. If you dig in and insist you are right, your marriage will suffer.
We pray we all will continue to lean in. Tom and I can testify that a healthy marriage is worth opening those scary doors of communication.
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Welcome to our vineyard. We hope you are encouraged to continue pursuing your spouse as you did when you were dating. This is why we do what we do. Click here for date night ideas.
We had a conversation with a young husband and father whom we have known since he was born. It was one of those talks where both of us were being encouraged; we were encouraging him with the gift God has given him and the numerous ways he has been faithful with it; and he was encouraging us for sharing our life’s history with honesty and humility.
Even though he was alive for much of the stories we shared, he was a child. Now as an adult, it was as if he was hearing it for the first time.
But yesterday he said something that made us ask him to say it again. It was a quote from Yoda, of Star Wars fame.
“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
He used it as an example of how it has transformed his marriage and parenting. He said recently he was angry with his kids, and it seemed a good reason. But then he asked himself, “What am I afraid of?” He realized he was afraid they would get hurt. It opened up an honest conversation with his teens that gave him a chance to repent, but also for them to understand the heart of their father’s love.
Powerful, this is! As Yoda would say in his unique way.
We share this to help us name our anger when conflicts arise. If it started from fear there is more to be discovered than just anger. This is how we grow in our understanding of what motivates arguments, which leads to understanding, which leads to more intimacy.
On the Goalcast website I found this quote interesting…
“Inspiration doesn’t always have to come from real-life people. We often find ourselves inspired by characters that live in the realms of the books we read, the movies we watch, the games we play…
“And while our beloved characters may have stemmed from their author’s vision, they are often anchored in real-life experiences and bear the wisdom of the person that served as inspiration for the character. Most great stories have a message that transcends into real life, passing on valuable lessons from complex and wise characters. Who better than Yoda to stand as proof of that?”
Have you ever thought of naming your anger to see from where it stems? It may just help take your marriage to a deeper level of intimacy.
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Welcome to our new subscribers. If you would like to receive our posts via email as well, simply sign up for our Blog. We are grateful you are pursuing how to help your marriage grow. May God bless your efforts.
We love good food, so you can imagine how excited we were to travel to New England. We had visions of lobster this and lobster that, but unfortunately the food left us wanting. We don’t know if it was us or the restaurants we chose. Either way we were disappointed.
When we got home we couldn’t wait to enjoy our own home cooking. And that’s what we did for an entire week!
This new recipe may just become a favorite summer meal.
I made the salsa the night before just to make it easier.
This recipe came together quickly. It was filling and refreshing with all the cool, sweet and spicy flavors competing for your palates attention. it worked and we loved it!
If you’d like to try the Salmon tacos, here’s the link. Also we added a cilantro lime crema to top it off. So so worth the time making it.
Taco sauce (cilantro-lime crema)
⅓ cup Greek yogurt
¼ cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon Sriracha
1 lime medium size, freshly squeezed
½ bunch fresh cilantro chopped
What are your favorite summer dishes?
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Thanks for stopping by. We value your time and find it humbling that you would spend it visiting and reading our posts. Thank you! We pray God blesses your marriage in surprising ways! Have a wonderful weekend!
Let’s face it, this isn’t an easy task in any season of marriage. Emotions differ from day-to-day, and if there is no intentional plans to stay connected, drift will happen.
Drift is slow movement with no control of direction.
Hardly a good practice for a healthy marriage. Also, it’s been said that “to drift is to go downstream.”
Three Ways to Stay Connected
1. Connection requires time without distractions.
This has to include no screens, the biggest deterrent in my opinion. Before your time together, think of one or two open-ended questions to get your minds thinking. This way you will both be ready to talk about something other than kids, work, church or school. Really—you do have other things in common. It is why you got married in the first place. The key is to zone in on that level like you did when you were dating. Here is an example, “What one aspect or thing in your life are you most encouraged about or thankful for right now?”
2. Connection requires honesty.
We all have areas that are considered hot topics. We are afraid to “go there” for fear of ruining the night. But could this possibly be a ploy of the enemy to keep us from moving forward in understanding and forgiveness? I believe this is a high probability! How do we go there without having the same results? I would suggest praying together first asking God to help you have this hard conversation. If being heard or understood is a problem, try writing out your feelings on the topic. Have your spouse do the same and then read them aloud to each other. No interruptions are allowed either. If you don’t understand what they said or why they feel that way, ask more questions. Sadly, most of us assume we know the answers before we ask. This isn’t a fair way to treat the one person who is your closest friend in life—or at least should be.
3. Connection requires a willingness to admit you are wrong and also a willingness to change when needed.
Nothing shuts your emotional connection down more than one spouse blaming the other for everything wrong in the marriage! This requires humility where the grace of God floods your relationship with His power to see things you have never seen before.
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6
If this is a struggle for you, you may not realize it. Those who aren’t humble often think they are. Pride puffs up and makes us feel confident in areas where we should repent. I, (Debi), lived this way for far too long. Change came when God had me read Andrew Murray’s little book titled, “Humility”. It was the most painful and beautiful season of our marriage.
We pray these points help you on your continued journey toward connection or helps to get you back on track.
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Welcome to our new followers and thank you to those who have hung around for years. We are grateful to have you in our vineyard. We would love to hear comments too. It’s the only way we know if what we are sharing is helpful.
Marriage isn’t always what we pictured on our wedding day. Some seasons feel more like dry, cracked ground—where misunderstandings pile up, hearts grow distant, and love feels like a duty, not a delight.
I’ve been there. And if you’re honest, maybe you have too.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned:
Fighting for your marriage when love feels hard isn’t about trying harder—it’s about surrendering deeper.
Love Was Never Meant to Be Fueled by Feelings Alone
Feelings come and go. God designed marriage to be rooted in covenant, not convenience. When emotions fade, it doesn’t mean the love is gone—it means it’s time to lean on something (or Someone) stronger than ourselves.
“We love because He first loved us.” —1 John 4:19
Prayer: The Quiet Battle That Changes Everything
There were times I wanted to fix my husband—times I thought if he would just change, things would get better. But God whispered something different:
“Let Me change you first.”
When I started praying—not just for him, but for my own heart—something shifted. Resentment softened. Hope returned. And slowly, love rekindled.
Simple Prayer to Start:
“Lord, teach me to love my spouse the way You love me. Heal what’s hurting, soften what’s hard, and help me fight for us with Your strength.”
You Are Not Alone in This Fight
The enemy wants you to believe you’re the only one struggling. You’re not. Every lasting marriage walks through hard seasons. But the ones that survive—and even thrive—are the ones where at least one spouse says,
“I won’t give up.”
And often, that one spouse becomes the spark God uses to breathe life back into the marriage.
Take One Small Step Today
Pray before you speak.
Speak one kind word.
Ask God to bless your spouse.
Choose forgiveness, even if it’s silent.
Small steps make big changes over time.
If you’re in a hard place, don’t lose heart. The same God who turned water into wine can revive love where it feels dry. Keep fighting—not with harsh words, but with a surrendered heart.
You’re not fighting alone. And the harvest of love is worth it.
“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” —Galatians 6:9
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Welcome to our new followers. We pray our posts help you make the most of your marriage—as long as you both shall live.
My heart has been grieving for the families devastated by the flood that swept their loved ones away. In an hour’s time, those who were are no more. My heart breaks for the loss of those I’ve never met, because God created each one and knows them each by name.
Couples who had this many children are grieving the ones missing at their table tonight. I cannot imagine their pain. But I know the One who can.
This morning as I awoke hearing a higher total of those who have died, this song came to mind. I wasn’t even sure if the lyrics would be helpful—until I listened.
I pray this song will turn grieving hearts to the only One who understands such loss. Our Father willingly gave His only Son, so we could have hope; a hope which enables us to say, “Goodbye’s not the end.”
Pray with us for all those grieving as we weep with those who weep. We are grateful to say we are not without hope. Our confidence is this,
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 ESV
The following was first published in February 2019. I am often tempted to let my past influence my present. Maybe you can relate…
Did you know that if you are a Christian your past sins no longer define you? You are a new creation! If this is true, which I believe it is–why do we live as if our sin is who we are? I hear people say, “I’m lazy!” or “I’m no good!” or “I’m an idiot!” Our words have power to speak life or death and these words are not life giving!
I remember a season when I disqualified myself from helping other young moms because I felt all I had to offer them was a bad example. What I was really doing was allowing my sin to silence God’s grace in my life. We are all imperfect sinners saved by the grace and mercy of God. We can boast in our weaknesses and failures because of what Christ has done!
Am I perfect? Absolutely not! But I am His and that makes all the difference. If God sees me in Christ, shouldn’t I?
So many times I see the look of defeat and discouragement on faces. It can be men, women, or couples. They are listening to the wrong voice. Our sin has a remedy and it is found in the cross of Jesus Christ. He nailed everyone of them there on that dark day in history. Who are we to take it back down and lament what has already been crucified?
Are you discouraged today in your marriage? Does it seem as if the same besetting sins are having their way with you and/or your spouse? Then I encourage you to repent if needed. But if you are being tormented by the accuser who constantly reminds you of the past, then stand tall and declare you are no longer bound by that sin! You are beautifully bought with the precious blood of Christ.
If it seems too much to unpack yourself, then seek help. Don’t delay. Your life and marriage is too precious to waste it wallowing in self-pity and despair.
I realize that if you are not a Christian, this post can be confusing. That is not in my heart for you. If you would like to know more about being free from the past and its failures please email me.
“He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!” – John 8:36
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We are arriving home tonight from our 3 week, 7 state journey. While we have made a lot of memories, took hundreds of photos and ate a lot of food, we are ready to be home. Thank you for visiting us today.
I know we told you we were going to be away for a couple of weeks, and we are. But today something happened that is on the level of lifetime dreams for me (Debi). Tom and I both wanted to share it with you in this special Foodie Friday edition.
Back in the day when newspaper publications were our only source of news, they would come out with “Special Editions” for breaking news. Today’s post deserves the “special edition” category.
Being foodies, we love cooking shows. When The Lost Kitchen first aired in January of 2021, I fell in love with Erin French’s concept to love people by the food she made. She exudes hospitality, which is what motivates my love for inviting friends into our home for good food and conversation around our table. Reading her book, Finding Freedom, made me love her even more. She has survived so much adversity in her life and ended up succeeding beyond her wildest dreams!
In order to eat at her table, each year I have mailed a post card to Freedom, Maine, hoping for my card to be drawn for a reservation at The Lost Kitchen. With her popularity on Magnolia Network, the odds of getting a reservation was quite slim.
When Tom and I planned this trip to New England, I expressed my desire to go to Freedom and see her place. I didn’t need to eat her food—I have both of her cookbooks and can make anything I want—I just wanted to see The Mill. I was thrilled to see that they were hosting a Farmer’s Market the day we were planning to go.
So despite the 70 year breaking heat wave in New England, we set our GPS for The Lost Kitchen. Although the heat was extremely disappointing, we grew more excited with each mile.
When we finally got there, we didn’t see a farmer’s market. We walked up to the Mill and discovered to our surprise, lunch was being served!
We ordered the organic fried chicken and strawberry shortcake, all the while watching Erin do her magic in her little kitchen.
Even though the heat index was over 100°, eating hot chicken outside, overlooking the mill pond was a dream come true. I met Erin and she allowed me to take a photo of us; my heart was full!
As we headed towards our car, we saw Erin’s husband, Michael, coming up the driveway. He stopped and chatted with us about the scorching heat. Such a kind man whom I respect for the way he loves Erin.
Finally we chatted with the a guy selling cheeses by the road. He is the one who revealed the miracle of this day. I asked why there was no Farmer’s Market. He explained it was canceled due to the extreme temps. Erin decided to do a pop-up lunch instead!
So the heat Tom and I had been complaining about all week, was actually securing for me a dream come true. What a God we serve who orchestrates such plans.
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Thank you for stopping by today. We pray this story inspires you to look for God’s blessings in the midst of hard things. His plans for us are always good. This is a promise worth clinging to!
Today marks the start of our summer vacation and 47 years since our first date. We are excited for the time away and wanted to let you know why our posts will be absent until July.
We encourage you to take advantage of our Date Night Questions or our Date Night Ideas to help you plan some fun this summer.
We will be sharing some photos on our IG account of places and meals we have enjoyed on this trip. Follow us if you aren’t already @theromanticvineyard.
Time to relax and reset is vital for a healthy marriage—this is our time. We’d love to hear your summer plans.
Yesterday was Father’s Day. I planned a dinner for the dads in our life who live close. Our table was full—twelve souls gathered to delight in the gift of good fathers who love well.
The meal was simple, but one of Tom’s favorites—grilled flank steak salad and fresh baked bread. We started with a shrimp appetizer too. But the highlight of the day was the bourbon cherry pie ala mode.
My son-in-love’s brother never liked pie, but one bite of this and all that changed. His response was delightful!
Moments where I witness someone fully enjoy something I’ve made are what fuels my love for cooking and baking. It’s like a special gift, not bought with money but made by hand.
God also delights to give us delicious food. It is found in His Word where we taste and see that He is good; better than the richest of foods.
Father’s Day is the perfect time to get to know Him, our Heavenly Father, on a deeper level.
Having a husband who has excelled in loving, leading and caring for our family all these years is a gift I don’t take lightly. I wanted to give him a card that expressed what things I love about HIM, instead of one that says how he makes ME feel. The latter seems self-focused. I found the perfect one, and as I watched him slowly read it with tears in his eyes, I realized it was worth the price of the card.
I’m basking in the joy of yesterday. Grateful for the gift of the fathers I am blessed to know and love.
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We are grateful you have taken the time to read our post today. How was your Father’s Day? Was it one of joy or pain? Basking or regret? Whichever it was for you, God, the Father, is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He couldn’t love you anymore than He already does. This is a love worth basking in for all eternity!
Our grocery store has ham steaks on BOGO this week, so I put them in the cart not sure what I would do with them. At any rate, I knew it would be a quick dinner to prepare during a busy week.
I did a Google search for “ham steak recipes”, and found this quick and delicious one by BudgetBytes.com
It was so easy, I may keep these on hand for nights when I don’t know what to cook.
The only change I made was suggested in the reviews. The glaze was thick, so I splashed a little bourbon in the pan and let it cook down. It added just the right consistency.
I baked sweet potatoes and some veggies to go with it and dinner was ready in no time.
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This Sunday is Father’s Day and we have a nice meal planned for all the dad’s in our family. We will miss our son and his family, but have a trip scheduled with them next week in NYC. It will be a fun, family-filled week for us.
There is nothing that mirrors the love of God for us as a father’s love for His children. It is a high calling, but God supplies the grace needed for men to love their children the way God loves us.
Happy Father’s Day to all who are dads. May the Lord remind you of His faithfulness to you and your family.
* Some are silent fighters—the cold shoulder is their weapon of choice.
* Some are score keepers—their weapon of choice is a list of wrongs suffered.
* Some are angry—their weapon of choice is their words.
* Some are blame shifters—their weapon of choice is accusations.
* Finally, some are peace fakers—their weapon of choice is denial.
Every marriage fights in one way or another, but learning how to fight fair is essential for a healthy marriage.
Each type of fighter mentioned above could be its own blog post. But the focus of this post is how to fight fair, regardless of your fighting style.
All fighting happens because you or your spouse aren’t getting what you want.
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” James 4:1-3 ESV
Fights will happen, but they don’t have to last. What’s required is the ability to say what upset you without upsetting your spouse. If you don’t do this, you will only complicate the disagreement.
Tom has always said, “Purpose to lower your voice to keep your emotions at bay.” We all have a tendency to raise our voices, thinking we are gaining the upper hand. But really we’re only giving vent to unbridled anger.
“A soft answer turns away wrath.”
Proverbs 15:1 ESV
Another way to diffuse a fight is to ask questions, instead of making assumptions. We may know what happened, but the why isn’t known unless you are both willing to be honest with each other.
The last tip we learned from Gary Thomas in his book, Cherish. He says we have a choice to either treat our spouse like an attorney to prove them guilty whatever it takes! Or to treat them like a physician where we are willing to work together to find the issue. The former is pointing fingers, the latter is holding hands.
The most valuable lesson I learned during our first major conflict was that we aren’t enemies, we are on the same team fighting the same enemy.
I remember a picture I heard that changed my perspective on what’s behind all marital conflicts.
As Christians who are married, we have a real enemy that wants nothing more than to see our relationship fail. I heard it helps to imagine this enemy in the corner of our bedroom enjoying the drama of our conflict—all the while eating popcorn craving more by turning up the volume.
This demonstrates what is happening in the unseen world with the enemy of our souls. I certainly don’t want to entertain him!
The Bible instructs us…
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 ESV
This is a promise we can cling to when fights happen and we struggle to be the one to go first.
The only way we can fight fair is to submit ourselves to God. It is His work in us both that gives us the power to change.
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Welcome to our new followers. We are blessed to have you. May our posts be an encouragement and help for your marriage
Summer doesn’t officially begin until June 20th, also known as Summer Solstice. But with our Florida heat, summer arrived here weeks ago!
This is a great time to plan special dates because time slows down a bit and with longer days the possibilities increase.
Date #1
On The Water – Tom and I love any date that includes water—kayaking, canoeing, tubing, floating on a river in a pontoon boat or soaking up the sun at the beach. We realize not everyone has access to these types of dates, but a picnic by a pond, pool or water fountain can be just as romantic. Make the picnic with bounty from the sea with flavored sparkling water. Some ideas: shrimp cocktail, tuna pasta salad, fish tacos or lobster rolls. Most seafood restaurants offer their food to-go which is a better option, if you don’t enjoy cooking seafood.
Date #2
Summer Solstice Date – This year Summer Solstice falls on June 20th at 10:41 p.m. This is the day when the sun is the highest in the sky and the day is the longest of the year. This means more time to do the things you love. This would be a great day to spend extended time together. Since it falls on a Friday you could even stay up extra late and get a babysitter. Here’s a prompt—do something you enjoyed doing when you were dating.
Date #3
Movie Date at home. Select a movie about long days—any Mission Impossible movie, 24 TV series starring Jack Bauer, Independence Day or the classic, Twister. These options were suspenseful when watched for the first time, but just as enjoyable when you know how the story ends.
Date #4
Cold Drinks and Apps – we love finding Happy Hours around town to enjoy a drink and a good appetizer. You can even plan this at home, if your budget is tight. Consider your favorite Mexican restaurant for chips and salsa with a frozen margarita. Or go to your favorite coffee shop for a pastry and a cold Frappuccino. Another is Loaded fries with a milkshake. All are great options!
Date #5
Ice Cream Sundae Fundae – it’s fun to go out for a waffle cone and sit outside watching people go by. But it’s just as fun to buy all the toppings you love along with you favorite ice cream and make it at home.
Whatever you do, make this summer one to remember.
It is a blessing to have someone ready to go on a date with you. Remember the weekends as a single when you didn’t have a date and wished for that special someone to go out with? Well, now you have a lifelong dating partner. Don’t let your “I Do’s” end the “I wills” of planning special dates.
Summer is the perfect time to turn up the heat of romance in your marriage. All it takes is time and a good plan.
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We are grateful you are here, and welcome to our new followers. We pray your marriage will continue to grow as you intentionally pursue each other—one conversation, one date at a time.
Cherries are in season and they are one of Tom’s favorites. I was never a fan, but I’m learning to love them.
Tom found this recipe he wanted me to try. He even offered pit all the cherries for me—he is a great sous chef. It helped that we bought an OXO cherry pitter.
Our cherries were so large the cherry pitter missed some of the pits. I had to cut them all in half making sure we got all the pits. I found four!
Any way, this recipe is easy once the cherries are prepped. Make sure you buy a good quality vanilla ice cream. I searched the many options at Publix and found that Haagen Das ice cream boasts only 6 ingredients: cream, skim milk, cane sugar, egg yolks, ground vanilla beans, vanilla extract.
It is disappointing that any quality product costs a ridiculous amount of money. But I was willing to give Tom the best Cherry Crisp he’s ever had. Since he keeps talking about it, I think I succeeded.
If you would like to give this recipe a try, I found it on one of my favorite sites, Sally’s Baking Addiction.
Mix the cherry fillingMix the topping and cut in butterPut in 9” square panEnjoy!
This is a great dessert to welcome summer.
What ways are you planning to welcome the season?
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We are happy you stopped by our vineyard today. Did you know that we compiled book full of healthy marriage tips, Cherishing Us? There are over 365 tips to help you stay focused on loving your spouse well all year long!
We would love to give away a copy.
Simply comment on our blog or Facebook post telling us how long you have been married no later than Sunday, June 8th! We will do a drawing from all entries on Monday morning. Good luck!
We had the privilege of attending two weddings so far this year. Witnessing a new family being established under the covenant of marriage is something we don’t take lightly. Hearing the wedding vows are oftentimes over-the-top impossible to keep. Phrases like, “I will never go to sleep angry.” Or “I will never break your heart.”Ummm, yes you will!
When two sinners marry each other, sin will happen. It’s what we do with it that marks a healthy relationship.
When Tom and I got married we were young and very much in love. But there were things we didn’t know about the other. God knew as we innocently and sincerely said our vows, we would be severely tested in three years time. It was a very hard season for us.
I loved Tom, but didn’t understand some of the things with which he struggled. He was my best friend and the only one I could talk to about my struggle…with him.
I didn’t know it then, but this was the best thing for our marriage.
Through the struggles and heartache, our friendship and empathy for each other deepened. We witnessed God’s kindness to us even in our sinful struggles. The Gospel light in our marriage began to burn brighter.
While we were waiting for change, trusting God was all we had.
We have learned that sometimes God takes us to the very end of our abilities, so what remains is His ability!
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” – Romans 8:28-30 ESV
What things are you struggling with as you wait for God to change your spouse?
This can be a make-it or break-it season in your marriage. We have discovered that leaning in to God is the safest place to rest when the weather in your marriage is unpredictable.
If He is the God who calms the sea, He can certainly calm the storm in your marriage. Do you have the faith to believe it? If not, ask Him. He is the Author AND finisher of your faith, as well as your spouse’s. And He is more committed to us changing for His glory, than we are.
If you are struggling waiting for your spouse to change, tell God. He has purposes for you, too as you wait. Only those who ask receive this benefit.
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We realize it is hard to read a post like this if you are struggling with an unrepentant spouse. We invite you to email us so we can pray for you. God sees and knows every detail of your marriage journey. We can confidently say, those who take God at His Word discover He is faithful to complete the work in your marriage. Do you believe it?
Summer has begun in Florida with temperatures already reaching to the mid-90’s. These temps usually encourage afternoon thunderstorms. The cool ocean breeze blows in from the east and collides with the warmer Gulf breezes coming from the west. The result is a spectacular display of God’s power. Lightning and thunder that is a spectacular show.
As a Florida native I love watching storms blow in. If you catch it right before it breaks, you can experience the strong winds and 20° temperature drop. The air is refreshing and such a welcomed contrast to the scorching heat.
Imagine if we could predict the forecast of our marriage…
“Tomorrow the chance of conflicts will increase causing a rise in temperatures. Be prepared to water yourself with Word of God to combat the scorching heat of adversity.”
…but we don’t get these kinds of warnings. Usually a storm blows in when we least expect it.
There are ways to help prevent thunderstorms from developing in the first place; Keep a short list of offenses.
If you try to overlook something your spouse said to you that hurt—it only works if you are able to forget about it. If you are still thinking about it the next day, you need to talk about it. And how you bring it up is just as crucial.
In our 46 years of marriage we’ve learned to say it like this… “Can we talk about something? Yesterday when you said “this” in front of our friends, it embarrassed me. I felt you were making fun of me.”
Now if you are the one who is hearing this, how you respond is just as important. If you blow it off as nothing, you’re only going to make it worse. If your spouse is feeling hurt it doesn’t matter if you meant to hurt them or not. The fact is you did, and their feelings are valid. Take the high road and apologize sincerely…
“I’m so sorry I embarrassed you like that. It wasn’t my intent to make you feel that way, but I see now how I did. Please forgive me. And if this happens again, which I hope it doesn’t, please tell me.”
The weather in marriage is just as unpredictable as it is in nature. Learning how to read the temperature accurately will go a long way in making your marriage strong to withstand whatever storms you may face.
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Welcome to our new followers. We are grateful you are here and hope we are an encouragement to your marriage.
The Romantic Vineyard 