Beatles Date Night Idea

Posted on February 28, 2014 by Debi Walter

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 50 years since The Beatles first stepped foot in America appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show. We recorded the star-studded Grammy Celebration, which gave me a great idea for our Valentine’s dinner this year. I’ve laid it out for you in easy steps to follow, but you can add your own touches as well. For instance you may not like the songs I picked to highlight, but the good news is they have a plethora of titles from which to choose. The point is to make the night memorable for your spouse.

Step 1 – Mail your spouse a letter to invite them to “your house” for dinner and the date. On the back of the envelope write: Enclosed–All My Lovin’ ♥

Step 2 – Plan the menu using song titles as a springboard of idea. I served Strawberry Fields Forever Green Salad, Get Back Baby Back Ribs, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Saute’, Twist and Shout My Honey Pie. (Alternative ideas to consider: Green Apple Pie, I Wanna Hold Your Hand-Tossed Pizza, Blackbird Pot Pie, Don’t Let Me Down Souffle’, Blueberry Fool On The Hill, Glass Onion Soup, The Hippy Hippy Milk Shake, Moonlight Bay Scallops, Sun King Crab Legs)

Step 3 – Decorate using all white linens and plates, if you have them to represent the White Album. Dress in all white too, or buy Beatles T-shirts for both of you to wear.

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Step 4 – Set up a Pandora Station or Spotify Station for the Beatles.

Step 5 – Plan what you’ll do after dinner. Give them a Ticket To Ride on a train somewhere, or at a carnival nearby. Watch a Beatles concert on DVD. Play the music from Step 4 and tell your spouse, “I’m Happy Just To Dance With You“.

That’s it! As you can see it doesn’t take much to make an evening at home your spouse is sure to remember for a Long, Long, Long time. Hello, Goodbye, until next time. Enjoy this classic love song…

Posted in Artsy Dates, Christian Marriage, Creative Dates, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Holidays, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

When Jealousy Whispers–Flee!

Posted on February 26, 2014 by Debi Walter
Graphic Credit: jasonavant.wordpress.com

Graphic Credit: jasonavant.wordpress.com

Do you or your spouse struggle with jealousy? Is it towards your spouse or is it towards others who have more than you or something you want, but don’t have?

Jealousy is a destroyer of marriage. It is an impostor. It doesn’t seek the good of the other. It seeks to separate close relationships, and it should be resisted at all costs.

There have been times in my marriage that I have struggled with being jealous. I share this with you in hopes of helping you see that if you struggle with this sin, you are not alone. Or if you are on the receiving end of jealousy, you can, by God’s grace, understand your spouse as Tom worked hard to understand me. Both are important to hear and believe.

I remember when our kids were little, I was jealous that Tom got to drive to work without the noise of little people fighting in the background. He got to eat all of his lunch without interruptions, and he didn’t have to share his french fries. <sigh> Yes, I was seeing Tom’s life with rose-colored glasses and mine with a dirge playing on pipes.  I am being overly dramatic in the hopes of helping you hear the whispers of jealousy and how such thoughts will lead you down a road with all sorts of dissensions. Flee!

But how? How do we flee when we’ve given ear to it’s voice?

The Bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee, but before that we’re instructed to draw near to God. It is when we draw close to Him that we find the strength to withstand the whispers of the enemy.

It was also helpful for me to realize that jealous can be a good thing, but there is only One who is holy enough to possess it–God, the Father. His name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14 says, “for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God”)

When we allow ourselves to be jealous of another, we are taking on a name that is reserved for God alone. Only He is holy and just and can be jealous without sin. Not so with us. When we put on jealousy this is what it looks like:

“But the Jews were jealous, and taking some wicked men of the rabble, they formed a mob, set the city in an uproar, and attacked the house of Jason, seeking to bring them out to the crowd.” Acts 17:5 ESV

When we put on jealousy it can only lead to death.

In the case with the Jews as stated above, they eventually put Jesus to death, even though there was nothing found in Him worthy of death, especially death on a Cross. Imagine the damage done in our marriage when we give our ear to the whispers of jealousy.

  • You may be jealous of things you only imagine as being true.
  • You may be jealous of vain suspicions.
  • You may be jealous of your spouse’s time.
  • You may be jealous of the things your spouse gets to do.

Whatever it is you’re tempted to be jealous over, there is a better way. Instead of listening to these subtle whispers, ask God to help you “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” as it says in Romans 12:15.  Ask Him to help you think on, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things…and the God of peace will be with you.”

And I believe He will silence the whispers of jealousy if you draw near to Him, resist the temptation and flee! How do I know? Because this is what He has done in my life, and the peace that follows is worth the fight!

In what ways has jealousy whispered in your ear?

Posted in Christian Marriage, Conflict, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | 2 Comments

Celebrating 35 Years Today

Posted on February 24, 2014 by Debi Walter

Our Wedding Portrait

Our wedding day–February 24, 1979

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Here we are today–February 24, 2014

♥

35 Years of Marriage

13036 Days Together

5 Addresses

20 Countries Visited

3 Children

7 adorable grandchildren

♥

We love in the light of God’s love for as long as we both shall live.

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Anniversaries, Celebration Dates, Celebrations | 8 Comments

15 Ways To Make Your Anniversary Stand Out

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: kenareashenaei.blogfa.com

Photo Credit: kenareashenaei.blogfa.com

Every married couple has one. Some remember them more fondly than others, but they should all be celebrated. Even in the most difficult times, our anniversaries serve as a reminder of the covenant we both agreed to for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. That about covers every challenge a married couple can face together. And it’s in our “togetherness” that the burden can be lightened if we let it.

Tom and I will celebrate 35 years on the 24th. 35 years!

How did we get here? Only by the grace of God because we are two sinners who do what sinner do–sin! But we have a remedy for our sins, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We celebrate His grace on our anniversary because we know that left to ourselves we would have never made it this far.

I love to plan romantic memories for us, and after 35 years I have quite a list. Now I want to share my list with you in an effort to help you plan a special memory for your anniversary this year. On a side note–I haven’t done everything on this list, but hopefully will.

  1. Think of one word to describe each year you’ve been married. If you have lots of years behind you this one might be more challenging. But give it a try. It’s always good to look back and remember how far we’ve come. Then share your list with your spouse thanking them for each year.
  2. Recreate something from your honeymoon. It can be a special dinner, songs you danced to, or any other activity you really enjoyed 😉 on your time away as Mr. & Mrs.
  3. Watch your wedding video.
  4. Make a photo book of pictures from every year you’ve been married.
  5. Make a music video using the same pictures, but put it to your favorite love songs as the background music.
  6. Give them a year of romantic dates based on the number of years you’ve been married. For example–if you’ve been married 11  years, plan 11 dates sometime over the course of the next year.
  7. Give your spouse a day of all their favorites. This can be any number of things–like a massage, day at the beach, golfing, fishing, roller skating, along with their favorite foods. The more you can do in the day the better. And don’t tell them what’s coming next. We heard of one husband who sent his wife to one place and when she finished he would send her a text telling her where to go next. I think she went for a massage/mani/pedi, to the hair salon, to the mall for a new outfit, and finally met him at a great restaurant for a romantic evening.
  8. Follow the traditional list of anniversary gifts and give them something for your year.
  9. I love using the number of years married as a spring board for ideas. For example, if you’ve been married 12 years, that’s a dozen. Celebrate the #12 by coming up with dozens of things to do or gifts to give. How about making them a personal calendar with one date day each month. If you’ve been married 16 years–that’s Sweet 16. Let “sweet” be your theme. You get the idea.
  10. Plan way ahead and start saving for a really nice gift. I did this one year by taking an extra $5 from the grocery budget, as well as had garage sales and such through out the year. I managed to save $400 to buy Tom a really nice stereo system. And we were living paycheck to paycheck, so I know it can be done. It just takes incentive and determination. Once you see how you blessed your spouse, it’ll inspire you even more.
  11. Do something totally out of your normal routine, like rent a convertible and go for a drive in the country all day long–or to the beach. Plan ahead and put a picnic in the trunk to be spontaneous.
  12. Commit to planning a regular date night for the rest of the year. You could do Alphabet Dates, which would provide 26 dates, and many of them are at home dates not requiring a babysitter.
  13. Plan a special getaway together. It may not happen on your anniversary, but you could spend the evening talking and dreaming about. Maybe even book your flights or your cruise date.
  14. Set the timer for the number of years you’ve been married, and blindfold your spouse. Have your way with them until the timer goes off. Guaranteed this anniversary gift will be a favorite! 🙂
  15. Find time to thank God for all the things He’s brought you through together. Think out loud of all the ways you’ve both changed through the years, and end the night by taking communion together.

What would you add to the list? How do you make your anniversaries special?

Posted in Anniversaries, Celebration Dates, Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Romance in Marriage, Romantic Ideas | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

Posted on February 14, 2014 by Debi Walter
Graphic Credit: CoolChaser.com

Graphic Credit: CoolChaser.com

Our final video is one we created ourselves. We’ve shared it before, but the message is too good to not include in this series.

Together.

This is a word that describes what marriage is all about. We’re together through every situation–good or bad–that we’ll face in this life. And the only way it’s possible to stay together is through God’s grace. He is the One we celebrate most on Valentine’s Day because we love because He first loved us. And showed what laying your life down for another looks like, and what it requires.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! May you be reminded of all the years you’ve shared so far…Together!

The Winner of our Valentine’s Day Giveaway is: Kathy King-Kauffman

Congratulations! Thanks to all who took part. We appreciate you!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Holidays, Music, Romance in Marriage, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: Six Word Love Story blog

Photo Credit: Six Word Love Story blog

There are some songs that evoke a sense of oneness and romance like no other. Today’s video is such a song–Adele’s voice is soothing and compelling. She draws you into the story she weaves with her musical notes and lyrics. It’s a beautiful song we hope will inspire some serious slow dancing and kissing this Valentine’s Day.

As a challenge, see if you can do this: sit next to each other on the couch, play this song, and look into each other’s eyes while the music plays. Let the words renew your conviction to always love your spouse no matter where life takes you.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Holidays, Music, Romance in Marriage, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on 5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: John Legend via Vimeo

Photo Credit: John Legend via Vimeo

Today’s video speaks of what true love looks like. It requires complete surrender, total devotion through all the seasons of life, and seeing perfection in your spouse’s imperfections. Enjoy this song by John Legend titled, All Of Me…

Posted in Christian Marriage, Holidays, Music, Romance in Marriage, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photography by: Courtesy of Timberline Lodge

Photography by: Courtesy of Timberline Lodge

February is a special month for us. It’s a time when we reflect on our life and love together. No matter how many years you’ve been married, there is something about reflecting on your wedding day that inspires romance like nothing else.

I had never heard of this song by Landon Austin titled, Once In A Lifetime, until I found this excellent video by a young couple who were married last year. They used this song as the backdrop for their “first look video”. Watch it and let it take you back to the first time your husband saw you in your wedding gown, or when your eyes first saw your beautiful bride.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Holidays, Music, Romance in Marriage, Valentine's Day | Tagged | Comments Off on 5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

5 Romantic Videos For Your Valentine

Posted on February 10, 2014 by Debi Walter

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Face it. Nothing says romance better than music. It can lift a weary soul to see the good. It can wash away the trouble you’re facing, if only for a moment. This week we want to highlight some of our favorite romantic videos for your enjoyment. May these songs direct your gaze towards your spouse with love and gratefulness for all that God has given you.

First up? An a cappella men’s group whose harmonies are incredible–Straight No Chaser.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Music | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

If Your Walls Could Speak… (A Valentine Giveaway)

Posted on February 7, 2014 by Debi Walter

…what would they say?

We love wall decals. It’s personalizing your home in a unique way to you and your family. Recently we discovered an on-line business that takes wall decals to a whole new level. Before, I used to look at the few sold at Target hoping to find one that said something I wanted my walls to say. Now I’ve discovered a new venue called WiseDecor.com they can make your walls say whatever is in your heart to say. The hardest part is choosing!

In our dining room we have one that says: The fondest memories are made while gathered around the table.

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In our kitchen we have one that says: It’s so good to be HOME, as well as another that says, Bon Appetit.

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If you could choose–what quote, Bible verse or saying would you want your walls to speak? Wall Decor.com offers ideas for every room in your home! I had so much fun perusing every link, but I must warn you–it makes deciding that much more difficult, but oh so fun! 😉

Once you pick your design and place your order, you’ll receive great customer service. My order arrived neatly packed ready to hang. All instructions and tools are included to make it as easy as possible. It took me longer to get my folding ladder out than it did to put the decal on my wall, and I did it all by myself–surprising Tom when he walked in the door. And you know I love surprising him! It’s a hobby of mine. 🙂

Finally we are pleased to inform you of our fantastic Valentine Giveaway for 2014:

The kind folks at Wise Decor have agreed to give one of our readers one decal of the winner’s choice. All you have to do is comment with what you would want your walls to say. You will also get extra entries for joining each of the following social sites for Wall Decor. Let us know when you comment which ones you joined for the extra entries.

Facebook: WiseDecor Decorative Lettering

Twitter: @wisedecor

Google +: WiseDécor Decorative Lettering 

Pinterest: WiseDecor Decorative Lettering

A winner will be selected on February 14th, so get your entries in by midnight February 13th. (Winner chosen using Random.org.)

Posted in Christian Marriage, Contests, romanticizing your master bedroom | Tagged , , , , , , | 20 Comments

What Paper, A Groundhog And The Super Bowl Have In Common…

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Debi Walter

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They’re all three alive and well!

No matter how much you enjoy your electronics, there is some paper that will never die. 🙂 We found a video that is hilarious, and probably the reality of many couples who live with a techie spouse. You’ll find it at the end of this post.

Today also happens to be Groundhog Day, a day that has been celebrated for the past 128 years in PA. It has been quoted that “Punxsutawney Phil. Will. Not. Die.” His popularity only increases year after year, so we agree with the likelihood of his immortality.

Finally, today is the Super Bowl featuring the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Sea Hawks. If you’re not into watching football, but your spouse is, check out these great ideas for connecting with your spouse during the big game from Fawn Weaver of the Happy Wives Club–Go Broncos!

Photo by Shin Yong

Posted in humor | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

When Love Requires More Than You Can Give-The Captain and Tennille Story

Posted on January 30, 2014 by Debi Walter

Captain & Tennille Singlr SleeveShot at My Panorama City Home-Studio

I grew up listening and singing along with the Captain and Tennille. Their music had a way of sticking in my head even when I didn’t want it too–“I will, I will, I will…” See?

On January 16, 2014, after 39 years of marriage, Tennille filed for a divorce from The Captain, and sadly it took him completely by surprise. That’s all we know. He said he has to figure it out by himself first before he can give a statement as to why Tennille left him.

How sad to be in your early 70’s only to discover your partner for life is calling it quits. Why? What could cause this unhappily ever after?

  • It could be The Captain’s chronic illness. He was diagnosed in 2010 with a debilitating health problem which has impaired his ability to play his music.
  • It could be the retirement years could no longer allow them to ignore the unresolved conflicts between them.
  • It could be it wasn’t love that held them together, but music. And when the music died, so did their marriage.

We don’t know the reason, but we can learn from their story…

Love isn’t what holds a marriage together. It’s marriage that holds our love together, because our feelings of love can come and go as the years pass. If the feeling is what we depend on, we will think it hypocritical to stay together if the feelings are gone no matter how many years are behind us. But when we embrace our marriage covenant, we’ll stay committed in good times, in bad times, when the music plays on and when it fades. We’ll be there for our spouse no matter the cost because a covenant is only broken by death.

My heart breaks for The Captain and Tennille. It’s hard enough to bear the break-up of a marriage, but to do it in front of adoring fans must be even more painful. We pray they will find a path to reconciliation, but if they don’t, may we learn from their experience. IMG_3171

We have a Savior who gave His life in complete surrender for the good of another. He will help us love and serve our spouse as we promised on our wedding day. It has nothing to do with our feelings, in fact our feelings will deceive us most times. It depends on our trust in our covenant making and keeping God. He can keep us together, and when our spouse or life circumstances asks more of us than we expected, may we whole-heartedly roll up both sleeves and shout, “I will, I will, I will!”

Information source: www.tvbanter.net

Posted in Aging, Christian Marriage, Conflict, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Romantic Winds Are Blowing Your Way For Valentines Day

Posted on January 28, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: taocurrents.org

Photo Credit: taocurrents.org

**Don’t miss your chance to enter the incredible Valentine Giveaway at the bottom of this post and to check out more ideas from the sponsors of the giveaway.**

I love the opening scene in Mary Poppins where the wind changes direction and you know something special is about to happen. Bert is the first one to see it coming and sings in a whisper…

Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin.

Can’t put me finger on what lies in store, but I fear what’s to happen all happened before.

Well, what if the winds were to change direction in your marriage this Valentines Day? What if something really special took place in your relationship? And what if YOU were the one to plan this something special? If these questions intrigue you, you’ve come to the right place.

We want to provide you with ideas to surprise your spouse in a special way this year by helping you do something you may have never considered. Why? Because romance doesn’t happen independently in marriage; it takes intentionality to make it happen.

What came naturally when you were dating, now takes thought and purpose.  It may have happened before, but it needs to happen once more.

There are so many great ideas, but what makes something romantic for one might not work for you. This is where studying your spouse and knowing what they love makes all the difference.

Check out our Romantic Valentine Ideas for Him or Romantic Valentine Ideas for Her to see if something stands out to you. Or you might want to choose one of our fun date night ideas, dinner date ideas or creative date ideas. Or use our ideas as a springboard for your own unique idea.

Don’t quit reading…there’s an incredible opportunity for you to win some amazing prizes for your Valentine at the end of this post! 🙂 Make this a Valentines Day your spouse won’t soon forget!

**Are you ready for some other Valentine ideas? I hope so! You will want to check out:

Valentinegiveaway

Now time for the Surprise Your Valentine Giveaway! We want to say “Thank You!” to Applebee’s for sponsoring one of our giveaways, with a $50 gift card, perfect for a Valentine dinner or a family dinner. You will want to check out their new kid’s menu, even if you leave the kids home! You can stay up with what’s new in the neighborhood by following them on Facebook and Twitter!

Also included in this Surprise Your Valentine Giveaway is a $200 Amazon Gift Card!

To enter this giveaway, you must be 18 years old and living in the United States. Winner will be notified by email, on February 4th and will have 48 hours to claim their prize before a new winner will be chosen.

Ready to enter?

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Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Contests, Date Night Ideas, Holidays, Romance in Marriage, Romantic Ideas, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , | 36 Comments

Happy Hour – #74

Posted on January 24, 2014 by Debi Walter

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Today we want to share with you some great blog posts to help you plan some romance either for Valentines Day, or just because you know your spouse needs it. 

Becoming His Eve

Happy Wives Club

One Flesh Marriage

  • 10 Day Challenge<<Each year Brad and Kate host this very popular challenge–to have sex every day for 10 days leading up to Valentines Day. Before you turn down the idea, we encourage you to read what they have to say.
  • Great Sexual Pleasure<<Brad speaks to the wives about how important it is for husbands to know they can bring YOU pleasure. Great perspective.

The Generous Husband

  • Remember When<<Romance doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. Take Paul’s advice and add some of this into your marriage.

The Generous Wife

Posted in Blog Love, Happy Hour | 1 Comment

Needed Nuggets Of Wisdom From A Marriage Of 55 Years

Posted on January 21, 2014 by Debi Walter

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My ears perked up when I heard her say, “We just celebrated our 55th anniversary and you know how we got here?”

I was compelled to listen intently. Charlotte loves Jesus. Her husband, Rocko, loves him too. They both serve our church in countless ways, and she encourages my walk with The Lord every Sunday morning–this past Sunday was no exception.

I sat down and said, “So, tell me how did you manage to make it to 55 years together?”

“You know Debi, when we got married Rocko was a different man. I loved him, but he changed and I learned to love who he had become. And he did the same for me.

“There were times when I didn’t think we would last; there were times when I knew we would last; there were times when I hoped we wouldn’t last! But God helped us make the necessary changes during all those seasons, and here we are.” She said with a huge smile that revealed there was more to the story than she had time to share.

I knew in that moment that her words were needed nuggets of wisdom for all marriages to hear.

How often do we go through similar seasons in our own marriage–times where it’s so good you have no doubt that your relationship will stand the test of time? Times where the future seems uncertain and you’re tempted to fear? Times where the conflict or hurt is so deep and so painful you hope it won’t last? The third one is probably the one that is most surprising. But it’s true.

Marriage that is good isn’t always on the mountain-top of marital bliss.

In fact, a good marriage faces some of the fiercest storms and comes out on the other side stronger and more in love than it ever was before. But those who quit in the storm miss this very important secret. Perseverance through the rough times is worth it–it’s a transition–like giving birth to something new.

Finally, I asked Charlotte what she thought was the secret to a lasting marriage. She said without hesitating, “Rock is the most unselfish man I have ever known.”

Such wisdom on display, and so simple. If we want our marriage to grow stronger as the years pass, we must stay the course no matter what our feelings scream at us, and we must love our spouse unselfishly–putting their wants, needs and desires above our own.

And there’s no better time to start than today. What is one thing you can do for your spouse right now that is an unselfish way to love and care for them? 

Photo Source: www.savedhealed.com

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Troubled Marriage | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Hour – #73

Posted on January 17, 2014 by Tom and Debi

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Normally our Happy Hour posts include lots of links to other marriage blogs we believe are worth your time to read and apply in your marriage. But today we are featuring only one post, and it’s not from a marriage blog. It’s that important!

We have been concerned about the pull of social media on our real-time relationships for a while now. And when we read the following article by Cara Joyner in Relevant magazine, we had to share it. We appeal to you to read it completely and then, spend some time this weekend talking to your spouse about what the author shares. We pray the wisdom offered will encourage you and your marriage in ways you may not have known you needed.

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5 Questions To Ask Before Posting To Social Media

I was a freshman in college when Facebook came out and I distinctly remember thinking, “why would I need this? I have AOL Instant Messenger and MySpace!”

Well, times have changed. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram (and a slew of other sites I’m not cool enough to know about) have simultaneously brought us closer together and driven us further apart. With the exception of a few universally offensive statements or pictures, it’s a rule-free zone where we can interact with society while accepting minimal personal responsibility for the implications of what we do.

In absence of guidelines for healthy and polite social media etiquette, we are left to determine our own boundaries for navigating the seemingly endless opportunities available to us.

Before we snap one more picture of our hot chocolate topped with a foam leaf, perhaps we would benefit from a brief pause—an extra 30 seconds to ask five simple questions might suggest it’s time to unplug, or at least reconsider when and how we use social media:

(continue reading) 

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

When You’re Not Living Your Happily Ever After

Posted on January 16, 2014 by Debi Walter

WHAT’S-THE-SECRET-TO-HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER

Face it. Most of us married with rose-colored glasses on. We expected our love would carry us through whatever storms life sent our way.

But.life.is.hard.

Tom and I married when I was only 19 and he was 24. I moved away from the only town I had ever lived in to a place where Tom had only lived a few months. We had no friends, I  didn’t have a job, and I was quite lonely. But we had each other. It wasn’t until we had been married 3 years that reality hit our relationship hard. We discovered things about each other we didn’t know before.

Maybe you’re facing the worst storm you could have ever imagined. Or maybe you could have never imagined it being this bad…Your spouse is chronically ill…Your kids have walked away from The Lord…one of your children is no longer alive…you’re facing unemployment for another year…your spouse has been unfaithful…whatever the situation, there is HOPE.

How can there be hope in the midst of such adversity?

Our hope is found in The Lord who is unchanging. Our marriage changes as time passes, but He never does. Our circumstances change, but He never does. Our emotions will take us on a roller coaster of subjective feelings, but He is unwavering in His commitment to bring us safely home.

I don’t want to be one to sing into your pain when your pain is real. But I do want you to know that you are not without hope. If you belong to Christ then you will never face trouble to the extent that He faced trouble for you. He has been tempted in the same way you are, but He didn’t sin. Why? So that you could safely run to His arms for comfort in such times. He understands our weaknesses, and He sympathizes with our pain because He has felt what we feel.

My encouragement to you if you are not living your happily ever after is to run to your Savior.

Cry out to Him, and trust that He hears and He will respond for your good and His glory. He has promised us our happily ever after, but it won’t come in this lifetime. He knows what you need before you ask, so take comfort in His all-knowing and all-seeing nature. He will not leave you alone, but will tell you the way in which you are to walk–tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Fresh mercies are waiting for you and for me each day that we are given–take advantage of the privilege it is to approach His throne of grace for help in your need. God is good!

I want to end by sharing the following video with you by Natalie Grant titled, When I Leave The Room. It is dedicated to mothers and children everywhere, but I believe it will also encourage couples who are experiencing a dark night of the soul. Place your spouse in the safe arms of Jesus. He will carry you both and comfort you with His love as only He can.

Photo source: http://rhondastoppe.com

Posted in Aging, Christian Marriage, Conflict, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Parenting, Seasons of Life, The Gospel & Marriage, Troubled Marriage | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on When You’re Not Living Your Happily Ever After

How To Make It A Valentine’s Day He Won’t Forget

Posted on January 13, 2014 by Debi Walter

Today’s post was featured on the Engaged Marriage blog…

How to Make it a Valentine's Day He Won't Forget

Valentine’s Day – Do you have plans? Or do you plan NOT to plan?

Sadly, I’ve heard many couples who have chosen to ignore this day because they don’t like the commercialism behind it all – Hallmark, 1800Flowers, Ghiradelli Chocolate, etc.

Honestly? I don’t like that part either. But ignoring this date on the calendar is like ignoring Christmas because you don’t like how others have commercialized or paganized (I made that word up) it.

But there’s a better way!

Tom and I were married 10 days after Valentine’s Day on February 24th. This year marks our 35th wedding anniversary AND we’ve celebrated both days in February from the very beginning.

The deal has always been – I romance him on V.D., and he romances me on our anniversary. It’s been a fun tradition and gives us both something to look forward to in surprising the other.

Some Valentine’s Day guidelines to consider:

  • We never go out to dinner. There is nothing less romantic than sharing a nice cozy restaurant with hundreds of other couples.
  • I go all out to bless Tom in unexpected ways.
  • He is not allowed to come home until the time I set. He must take his change of clothes to work with him and shower and change at the gym or at a friend’s house.
  • I would fix a nice dinner sometimes picking a theme for the evening. Other times fixing his favorites.

For some reason, I’ve heard many wives say they expect their husbands to do all the work on this day. I believe that’s because they’ve bought the commercialized version of the holiday.

What’s wrong with women taking this day to love on their man? It takes the pressure off of him and let’s him enjoy being romanced by me for a change. AND, I get to do something to make the holiday a memorable one.

I don’t enjoy the day any less because I’m the one doing the planning. In fact, I think I’ve enjoyed Valentines Day all the more because of the anticipation of blessing Tom.

Don’t let these excuses hold you back: (continue reading..)

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Romance in Marriage, romancing your husband, Wives | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Which Key Is The Right Key?

Posted on January 10, 2014 by Debi Walter

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On our two posts this week we asked the question–what is the key to a happy marriage.The answers were as varied as the people/marriages answering the question. So which key is the right key?

  • Trust
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Communication
  • Commitment
  • Forgiveness
  • Prayer
  • Christ-Centered
  • Hope
  • Loyalty
  • Golden-Rule
  • Mercy
  • Grace
  • Generosity
  • Perseverance
  • Unconditional Love
  • Sacrifice

The answer is…they’re all the right answer! 🙂

Wherever God has you in your marriage relationship currently requires your ability to hear from Him what your spouse needs most from you today. This will change as often as your relationship grows and changes.

The most important question is to ask if you know what your spouse needs from you today? Is it your trust? When trust has been broken, this becomes the one area that needs your attention most. Like when an arm is broken, your entire body screams to get that bone fixed as soon as possible. It can be painful learning to trust again, but a lasting marriage requires it.

Maybe your spouse needs your loyalty today more than anything else? It could be that the pain wrought by the disloyalty of friends or other family members is too much to bear alone. Hearing your loyalty as you speak of your spouse to others builds your marriage and helps heal their pain.

Maybe you need to communicate on a deeper level? I know that we’ve been facing this issue in our marriage lately. What used to come easy–communication–has become a bit more strained. We don’t know why, but it demands our attention. I’ll say one thing and Tom hears it another way. Or he’ll say something, and I don’t remember it at all! It could be easy to get angry and dig our heels in, but what’s the point in that? It would only cause more division. What our marriage needs most is to talk more, and be patient with each other in the misunderstandings that occur.  This season won’t last forever. In fact, next week we could be focusing on a different key for a lasting marriage.

The important thing is to know what you’re currently facing. To those of you who have taken the time to consider this question–you already know what area to work on. We thank you for sharing with us, and we want to give away one copy of Fawn Weaver’s new book, Happy Wives Club. If your name is selected, please e-mail us (theromanticvineyard[at]gmail[dot]com) your shipping address, and we’ll get it to you as soon as possible.

Our winner is:

BlestWife

Congratulations! 

It just so happens we have two copies of the book. We’ve decided to give another copy away…

Our second winner is:

Sara Catherine

Congratulations to you too!

If you would like to join the Happy Wives Club and order your own book visit Fawn’s website. Have a great weekend!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Happy Is As Happy Does

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Debi Walter
Photo credit: behappyhq.com

Photo credit: behappyhq.com

Are you happy in your marriage? I’m not talking about being free from trouble or having an absence of problems, that hardly ever happens in any relationship. I’m talking about being happy IN your marriage.

Happy is defined as feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

I believe happy is a choice we make. I love Tom with all my heart. Even when we’re in the midst of a conflict, I know he is my husband for life. He has the same commitment to me.  So we go after the trouble with the goal of finding resolve. We’re not content with discontent, if that doesn’t sound too strange. We find no pleasure in being displeased with each other. Instead I treat his trouble as our’s, not his alone. And he does the same for me.

Many marriages today treat their spouse the way they treat them. It’s as if they find pleasure in their displeasure. Television is full of examples like this finding it humorous, even. But it’s not funny; it’s sad.

What if we were to reverse this trend and treat our spouse the way we want them to treat us–and be patient in the process. We can’t choose one day to “try it” to see if they change. No, it has to be a lifelong commitment, a conviction even. When we apply this to our marriage, and submit our requests to God for help and hope, we will see changes. And it will bring great happiness to both of us.

I am a member of the Happy Wives Club. Fawn Weaver started it in 2010 to prove to the world that there are lots of happy wives–and her goal was to find one million of us to prove her point. Her new book titled, Happy Wives Club, chronicles her journey around the world to interview marriages that have lasted more that 25 years from various cultures and countries. I’ve read it, and it’s excellent! It felt as if I had traveled the world with her.

We’re giving away one copy in a random drawing on Friday. If you’d like to be included in the drawing, comment on this post sharing what one word you believe is essential for a successful, happy marriage. If you also share this post on FB (or any other social media) and let us know, you’ll double your chances of winning too. Good luck!

If you’d like to join the HWC, click here. 🙂

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments