Taking Love Notes To A New Level

Seth

You never know when the next great idea will come for romantic inspiration. Well, we have a fun, geeky idea for those of you who LOVE technology. We recently heard of a husband who started a romantic surprise for his wife, and she never knows when it’ll be “reloaded.” 🙂

He bought her a piece of art for their home. But what he did next will hopefully inspire you as to how to use your smart phone to romance your spouse. He made a QR code, cut it out and taped it to the wall next to the piece of art. When his wife scans the code it pulls up a romantic message to her from her him. What she doesn’t know is when the message will change, so she has to check it often.

Her greatest surprise was when the QR code led her to the hiding place of a special gift he knew she’d love–a gift card to her local coffee shop along with promises to watch the children so she could pull away when needed for a java break.

If you have a smart phone it is easy to do this. Simply go to this site where you can type in  the message you want to say. It will automatically generate a QR Code. If you scan it with your Red Laser Scanner it will pull up your message–brilliant! This is one of many ways to use technology to your romantic advantage.

We also posted a date night idea centered around using QR Codes to lead your spouse on a date they’ll not soon forget! What other ways can you think of to use QR Codes to romance your spouse?

NOTE: We use Red Laser on our iPhone to scan QR Codes. What Scanners have you discovered that work well with your phone?

Click it to read!

Scan to read our note.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Romance in Marriage, romancing your wife, Romantic Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Surprise Wedding

This video is precious and celebrates the joy it is to marry the one you know God has given to you. It’s 30 minutes long, but well worth watching every minute. See how this man loves his bride, and see how she responds to his love. Beautiful!

Posted in Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Newlyweds, Romance, Romantic Ideas, Seasons of Life | Tagged | 3 Comments

Happy Hour – #71

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31 Days To A Better Marriage

  • We’re on Day 11 of this 31 day challenge. Click here to see all the posts so far!

Darby Dugger, For The Love Of Our Husbands – Darby shares from her weakness rather than her strength. Such humility is refreshing!

  • Control – You may surprised at how subtle this can be in marriage.
  • Pray Day Thursday – On Thursdays of every week Darby offers a prayer for wives to pray over their husband. What a great habit to develop!

Hot, Holy and Humorous

One Flesh Marriage

Romantic Husbands

  • The E-Spot – Guys do you know how to caress your wife’s e-spot? You may be doing it already and not realize it. If so, be encouraged.
  • Chicken, Shrimp and Sausage Gumbo – Tom and I love to cook, and I love it when he cooks for me. Rick has a tab on his blog titled-What’s For Dinner? Where he offers great recipes for the guys to cook for their wife. Love it!

The Generous Husband

  • Change Is A Long Road – This post is a MUST read. Paul shares great tips on how to navigate this bumpy road. Those who really want to see lasting change in their marriage must see this post as key.

The Generous Wife

  • Regular Care – I love this metaphor for marriage. It’s one we refer to often in our vineyard.
Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Happy Hour | Comments Off on Happy Hour – #71

I Confess Marriage Can Be A Real Pain

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Last night I had the privilege of catching up with a dear friend who recently said goodbye in this life to her husband of 40+ years. I asked her what was the hardest part right now for her. She said it was when she was driving alone going to her empty house. She added that once she got inside she was fine, but for some reason the drive and entering the door were extremely painful.

But she also shared that she feels an amazing connection with eternity deep within her heart. She believes it’s because she was one flesh with her husband who has now moved on to a better place. Part of her went with him on that day, and she looks forward to one day being reunited with him forever.

I also had the joy of celebrating with a young couple who are getting married next week. As part of the party they offered henna tattoos for anyone who wanted to try it. I thought it would be fun to get a little one on my wrist, so I picked out a curlycue and watched the artist do her craft. The engaged couple both have real, colorful tattoos that I’m sure took a lot longer to create and most likely hurt in the process.

It was great being out with my girlfriends last night–we even had dinner together before the celebration. But it was hard leaving Tom at home who is still in quite a lot of pain from his fall last week. His pain is subsiding slowly–at a snail’s pace–which is about the speed he is able to walk right now. The healing process takes time–lots of time–for him to be back to where he was before he fell. It’s been hard watching him suffer, but we have the hope that he will recover.

Our daughter-in-love gave birth to her third child at a birthing center last week. Our son was there helping her bring their first son into this world. It was extremely painful, but as a result of pushing together through it, they experienced new life!

All of these made me realize that marriage is painful.

Sometimes it’s self-inflicted pain that leaves a permanent mark on our marriage; sometimes the pain comes by accident or the actions of others outside our marriage that we must endure and even seek healing through the wise counsel of someone else; sometimes the pain is helping our marriage grow in ways it wouldn’t if we weren’t willing to push through the pain; And sometimes it’s a pain that will only find its comfort in eternity.

Marriage can be a real pain. But it is good to endure it so God can show Himself faithful to you and your spouse on the other side of it.

What pain has your marriage experienced? Are you in the midst of it now and need encouragement to endure? Or have you seen God’s faithfulness come through to you on the other side of it?

Remember there is a day coming when…

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”(Revelation 21:4 ESV)

But until that Day we are called to endure as Christ endured for us…

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)

Finally, we want to share with you a new song by Steven Curtis Chapman. Most of you remember that he and his wife endured one of the worst tragedies a marriage can face; their five year old daughter was killed in their driveway when their son accidentally backed the car over her. It left them devastated and broken experiencing a pain I can’t relate to. But through the pain they’ve endured he has created something beautiful–and the following song testifies to how it has affected their marriage. Take time to listen and be encouraged…

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Music | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wordless Wednesday – Caption This

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A Table For Two, Please – And Our Next Contest!

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Since I haven’t been thinking about planning surprises for Tom lately, as I explained in yesterday’s post, I’ve realized I’m lacking inspiration. The best place for me to go for such inspiration is Pinterest. I don’t know if you follow our boards or not, but we have a lot of good ones for helping in the idea department. One in particular is called “Romantic Dining.” I spent some time last week adding to this board, and it gave me an idea for our next challenge, and I’m so excited to share it with you!

5th Blogiversary Most Romantic Table Challenge

Next month we’ll celebrate our 5th blogiversary! It’s hard to believe it’s been a five year journey so far, but it’s true, and we want to celebrate in a big way. One of our favorite places in our area is historic downtown Winter Park–Park Avenue to be specific. If you’ve been there you know why we love it. Each April they host a competition of sorts called Dinner On The Avenue. They close a portion of the brick-lined street and set up lots of round tables. Each one is reserved by a person, family, group of friends or a company for a fee. They are required to come up with a theme, decorate the table accordingly and enjoy a meal together under the stars. Each table is judged and prizes are awarded for the most creative.

I’ve always wanted to do this, but each year it either sells out before I know about it, or we are unavailable on the night of the event. So, I came up with my own idea and I can’t wait to share it with you!

Here’s the deal:

Check out our Romantic Dining board on Pinterest. I’ve been adding a lot of pins with dining for two. Between now and the first of November plan an evening where you and your spouse can have a romantic dinner at home or some place else you choose. Set up your table, decorate it, take lots of pictures and enjoy your time together! Then, pick the best picture and e-mail it to us by November 1st to theromanticvineyard (at) gmail (dot)  com. We’ll select the top 10 entries based on setting, lighting, romance and creativity and post them up on November 5th. You’ll have one week to vote for your favorite table. We’ll announce the top three winners on our 5th blogiversary, November 12th.

Are you ready to capture the perfect setting for two? Ready, set, make your spouse SMILE! 🙂

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Posted in 5th Blogiversary Most Romantic Table Challenge, Christian Marriage, Creative Dates, Date Night Ideas, Dinner Dates | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Gravity Themed Date Night – A Bad Idea

Photo Credit: Saveup.com

Photo Credit: Saveup.com

As most of you know, Tom has been “practicing retirement” for over a year now. He’s not ready to retire, but he hasn’t found what God has for him yet. So in the mean time, we’re together a lot. It’s wonderful in many ways, but it’s also been a challenge. Gone are the days when he would be away, and I had time to actually think about and plan a surprise for him. I hadn’t even thought about it until recently.

I mentioned to Tom, “You know I can’t remember the last time I surprised you or planned a romantic date without you knowing.”

“I know. I’ve missed it.”

O.U.C.H.

It’s terrible when you realize you’ve dropped the ball in an area you used to practice on a regular basis.

It’s even worse when you haven’t even noticed! So that led me last week to start thinking of how I could surprise Tom. We already had Monday night planned to go see an early release of the movie Gravity, starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. We won these tickets as a perk from Klout–an on-line website that measures your supposed influence. I’m still not sure how it all works, but we were thrilled to be asked to attend this movie for FREE.

Since the movie was titled Gravity, I had been pondering how to build a date around the theme of gravity. I hadn’t gotten very far when I realized gravity isn’t so romantic.

You see, Tom and I were working in the front yard sprucing it up for the fall and the holiday season. He noticed some dead tree limbs and decided to go to work on them. He set up our ladder and starting working on getting one down when it happened! He thought a limb was going to fall on him, so he attempted to get off the ladder quick! Unfortunately, he missed a rung and fell backwards 5 feet landing flat on his back! I watched the whole thing and was horrified! I didn’t know what to do first. When I got to him he obviously had the wind knock out of him. He didn’t move at first, and I wasn’t sure whether to help him up or call 911. It was the worst five minutes waiting for him to help me know what to do!

But I didn’t panic. Tom has always told me the best thing to do in an emergency is to stay calm and think. (His Boy Scout training in action!) Tom moved both legs, so I knew he hadn’t done any serious damage to his spine. He was able to get up with help and walk inside using some crutches we happened the have in our garage.

Long story short–we saw the doctor immediately where an x-ray confirmed there were no broken bones–praise God! But what he did have was a crushing injury requiring heavy doses of pain killers, muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatory drugs. All our plans for a date night were canceled, as my new role was helping him recover.

It wasn’t until we were inside and he was comfortable (a relative term) that we realized how kind God had been to us.

Tom missed hitting his head on the pavement by 5 inches! He could have not landed flat on his back, but on his neck or on his tailbone causing serious, if not life-threatening, injuries. I shudder to think of it.

The next day our 6th grandchild, Vito Price, was born. Tom could have been killed and missed seeing this precious miracle. But.he.wasn’t! God in His mercy softened his fall and simply slowed down our life and plans for a few weeks.

I’ve decided that a gravity-themed date night isn’t such a good idea. In fact, it’s a downer!

Now it’s my turn to love Tom back and care for him the way he cared for me two weeks ago after my fall. What a month we’ve had. It lends a whole new meaning to ‘falling in love!” I’ll keep the love, but no thanks on the falling part. We’ve had enough for a while.

By the way, the tree limb is still hanging in our tree mocking Tom’s attempt to get it down. As far as we’re concerned it can stay there!

How has your spouse helped you when you’ve had the wind knocked out of you?

Posted in Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Testimonies | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Happy Hour – #70

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It’s time for our Specials of the Week just in time for your weekend reading enjoyment. Grab a cup of joe, tea or cider and let these words of wisdom enrich your marriage.

The Alabaster Jar

  • 31 Days To A Better Marriage series<<If you haven’t signed up yet, it’s not too late. These posts are from 31 different bloggers providing their perspective on different marriage topics for the month of October. It’s a rich wealth of information to help your marriage be the best it can be!

Happy Wives Club

Intimacy In Marriage

  • 5 Reasons You May Be Sexually Inhibited<<If this is your spouse, read this post to help understand them better. It may not be you they’re struggling with. If this is you, please, please, please read this post in its entirety.

Marriage Missions International

The Generous Husband

  • No Desire For Porn<<Is this a continual struggle in your marriage? Have you believed the lie that you can never be free from its pull? Paul shares encouraging news.
  • A Letter To My Newlywed Self – Age 24<<Paul joins this very important conversation. What wisdom would you say to your newlywed self if you were given the chance?

The Generous Wife

  • Keep In Touch<<a very simple habit to develop that may have a positive affect on other areas in your marriage.

To Love, Honor And Vacuum

  • Why Women Are Control Freaks<<I’ve been told I could run a small country, but that doesn’t mean I want to. This post by Sheila is excellent and helpful for both husbands and wives to read.
Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Happy Hour | 3 Comments

“Don’t Talk To Anyone About This!”

Has your spouse ever said this to you or implied it? Or have you demanded this from your spouse? Is it about an unresolved conflict in your marriage? Is it because to be fully known in this area would bring embarrassment or shame to one or both of you? This is where marriage blogs can be so helpful. You can find the answers to troubles you’re facing that are a bit too much to share with others, without ever being marked by it.

I remember in our early years when we were facing an issue in our marriage. We were crossing over from knowing most things about each other to the place where we were fully known, and it was troubled waters for sure. So much so that we felt seasick. I didn’t dare tell anyone, so I was left floundering on my own–which I wouldn’t recommend for anyone! It made the management of the issues that much more difficult.

The Truth is, God never intended us to live life in isolation.

We are relational beings, and oftentimes we need the input and wisdom from someone outside of the situation. Someone who can help us see reason without the emotional attachments.

If we had it to do over again, knowing what we know now, we wouldn’t hesitate to seek out the counsel and help of a mentor or pastor. Someone you know will be faithful to tell you the Truth in your difficulty. Truth is the only thing to cling to when you’re in troubled waters. It is the only anchor that will hold no matter the strength of the storm.

Here are some difficult topics one might hesitate to share with others. Are you facing any of these?

  • Finances
  • Problems in the bedroom
  • Pornography use
  • Uncontrolled outbursts of anger
  • Addictions of various kinds
  • Abuse, past or present
  • Not doing well, but you don’t know why
  • Whatever is coming to your mind right now!

Please know that as long as you allow these issues to be kept secret, it will continue to grow. Hidden sin or trouble grows profusely in the dark. Shedding light on it by opening your life and heart up to others brings freedom. The trouble may not go away instantly, but at least you’ll be on the right path to finding the answers and help you need.

after-a-storm..

The calmest waters are found after a storm has passed. You can either choose to stay unanchored where you’ll be driven by the storm wherever it leads, or do the hard work to throw an anchor in the wind. It will be worse as the storm continues, but calm waters are sure to follow. And know this–the peace will be better than any you’ve experienced before. This is how marriages get better and better as the years pass; taking the storms head-on and learning all you can in the process about yourself and your spouse.

Marriage blogs are a great resource, but they can never, nor should they ever, replace real face-to-face communication with those who know and love you. 

Next week, starting on Monday, a dear friend of our’s is running a series that will hit on the specifics of how to deal with some of these secret problems. I am privileged to provide a post for her. I hope you’ll click over to Faith Rising blog and sign up to receive her posts via e-mail so you don’t miss a single one. This may be the anchor you’re marriage needs.

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage, Troubled Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

We Interrupt This Blog Post To Introduce…

Vito Price Walter

Vito Price Walter

Our newest grandchild (#6) was born last night at 6:05p. Our daughter-in-love is doing well. So much so that they dropped by our house last night at 11p. so we could meet the little guy face-to-face.

Pardon our absence, but we have lots of pictures to take and memories to make.

 

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Celebrations, Grandparenting, Testimonies | 21 Comments

What Will The Next 31 Days Do For Your Marriage?

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Actually your marriage can grow quite a bit if you take a moment and sign up for the 31 Days To A Better Marriage challenge hosted by the Alabaster Jar blog during the month of October.  It all begins today, and nearly every topic will be addressed concerning this life-long relationship. You might read a title and think, “That doesn’t apply to me,” but I encourage you to read it anyway. There is oftentimes an overflow effect of Truth that is shared in someone’s story. You never know when the Holy Spirit will shed light on an area where you need wisdom and/or encouragement.

Let’s do all we can to strengthen our marriages during this month before the busyness of the holidays are upon us. Our relationship is worth it!

To read the first post in the series titled, A Marriage That Is Not Of This World, click here. To sign up for her RSS feed so you don’t miss a single post click here.

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What Will The Next 31 Days Do For Your Marriage?

R.O.C.K. Your Spouse Around The Clock

One, two, three o’clock, four o’clock rock…

Bill Haley penned these words to this classic song decades ago and nearly everyone, no matter how old, has heard. The lyrics are easy and the tune is upbeat and unforgettable. In fact, there’s a good chance you’re humming the tune now…sorry!

But that isn’t my point with this post. Actually, it’s a simple way to romance your spouse literally all day long. It might take a bit of planning on your part, but it won’t be that difficult once you get started.

ROCK is an acronym to help you come up with something to bless your spouse every hour on the hour for an entire day.

ROCK stands for Romantic, Overt, Cognitive, Kind. We recommend a twelve hour stretch, so if you want your surprises to last past the kids bedtimes, you’ll need to start around 11a. Or you could choose to do it when your spouse will be around the house all day to make it easier.

Next, make a list of things you could do, say or purchase to surprise your spouse on this day.

It’s best to choose a day that isn’t special because you want it to be totally unexpected. Everyone is different so what I might choose to do for Tom might not bless your spouse. Pay attention to what they’re going through right now. It might be they’re in need of some extra special treats to make a difficult day more enjoyable. It might be they would enjoy some extra affection and physical intimacy to get their mind off of a stressful situation. Whatever it is that is weighing on them, let your goal to be to help them endure with a smile on their face.

Romantic Ideas:

  • Cards,
  • love letters
  • little gifts to express your love
  • bubble bath
  • massage
  • breakfast in bed
  • pedicure, manicure or both 🙂

Overt (def. done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent, not secret or hidden.)

  • Dedicate a song on the radio to them
  • Make a CD of your favorite love songs and have it waiting in their car
  • Make a sign to put on the back of their car without them knowing that says, “Inside this car is the man/woman of my dreams. I love him/her so much I wanted to tell the world!” On the hour when this gift is to be revealed send them a text or e-mail to look.
  • Go to the store together and ask the management if they’d read a note over the intercom telling them how much you love them.

Cognitive (def. The process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience and the senses.)

  • A music video that expresses how you feel towards your spouse, or one that will speak to their current struggle.
  • Have them read an historical account of a person in history who has the same attributes as your spouse.
  • Make a crossword puzzle of words using special places you’ve been together. As the hints use the dates or the occasion to see if they can remember.

Kind

  • Heat the cold sheets up with a hair dryer before your spouse gets in bed.
  • Make their favorite snack without them asking.
  • Wash and vacuum their car for them.
  • Do one of the chores they dread doing.
  • Take a favorite snack and cold drink and put it in their car before they drive home from work.
  • Buy them a gift card to their favorite restaurant and make plans for them to have lunch with a friend.

These ideas are only to help you get started thinking. There are so many unique ways to bless our spouse on a daily basis. The problem is life gets in the way. We must be intentional if we want to have a ROCK solid marriage marked by romance and kindness that’s expressed in overt and cognitive ways. ❤

Have fun!

Posted in Creative Dates, Date Night Ideas, Daytime Dates, romancing your spouse | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Hour – 69

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It’s that time of the week again. We have some fantastic posts for your weekend reading enjoyment. Cheers!

Intimacy In Marriage

Marriage Missions International

One Flesh Marriage

The Generous Husband

  • Control: Major Marriage Killer<<Paul’s first post of a weeklong series addressing the issue of control in marriage. Do you crave control? Don’t miss this series!

To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Happy Hour – 69

31 Days To A Better Marriage Starts Tuesday!

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Jolene Engle, of The Alabaster Jar blog is hosting an excellent series for the month of October. We wanted to let you know about it ahead of time so you won’t miss a day of the series. Click on the photo to the right. It will take you to the first post introducing the series, telling you about the topics and the authors. It’s sure to be beneficial and encouraging to all who participate. Please do it for the good of your marriage!

Imagine what God can do when we devote 31 days to growing our marriage for God’s glory. We’re praying now for all the marriages that will be impacted for good in their relationships!

So, what are you waiting for? You’re only a click a way for signing up for the posts by e-mail. We pray you’ll do it!

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 31 Days To A Better Marriage Starts Tuesday!

Catch Me If You Can

Humpty DumptyDebi had a great fall…

Last week I took an unexpected fall. I was waiting on Tom to meet me at Starbucks when it started to rain. Fortunately, I was under one of the huge green umbrellas many stores provide on their patios. I was safe and dry.

When Tom walked up, I went to meet him by our car. I stepped off of the sidewalk onto the parking lot when my right foot slipped on an oil slick–what we call “Florida Ice.” In no time I was on the pavement–my knee taking the full impact. It all happened so fast that even though Tom was within reach, there was nothing he could do to stop my fall. I was hurt, bleeding, wet and embarrassed. But most of all I was grateful Tom was right there.

A kind woman came running out of Starbucks to see if I was okay, or if I wanted her to call anyone for me. She didn’t realize Tom was with me since I had been sitting on the patio alone. I told her Tom was my husband and thanked her for being so thoughtful.

Later, Tom said I missed my chance to say, “I’m hoping this good-looking man will help me!” 😉 He was right. It would have been a great line, except I wasn’t thinking about great lines. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been hurt like this. Tom insisted I put ice on my knee, which was worse than the pain of the fall itself! I don’t do well with cold–never have. So this was pure torture, but I listened. And I’m grateful I did. The next day my knee didn’t look near as bad as I thought it might. I’m sure the ice did the trick, and Tom’s attentive care.

We have a framed photo in our bedroom of The Romantic Vineyard banner. On it is printed, “I love you because…” and this was the perfect opportunity to fill in the blank. Here’s what I wrote… (notice the stick figure drawing that Tom drew in response! 🙂 ) Yeah, that’s me on the ground, and Tom right there to help me up. You might like to know that I didn’t spill a drop of my coffee–now that’s impressive. When was the last time your spouse came to your rescue? How did you express your gratefulness?

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Posted in Encouraging Your Spouse, Slices, Testimonies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Wordless Wednesday – Caption It

How would you caption this photo? Leave a comment...

How would you caption this photo? Leave a comment…

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Are You A Wise Marriage Vineyard Owner?

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The wise Vineyard owner realizes the importance of knowing their vines well. They’ll often walk the rows examining them for pests and blight in order to do what they can to keep them from damaging the growing crop. It isn’t hard work as much as it is diligent work. He also must watch for thorns and weeds that grow alongside the vines choking them of needed nutrients.

I passed by the field of a sluggard,
by the vineyard of a man lacking sense,
and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns;
the ground was covered with nettles,
and its stone wall was broken down.
Then I saw and considered it;
I looked and received instruction.
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want like an armed man.
(Proverbs 24:30-34 ESV)

What an excellent proverb to apply to our marriage vineyard.

Marriage isn’t hard if you do the things you know to do–which takes diligence. When we become lazy in growing our marriage for God’s glory is when the task becomes more and more difficult.

We’ve counseled couples who had neglected their marriage. They allowed parenting, work and a host of other things to distract them from doing the daily work of keeping their marriage strong and healthy. There were those where one or the other was unwilling to do the work and deferred it all to their spouse creating an offense, a breaking down of the wall so to speak.

How can we diligently keep our marriage?

How can we overcome our tendency to be lazy and put off until tomorrow those things we should be doing today? It may seem daunting, but the answer is simple.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
(1 Peter 5:5-11 ESV) emphasis added

Start today doing what you can to deny yourself and what you want, in order to serve and love your spouse by helping them with the things they want or need. This is humility on display and invites the Holy Spirit to come with grace and do what only He can do…restore your marriage vineyard.

Are you willing to go first? Are you willing to do all you can to help your marriage stand? If you’ve answered yes, then wait and see what God will do.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Priorities, Troubled Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Spouse Would Be Perfect For Me If Only ____________!

Photo Credit: Godly Woman blog

Photo Credit: Godly Woman blog

How would you fill in the blank? What is the one area in which you wish your spouse was different? Most likely we all have an answer. Those who don’t are either not married yet, or they haven’t been together long enough to see what’s lacking.

The truth is your spouse was never meant to be perfect, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t perfect for you. God led us to each other, and we obviously had faith that this relationship was the one He desired for us to have for the rest of our lives. As a result we got married. And that was only the beginning.

Now that we’ve established the fact that no one is perfect and that most of us are disappointed in one way or another with how our spouse really is, what are we supposed to do about it?

1. Talk about it. Sometimes we need to have a long heart to heart talk about our disappointments in marriage. It doesn’t mean we’ve given  up on it ever being better. It’s just the opposite. Talking about it proves that we are willing to do the hard things to help fill in the missing pieces. And talking about such emotionally charged subjects is not easy. If you’ve tried you know what we’re talking about. It may be that you’ll need a good friend, mentor or pastor to help you do this if you’ve never attempted such deep conversations before. But please do it.

2. Do what you can to help. Sometimes what our spouse is lacking is an area where we are strong. Rather than demand them be like you, why not fill in the gap and help them in ways they can’t do on their own. For example, if your spouse needs to complete a task that they aren’t confident, or lack the skills to do, and you know how–why not do it for them? Making them look good by coming alongside them in such circumstances is a great way to lay your life down for your spouse. It’s a way God desires us to complete each other. Or you might…

3. Overlook it and pray. Sometimes the things our spouse does or doesn’t do is meant to help us grow. Think of how patient Christ is with us in our weakness. He doesn’t tell us to get our act together and come back when we can do such and such better. No, He is willing to love us because He knows He will be faithful to complete the work He’s begun in us. Are you willing to love your spouse through their weaknesses? Or do you demand them change or get angry when they don’t?

These are hard questions to ask, but if a marriage is going to grow they are necessary.

Plan some time this week to talk with your spouse about this topic, and commit to do what you can to change. Wouldn’t it be great to no longer have this issue or these thoughts looming in the dark corners of your marriage where they stifle the freedom God desires you both to enjoy in your own home? We know it’s possible. God is our strong tower and our refuge in times of need. Run to Him for the help and hope you need to go after this issue. It will make all the difference!

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Happy Hour – 68

happy_hour_logo_cropped2

We started our Happy Hour posts on April 1, 2011. That’s over two years of great resources to bless your marriage. We’ve decided to keep track of how many Happy Hour posts we’ve provided, and today’s post is #68. Obviously we’ve missed some weeks here and there, but for the most part this feature has been a regular favorite of our readers.

Do Not Disturb

Hot, Holy and Humorous

To Love, Honor And Vacuum

Unveiled Wife

 

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A Marriage Miracle

Our Ashley and her two precious girls-Bristol and Willow (Vito not pictured) :-)

Our Ashley and her two precious girls-Bristol and Willow (Vito not pictured) 🙂

We are in waiting mode–our son and daughter-in-love are expecting their 3rd baby any day. We have had their two adorable girls for a couple of days so Ashley can rest. Although this is difficult even without the daily responsibilities of motherhood. She is due on the 22nd, but has been having contractions for a couple of weeks making it nearly impossible to rest. So we are doing what we can to make her wait easier. (As a result we may not post as often as we normally do. We have pages to color, Polly Pockets to play with, and pool time to enjoy before the warm weather ceases.)

This has caused us to think about all the stories couples have about their babies being born. Each child comes into this world the same way, but never with the same experience. All are unique.

But there’s nothing more amazing than your very first baby.

Realizing that your love has created life is miraculous and wonderful. Looking at our baby boy in 1982 was like looking at a little person half Tom and half me, and he was beautiful in our eyes.

Tom with Jason 1982

Tom with Jason 1982

We felt closer to each other and to the Lord than we ever had before when we became parents for the first time.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
(Psalm 127:3 ESV)

Our son was ten days early and was an easy delivery with no medication needed. Twenty-two months later our first daughter arrived, but she was ten days late. After twelve hours of exhausting labor we found out she was breech making delivery impossible.  I had to have an emergency C-section. Then, two years later we were surprised and blessed with the birth of our second daughter/third baby who was a scheduled C-section. All experiences were different and couldn’t be predicted. Each pregnancy required a dependence on God in a way nothing else had. We had no control over when or how our baby would be born. We were forced to wait, when waiting was the last thing we wanted to do.

Tom and I have talked often about those days so many years ago. It seems like a different life, things were so different as our family was growing. We were in the throes of change which effected the dynamics of our family–but never forgot that each baby is a marriage miracle.

The only pic of me pregnant with Jason. Things were different then.

The only pic of me pregnant with Jason. Things were different then.

So if you’re in this season of life where your family is ever expanding, enjoy every moment! You will recall this season decades from now and remember how God was caring for you every step of the way. This is your story–the one your children will love to hear you talk about when they’re having children of their own–who will be your grandchildren.

So what is your story? With how many children has God rewarded you? How did God help you trust Him more as you waited with great anticipation?

Let’s glorify His goodness to us in allowing us the privilege of raising the next generation of those who will worship Him. 

Posted in Grandparenting, Open Nest, Parenting, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments