“‘Til Death Do Us Part”

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Debi Walter

I remember a conversation I had one afternoon with a single girlfriend of mine years ago. Somehow we got on the topic of eternity. She was asking me how I could stand the thought of losing Tom, since she knew how much we loved each other.  That is one of those topics most people don’t ever want to think about, much less talk about casually.

Death is unavoidable.

All of us will one day breathe our last. But how we live today and Who we choose to live for will make a huge difference on how we face that door when it is upon us.

I think about things like this from time to time in an effort to help me keep my heart in check. I don’t want to cling so tightly to anything in this life other than Christ. He is my Savior, my sure anchor and the One who will carry me through death’s door, as He will my husband and best friend in this life.

I know there is a better life waiting for both of us.

Don’t get me wrong–I love the life we have here and now. But it’s the passing from this one to the other that scares most people–myself included at times. So in moments like these I must speak the truth of God’s Word to my heart.

My grandmother’s favorite Bible verse was one she repeated to me over and over as I was growing up. I remember laying in her bed next to her with the lights out. It was then she would begin:

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

(John 14:1-3 ESV)

There is a wonderful video project called StoryCorps, where people are interviewed and their voices are matched to a cartoon figure bearing their likeness. It is a wonderful way to hear their story and yet, protect their privacy. We want to share with you the following testimony of a real and lasting marriage. We want to introduce you to Danny and Annie.

You will laugh.

You will cry.

But most of all, you’ll never forget the way they loved each other in such a simple, yet beautiful way. (Grab a tissue–you’ll most likely need it!)

Posted in Aging, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Dream Come True

Posted on September 20, 2012 by Tom Walter

It has been years in the making, but Debi’s dream has finally come true. 

Together, we have sacrificed many things in the past twelve years, but it quickly became my dream to see her dream realized. She hesitated to post about it here thinking it didn’t have anything to do with marriage, but I insisted. I didn’t want you to miss out on this milestone achievement in her life–in our life. For it is when a husband and wife work together as a team that great things can happen. 

Although this was her work to accomplish, I took it upon myself to be the motivation and encouragement she needed to push through the rough patches, and there were many. I love that she has finally finished and now can share this story with others, especially our family.

If you would like to pre-order her book, Through The Eyes Of Grace, simply click the book cover. It will be shipped out next Wednesday. 

I ask you, in what ways are you helping your spouse fulfill their dreams? 

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , | 14 Comments

New Calendar Tab

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Debi Walter

We wanted to let you know about a change we’ve made at The Romantic Vineyard. As many of you know each Monday we’ve provided a list of things happening in and around Orlando for the week. We’ve decided it would be better to provide a local date night calendar on the tab at the top of the blog. Simply click “Calendar” to view what’s happening in the days and weeks ahead.  Orlando is a great place to enjoy a night out on the town. Now it’s easier than ever to plan ahead.

We hope you’ll enjoy this new feature.

For today we offer you some simple advice–do the one thing you’ve been saying you’ll do for a long time – today. Watch how being faithful in the little things adds spark to your relationship. 

Happy Wednesday!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Comments Off on New Calendar Tab

Measuring Marriage Maturity

Posted on September 18, 2012 by Tom Walter

The distance between a conflict and resolution is an indicator of the maturity of your marriage. Work on shortening this distance, and you will be on the road to growing your marriage in the right direction.

How do you do this? By praying first and then being willing to humble yourself for the good of your marriage. Usually both partners are at fault to some degree and one person has to go first. Why not let it be you? Be the one who stands for what really matters. It will make a difference!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Conflict, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

When Honesty Hurts

Posted on September 17, 2012 by Debi Walter

We all know that honesty is the best policy when it comes to business, social media, and acquaintances. But what about marriage? What if the words you need to say are going to hurt your spouse? Like confessing sins committed against them, a lack of feelings towards them, or correcting a sensitive issue that is or could affect your relationship.

If you’ve been married longer than a year you’ve most likely experienced one of these times. It isn’t a fun place to be. We had one of these moments this past weekend while at the beach. I shared something with Tom, but prefaced it with, “I need to share something with you. Can I?”

Of course he said yes, but it didn’t make it any easier. It wouldn’t be a romantic moment, that’s for sure! But it was a necessary moment, one I knew I had to dive into if we were going to do what a strong marriage requires–share everything together, the good and the bad. I really didn’t want to, but the Lord was compelling me to be open and honest (there’s that word) with Tom.

It wasn’t a sin issue. It wasn’t a correction issue. It was simply me sharing with him things going on in my heart, in my mind and in my life. I felt vulnerable–even after 33 years of marriage I can still feel vulnerable. Tom has proven he is a safe place for me to run to. He loves me. He cares for me. Yet this was still hard.

After I shared my thoughts and struggles with him, he was obviously affected. It hurt him as I knew it would, because when you love someone you hurt when they hurt. But it was his silence that proved to be the hardest for me.

We drove home from the beach without saying a word. I had no more words to say. And I didn’t have a clue how to help him help me. So I prayed and cried.

When I got home I was so tired from the struggle I went to bed. I know, you’re not supposed to go to sleep on your anger, but I wasn’t angry. These types of struggles are not often solved in a day. It takes time and space for the Lord to do what only He can do–mature us and grow us closer to each other through the struggle.

On Saturday afternoon our church was hosting a mini-conference on Relationships. It was timely indeed. We worshiped the Lord, listened to great teaching and testimonies on the importance of God-honoring relationships. We didn’t hear anything new, but what we heard would help us renew our love and commitment to each other.

That night as we sat in our family room to talk over everything–the issue, the silence, the conference, it was as if the Lord entered the room and reconciled our hearts together. He reminded us both of the value conflict brings to a marriage. It is in the struggle that He is able to burn away the dross and produce something that lasts. It was one of those experiences we know we’ll never forget.

Sadly, many marriages avoid the hurt and pain of honesty. I know I would if I could, yet this is where growth occurs. This is the place of becoming more like Christ and more one flesh in nature.

It is a miracle!

How honest have you been with your spouse through the years? Do they know what things you’re currently struggling with? Are you willing to be vulnerable for the sake of growth, or do you provide a safe place for your spouse to be vulnerable with you?

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life, Spiritual Intimacy, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Joy In The Rhythm of Life

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Tom and Debi

It is 11p. as I’m writing this post. We’ve had a busy day going our separate ways, doing the things we need to do.

Tom had doctors appointments, phone calls about business opportunities, and an after dinner get together with a friend for his birthday.

I had a lunch get together with life-long girlfriends, a rescheduled afternoon tea to celebrate the 9th birthday of a dear friend’s daughter, a phone call to comfort another friend facing separation from her husband and possible divorce, and talking with one of my daughters about parenting issues.

But what I love most about the life God has given us, in the midst of all these interruptions and planned events as husband and wife, is the everyday routine of it all. Tom is grinding his coffee beans so they’ll be ready first thing in the morning as he sits to have his quiet time with the Lord. The dishwasher is working to clean the dishes from the excellent dinner our daughter and her boyfriend cooked for us for dinner last night. There is a joy to be found in the rhythm of life, those things we do everyday without thought.

When we were first married we didn’t know what the beat of marriage was all about.

We had to think through everyday decisions. But slowly, over the years we’ve heard the cadence and started joining in to the constant pounding of life as it is lived to glorify God.

Can you hear the rhythm? It is there in all circumstances. It is the rhythm of God’s heart beating for you…for me. He gave His all so we could join into the march of the ages. A march that will continue moving forward until the Day…that glorious Day when we will finally, at last, see Him face to face. This is where true joy is found–in Him–no matter the trouble, no matter the difficulty.

If you sit still long enough we think you’ll hear it.

Posted in 100 Joys, A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Dinner Date Night Ideas

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Debi Walter

We’ve all experienced the not-so-pleasant moments when you have a dinner date night scheduled, but nothing planned:

“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you pick!”

“I don’t really care one way or the other.”

Tom has learned that this type of conversation can quickly spiral into an argument if we’re not careful.

We can easily fall into a rut of going to dinner to the same restaurant time after time and never venture out to try something new. There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite place, but to never try something different prevents you from ever finding new favorites.

This is like a traveler taking the same road year after year without ever trying a different road just to see what they’ve been missing.

One year on a family vacation to Breckinridge, CO, we decided to experience off-roading. Our three children were teens and didn’t want to go with us, so Tom and I got in our rented 4 x 4 and hit the trails – literally. We  had a blast! We followed one road that took us over a 14,000′ mountain and the view was incredible. It was mid-July and we were surprised to see glacial ice patches due to the high altitude and lack of direct sunshine. It was something this Florida girl had never experienced before, and I was thrilled!

Our kids missed out because they wanted to do the same old things: play video games and  such. It was their loss, but they didn’t know what they had missed.

Our date nights can become the same way–predictable and uneventful.

This is why we are offering some Dinner Date Ideas to help you break away from the highway and enjoy the new sights and sounds of a dining adventure.

  • Passport Dates – This is a way to travel the world without leaving your city. Pick a different country each date and explore the world one meal at a time by going to a asian, italian, mexican or vietnamese restaurant. Test your taste buds–you may find something you didn’t know you liked. (The link will take you to a series of posts by our friends, The Taulbees. They did the passport dates for a year and wrote a guest post about each one. She had some great ideas!)
  • Alphabet Dates – Start at the beginning of the alphabet and eat your way through all 26 letters. You can go out for some and stay home to cook others. You could even buy take-out to bring home after the kids are in bed.
  • Quest For Your Favorite Dish – we did this for Fish and Chips trying them at different restaurants all over Orlando. It took a while, but we finally found our favorite – a small, family owned restaurant named of all things: Fish and Chips. You could look for your favorite cake restaurant, steak, BBQ, Mexican, whatever. Or work your way through your own categories.
  • Classy Dinner Picnic – This is one of my favorites. Pack a card table, table cloth, real dishes and silver ware. Set up your table at a nearby park that is open in the evening. Don’t forget lighting and bug repellant. We have a park in the middle of one of our favorite towns – Winter Park – where great restaurants line the Avenue. Instead of packing the food, Tom walked across the street and ordered take out. When he got back we transferred the food to our dishes. This way our food was hot and fresh, and neither of us had to cook or clean up. Very romantic!
  • Round-Up Dinner Date – Try going to one restaurant for an appetizer, another one for your main entree and another one for dessert. This one can be expensive, but if you use Groupon it could cut your costs way down making it affordable.
  • Finally – Use Urbanspoon to find great restaurants wherever you are. Each restaurant has a  rating based on those who have actually eaten there, usually the locals. We have found those restaurants with a 90% or higher rating are usually always good. This greatly reduces the risk in trying a new place, plus you can use this when traveling to other cities too!

What Dinner Dates have you tried that were out-of-the-ordinary. We would love to hear what’s worked for you!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Dinner Dates | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

She Loves Me…She Loves Me Not

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Tom and Debi

We were in the car recently talking about the following, and we want to share our conversation with you.

We’ve all heard this common verse repeated by hopeful lovers while removing each petal from a daisy. When the last petal is taken your fate with this person is supposedly revealed.

It’s child’s play.

But is it really? Can’t we, as married couples play this game in regards to how we judge our spouse’s actions towards us, questioning their love for us based on our disappointment?

Think about these common scenarios:

  • Your husband forgets to call home when he’s running late from work.
  • The wife fails to complete the one task her husband specifically asked her to do that morning.
  • The husband fails to keep his commitment to pray together before they go to bed.
  • The wife falls asleep while her husband is telling her about his difficult day.

Our first thoughts can be, “If he/she really loved me they would make sure they did the one thing they said they would do.”

How we react to similar situations reveals the maturity level of our relationship. Thinking the best is really the best for our marriage. Instead of saying, He loves me…he loves me not. Next time repeat this to yourself: he loves me, he loves me, I know he loves me. And see if it doesn’t help prevent the inevitable pity party we can often throw  ourselves. And it might help take your marriage to the next level of maturity as well.

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Cherish.Love.Live.

Posted on September 11, 2012 by Tom and Debi

This is the day we remember.

This is the day we will never forget.

It is the day when we hold our loved ones a bit closer.

And pray to God more earnestly.

We will never be what we were before that day 11 years ago.

We can never return.

But we can choose to never take for granted the life and love we’ve been given each and every day.

For we never know when we will breathe our last.

Never neglect to express your love.

Never forget what you’ve been given.

Then there will be no regrets for the life you’ve lived or the love you’ve shared.

They are both gifts.

Cherish.Love.Live.

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Priorities, Purpose, Seasons of Life, Thankfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Our Winners!

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Tom and Debi

It’s hard to believe Summer has come and gone, but we have proof. Our Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest was sizzlin’ right up until the very end. Thank you to all who entered and thank you to all who took the time to vote! It was fun watching the final minutes as the winners were secured. The votes were really close.

Now to announce the winners:

3rd Place – Kyle and Leah VanCleave, celebrating 4 years

2nd Place – Dion and Annie Ricketts, celebrating 22 years

1st Place – Paul and Paula Balluff, celebrating 20 years

Congratulations! Please e-mail us your mailing address so we can get your prizes sent to you right away (theromanticvineyard@gmail.com). Thanks again. What a fun contest and what a great demonstration of how great marriage can be. We had lots of comments about the happiness expressed on each couples’ faces. Great job!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Contests, Growing Strong Marriages, Summer Lovin' Photo Contest | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Debi Walter

It’s been awhile since we’ve posted our Happy Hour. It’s certainly not because there aren’t any good posts to read. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. With our newly formed Christian Marriage Bloggers Association the members have stepped up to the plate and are hitting some home runs. Take some time over the weekend to explore the following marriage blogs. We know your marriage will greatly benefit by doing so.

And don’t forget to vote for your favorite photo in our Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest. The voting ends at 10p. Sunday night!

Now for our Specials of the Week for your weekend reading enjoyment:

Encourage Your Spouse

Happy Wives Club

Journey To Surrender

  • Marriage Vital Signs – part 3 of an excellent series you must read. Scott provides a link to the first two posts for your convenience.

Marriage Gems

One Flesh Marriage

The Generous Husband

  • Relax, I Got This – Do you crave control? Not sure? Paul provides a great list for starters to see if you’re being stealth about this damaging trait.

The Generous Wife

  • Let Him Finish – Do you tend to finish your husband’s sentences? Don’t do it!

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum

  • Getting Over Your Husband’s Sexual Past – Did your husband have other sexual relationships before you were married? Did you? How you think about this can either free you or hold you back in your marriage.
Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Happy Hour

Worldview Makes All The Difference

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Tom Walter

Photo Credit: theholeinourgospel.com

It’s hard to avoid the continual debate taking place in our country regarding the 2012 Presidential Election. Our primary focus here at The Romantic Vineyard is for the building and strengthening of marriages for God’s glory. So what do the two have to do with each other? Everything!

This fall we will elect one of two candidates to be our next President. The platforms of the two parties couldn’t be more at odds in regard to their view of marriage. It is a decision one shouldn’t make lightly, nor without studying for yourself the issues at stake.

We believe marriage to be between one man and one woman as designed by God from the beginning.

This is a Biblical conviction, not one of our own making. We fear God and love Him wholeheartedly. He is the only reason we have any hope to share with you concerning your marriage.

Albert Mohler has written an excellent article explaining and comparing  the two party’s platforms. We stand together with a hearty AMEN, to this excellent, thought-provoking column. We encourage you to take the time to read it to see where your worldview is lining up this election year.

The Great American Worldview Test – The 2012 Election

by Albert Mohler

American presidential elections are the world’s most public display of the democratic process. The global media follow the American elections with a fervor that is easily understood — what happens in an American presidential election matters all over the world. Our presidential campaigns are political pageants and electoral dynamos. But, as any honest thoughtful observer will understand, our elections are also great worldview exercises. We reveal our worldview by our vote.

This is particularly true of the 2012 election. The presidential nominees of the two major parties represent two very different worldviews and visions. President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney have adopted policy positions that place them in direct conflict, and the platforms of their respective parties reveal two radically different renderings of reality.

Years ago, Governor George Wallace of Alabama remarked with disdain that there is not “a dime’s worth of difference” between the Democrats and the Republicans. In a sense, he was at least partly right. A look back at the platforms of the two parties in the 1950s and 1960s reveals little division over many of the issues that now frame our national debate. Some of today’s issues were simply missing, of course, given the fact that they were not even part of the national conversation. But on issues of the economy, foreign policy, the function of government, and a host of other issues, the parties held positions that were far closer than is the case today. Divisive issues such as the war in Vietnam would be addressed with different policy proposals, but the platforms of the two parties reflected a shared moral and political framework — a truth that would shock many Americans today.

All that changed with the social and political divisions that came with the 1968 and 1972 elections, when the Democratic Party experienced its great transformation concerning a host of social issues.

Continue reading…

It is good from time to time to take a step back and get the long-range view of what you believe and more importantly, why you believe it. If you don’t know the answer to the latter, we encourage you to find out! It is a question we answer each day with every choice we make.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
(Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Dozen Daytime Date Ideas

Posted on September 6, 2012 by Debi Walter

Okay. You can’t find a babysitter for your normal night out, but she is available on  Saturday. We want to provide you with some ideas for this very special Daytime Date.

  • Go out for brunch. Finding a place with nice outdoor seating is a bonus.
  • Play golf, putt-putt, tennis or beach volleyball.
  • Go on a hike, run, or bike ride to enjoy the passing scenery. Don’t forget your camera.
  • Go to the beach or lake for a refreshing swim or walk along the shore. If it’s too cold to swim, try flying a kite together.
  • Rent a convertible and go for a drive in the country. If you can’t afford this option, borrow a convertible from a friend, if you can.
  • Go on a literary picnic. Pack your favorite novel and plan lunch around the setting of the book. Take turns reading the book aloud to each other. Or camp out at your favorite bookstore and peruse the aisles for a new favorite.
  • Go to a movie matinee. Sit on the back row and kiss often. 🙂
  • Go canoeing or kayaking on a river.
  • Go geocaching.
  • Visit a local museum.
  • Go to a farmer’s market and pick up your favorite food for dinner.
  • Play a board game in a local park, like Scrabble, Chess or Checkers.

The most important part of a regular date together is keeping the enjoyment of each other’s company at the forefront. In the busyness of life this is often the first thing to be neglected, but at what cost! Your relationship will still be there after all your children are grown and gone. What it looks like then depends on how you invest in it now.

Have you voted in our Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest yet? You have until Sunday at 10p. EST to do so.

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Daytime Dates | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Revised – Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest Top Ten

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Tom and Debi

[Please note – We accidentally sent out a post too soon at 8a. This is the final edition of today’s post. Sorry for the confusion.]

We want to send out a special thanks to all who entered our contest. It was so much fun to travel the world with you through your pictures, but we can only choose 10 finalists. It wasn’t easy, but we’ve done it.

Look at each photo and then vote for your favorite in the poll at the end.

If you’re new to our Vineyard, we encourage you to sign up to receive our posts via e-mail so you won’t miss out on our next contest. We love to bless couples with opportunities to win a date night out on us. So what are you waiting for? You could be among our next winners!

The Top Ten Finalists:

Photo #1
The Stolp’s – Celebrating 21 years

Photo #2
The Anderson’s – Celebrating 8 years

Photo #3
The VanCleave’s – Celebrating 4 years

Photo #4
The Balluffs – Celebrating 20 Years

Photo #5
Pam and Kimon – Celebrating 14 years

Photo #6
The Ricketts – Celebrating 22 years

Photo #7
The Doss’s – Celebrating 25 years

Photo #8
The McGuire’s – Celebrating 17 years

Photo #9
The Jessee’s – Celebrating 40 years

Photo #10
The Sutrich’s – Celebrating 4 years

Posted in Christian Marriage, Contests, Summer Lovin' Photo Contest | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

It’s Just Another Day

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Debi Walter

Since Tom is not working for the time being, this Labor Day feels like every other day we’ve had since mid-July. It is strange, but nice at the same time. 🙂

How do you handle life together when it becomes predictable? boring? Even the best marriages face these times because we’re all human, and humans get bored. What makes the difference is what you turn to when you’re bored.

We’ll talk more about this later.

In the meantime, have a happy and safe Labor Day off with your family and friends.

Don’t forget–you have until midnight tonight to enter our Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Contests, Growing Strong Marriages, Holidays, Summer Lovin' Photo Contest | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s Time – Contest Deadline Fast Approaching

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Tom and Debi

We have had an ongoing contest this summer, and it’s been fun to see your creativity in sharing how many years you’ve been married. The contest deadline is fast approaching – Monday night at midnight. If you don’t remember the rules you can read them by clicking here.

If you haven’t yet taken a photo while on vacation we encourage you to take one this weekend whatever it is you’re doing–backyard cookout, trip to the lake or beach, cleaning the garage. This is a contest to celebrate Summer–give us your best shot of what this summer has been for you and your spouse, and don’t forget to include the number of years you’ve been married. We can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to this summer.

And, we must remind you of our Romantic Labor Day ideas.

They’re listed under the Only Husbands and Only Wives tab at the top of the page. We love making the most of holidays and romancing your spouse is a privilege we never want to take for granted. Even the simplest of gestures can mean the most.

Have you entered our contest yet? If not, what’s keeping you from doing so? If you need help on how to enter, please don’t hesitate to ask. We really want you to win, and you can’t win if you don’t enter. 

Posted in Christian Marriage, Contests, Holidays, Romantic Ideas, Summer Lovin' Photo Contest | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why We Do The Things We Do

Posted on August 30, 2012 by Tom and Debi

This is our 1,001st post. It is an appropriate time to remind ourselves of something very important.

We have had the privilege of having the same pastor for most of our married life. He and his wife are two of our closest friends. There is a question he would often ask us as a check on what motivates our serving. It was this:

Why do you do the things you do, and who do you do them for?

This is a good question for us to ponder today as we look ahead to our next 1,000 posts. We hope our answer has been made clear to you, but in case you’re not sure we are sharing the following worship song with you. It was written and recorded by Matt Redmon. This is the only reason we are devoting our lives to help marriages grow strong–it is for the glory of God alone.

Take some time to quiet your soul while you worship God with us today. If He didn’t love us first we would have no hope of ever loving Him or each other in the way He intended marriage to be.

Lyrics:

This is how we know
This is how we know what love is
Just one look at Your cross
And this is where we see
This is where we see how love works
For You surrendered Your all

And this is how we know
That You have loved us first
This is where we chose
To love You in return

For You so loved the world
That You gave Your only Son
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in return
For this life that You give
For this death that You have died
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in reply, Lord

This is how we know
This is how we know what love is
Just one look at Your cross
And this is where we see
This is where we see how love works
For You surrendered Your all

And this is how we know
That You have loved us first
This is where we chose
To love You in return

For You so loved the world
That You gave Your only Son
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in return
For this life that You give
For this death that You have died
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in reply, Lord

Our love will be loud
Our love will be strong
Our love shall be hands and feet
That serve You in this world
So let us stay true
And let it endure
That You will be glorified
And worshiped and adored

For You so loved the world
That You gave Your only Son
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in return
For this life that You give
For this death that You have died
Love amazing, so divine
We will love You in reply, Lord

Savior of the world
King Jesus we love You
For we have been loved
King Jesus we love You
For we have been loved
King Jesus we love You
For we have been loved
King Jesus we love You
For we have been loved

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Music, Priorities, Purpose, The Gospel & Marriage, Worship | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Our 1,000th Post!

Posted on August 28, 2012 by Debi Walter

It’s true. It came upon us so suddenly and yet, it does seem a long time since we began this blogging journey with all of you in our vineyard.

We have laughed.

We have cried.

We have been encouraged.

And most of all we have learned more about US by writing for YOU.

God is the One who has led us this far and the One who will continue to draw us closer to Him as we open our eyes and ears to hear what He is saying to us regarding the sacred union called marriage.

Thank you a thousand times for your comments, your encouragements and your friendship. We love opening our heart, life and home to you as we seek to glorify the One who created it all. We pray the next 1,000 posts will find us even more in love with each other and our Savior.

Now, our gift to you is this beautiful video based on the book by Ann Voskamp titled, One Thousand Gifts.

“This is how you spend your one life well.”

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

5 Ways to Avoid Suspicion In Marriage

Posted on August 27, 2012 by Debi Walter

Suspicion is a helpful tool when you’re trying to solve a murder mystery–everyone is suspect. But when suspicion hits close to home it can actually cause great harm in a  relationship.

We live in a culture of suspicion. Politicians are held suspect just because they want to run for public office. Celebrities are suspect because…well, they’re always guilty, right? Those who are charged with a high-profile crime are almost always considered guilty until proven otherwise. This is due in large part because of the publicity given the case.

What is suspicion anyway?

Merriam-Webster defines it: 

a : the act or an instance of suspecting something wrong without proof or on slight evidence : mistrust

b: a state of mental uneasiness and uncertainty :doubt

In marriage to be suspicious of your spouse without cause or proof is a form of distrust. It is a cancer that will eat away at the health of your marriage. Like the media that runs with a story for its rating potential–whether or not it is true–we give audience to a similar voice when we listen to a suspicious voice in our heart about our spouse.

The Bible says we should take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This includes thoughts that seek to charge our spouse with being guilty when we have no reason, except a “feeling” that they are guilty as charged.

No one likes to be charged.

No one likes to be judged.

Yet we often do this to our spouse without regard. Why? Why is it so easy to hold our spouse in suspicion when they’re supposed to be the ones we love the most?

I believe the answer is simple.

We have an enemy who is constantly whispering in our ear. The wise spouse realizes his voice and resists it as a falsehood. We must not give ear to such charges.

But what if there is something that is a valid reason to question our spouse? What do we do if something isn’t measuring up in the way we think it should. I believe there are 5 ways to help us avoid suspicion and discover the truth.

First, pray. Ask God to help you accurately discover the truth. After all it is the truth you need to know, not a suspicion.

Second, find a time to talk with your spouse about your concern. Make sure it is when you can both be attentive and when you’re not overly tired.

Third, never attach motive to your observations. Only God can discern the heart of a man/woman, and forming an opinion about why your spouse did something before you know the truth, is the same as charging them guilty before ever hearing their case. It is wrong. Don’t do it!

Fourth, believe the best of your spouse. Many arguments occur because we tend to think the worst about others. He did that because he doesn’t trust me to do it his way, or She said that about me because she loves herself and how she appears to others more than she does me. 

Fifth, in order to believe the best about our spouse we must think the best about our spouse. It isn’t our job to hold them suspect–arresting them and hoping God gets them. No, it is our job to love them, pray for them, be their biggest advocate to the Father on their behalf. You’re on the same team, the same side of the courtroom. Even if your spouse has sinned against you and God, it is our job to love them back to righteousness, not condemn them to hell.

In what ways have you been suspicious of your spouse? Was it founded or just laziness of thought? Which of these steps will you embrace to change this way of thinking?

_______________________________________________

We have one week left in our Summer Lovin’ Photo Contest!

Don’t forget to submit your photo for a chance to win!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

United In Pros[e] and Cons

Posted on August 25, 2012 by Debi Walter

We are privileged to be a part of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. It is amazing to meet so many like-minded couples who desire to see marriages become all God intended them to be. We are all in this together, like one grand story being told across the internet. So I took some time to actually write in prose a story that includes the title of every member’s blog in the CMBA. I pray it encourages you to realize marriage is alive and well and help is only a click away.

______________________________________

There once was a Genuine Husband who at one time was a Rebel For His Cause, yet by his own honest assessment said his Shocking Marriage was lacking Intimacy in Marriage. The pros and cons of life were seeking to destroy all he and his wife had hoped for. He longed to Live, Simply, Love, but he knew he needed a Marriage Mission. One that would Elevate Your Marriage and help it become A Grown Up Marriage.

His wife would say when she became a Christian Mommy Blogger they had A Desert Experience which happened while she was Becoming His Eve. Their For Better Or Worse needed to Think Biblical Thoughts. They ended up needing to start back at  Square 1 Ministries to help them with The Marriage Bed. The Marriage Guy and Gal suggested Writing Out My Rehab, an idea provided from The Marriage Concierge.

They explained it takes commitment to be Intentional By Grace to Encourage Your Spouse on a daily basis. It requires complete focus like posting Do Not Disturb signs for a season, shutting out all other distractions. You see a healthy marriage is a Journey To Surrender where God provides Manna For Marriage in order for Marriage Works. All we have to do is ask.

My Beloved Is Mine is still a Mystery32 where One Heart Beat can result in a Stupendous Marriage–a One Flesh Marriage. This is God’s will for all marriage covenants, especially those with a Chronic Marriage.

But what about those who need Affaircare? What about the Messy Marriage? Is there any hope for them to have a Peaceful Wife that helps them discover True Agape?

Yes, we believe there is! Reading the Young Wife’s Guide proves there are Warrier Wives willing to fight for a good marriage. She realizes The Respected Husband is drawn closer to a Hot, Holy and Humorous wife.

Is it possible to be Too Darn Happy? No, happiness is the result of pursuing holiness in marriage.

God’s Help For Marriage comes in many forms. The ultimate goal of a Marriage By Divine Design is that it is Graciously Authentic which leads to a Passionate Christian Marriage.

Pearl’s Oyster Bed is the place to find your own Marriage Gems to help you break The Alabaster Jar where Redeeming Marriages takes place with one Romantic Act of the Day at a time. This husband discovered that The Romantic Vineyard hosts the Marriage Dance for all couples wishing to keep their Marriage In Motion. If it is Marriage Life they’re longing for, then setting their goals to be The Generous Husband and The Generous Wife becomes their priority. No one was more surprised to realize they had indeed become the Mission:Husband and the Mission:Wife.

Now they serve each other in a way To Love, Honor & Vacuum creating a home that glorifies God. This husband thanks God for allowing their marriage to reflect the Maranatha Life.  By God’s grace they are once again united in pros and cons enjoying The Pure Bed of marital bliss.

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments