Dating your spouse is a mindset. It is the desire to be together doing things you both love. The key word is “together”.
Using this definition can make an ordinary, running of errands, kind of day into a date, if you’re doing it together.
This has never been more true than in our current season of retirement. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as we make the most of the time to talk, listen and connect.
Dating your spouse is caring for your spouse.
So this weekend why not care for your spouse by being present and giving your full-attention to each other. You may realize there is a hidden treasure in ordinary moments.
Happy Dating,
Tom and Debi
Thanks for visiting our vineyard. And thank you for sharing. Mostly we are grateful that you stopped by showing that marriage matters to you.
Our church is going through Proverbs and today was chapter 5. Loving marriage the way we do, we have committed our lives to encourage intimacy on emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual levels. But there is a fifth aspect of intimacy we all have vowed but may not realize. It’s when we vowed to love AND cherish each other.
Gary Thomas’ book, Cherish, has been the tool used in our marriage to bring understanding to what it means to cherish each other. It’s basically an unselfish love that seeks to build up and strengthen your spouse without regard for your own need. If both are cherishing each other, intimacy can’t help but grow.
Love flows through open doors.
If either spouse is shutting the door of communication, listening or repenting, the marriage will suffer. It may even die for lack of love and care.
Imagine a parent who has a newborn baby. The needs are great and without the needed care the baby would die. It’s the same in marriage. Your spouse’s affections will suffer if you are only thinking of yourself.
Selfishness has no place in a healthy marriage.
How can you tell if you’re being selfish?
1. Ask those who know you best. Most likely they’ve observed your self-focus in how you relate to your spouse.
2. Ask your children. You may not realize it, but they learn more from your example than they do your words.
3. Ask your spouse, but do so with ears to hear them. Resist the desire to defend yourself, even if you don’t see it the way they do; pride rarely agrees with being challenged. It requires a humility to hear correction from those closest to you.
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:9-18 ESV
Marriage, in order to grow through the years, requires a willingness of both husband and wife to grow and mature. The only way this happens is to each prefer the interests and desires of the other.
Let’s pursue what cherishing looks like in our marriage. It will be different for every couple, but it is what all marriages need.
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Doors can welcome you in or shut you out. What determines one over the other is who is on either side of the door.
If it is friends coming over for game night, you gladly open the door for them and probably with a huge smile on your face.
If it is a solicitor or a bill collector, you may hide from the door hoping they do not see you are home.
If it is a thief checking to see if you answer, it can be alarming and frightening.
But what about the door of your heart?
We most likely offer access to those we love and trust; or at least we should. Does your spouse have access? If not, why?
– Do they say things that are hurtful?
– Do they manipulate your response to serve their preferences over yours?
– Do they not even bother to knock—either avoiding you or out right ignoring you?
If any of these three questions resonate with you, please seek help. This is not how a healthy marriage works. If a marriage is strong you will welcome their knocks any time. You will benefit from their perspective and grow as a result.
Cultivating a strong marriage is hard. If yours seems easy right now, know that hard times will come. When two different people with a sinful nature make a lifelong covenant there will be friction. But this friction can be good for our heart.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17 ESV
Cultivating the trust required to benefit from your spouse’s perspective will grow over time. Each conflict should bring greater understanding of how you both think and thus, how you relate.
Tom is a steady influence in my ever distracted heart.
In our 45 years together I have grown in trusting his advice. He has been the safest relationship I have ever had. And I believe it is because God has led us through every difficult misunderstanding, argument or disagreement. We don’t have to be alike to have a strong relationship. We only need to glean from each other’s perspective.
This is how his iron sharpens mine and I am better me as a result.
Do I enjoy conflict? By no means.
Compare it to a surgeon who has the ability to repair what is ailing me. I have to trust his hand to make me better.
So it is with conflict. Something is off in your communication and needs to be repaired. Trust is needed for this to happen and that is acquired with practice. James says:
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” James 4:1 ESV
Marriage is a one of the best ways to discover what is at war in your own heart.
God will use this relationship more than any other to make us better than we could ever be alone. But we must invite our spouse through the door of our heart; Welcome their perspective or advice and see how God uses them to bring lasting heart change.
I know it happens because this is what Tom and I have experienced and it is good.
Thanks for reading and following. We pray your marriage is helped and given hope today.
There is a local restaurant where we have gone for years. They used to serve a Veggie Flatbread pizza that was amazing. I thought the secret ingredient was red baby potatoes, but I was wrong!
When I asked the server what these amazing gems were I couldn’t believe it; they were roasted radishes. I was disappointed when the restaurant no longer used the radishes on their veggie pizza.
I avoid gluten often, not because I’m allergic but because I’m sensitive to it. Costco sells a frozen GF Cauliflower crusted pizza that Tom and I love. I decided to try my hand at adding roasted radishes to our favorite pizza at home.
I’m happy to say it was ahhh-mazing.
Surprisingly, when radishes are roasted the spiciness is replaced with a sweetness—like potatoes.
I washed and halved the radishes and roasted them in a hot (450) degree oven until tender.
I cooked the frozen pizza halfway then sprinkled the roasted radishes on the pizza. It was delicious.
It’s nice to figure out how to replicate favorites at home. Not only is it less expensive, but we can have it whenever we want.
Have a great weekend!
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Years ago we offered a daily Healthy Marriage Tip on our Facebook page. It was a gentle nudge to help remind you to focus on your marriage each day. Above is a meme I made with one of the questions.
We decided to put them in a book for you to have handy whenever you sensed the need.
Cherishing Us is available in paperback or on Kindle on Amazon. As a bonus we’ve included our 150+ date night questions in the back too. Now you can have good questions to ask your spouse whenever you feel the need to connect.
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Our blog is called The Romantic Vineyard, so naturally romance is a key focus of ours. But romance can’t take the place of being intentional in growing your marriage for the purpose God designed.
Marriage between and husband and wife was created by God. It was His idea not just for procreation, but to be a visible model of Christ’s love for His bride—the Church.
If we lose sight of the big picture purpose of our relationship we run the risk of making it all about our individual happiness. And whenever we focus on self, nothing godly comes of it.
You see Christ laid down His life so that we could have life abundantly and no longer stand guilty before a Holy God. He denied self because He loved us first. He knew that to restore our relationship with His Father, it would require His complete surrender.
This is amazing news for marriage!
We have a perfect example of how to succeed in our marriage—lay down our life for the good of our spouse.
Of course for this to make a healthy marriage, it requires both partners to prefer the other above themselves.
There are some marriages where this is expected by a controlling husband. This is not the model Jesus, the Groom, set forth for husbands.
There are also some marriages where a proud and selfish wife refuses to appreciate the humility and unselfish acts of her husband, which is how the Church is called to respond to Christ.
The only way for Marriage to mature is for both spouses to pursue godliness together.
Now for romance in a healthy marriage—it is the overflow of worship to God where romance has weight.
It is no longer a night out to dinner or going to the movies together. It can be, but the time we set aside for ourselves is much more. We want to be together. We value any time we have to connect without distractions. We care what our spouse is thinking and make time to listen wholeheartedly.
This is why romance matters; it is a barometer for how the rest of our marriage is doing.
Romance isn’t the answer for how to have a healthy marriage; it’s the results of one.
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Our 10 year old granddaughter just spent a week with us. She is the one in our daughter’s family who has always had a mature palate for her age. I have a video of her at 12 months sipping her mom’s coffee and saying, “Mmm, more?!”
When I asked her what she would like for breakfast, without hesitation she said, “Crepes!” I told her I’ve never made them before, but I was up for the challenge.
I looked up highly rated recipes on-line and found this one on the site Budget Byte$. I didn’t realize you can make them savory or sweet, so I asked Brielle which she would prefer. She responded, “Sweet, with Nutella and strawberries.”
I was excited to try making these. We have dear friends from Ukraine who stay with us each February. One year she made us hers and they were addicting. She made a pile of them because in their family of 6 they get eaten hot out of the pan. I had forgotten I much we enjoyed them until Brielle’s request.
Ok then. Off to the store I went to purchase fresh strawberries and a jar of Nutella.
Brielle approved. ❤️
These can be stored in the freezer too. It’s fun to have a new favorite to make for Tom.
Have you tried something new for your family recently? I’d love to hear about it.
Have a great weekend exploring new adventures in your kitchen as well as your marriage. This keeps your relationship fresh and growing, which healthy marriages require.
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Weather. We depend on it for so much of our activities. Will we do this or that? It all depends on the weather. No one wants to eat outside when it’s too cold or too hot. Nor do we plan a picnic when it’s humid – anytime between June and November in Florida. We choose our activities based on the perfect weather conditions for it, don’t we? We can control what we choose to do based on the comfort level available.
In marriage we would do well to consider this truth.
What is the temperature in your home? A bit cold lately? This is not the time to discuss sensitive subjects. It’s best to warm up a bit by showing love and care towards each other. We can control the temperature by adjusting our attitudes and expectations. This goes both ways.
Oftentimes our greatest disappointments are because we expected too much and communicated too little.
Maybe things are really heated and you’ve discovered there are some topics where you just can’t agree. That’s when good friends are a needed asset, like a good weather forecaster.
Tom and I have recently come up against some differences of opinion on important things, but not crucial things. It really effects nothing more than our schedule to do it his way or my way. What we need is to come to a place where we can agree to disagree. Friends are great at bringing us to this resolve. They can ask questions in a way that makes us think of the other’s perspective. There really is no right or wrong answer, it is a matter of preference. And shouldn’t we prefer one another over our own desires? Especially the one we say we love the most?
What about you? How do you avoid tumultuous weather conditions? How do you navigate heated topics? Or how do you deal with the chill of neglect in your home? It all comes down to what we vowed in the first place. Didn’t we promise to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better or worse? I think this post falls in the “or worse” scenario. No one likes to be too cold or too hot. Just ask Goldilocks (sorry, I couldn’t resist!) We prefer things to be just right. But when they aren’t? Don’t sulk and pull away. Phone a friend instead. They really are like a trusted weather forecaster who helps you prepare and avoid being caught in the elements. And maybe they will also bring the needed refreshment to cool a hot debate.
“He who walks with the wise grows wise.” – Proverbs 13:20a
What friends do you have that can help you with your marriage forecast?
We have never been fondue people, but hey! We were in Switzerland, where cheese fondue was born. We had to give it the spotlight its reputation had secured.
I did some research and found a highly reviewed fondue restaurant called—Fondue House Du Pont. It is set overlooking the Reuss River with the Swiss Alps as a backdrop. Simply breathtaking!
St. Peter’s Chapel
The Swiss cheese fondue was served with potatoes and bread. We ordered additional veggies on the side.
The fondue was prepared on our table by our server who hoped to stir our appetite as well. It worked. We couldn’t wait for him to hand us our forks!
The delicious organic Swiss cheese was hot, creamy and everything I’d hoped it would be.
Dining this way allowed us to relax, talk and laugh with our friends as we enjoyed this afternoon together.
We were quite full, but couldn’t resist trying the chocolate fondue.
This came with a platter of marshmallows, pound cake, bananas, strawberries, pineapple (which was surprisingly good) and meringue swirls. The rich creamy milk chocolate coated the fruits and cakes making for the perfect ending to a memorable meal.
We ended the afternoon by taking a stroll along the river.
We passed an incredible street market full of farm fresh vegetables and fruits. How I wished I could have taken some home to cook. But our hotel didn’t come with a kitchen.
Next we came to the Chapel Bridge, so named for the nearby St. Peter’s Chapel. The wooden covered bridge connects the two sides of Lucerne, diagonally across the river. It is the oldest bridge of its kind in Europe originally dating back to the 1360s.
The bridge is also known for some of the most beautiful artwork painted on the trusses overhead. Many were destroyed in a fire on August 18, 1993 and only 30 of the 157 paintings were fully restored. (Source: Wikipedia)
As we walked along the river we couldn’t help but thank God for the history of this beautiful town.
Lucerne will long be remembered in our hearts and tastebuds.
Summer provides some of the best time to connect as a couple and with your family. Yet if we are not intentional it can be over before we know it.
Why not plan a special date with a back-to-school theme for your spouse?
Here’s the idea:
1. Draw up an entrance exam for your spouse about yourself. Make it easy for them to ace it. Questions like: What’s my favorite vacation spot? What do I love to do most with my free time? Etc. You know what your spouse would know about you. Make it as long as you like and have fun with it.
2. Time for math. Write down the year you were married. Under that the number of years you’ve been married. Next how many children you have, the house or apartment number of your first place, the number of cars you’ve owned, the number of jobs you’ve both had and the number pets you’ve had. Add these all up and marvel at the sum of your life together so far.
3. Lunch time. You can take this one as far as you want. Look for an old lunch box at the Thrift store, or use a brown paper bag. Make a special school lunch you’ll both love. It’s better if they’re different so you can make trades if you like.
4. Time for recess! Plan a friendly competition of a game you both enjoy. You can make your own rules to make it a bit more adventurous too. Win or Dare Putt Putt is a fun challenge. We also have a version of Jenga, Scrabble or Clue with a Sexy Twist
5. Homework assignment. It’s time for your spouse to plan next week’s romantic adventure. Check out our Alphabet Date Ideas for inspiration.
We have been blogging since 2008. The Romantic Vineyard began as a way to share date night ideas before there were many sites like this available. Now the internet is full of ideas and the fact that you still consider us a resource is humbling. Thank you. The time has gone by so fast!
It has been our vision since we were married to help couples succeed in their marriage.
Whether it’s through ideas for connection to cultivate your friendship, hearing truth from God’s Word that changes a heart, or sharing testimonies of God’s faithfulness to us or to others. This site’s only purpose is to come along side you and help your marriage not only survive but thrive. We are you have the best Summer making memories that last.
Thank you for reading, for following us, and for sharing our Vineyard with others.
We all have them; habits or routines that we do with little or no thought. Some are more meaningful than others. Compare drinking your morning coffee to brushing your teeth. Both are necessary, but morning coffee is a ritual all caffeine lovers anticipate with joy, while brushing your teeth is a needed routine.
A ritual Tom and I share is our morning devotions. We read the same Bible plan separately but at the same time. We are then able to talk about what we’ve read. This is a fairly new one that started when Tom retired, and it has become one of our favorite morning rituals. Add some good coffee or strong tea and it’s perfect!
Rituals give room for connection in the busiest seasons of life.
One ritual that has been established the longest in our marriage is our weekly date night. (Again, once Tom retired everyday became a potential date day, and we love it.)
When our kids were home our date night was a necessary ritual to focus on just us.
I have a friend whose husband gave her flowers every Friday for years. He knew she loved fresh flowers so he made sure she had them. It became a ritual she anticipated.
Rituals are meaningful, routines are mundane.
Routines are necessary but not always enjoyed. Rituals bring deep satisfaction and are missed when they no longer occur.
What routines in your relationship can you turn into a ritual? Here’s a hint: What are some of your spouse’s favorite things or activities? How can you make these things happen more often?
Marriage begins with the ritual of exchanging our wedding vows.
“To love and to cherish until death do us part.”
Let’s purpose to take our vows to the next level by establishing some rituals unique to us. It will keep our relationship from becoming mundane, and we’ll make great memories along the way.
Lucerne was our first time in Switzerland, a country Tom and I have both wanted to visit. It was another chance to experience something new together.
Our hotel, the Hotel Wilden Mann, was in the city center of Lucerne and was built over 500 years ago! What? America is half the age of this place. The history hung on every wall and seeped from every corner. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a tour of my accommodations, until here. I can only imagine the stories hidden in these halls.
The Lobby, Hotel Wilden MannThe tiny elevatorOutside our 4th floor roomAntiques and Art galoreLooking down the ancient stairwell
We were happy for cold weather since the hotel has no air conditioning.
By the time we checked in we were famished.
Our hotel recommended a restaurant right around the corner, Wirtshaus Taube. We checked it out and couldn’t resist the charm welcoming us to Lucerne. Besides it was raining and we wanted a dry cozy place to fill our empty stomachs.
This is the dish I ordered and it was delicious!
Reosti (fried potatoes with melted cheese, bacon, fried egg and chives). Their signature dish.
While I didn’t order the following, I wished I had. This is on my list of recipes to try at home. I did some research and found this recipe on the Once Upon a Foodblog site.
Swiss Mac and Cheese with applesauce
Foodie Fridays are making me hungry. I must try this recipe soon and share the results with you.
What recipes have you discovered abroad that are now favorites? Please share your finds with us.
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Our hotel in Lake Como was situated right on the square overlooking the southern tip of this gorgeous lake.
The weather was cool and windy making a lake tour uninviting. One couple traveling with us decided to take the tour anyway. But they didn’t realize they had purchased a one-way ticket on the fast boat to Bellagio.
When they arrived they discovered there were no return trip tickets available on the fast boat (about a 45 minute trip). The long boat would take 2.5 hours stopping at every town along the way. We checked to see how long it would take to return by bus, but that wasn’t a much better option.
Bus road map from Bellagio to Como
They decided to take the long boat, but there were no seats inside. They had to sit on the top deck, exposed to the wind and splashing waves; a miserable experience. However, the photos from Bellagio were gorgeous. All in all they were glad they went.
Funiculare est. 1894
We spent our first day in Como taking the Funiculare up to the ancient town of Brunate. This is an old cable car that climbs 1600’ above Lake Como and provides breathtaking views. We did a little shopping and had a fantastic lunch with unbelievable views. We kept saying that we couldn’t believe we were here!
View from our table
The next day Tom and I ventured off on our own. That’s the fun of traveling with friends who have known each other for 40+ years, you can be together when you want and go off alone when needed. It was time for us to have time to explore alone.
We walked along the shore of Lake Como and happened upon a beautiful monument in honor of Alessandro Volta, a professor in science who invented the electric battery.
The lake shore was beautiful as were the tree lined streets.
We happened upon a concert in the square outside our hotel. It was nice to relax and take life in Como.
When we travel we enjoy visiting the local grocer to see what kind of food they offer. This was a little market hidden in the back and hard to see. When we entered we were surprised at how big it was.
A few offerings for sale
But I’ve saved the best for last. On our last day in Como, Tom commented that we had yet to have a cannoli. I did a search on Yelp and found a Sicilian Bakery a short walk away. We are so glad we did. Neither of us realized that cannolis originated in Sicily, which is where Tom’s mother’s family is from. This bakery felt like home!
He’s making my Cafe Latte So many optionsBut here’s the real prize—delicioso!
What a great day date we shared together on the beautiful shores of Lake Como.
We all need time to pause and focus our attention on what matters. This week is providing us time to do just that.
Last week we had an amazing time with our son, daughter-in-love and our four grandchildren in Tennessee. It’s sad to realize we hadn’t been together since Thanksgiving, but it makes the time we do have together precious.
The first four days our son took his bride away to celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary. We were officially on Papa and Nana Duty. Actually it was more delight than duty.
As retirees, we have discovered this is one of the best parts of this season of life—being available to help your grown kids as needed.
We did all the things: went swimming, cooked good food, baked cookies, hunted rolly pollys, played XBox Golf, went Good Will hunting and took our oldest granddaughter birthday shopping. She will turn 17 tomorrow.
Happy Birthday, Bristol
But the most time consuming of all was completing this 750 piece jigsaw puzzle:
Thomas Kincaid puzzle
When their parents returned we made them a special anniversary dinner of Beef Short Ribs with buttery mashed potatoes and southern green beans. It was fun to make a big deal of their marriage in front of their kids.
One day we visited our son at his work. He loves his job so much, it isn’t work to him. He lives the quote:
Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life!
We toured the new event center and couldn’t believe how beautiful it is.
View from the lobbyMatthew 5:14-16Spacious Event CenterWinston Churchill greets attendeesAnd encourages them as they leave
But our favorite of the day was getting to meet two of the personalities with Ramsey Solutions who happened to be hosting the radio show that day, John Delony and Jade Warsaw. Jason took us in to the recording studio during a break in the show to have our books signed.
The Dave Ramsey Show studio
We ended our week doing one of our favorites together—visiting an historic home that was the center of the Battle of Franklin during the Civil War. On November 30, 1864, the Carter House became infamously known for the bloody battle that ensued late in the afternoon.
The Carter House
Our guide was a retired history teacher and shared the events of this day as if he had been an eyewitness. There was a moment when the tour ended that he led us to a small white building. He had us stand in front of the closed door. Then he opened it and stepped aside. What we saw left us speechless.
Tiny lights are bullet holes.
We spent a bit more time reading the marquees all over the property which described the events at each spot.
It was quite the tour and one we highly recommend if you ever go to Franklin, TN.
It’s always hard to say goodbye to our family who live far away. But seeing them thrive in such an area rich with history, blesses us to no end.
We realize how precious life is and thank God for the gift we have together
We had been in Italy 5 full days and at this point we had yet to have pizza. Our final day in Tuscany we tried an Italian Pizzeria. As we were seated our server stated loudly and firmly, “Noh peeza too-day!”
What? No pizza served in a pizza restaurant? I was disappointed, but not without hope. We were heading North to Lake Como, Italy, where they would surely find great pizza.
After a long train ride with a stop in Milan, we checked into our hotel. I did what I always do—checked Yelp to find a good pizza place. We were thrilled to see it was right behind our hotel. Da Michele Pizzeria was established in 1870, so we figured they knew a thing or two about good pizza!
We arrived before they opened, and a line of locals was already formed. This was a good sign! Below is the kitchen already busy making pizza!
It’s not easy getting a table for 8 in most Italian restaurants. This time we were pleasantly surprised.
The pizza was very large, thin, hot and delicious. It was so thin you had to fold it in half to pick it up for a bite. Now I know the reason this is a favorite way to eat pizza. It is a necessity here. While I didn’t love how thin the crust was, the taste was worth the effort to eat it.
When we were filled and satisfied our server treated us to one of Tom’s favorites—limoncello. It’s the perfect after dinner drink following a hearty meal.
“Saluti”
We are on Nana and Papa duty until next week, so I’ll pause on posting. I want to give my Tennessee grandkids all my attention.
As I ponder the fallen military heroes who have given the greatest sacrifice for our freedom. I can’t help but think of the spouses who continue to live with their loss of their love every single day.
To these widows and widowers:
While our country celebrates your spouse’s heroism…
…you remember their love.
While we grieve our country’s loss…
…you grieve on a personal level most can’t fathom.
Though we don’t know you by name…
…we know there is a God who does.
He sees you. He loves you. He weeps with you.
Today while most say “Happy Memorial Day” on their way to their family picnic…
…We say, “Happy Memories of the life you once enjoyed together, and may they help carry your heavy heart.”
We are grateful for such a willing sacrifice.
Note: If you want to remember your spouse publicly, please leave a comment telling us about him or her. We would be honored to celebrate their life and pray for you. And your family.
There are moments when you are grateful for your spouse’s willingness to sacrifice. I had this happen at our last meal in Tuscany.
I had been wanting pizza. But for some reason we hadn’t had the chance to enjoy it yet. Being our last day in Tuscany I found a restaurant called Pizzeria Ristorante. Everyone in our group was happy to give this place a try.
The first plus was they had their own parking lot. It didn’t take long to discover that parking is the most sought after real estate in Tuscany. I even took photos from this parking lot with a view!
I was anticipating this meal most until we were seated. The friendly server announced, “No pizza!”
Wait, what? This is a restaurant known for its pizza and you say, “No, pizza?!”
It was sadly true.
I perused the menu for another option. Risotto! I love risotto, and they offered a fish risotto. I asked the server, “What kind of fish is with the risotto?”
She replied, “Fish!”
I took the chance and ordered. Tom ordered a more certain dish—pasta carbonara.
When my food arrived it wasn’t “fish”; it was mussels and clams and octopus mixed in with risotto. I was more than disappointed. I can’t stand the texture of these types of seafood. I knew it wouldn’t be easy explaining my inability to eat this food to our broken-English server—I wanted to cry.
Fish Risotto
Then Tom offered to switch with me—his Pasta Carbonara for my “Fish” risotto. He is the best! And he had just said how much he loved this pasta! He wanted me to enjoy this meal since I still wasn’t getting the pizza I desired.
Pasta Carbonara
He is amazing like that; Wanting to make me happy even if he has to sacrifice what he enjoys.
Of course I had to try making this dish once we got home. It was my way of thanking him for the way he cares for me.
I am pleased to say he loved my version and so did I!
In America most restaurants make the carbonara sauce using cream and cheese. But in Italy there is no cream. The creaminess is created using egg yolks and stirring them in the pasta with the handle of a wooden spoon until it emulsifies into this creamy sauce.
Add pancetta and grated Pecorino Romano cheese for the finishing touches. This will now be a new staple in our home—the best souvenir.
If you would like to try this too, I used this recipe from the Recipe Tin Eats blog. It was so easy and made my husband happy from the inside out!
We were disappointed that our idea of sitting in a vineyard in Italy never materialized. So we came up with our own plan.
The VRBO we rented is called Agriturismo L’Elfo. It is just outside of Siena, but far enough to be surrounded by the beautiful countryside. We highly recommend this place if you are planning a trip there some day.
Originally the itinerary was to tour Florence with all its rich history and beauty. But after two days exploring Siena and Montepulciano, we were ready for a day to relax in our well-appointed villa.
Our host (in the doorway) is the 5th generation of farmers on this 70 acre plot of land. He and his soon-to-be wife (front left) have worked four years to restore the old barn to the gorgeous villa it is today.
When we arrived they gifted us a basket of fresh laid eggs, home-made honey and a bottle of wine from a family member’s vineyard. It’s interesting to note: eggs are not refrigerated in Italy—even in the grocery stores. Also, the wine is super cheap in Italy. We enjoyed it all the more!
Cheers!
Our villa had four bedrooms all with en suite bathrooms. Which if you’ve traveled much in Italy this is hard to come by.
They had every kind of fruit bearing tree, but being early spring it was impossible to tell, for as yet there was no fruit.
We learned from one of our friends that on iPhones you can take a photo of a tree or plant and click the “i” for more info. It will tell you the name of the plant. I was hooked and started taking photos of everything.
White Mulberry
We also enjoyed the different types of birds. For this we used the Merlin Bird ID app to record their song, and it would pull up what bird or birds we were hearing.
There was one bird in particular none of us had ever seen or heard before, the Eurasian Hoopoe. I spent about an hour following it all over the farm hoping to get a good photo.
Finally, he stopped for a pose—I think he looks quite prehistoric.
We relaxed all day listening to the birds, enjoying charcuterie and wine overlooking the beautiful rolling hills of Siena.
Our room had a surprise out our window; a wishing well. We felt as if we were in a fairy tale. Everything we had imagined Tuscany to be was that and more.
The property also boasted herb gardens, grape vines, olive trees, Italian cypress trees, a fishing pond with geese, chickens and honey bees.
We watched as the fields in the distance were plowed for their new crop of grain to be planted. All under the watchful eye of the antique farming equipment no longer used, but valued just the same.
We listened to the owner help his son learn to fish in the pond. Although he spoke in Italian, the tone of this father’s love would have been familiar to us in any language.
There is a rhythm to life on the farm. The first light of day beckons one outside to do what needs to be done as the sun makes its trek across the sky. Mundane chores aren’t cumbersome, but necessary; this is what keeps the beat alive. Time is precious and the fruit of this family’s labor is abundant. We enjoyed every bite.
As the sun set on this perfect day, we joined in its dance of gratefulness. Here, hard work brings with it its own reward. And we were the recipients of time well spent.
Our second full day in Tuscany took us to this ancient village. Some have dated it back to the 2 century BC. In America we can’t fathom this kind of history.
Montepulciano is known for its wine. In fact they have some of the oldest vineyards in all of Italy. Walking through the narrow cobblestoned streets we were offered wine tastings from many different vineyards.
Vineyards aren’t opened to the public as they are here in the states. I had dreamed of visiting a Tuscan vineyard overlooking rolling hills of ancient vines. But we soon learned that you must stay at the vineyard in order to experience it up close. All others must visit the many tasting rooms in villages such as Montepulciano.
The wine rooms are quaint and run by enthusiastic hosts. Tastings are free, plentiful and come with lots of cheeses, meats and breads to pair with each sip.
Our first tasting was in a small, narrow room lined with bricks, barrels and bottles of wine. It was quaint, but not what we were hoping for. Our host was gracious even when we left without purchasing any of her wine.
The next street we were welcomed by a sweet woman, Sarah was her name. She enticed us with a free tour of the underground tunnels. How could we resist?
We traveled with 6 friends on this trip, and Bonnie (and Bob) pictured here has a blog: Life on the Lighter Side. She will make you laugh and enjoy another side of our trip.
Down the steep, brick steps we learned of the many uses these hidden tunnels had in centuries past: Refuge from invaders, stables for livestock including horses, a place to make wheels of cheese, a hospital, and a torture chamber. Sarah even had a display of devices used to torture their prisoners—horrific!
But my favorite was the story of the families who shared this underground real estate. When all was well between the families, this iron gate was open and the families shared the space as needed. The underground well located behind the brick wall was shared by both families. (Notice the small windows on both sides of the wall? The well is inside this space).
When the families were feuding, this gate was closed and locked.
We could imagine a “Romeo and Juliet” story of a young couple meeting at the well to talk secretly and hold hands through these windows to the well. Sarah invited us to give it a try.
I am grateful this isn’t part of our dating story.
She took us further into the tunnels to show us its current use—wine aging. There were huge barrels down to small barrels. All were aged according to the quality of the wine desired.
The smaller the barrel the more flavor is drawn from it to the wine.
These glass ornaments on top have a practical purpose. Air contaminates the wine. This device is used to fill the barrel until the wine is seen in the glass. This lets them know all the air is removed from the barrel. We were told Leonardo de Vinci invented these—amazing. The barrel above is actually on display because it is special; The first one used by this vintner thus the No. 1.
At the end of this tour we were led to the tasting room where we tried so many varieties of wine. Sarah was engaging and knowledgeable. She welcomed our questions.
We loved the food pairing at this tasting most. Each cheese, meat or bread with various spreads, were selected to go with specific wines in order to enhance the wines’ flavor. It really made a difference.
When it was over we were led through the gift shop. Our favorite wine was from 2019 made from 100% Sangiovese grapes. The first time this had ever happened solely from their estate grown grapes. We bought a case to have shipped home to enjoy in the years to come. She recommended letting it age for 5-10 years. We’ll see about that!
Although we missed sipping wine al fresco at a vineyard, Sarah took us there with her expertise and hospitality.
Next time I’ll share how we recreated the vineyard experience we were missing. It was one of my favorite days!
I shared about our first night in Tuscany and the two chefs whom we hired to prepare us an authentic Italian meal. But I stopped at the appetizer—Tuscan Crackers.
While we were enjoying the wine and crackers these ladies were creating a masterpiece in the kitchen.
Our first course was the veggie bowls and charcuterie boards.
Cherry tomatoes, celery, carrots and fennel
The garden fresh quality of the veggies was impeccable. But the main course was about to take our expectations to a new level—spinach ravioli. Just.wow!
One of our friends swore that they hated ravioli—until…
The homemade pasta was spot on! And the filling made it even more memorable.
But we weren’t finished.
Our chefs made us biscotti to dip into their equivalent of dessert wine. It was so good…but…
There was more.
The homemade tiramisu was unmatched! I don’t normally order tiramisu, but I’m so glad we had this! It was creamy, filled with coffee flavors and delicious.
I remember when we were first reserving this meal it seemed expensive. But the night of the meal it was worth every penny.
Sometimes it’s worth it to go above and beyond your set plans. We will remember this meal for the rest of our lives, and I think that’s worth it.
The Romantic Vineyard 