Foodie Fridays – Farmers Market Day Date

Posted on August 23, 2024 by Debi Walter
A market we love in Clayton, GA

Living in Florida, it is difficult to grow a garden. Even my flowers are suffering in this unbearable heat, and they usually flourish.

Our local Farmer’s Market is a regular date we take together on Saturday mornings. We look over all the veggies and fruits and pick what looks good.

Last Saturday we drove to Winter Garden and noticed a huge pile of fresh picked poblano peppers. Their dark green shiny skin begged to be noticed. They succeeded and in our shopping tote they went. We also bought peaches, beefsteak tomatoes, mini cucumbers and bi-color, candy corn.

Tom and I usually enjoy eating breakfast at the market, but sadly our favorite food stand wasn’t there this week. What I didn’t know is that Tom had arranged for us to meet dear friends for breakfast at a new coffee shop just a few blocks away.

I love when he surprises me.

We had a delicious egg and cheese sandwich with bacon on a brioche bun, but catching up with our friends was sweetest part of the day.

Stuffed Poblano Peppers were placed on the week’s menu remembering how good they were when we first made them years ago. We used the recipe from the Dinner at the Zoo website and it was even better than we remembered!

We enjoyed them last night and can’t wait for you to try them for yourself.

A few changes to note: We used cheddar cheese instead of pepper jack because it’s what we had on hand. We also omitted the cilantro because we didn’t have any—but I would have loved it!

Thank you again for being a part of our vineyard. We enjoy hearing from you and pray your marriage benefits too.

Why not plan a date day this weekend? Make it even better by surprising your spouse.

Next Wednesday we will welcome a new granddaughter to our family. We can’t wait to meet Liliana Grace and Elias can’t wait to be her big brother. The best part is they only live a mile from us. #nanashappy 🥰

Have a great weekend,

Tom and Debi

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Together

Posted on August 19, 2024 by Debi Walter
Tom’s Birthday Cake

We have had a busy weekend celebrating Tom’s birthday. It was fun to really surprise him this year and give him one he’ll never forget.

Today we are tired because Monday is our scheduled day at the gym.

We work out twice a week with a trainer and another couple who are close friends. They couldn’t make it today, so Tom and I partnered on all the sets. He would do his set and rest while I did mine. It was good to see the progress we’ve made this year.

But what we really enjoy is going out for a good lunch after the workout. Honestly, this is often what motivates our endurance.

I found a new bakery in town where I purchased Tom’s birthday cake as shown above, and a few pastries for him to enjoy over the weekend. It’s called Paris Baguette in Winter Park, and it reminds me of the bakeries we visited in Paris. They also sell savory items such a baguette sandwiches and wraps. Delicious!

I took Tom there for lunch today, just the two of us. We shared a ham and cheese baguette and got a free pastry for using their app. As a treat I got a Lavazza Cold Brew coffee with almond milk. This is our favorite coffee that we make at home. And how fun to find it here!

We relaxed and enjoyed every bite. It felt as if we were on vacation with only our sore muscles reminding us that we weren’t.

Isn’t it nice to enjoy little snippets of time together to savor and relax over good food and conversation?

What is a favorite place you both enjoy together?

Thank you for being a part of our vineyard. We love hearing from you and pray that your marriage is benefiting from our posts. If you’d like you can sign up to receive every post by email, simply sign up in the column to the right on your computer, or click the subscribe button at the bottom of your iPhone screen.

Have a great week together,

Tom and Debi

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Foodie Fridays – Chicken Cacciatore, Bruschetta and Vanilla Cream Tarts with Cherries

Posted on August 16, 2024 by Debi Walter

Years ago I read a book that completely changed the way I viewed cooking and hosting friends in our home. The book’s title is, Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist.

My biggest takeaway from her book is the reminder of the privilege it is to have a messy kitchen to clean up. It’s evidence of a wonderful time shared together around the table.

This week we celebrated another birthday meal in our family for our son-in-love. He didn’t have a preference for dinner, but was craving vanilla cream pie with cherries. This would be a fun one to make.

My husband’s birthday is this Sunday, so I made one of his favorites for the dinner —Chicken Cacciatore over rice.

For the appetizer I chose bruschetta. This is something I’ve wanted to make since our trip to Italy last Spring.

First of all, I must admit I failed in trying to make the vanilla pie dairy free. It was awful. I’m grateful I still had time for plan B, which was homemade A2 whole milk vanilla pudding with cherry topping. The latter would have taken too long to make from scratch, so I opted for cherry pie filling from Duncan Hines. Surprisingly, all the ingredients were good, so I gave it a try.

It was a hit. I have learned to read labels to find products I can use with which I might not be famliar.

The chicken cacciatore comes from a cookbook my Italian mother-in-law gave me. It has been a favorite for as long as I can remember.

I wish I had a plated photo to share, but honestly, we were so hungry and focused on family, I forgot to take it. I guess this is the best reason.

Bruschetta
Vanilla Cream pie tart with cherry topping

I’ll close with this quote from Shauna:

“Many of the most sacred moments in my life, the ones in which I feel God’s presence most profoundly, when I feel the goodness of the world most arrestingly, take place around the table. Something extraordinary happens when we slow down, open our homes, look into one another’s faces, and listen to one another’s stories around the table.

This is my love letter to life around the table.”

Thank you so much for being a part of our vineyard. And a warm welcome to our new friends. We pray our posts help supply your marriage with all it needs to grow strong for a lifetime.

Have a great weekend,

Tom and Debi

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What Love Looks Like

Posted on August 14, 2024 by Debi Walter

This quote is from Dr. John Delony, bestselling author, mental health expert and host of the Dr. John Delony Show. He also is part of Dave Ramsey’s team of experts who spend their loves helping people out of their messes: emotional, spiritual, financial and more.

The advice above seems common sense in a healthy marriage, but sadly there are many husbands and wives who just don’t get it.

Marriage doesn’t come with an individualized owner’s manual. What works for your friends may or may not work for your marriage.

How can a marriage change if the two people involved aren’t willing to change themselves?

How do we fix what’s broken?

How can we learn to understand what seems impossible to grasp?

How do we talk about hot topics as adults, and not react in childish ways?

We wish we could say, “We can!” But we can’t.

This kind of heart work can only be repaired by the One who made both hearts—The God of the Universe.

He is Jehovah Jireh, which means “provider”. And it’s not our physical needs alone he cares for, but our emotional, spiritual and marriage needs as well.

If you don’t know God in this personal way, we would love to help you meet Him.

If you do, but haven’t found the help needed, we encourage you to find a healthy church community to join and get involved. We were never meant to do life in isolation. God made us and our marriages to be involved in a community of believers.

The only way to know what love looks like is to personally know the God of Love.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 ESV

Thank you for being a part of our Vineyard. We are grateful you desire to have a healthy marriage, and we pray our posts help you discover ways that work for your relationship.

We invite you to follow us on IG and on FB if you haven’t already. And also share our posts with your married friends. We all need encouragement to grow and change for God’s glory and our blog is one small way for us to hopefully make a difference.

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

Books by Dr. John Delony

Redefining Anxiety

Own Your Past, Change Your Future

Building A Non-Anxious Life

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Foodie Fridays – Summer Grilled Steak Salad

Posted on August 9, 2024 by Debi Walter

We were having friends over for a Friday afternoon lunch—a perk of retired life. 🥰

Tom and I decided a Steak Salad would be perfect for a hot Summer afternoon lunch, and it was.

Tom took care of marinating and grilling the steak and as well as grilling the fresh corn on the cob. I assembled the rest of the salad along with baking a crusty homemade bread. It all turned out quite delicious.

Our friends enjoyed it all with smiles and laughter. That is the best compliment we could ever receive.

If you would like to try this, here are the recipes: Marinated and Grilled Flank Steak, Grilled Steak Salad with Balsalmic Vinaigrette Dressing, Crusty No-Knead Bread.

Please note that we didn’t cook the steak as the salad recipe called for. We marinated it using the first recipe. Everything else we did according to the recipes.

What kinds of recipes have you found work best on hot, summer days?

Thanks so much for reading. We hope our Foodie Friday posts inspire you to try something new in the kitchen. Have a great weekend!

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

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Vintage Post: Are You an Eraser or a Highlighter

Posted on August 7, 2024 by Debi Walter

Originally posted in April, 2019, this is a good word worth repeating…

Erasers are used to take away errors giving an opportunity to make corrections. Highlighters are used to emphasize something you don’t want to forget. In marriage we can use both to either help or hurt our relationship.

How are we to use erasers in a way that will benefit our marriage most?

Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

Do you find it difficult in the heat of the moment to choose to not make a big deal out of something your spouse did that you don’t like?

Let’s look at the positive ways we can be an eraser:

  • Choosing to overlook when our spouse irritates us.
  • Thinking the best of them when something happens we don’t understand.
  • Focusing on the good we love about them, rather than the areas that still need attention.
  • Not venting to others about their struggles and/or sins.

Being an eraser requires a commitment beforehand to do this. Otherwise we are caught up in the emotions of the moment and will most often react.

How often Christ has modeled this for us in our own lives. He doesn’t nit-pick every mistake or sin. He gently chides us in the areas where change is needed. And He patiently forebears with us as we struggle. He remembers what we are made of. We would do well to aspire to treat our spouse with such kindness.

Highlighters are the exact opposite. They emphasize something to make it more visible.

How can we use a highlighter in a way that will benefit our marriage most?

Jesus tells us this analogy that will point us to part of the answer.

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew‬ ‭7:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Realizing our sin and how it impacts our spouse will help keep us from being quick to judge our spouse–highlighting our own failures and sins, rather than theirs.

I learned this the hard way, and the lesson will never be forgotten. God didn’t make me the standard-bearer for how my spouse should live. That is God’s job alone, and He is jealous to do His work.

Highlighters are also used to remember something we love in a book. How important to make much of those things we love about our spouse. Quips we can easily recite to ourselves when we are tempted to highlight the negative.

Positive ways we can be a highlighter:

  • Be quick to confess your sin to your spouse when necessary, and ask forgiveness. (This is highlighting your own need to change, a healthy habit in marriage).
  • Think often on those things you love most about your spouse. (Highlighting their strengths).
  • Communicate to them those things. Be specific.
  • Commend your spouse and their positive character to your friends and family. Especially your children. Let them hear your accolades of affection.
  • Remind yourself daily of the Gospel and how Christ’s finished work has informed your life and impacted your marriage to live this way.

We are all a work in progress. Our highest priority is to come alongside each other and help us each be the best version of ourselves we can be, for the glory of God.

Erasers and highlighters are common tools found in every marriage. Let’s not allow our marriage to be one that highlights the bad and erases the good. If this is an area in need of change, plan a night together to talk about it.

Welcome to our new followers. We are thrilled you are seeking to grow a healthy marriage for God’s glory. We also welcome your comments as we read and respond to them all.

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

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3 Ways to Diffuse an Argument

Posted on August 5, 2024 by Debi Walter

Every couple has disagreements. Sometimes those disagreements can become heated.

We may not be able to avoid the tense times, but there are ways to diffuse an argument before it ignites.

Imagine an argument is like a bundle of dynamite. It is always has the potential to explode, but the fuse has to be lit first.

#1 – Listen

We’ve all seen the old westerns where a fuse is lit and the flame winds its way through rocks and up the side of a mountain. The good guys are frantically trying to put the flame out before it is too late.

We breathe a sigh of relief when the good guys get there in time.

Listening to our spouse when we disagree is like lengthening the fuse attached to the dynamite. Talking together through hot topics before the heat is on helps us add distance between the start of a disagreement and the explosion of anger.

#2 – Lower Your Voice

My husband has said this to me over and over, especially when raising teens. But as I’ve grown older I’ve found my voice is stronger towards Tom than it was when we were younger. Many equate this to hormones, but I’m sure God doesn’t give me that excuse. Rather, He uses my changing hormones to continue sanctifying me more in His image. But I must cooperate.

Our current struggle is not hearing each other clearly. I may react to something and only discover this isn’t what Tom said at all. Whoops! It’s embarrassing to admit, but I must be honest if I am to change.

The next time your spouse says something where you want to explode, try this…think the best, ask more questions and talk like adults face to face. We should not be surprised that we disagree, but we should be when we explode about what we think is our spouse’s motive. That is God’s department, and I can rest that He will take care of convicting my spouse where needed.

The Bible says, “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” Proverbs 15:1 ESV

#3 – Admit When You are Wrong

Finally, there will be times when an argument is warranted. Your spouse, friend or counselor calls you out on it and you react. How is reacting with anger going to build a stronger marriage? If your spouse is seeing it, there is a reason.

Defending yourself only reveals pride.

Tom often says we all have blind spots, areas where we don’t realize how our actions, words or decisions are hurting our spouse. We must realize God will use anyone He can to get our attention. If you don’t heed His conviction, there may be a day when God gives you over to the consequences of your decisions. This should frighten every true believer of God.

When was the last time you told your spouse, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”?

These should be said often if your marriage is growing in the right direction. If you can’t remember the last time you genuinely repented, we encourage you to ask God to remove the scales or logs from your own eyes in order to repent.

“Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

We implore you to blow up your pride instead of blowing up at your spouse. The former is following the lead of the Holy Spirit known as the “narrow road”, and the latter is following the wide path to destruction.

Your marriage is worth protecting and it starts by diffusing all weapons formed against it—dynamite included.

Thank you for reading and welcome to all our new followers. We pray that our posts help you grow a healthy marriage for God’s glory. He is worthy of it all!

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

Posted in Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, communication, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Keeping It Real | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on 3 Ways to Diffuse an Argument

Foodie Fridays – Chicago, Thanks for the Memories

Posted on August 2, 2024 by Debi Walter

Tom and I have enjoyed so many meals and moments in Chicago.

The business we owned was a commercial food equipment parts and service distributor. Every May, (C-FESA) the National Association to which we were members, had meetings at the National Restaurant Association (NRA) annual trade show held at McCormick Place.

We would stay at a beautiful high rise hotel on the “Magnificent Mile”, also known as Michigan Avenue.

May is a gorgeous time to visit The Windy City. It is when all the flower beds on either side of the street are filled with tulips of every color and variety. Being a native Floridian, this was something I had never seen and it was breathtaking!

It was obvious Spring was happy to return.

Add to the floral beauty the sounds of a bustling downtown alive with pedestrians, tourists and residents all scrambling to their destination; the energy was addictive.

But what I loved most about this season of our life was the food.

Photo from The Drake Hotel website

The High Tea at the historic Drake Hotel is like stepping back in time. Fresh flower arrangements don every nook of the lobby and spacious dining room. Tapestries and antique mirrors add warmth and beauty to the setting. A classical harpist dressed in a formal attire strokes the strings quietly adding a touch romance. The tea is served with finger sandwiches of cucumber, egg salad and other edible delights. It is more than tea, it is an experience you’ll not soon forget.

Over the years we became good friends with two couples, one from Arizona and one from Wisconsin. Being in the restaurant industry we shared a love for fine dining. Each year we would take turns picking where to eat. One year we happened on an all-time favorite, Keefers. Unfortunately it is no longer in business, but the food lives on in my palate’s memory.

It was here that I discovered Dover Sole. It is a delicate white fish caught off the coast of England. It is usually filleted table side and served with a lemon caper cream sauce. Ahhh!

This last week Tom planned a couple of days away as part of my birthday present. What I didn’t know was he had made reservations for us at a restaurant serving Dover Sole. I was giddy with delight. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had it so this was going to be a treat.

The fish was beautifully prepared and served hot. When I was almost finished I found a few bones that our server missed while filleting, which kept me from enjoying all of it, but I was extremely satisfied.

Food has a way of leaving an imprint on the palate like a photograph leaves for the eyes. Replicating an imprint is not easy, but Tom managed to do it well. He gave me this gift that was new, yet held a fond memory I’ll always cherish.

Now that’s a gift for which I am grateful despite a few bones. Thanks for the memory, Chicago!

What imprints do you or your spouse recall? Think of ways you could you recreate it for them and make it happen.

Thank you for reading and for sharing. We are grateful that you have chosen to visit our vineyard.

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

Posted in Cherish, Christian Marriage, Foodie Fridays, Intimacy, Travel | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Making Ordinary Days Special

Posted on July 31, 2024 by Debi Walter

Dating your spouse is a mindset. It is the desire to be together doing things you both love. The key word is “together”.

Using this definition can make an ordinary, running of errands, kind of day into a date, if you’re doing it together.

This has never been more true than in our current season of retirement. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as we make the most of the time to talk, listen and connect.

Dating your spouse is caring for your spouse.

So this weekend why not care for your spouse by being present and giving your full-attention to each other. You may realize there is a hidden treasure in ordinary moments.

Happy Dating,

Tom and Debi

Thanks for visiting our vineyard. And thank you for sharing. Mostly we are grateful that you stopped by showing that marriage matters to you.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Daytime Dates, Growing Strong Marriages, Retirement, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Making Ordinary Days Special

How To Tell If You’re Selfish In Your Marriage

Posted on July 29, 2024 by Debi Walter

Our church is going through Proverbs and today was chapter 5. Loving marriage the way we do, we have committed our lives to encourage intimacy on emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual levels. But there is a fifth aspect of intimacy we all have vowed but may not realize. It’s when we vowed to love AND cherish each other.

Gary Thomas’ book, Cherish, has been the tool used in our marriage to bring understanding to what it means to cherish each other. It’s basically an unselfish love that seeks to build up and strengthen your spouse without regard for your own need. If both are cherishing each other, intimacy can’t help but grow.

Love flows through open doors.

If either spouse is shutting the door of communication, listening or repenting, the marriage will suffer. It may even die for lack of love and care.

Imagine a parent who has a newborn baby. The needs are great and without the needed care the baby would die. It’s the same in marriage. Your spouse’s affections will suffer if you are only thinking of yourself.

Selfishness has no place in a healthy marriage.

How can you tell if you’re being selfish?

1. Ask those who know you best. Most likely they’ve observed your self-focus in how you relate to your spouse.

2. Ask your children. You may not realize it, but they learn more from your example than they do your words.

3. Ask your spouse, but do so with ears to hear them. Resist the desire to defend yourself, even if you don’t see it the way they do; pride rarely agrees with being challenged. It requires a humility to hear correction from those closest to you.

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬-‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Marriage, in order to grow through the years, requires a willingness of both husband and wife to grow and mature. The only way this happens is to each prefer the interests and desires of the other.

Let’s pursue what cherishing looks like in our marriage. It will be different for every couple, but it is what all marriages need.

Thanks for reading and welcome to our new followers. We are glad you’re wanting to grow a healthy marriage for God’s glory. If you haven’t yet, you can sign up to receive our posts via email. We’d love for you to join our vineyard.

Have a blessed week,

Tom and Debi

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Open Door

Posted on July 22, 2024 by Debi Walter

Doors can welcome you in or shut you out. What determines one over the other is who is on either side of the door.

If it is friends coming over for game night, you gladly open the door for them and probably with a huge smile on your face.

If it is a solicitor or a bill collector, you may hide from the door hoping they do not see you are home.

If it is a thief checking to see if you answer, it can be alarming and frightening.

But what about the door of your heart?

We most likely offer access to those we love and trust; or at least we should. Does your spouse have access? If not, why?

– Do they say things that are hurtful?

– Do they manipulate your response to serve their preferences over yours?

– Do they not even bother to knock—either avoiding you or out right ignoring you?

If any of these three questions resonate with you, please seek help. This is not how a healthy marriage works. If a marriage is strong you will welcome their knocks any time. You will benefit from their perspective and grow as a result.

Cultivating a strong marriage is hard. If yours seems easy right now, know that hard times will come. When two different people with a sinful nature make a lifelong covenant there will be friction. But this friction can be good for our heart.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Cultivating the trust required to benefit from your spouse’s perspective will grow over time. Each conflict should bring greater understanding of how you both think and thus, how you relate.

Tom is a steady influence in my ever distracted heart.

In our 45 years together I have grown in trusting his advice. He has been the safest relationship I have ever had. And I believe it is because God has led us through every difficult misunderstanding, argument or disagreement. We don’t have to be alike to have a strong relationship. We only need to glean from each other’s perspective.

This is how his iron sharpens mine and I am better me as a result.

Do I enjoy conflict? By no means.

Compare it to a surgeon who has the ability to repair what is ailing me. I have to trust his hand to make me better.

So it is with conflict. Something is off in your communication and needs to be repaired. Trust is needed for this to happen and that is acquired with practice. James says:

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?”
‭‭James‬ ‭4‬:‭1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Marriage is a one of the best ways to discover what is at war in your own heart.

God will use this relationship more than any other to make us better than we could ever be alone. But we must invite our spouse through the door of our heart; Welcome their perspective or advice and see how God uses them to bring lasting heart change.

I know it happens because this is what Tom and I have experienced and it is good.

Thanks for reading and following. We pray your marriage is helped and given hope today.

Blessings,

Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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Foodie Fridays – New Favorite

Posted on July 19, 2024 by Debi Walter

There is a local restaurant where we have gone for years. They used to serve a Veggie Flatbread pizza that was amazing. I thought the secret ingredient was red baby potatoes, but I was wrong!

When I asked the server what these amazing gems were I couldn’t believe it; they were roasted radishes. I was disappointed when the restaurant no longer used the radishes on their veggie pizza.

I avoid gluten often, not because I’m allergic but because I’m sensitive to it. Costco sells a frozen GF Cauliflower crusted pizza that Tom and I love. I decided to try my hand at adding roasted radishes to our favorite pizza at home.

I’m happy to say it was ahhh-mazing.

Surprisingly, when radishes are roasted the spiciness is replaced with a sweetness—like potatoes.

I washed and halved the radishes and roasted them in a hot (450) degree oven until tender.

I cooked the frozen pizza halfway then sprinkled the roasted radishes on the pizza. It was delicious.

It’s nice to figure out how to replicate favorites at home. Not only is it less expensive, but we can have it whenever we want.

Have a great weekend!

Welcome to our new followers. We are happy to have you visit our vineyard. Sign up via email so you don’t miss a post.

Blessings, Tom and Debi

Posted in Christian Marriage, Foodie Fridays | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

I Have A Question

Posted on July 17, 2024 by Debi Walter

Years ago we offered a daily Healthy Marriage Tip on our Facebook page. It was a gentle nudge to help remind you to focus on your marriage each day. Above is a meme I made with one of the questions.

We decided to put them in a book for you to have handy whenever you sensed the need.

Cherishing Us is available in paperback or on Kindle on Amazon. As a bonus we’ve included our 150+ date night questions in the back too. Now you can have good questions to ask your spouse whenever you feel the need to connect.

Thanks for taking the time to visit our vineyard. We are grateful you’re here. Did you know you can sign up via email so you won’t miss a single post?

Blessings, Tom and Debi

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Why Romance Matters

Posted on July 15, 2024 by Debi Walter

Our blog is called The Romantic Vineyard, so naturally romance is a key focus of ours. But romance can’t take the place of being intentional in growing your marriage for the purpose God designed.

Marriage between and husband and wife was created by God. It was His idea not just for procreation, but to be a visible model of Christ’s love for His bride—the Church.

If we lose sight of the big picture purpose of our relationship we run the risk of making it all about our individual happiness. And whenever we focus on self, nothing godly comes of it.

You see Christ laid down His life so that we could have life abundantly and no longer stand guilty before a Holy God. He denied self because He loved us first. He knew that to restore our relationship with His Father, it would require His complete surrender.

This is amazing news for marriage!

We have a perfect example of how to succeed in our marriage—lay down our life for the good of our spouse.

Of course for this to make a healthy marriage, it requires both partners to prefer the other above themselves.

There are some marriages where this is expected by a controlling husband. This is not the model Jesus, the Groom, set forth for husbands.

There are also some marriages where a proud and selfish wife refuses to appreciate the humility and unselfish acts of her husband, which is how the Church is called to respond to Christ.

The only way for Marriage to mature is for both spouses to pursue godliness together.

Now for romance in a healthy marriage—it is the overflow of worship to God where romance has weight.

It is no longer a night out to dinner or going to the movies together. It can be, but the time we set aside for ourselves is much more. We want to be together. We value any time we have to connect without distractions. We care what our spouse is thinking and make time to listen wholeheartedly.

This is why romance matters; it is a barometer for how the rest of our marriage is doing.

Romance isn’t the answer for how to have a healthy marriage; it’s the results of one.

Thanks for taking the time to visit our vineyard. We are grateful you’re here, and you can sign up so as not to miss a single post.

Photo Cred: Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Posted in Cherish, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Intimacy, Romance in Marriage, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Foodie Fridays – A Challenge Accepted

Posted on July 12, 2024 by Debi Walter
Enjoying a movie together

Our 10 year old granddaughter just spent a week with us. She is the one in our daughter’s family who has always had a mature palate for her age. I have a video of her at 12 months sipping her mom’s coffee and saying, “Mmm, more?!”

When I asked her what she would like for breakfast, without hesitation she said, “Crepes!” I told her I’ve never made them before, but I was up for the challenge.

I looked up highly rated recipes on-line and found this one on the site Budget Byte$. I didn’t realize you can make them savory or sweet, so I asked Brielle which she would prefer. She responded, “Sweet, with Nutella and strawberries.”

I was excited to try making these. We have dear friends from Ukraine who stay with us each February. One year she made us hers and they were addicting. She made a pile of them because in their family of 6 they get eaten hot out of the pan. I had forgotten I much we enjoyed them until Brielle’s request.

Ok then. Off to the store I went to purchase fresh strawberries and a jar of Nutella.

Brielle approved. ❤️

These can be stored in the freezer too. It’s fun to have a new favorite to make for Tom.

Have you tried something new for your family recently? I’d love to hear about it.

Have a great weekend exploring new adventures in your kitchen as well as your marriage. This keeps your relationship fresh and growing, which healthy marriages require.

Welcome to all who are visiting today, we are glad you stopped by our vineyard. Be sure to sign up by email so you don’t miss a post, and we’d love for you to share us with your married friends as well.

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What’s Your Marriage Forecast?

Posted on July 10, 2024 by Debi Walter
Originally posted April 6, 2019

Weather. We depend on it for so much of our activities. Will we do this or that? It all depends on the weather. No one wants to eat outside when it’s too cold or too hot. Nor do we plan a picnic when it’s humid – anytime between June and November in Florida. We choose our activities based on the perfect weather conditions for it, don’t we? We can control what we choose to do based on the comfort level available.

In marriage we would do well to consider this truth.

What is the temperature in your home? A bit cold lately? This is not the time to discuss sensitive subjects. It’s best to warm up a bit by showing love and care towards each other. We can control the temperature by adjusting our attitudes and expectations. This goes both ways.

Oftentimes our greatest disappointments are because we expected too much and communicated too little.

Maybe things are really heated and you’ve discovered there are some topics where you just can’t agree. That’s when good friends are a needed asset, like a good weather forecaster.

Tom and I have recently come up against some differences of opinion on important things, but not crucial things. It really effects nothing more than our schedule to do it his way or my way. What we need is to come to a place where we can agree to disagree. Friends are great at bringing us to this resolve. They can ask questions in a way that makes us think of the other’s perspective. There really is no right or wrong answer, it is a matter of preference. And shouldn’t we prefer one another over our own desires? Especially the one we say we love the most?

What about you? How do you avoid tumultuous weather conditions? How do you navigate heated topics? Or how do you deal with the chill of neglect in your home? It all comes down to what we vowed in the first place. Didn’t we promise to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better or worse? I think this post falls in the “or worse” scenario. No one likes to be too cold or too hot. Just ask Goldilocks (sorry, I couldn’t resist!) We prefer things to be just right. But when they aren’t? Don’t sulk and pull away. Phone a friend instead. They really are like a trusted weather forecaster who helps you prepare and avoid being caught in the elements. And maybe they will also bring the needed refreshment to cool a hot debate.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise.” – Proverbs 13:20a

What friends do you have that can help you with your marriage forecast?

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Foodie Fridays – Fondue House Du Pont

Posted on June 28, 2024 by Debi Walter

We have never been fondue people, but hey! We were in Switzerland, where cheese fondue was born. We had to give it the spotlight its reputation had secured.

I did some research and found a highly reviewed fondue restaurant called—Fondue House Du Pont. It is set overlooking the Reuss River with the Swiss Alps as a backdrop. Simply breathtaking!

St. Peter’s Chapel

The Swiss cheese fondue was served with potatoes and bread. We ordered additional veggies on the side.

The fondue was prepared on our table by our server who hoped to stir our appetite as well. It worked. We couldn’t wait for him to hand us our forks!

The delicious organic Swiss cheese was hot, creamy and everything I’d hoped it would be.

Dining this way allowed us to relax, talk and laugh with our friends as we enjoyed this afternoon together.

We were quite full, but couldn’t resist trying the chocolate fondue.

This came with a platter of marshmallows, pound cake, bananas, strawberries, pineapple (which was surprisingly good) and meringue swirls. The rich creamy milk chocolate coated the fruits and cakes making for the perfect ending to a memorable meal.

We ended the afternoon by taking a stroll along the river.

We passed an incredible street market full of farm fresh vegetables and fruits. How I wished I could have taken some home to cook. But our hotel didn’t come with a kitchen.

Next we came to the Chapel Bridge, so named for the nearby St. Peter’s Chapel. The wooden covered bridge connects the two sides of Lucerne, diagonally across the river. It is the oldest bridge of its kind in Europe originally dating back to the 1360s.

The bridge is also known for some of the most beautiful artwork painted on the trusses overhead. Many were destroyed in a fire on August 18, 1993 and only 30 of the 157 paintings were fully restored. (Source: Wikipedia)

As we walked along the river we couldn’t help but thank God for the history of this beautiful town.

Lucerne will long be remembered in our hearts and tastebuds.

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Welcome Summer

Posted on June 26, 2024 by Debi Walter

Summer provides some of the best time to connect as a couple and with your family. Yet if we are not intentional it can be over before we know it.

Why not plan a special date with a back-to-school theme for your spouse?

Here’s the idea:

1. Draw up an entrance exam for your spouse about yourself. Make it easy for them to ace it. Questions like: What’s my favorite vacation spot? What do I love to do most with my free time? Etc. You know what your spouse would know about you. Make it as long as you like and have fun with it.

2. Time for math. Write down the year you were married. Under that the number of years you’ve been married. Next how many children you have, the house or apartment number of your first place, the number of cars you’ve owned, the number of jobs you’ve both had and the number pets you’ve had. Add these all up and marvel at the sum of your life together so far.

3. Lunch time. You can take this one as far as you want. Look for an old lunch box at the Thrift store, or use a brown paper bag. Make a special school lunch you’ll both love. It’s better if they’re different so you can make trades if you like.

4. Time for recess! Plan a friendly competition of a game you both enjoy. You can make your own rules to make it a bit more adventurous too. Win or Dare Putt Putt is a fun challenge. We also have a version of Jenga, Scrabble or Clue with a Sexy Twist

5. Homework assignment. It’s time for your spouse to plan next week’s romantic adventure. Check out our Alphabet Date Ideas for inspiration.

We have been blogging since 2008. The Romantic Vineyard began as a way to share date night ideas before there were many sites like this available. Now the internet is full of ideas and the fact that you still consider us a resource is humbling. Thank you. The time has gone by so fast!

It has been our vision since we were married to help couples succeed in their marriage.

Whether it’s through ideas for connection to cultivate your friendship, hearing truth from God’s Word that changes a heart, or sharing testimonies of God’s faithfulness to us or to others. This site’s only purpose is to come along side you and help your marriage not only survive but thrive. We are you have the best Summer making memories that last.

Thank you for reading, for following us, and for sharing our Vineyard with others.

Blessings.

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Rituals or Routines

Posted on June 24, 2024 by Debi Walter

We all have them; habits or routines that we do with little or no thought. Some are more meaningful than others. Compare drinking your morning coffee to brushing your teeth. Both are necessary, but morning coffee is a ritual all caffeine lovers anticipate with joy, while brushing your teeth is a needed routine.

A ritual Tom and I share is our morning devotions. We read the same Bible plan separately but at the same time. We are then able to talk about what we’ve read. This is a fairly new one that started when Tom retired, and it has become one of our favorite morning rituals. Add some good coffee or strong tea and it’s perfect!

Rituals give room for connection in the busiest seasons of life.

One ritual that has been established the longest in our marriage is our weekly date night. (Again, once Tom retired everyday became a potential date day, and we love it.)

When our kids were home our date night was a necessary ritual to focus on just us.

I have a friend whose husband gave her flowers every Friday for years. He knew she loved fresh flowers so he made sure she had them. It became a ritual she anticipated.

Rituals are meaningful, routines are mundane.

Routines are necessary but not always enjoyed. Rituals bring deep satisfaction and are missed when they no longer occur.

What routines in your relationship can you turn into a ritual? Here’s a hint: What are some of your spouse’s favorite things or activities? How can you make these things happen more often?

Marriage begins with the ritual of exchanging our wedding vows.

“To love and to cherish until death do us part.”

Let’s purpose to take our vows to the next level by establishing some rituals unique to us. It will keep our relationship from becoming mundane, and we’ll make great memories along the way.

Posted in Boredom, Cherish, Christian Marriage, Dating Your Spouse, Growing Strong Marriages, Intimacy, Priorities, Spiritual | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Foodie Fridays – Lucerne and Signature Dishes

Posted on June 21, 2024 by Debi Walter

Lucerne was our first time in Switzerland, a country Tom and I have both wanted to visit. It was another chance to experience something new together.

Our hotel, the Hotel Wilden Mann, was in the city center of Lucerne and was built over 500 years ago! What? America is half the age of this place. The history hung on every wall and seeped from every corner. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a tour of my accommodations, until here. I can only imagine the stories hidden in these halls.

The Lobby, Hotel Wilden Mann
The tiny elevator
Outside our 4th floor room
Antiques and Art galore
Looking down the ancient stairwell

We were happy for cold weather since the hotel has no air conditioning.

By the time we checked in we were famished.

Our hotel recommended a restaurant right around the corner, Wirtshaus Taube. We checked it out and couldn’t resist the charm welcoming us to Lucerne. Besides it was raining and we wanted a dry cozy place to fill our empty stomachs.

This is the dish I ordered and it was delicious!

Reosti (fried potatoes with melted cheese, bacon, fried egg and chives). Their signature dish.

While I didn’t order the following, I wished I had. This is on my list of recipes to try at home. I did some research and found this recipe on the Once Upon a Foodblog site.

Swiss Mac and Cheese with applesauce

Foodie Fridays are making me hungry. I must try this recipe soon and share the results with you.

What recipes have you discovered abroad that are now favorites? Please share your finds with us.

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