Foodie Friday – Lake Como and Cannoli’s

View from our room

Our hotel in Lake Como was situated right on the square overlooking the southern tip of this gorgeous lake.

The weather was cool and windy making a lake tour uninviting. One couple traveling with us decided to take the tour anyway. But they didn’t realize they had purchased a one-way ticket on the fast boat to Bellagio.

When they arrived they discovered there were no return trip tickets available on the fast boat (about a 45 minute trip). The long boat would take 2.5 hours stopping at every town along the way. We checked to see how long it would take to return by bus, but that wasn’t a much better option.

Bus road map from Bellagio to Como

They decided to take the long boat, but there were no seats inside. They had to sit on the top deck, exposed to the wind and splashing waves; a miserable experience. However, the photos from Bellagio were gorgeous. All in all they were glad they went.

Funiculare est. 1894

We spent our first day in Como taking the Funiculare up to the ancient town of Brunate. This is an old cable car that climbs 1600’ above Lake Como and provides breathtaking views. We did a little shopping and had a fantastic lunch with unbelievable views. We kept saying that we couldn’t believe we were here!

View from our table

The next day Tom and I ventured off on our own. That’s the fun of traveling with friends who have known each other for 40+ years, you can be together when you want and go off alone when needed. It was time for us to have time to explore alone.

We walked along the shore of Lake Como and happened upon a beautiful monument in honor of Alessandro Volta, a professor in science who invented the electric battery.

The lake shore was beautiful as were the tree lined streets.

We happened upon a concert in the square outside our hotel. It was nice to relax and take life in Como.

When we travel we enjoy visiting the local grocer to see what kind of food they offer. This was a little market hidden in the back and hard to see. When we entered we were surprised at how big it was.

A few offerings for sale

But I’ve saved the best for last. On our last day in Como, Tom commented that we had yet to have a cannoli. I did a search on Yelp and found a Sicilian Bakery a short walk away. We are so glad we did. Neither of us realized that cannolis originated in Sicily, which is where Tom’s mother’s family is from. This bakery felt like home!

He’s making my Cafe Latte
So many options
But here’s the real prize—delicioso!

What a great day date we shared together on the beautiful shores of Lake Como.

Next stop is Lucerne, Switzerland.

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Focus on What Matters

We all need time to pause and focus our attention on what matters. This week is providing us time to do just that.

Last week we had an amazing time with our son, daughter-in-love and our four grandchildren in Tennessee. It’s sad to realize we hadn’t been together since Thanksgiving, but it makes the time we do have together precious.

The first four days our son took his bride away to celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary. We were officially on Papa and Nana Duty. Actually it was more delight than duty.

As retirees, we have discovered this is one of the best parts of this season of life—being available to help your grown kids as needed.

We did all the things: went swimming, cooked good food, baked cookies, hunted rolly pollys, played XBox Golf, went Good Will hunting and took our oldest granddaughter birthday shopping. She will turn 17 tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Bristol

But the most time consuming of all was completing this 750 piece jigsaw puzzle:

Thomas Kincaid puzzle

When their parents returned we made them a special anniversary dinner of Beef Short Ribs with buttery mashed potatoes and southern green beans. It was fun to make a big deal of their marriage in front of their kids.

One day we visited our son at his work. He loves his job so much, it isn’t work to him. He lives the quote:

Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life!

We toured the new event center and couldn’t believe how beautiful it is.

View from the lobby
Matthew 5:14-16
Spacious Event Center
Winston Churchill greets attendees
And encourages them as they leave

But our favorite of the day was getting to meet two of the personalities with Ramsey Solutions who happened to be hosting the radio show that day, John Delony and Jade Warsaw. Jason took us in to the recording studio during a break in the show to have our books signed.

The Dave Ramsey Show studio

We ended our week doing one of our favorites together—visiting an historic home that was the center of the Battle of Franklin during the Civil War. On November 30, 1864, the Carter House became infamously known for the bloody battle that ensued late in the afternoon.

The Carter House

Our guide was a retired history teacher and shared the events of this day as if he had been an eyewitness. There was a moment when the tour ended that he led us to a small white building. He had us stand in front of the closed door. Then he opened it and stepped aside. What we saw left us speechless.

Tiny lights are bullet holes.

We spent a bit more time reading the marquees all over the property which described the events at each spot.

It was quite the tour and one we highly recommend if you ever go to Franklin, TN.

It’s always hard to say goodbye to our family who live far away. But seeing them thrive in such an area rich with history, blesses us to no end.

We realize how precious life is and thank God for the gift we have together

Until next time…

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Foodie Fridays – Lake Como

We had been in Italy 5 full days and at this point we had yet to have pizza. Our final day in Tuscany we tried an Italian Pizzeria. As we were seated our server stated loudly and firmly, “Noh peeza too-day!”

What? No pizza served in a pizza restaurant? I was disappointed, but not without hope. We were heading North to Lake Como, Italy, where they would surely find great pizza.

After a long train ride with a stop in Milan, we checked into our hotel. I did what I always do—checked Yelp to find a good pizza place. We were thrilled to see it was right behind our hotel. Da Michele Pizzeria was established in 1870, so we figured they knew a thing or two about good pizza!

We arrived before they opened, and a line of locals was already formed. This was a good sign! Below is the kitchen already busy making pizza!

It’s not easy getting a table for 8 in most Italian restaurants. This time we were pleasantly surprised.

The pizza was very large, thin, hot and delicious. It was so thin you had to fold it in half to pick it up for a bite. Now I know the reason this is a favorite way to eat pizza. It is a necessity here. While I didn’t love how thin the crust was, the taste was worth the effort to eat it.

When we were filled and satisfied our server treated us to one of Tom’s favorites—limoncello. It’s the perfect after dinner drink following a hearty meal.

“Saluti”

We are on Nana and Papa duty until next week, so I’ll pause on posting. I want to give my Tennessee grandkids all my attention.

Until next time…

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Those Left Behind

As I ponder the fallen military heroes who have given the greatest sacrifice for our freedom. I can’t help but think of the spouses who continue to live with their loss of their love every single day.

To these widows and widowers:

While our country celebrates your spouse’s heroism…

…you remember their love.

While we grieve our country’s loss…

…you grieve on a personal level most can’t fathom.

Though we don’t know you by name…

…we know there is a God who does.

He sees you. He loves you. He weeps with you.

Today while most say “Happy Memorial Day” on their way to their family picnic…

…We say, “Happy Memories of the life you once enjoyed together, and may they help carry your heavy heart.”

We are grateful for such a willing sacrifice.

Note: If you want to remember your spouse publicly, please leave a comment telling us about him or her. We would be honored to celebrate their life and pray for you. And your family.

This Memorial Day we remember those left behind.

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Foodie Fridays – Pasta Carbonara, nailed it!

There are moments when you are grateful for your spouse’s willingness to sacrifice. I had this happen at our last meal in Tuscany.

I had been wanting pizza. But for some reason we hadn’t had the chance to enjoy it yet. Being our last day in Tuscany I found a restaurant called Pizzeria Ristorante. Everyone in our group was happy to give this place a try.

The first plus was they had their own parking lot. It didn’t take long to discover that parking is the most sought after real estate in Tuscany. I even took photos from this parking lot with a view!

I was anticipating this meal most until we were seated. The friendly server announced, “No pizza!”

Wait, what? This is a restaurant known for its pizza and you say, “No, pizza?!”

It was sadly true.

I perused the menu for another option. Risotto! I love risotto, and they offered a fish risotto. I asked the server, “What kind of fish is with the risotto?”

She replied, “Fish!”

I took the chance and ordered. Tom ordered a more certain dish—pasta carbonara.

When my food arrived it wasn’t “fish”; it was mussels and clams and octopus mixed in with risotto. I was more than disappointed. I can’t stand the texture of these types of seafood. I knew it wouldn’t be easy explaining my inability to eat this food to our broken-English server—I wanted to cry.

Fish Risotto

Then Tom offered to switch with me—his Pasta Carbonara for my “Fish” risotto. He is the best! And he had just said how much he loved this pasta! He wanted me to enjoy this meal since I still wasn’t getting the pizza I desired.

Pasta Carbonara

He is amazing like that; Wanting to make me happy even if he has to sacrifice what he enjoys.

Of course I had to try making this dish once we got home. It was my way of thanking him for the way he cares for me.

I am pleased to say he loved my version and so did I!

In America most restaurants make the carbonara sauce using cream and cheese. But in Italy there is no cream. The creaminess is created using egg yolks and stirring them in the pasta with the handle of a wooden spoon until it emulsifies into this creamy sauce.

Add pancetta and grated Pecorino Romano cheese for the finishing touches. This will now be a new staple in our home—the best souvenir.

If you would like to try this too, I used this recipe from the Recipe Tin Eats blog. It was so easy and made my husband happy from the inside out!

Buon Appetito!

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Trading Florence for A Day of Rest

We were disappointed that our idea of sitting in a vineyard in Italy never materialized. So we came up with our own plan.

The VRBO we rented is called Agriturismo L’Elfo. It is just outside of Siena, but far enough to be surrounded by the beautiful countryside. We highly recommend this place if you are planning a trip there some day.

Originally the itinerary was to tour Florence with all its rich history and beauty. But after two days exploring Siena and Montepulciano, we were ready for a day to relax in our well-appointed villa.

Our host (in the doorway) is the 5th generation of farmers on this 70 acre plot of land. He and his soon-to-be wife (front left) have worked four years to restore the old barn to the gorgeous villa it is today.

When we arrived they gifted us a basket of fresh laid eggs, home-made honey and a bottle of wine from a family member’s vineyard. It’s interesting to note: eggs are not refrigerated in Italy—even in the grocery stores. Also, the wine is super cheap in Italy. We enjoyed it all the more!

Cheers!

Our villa had four bedrooms all with en suite bathrooms. Which if you’ve traveled much in Italy this is hard to come by.

They had every kind of fruit bearing tree, but being early spring it was impossible to tell, for as yet there was no fruit.

We learned from one of our friends that on iPhones you can take a photo of a tree or plant and click the “i” for more info. It will tell you the name of the plant. I was hooked and started taking photos of everything.

White Mulberry

We also enjoyed the different types of birds. For this we used the Merlin Bird ID app to record their song, and it would pull up what bird or birds we were hearing.

There was one bird in particular none of us had ever seen or heard before, the Eurasian Hoopoe. I spent about an hour following it all over the farm hoping to get a good photo.

Finally, he stopped for a pose—I think he looks quite prehistoric.

We relaxed all day listening to the birds, enjoying charcuterie and wine overlooking the beautiful rolling hills of Siena.

Our room had a surprise out our window; a wishing well. We felt as if we were in a fairy tale. Everything we had imagined Tuscany to be was that and more.

The property also boasted herb gardens, grape vines, olive trees, Italian cypress trees, a fishing pond with geese, chickens and honey bees.

We watched as the fields in the distance were plowed for their new crop of grain to be planted. All under the watchful eye of the antique farming equipment no longer used, but valued just the same.

We listened to the owner help his son learn to fish in the pond. Although he spoke in Italian, the tone of this father’s love would have been familiar to us in any language.

There is a rhythm to life on the farm. The first light of day beckons one outside to do what needs to be done as the sun makes its trek across the sky. Mundane chores aren’t cumbersome, but necessary; this is what keeps the beat alive. Time is precious and the fruit of this family’s labor is abundant. We enjoyed every bite.

As the sun set on this perfect day, we joined in its dance of gratefulness. Here, hard work brings with it its own reward. And we were the recipients of time well spent.

The kiss of the sun for pardon,

The song of the birds for mirth,—

One is nearer God’s heart in a garden,

Than any where else on Earth.

From The Garden, by Dorothy Frances Gurney

Until next time—when we head to Lake Como,

Ciao

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Montepulciano

Our second full day in Tuscany took us to this ancient village. Some have dated it back to the 2 century BC. In America we can’t fathom this kind of history.

Montepulciano is known for its wine. In fact they have some of the oldest vineyards in all of Italy. Walking through the narrow cobblestoned streets we were offered wine tastings from many different vineyards.

Vineyards aren’t opened to the public as they are here in the states. I had dreamed of visiting a Tuscan vineyard overlooking rolling hills of ancient vines. But we soon learned that you must stay at the vineyard in order to experience it up close. All others must visit the many tasting rooms in villages such as Montepulciano.

The wine rooms are quaint and run by enthusiastic hosts. Tastings are free, plentiful and come with lots of cheeses, meats and breads to pair with each sip.

Our first tasting was in a small, narrow room lined with bricks, barrels and bottles of wine. It was quaint, but not what we were hoping for. Our host was gracious even when we left without purchasing any of her wine.

The next street we were welcomed by a sweet woman, Sarah was her name. She enticed us with a free tour of the underground tunnels. How could we resist?

We traveled with 6 friends on this trip, and Bonnie (and Bob) pictured here has a blog:
Life on the Lighter Side. She will make you laugh and enjoy another side of our trip.

Down the steep, brick steps we learned of the many uses these hidden tunnels had in centuries past: Refuge from invaders, stables for livestock including horses, a place to make wheels of cheese, a hospital, and a torture chamber. Sarah even had a display of devices used to torture their prisoners—horrific!

But my favorite was the story of the families who shared this underground real estate. When all was well between the families, this iron gate was open and the families shared the space as needed. The underground well located behind the brick wall was shared by both families. (Notice the small windows on both sides of the wall? The well is inside this space).

When the families were feuding, this gate was closed and locked.

We could imagine a “Romeo and Juliet” story of a young couple meeting at the well to talk secretly and hold hands through these windows to the well. Sarah invited us to give it a try.

I am grateful this isn’t part of our dating story.

She took us further into the tunnels to show us its current use—wine aging. There were huge barrels down to small barrels. All were aged according to the quality of the wine desired.

The smaller the barrel the more flavor is drawn from it to the wine.

These glass ornaments on top have a practical purpose. Air contaminates the wine. This device is used to fill the barrel until the wine is seen in the glass. This lets them know all the air is removed from the barrel. We were told Leonardo de Vinci invented these—amazing. The barrel above is actually on display because it is special; The first one used by this vintner thus the No. 1.

At the end of this tour we were led to the tasting room where we tried so many varieties of wine. Sarah was engaging and knowledgeable. She welcomed our questions.

We loved the food pairing at this tasting most. Each cheese, meat or bread with various spreads, were selected to go with specific wines in order to enhance the wines’ flavor. It really made a difference.

When it was over we were led through the gift shop. Our favorite wine was from 2019 made from 100% Sangiovese grapes. The first time this had ever happened solely from their estate grown grapes. We bought a case to have shipped home to enjoy in the years to come. She recommended letting it age for 5-10 years. We’ll see about that!

Although we missed sipping wine al fresco at a vineyard, Sarah took us there with her expertise and hospitality.

Next time I’ll share how we recreated the vineyard experience we were missing. It was one of my favorite days!

Until then,

Ciao

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Foodie Fridays – The Rest of the Meal

I shared about our first night in Tuscany and the two chefs whom we hired to prepare us an authentic Italian meal. But I stopped at the appetizer—Tuscan Crackers.

While we were enjoying the wine and crackers these ladies were creating a masterpiece in the kitchen.

Our first course was the veggie bowls and charcuterie boards.

Cherry tomatoes, celery, carrots and fennel

The garden fresh quality of the veggies was impeccable. But the main course was about to take our expectations to a new level—spinach ravioli. Just.wow!

One of our friends swore that they hated ravioli—until…

The homemade pasta was spot on! And the filling made it even more memorable.

But we weren’t finished.

Our chefs made us biscotti to dip into their equivalent of dessert wine. It was so good…but…

There was more.

The homemade tiramisu was unmatched! I don’t normally order tiramisu, but I’m so glad we had this! It was creamy, filled with coffee flavors and delicious.

I remember when we were first reserving this meal it seemed expensive. But the night of the meal it was worth every penny.

Sometimes it’s worth it to go above and beyond your set plans. We will remember this meal for the rest of our lives, and I think that’s worth it.

Until next time…

Bon appetito!

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Foodie Fridays – Tuscan Crackers

I am a native of Florida, also known as a Florida Cracker. But this post is from another country—Italy, and another state—Tuscany.

Our first night in Tuscany we were treated to a dinner prepared at our villa by two, talented Italian chefs. They were friendly and so happy to share their culture through food with us.

We waited in the living room while they did their magic in the kitchen.

To whet our appetite we were treated to homemade crackers, courtesy of her husband who owns a local bakery. I have never thought of crackers as the main attraction, but on this night, after a long day of traveling, these crackers were outstanding.

It was the introduction to one of the best meals we’ve shared together as friends.

When we got home I wanted to find a Tuscan Cracker recipe to remember this night. Gratefully I found one that was worth trying.

These were fairly easy to make. They made a huge mess in the kitchen, but the results were worth it!

This is a photo of the inspiration for this post. Don’t they look yummy?

Assorted Tuscan Crackers

Here are the steps it took…

Flour, olive oil, water and salt
Fresh chopped rosemary from my garden
Let kneaded dough rest for 20 minutes
Roll into log and cut in 8 sections
Roll thin and bake for 10 minutes, sprinkling with Parmesan cheese and salt
Nailed it

These will keep fresh for three days in a ziploc bag.

We enjoyed these crackers alone and with salad. A perfect bite of Tuscany.

We love to bring home favorite recipes that remind us of a special meal shared on vacation together.

This is sure to be a new favorite.

I have many more recipes to try duplicating from our amazing time in Italy and Switzerland. I hope you will stay tuned.

Until next time…

Ciao

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Why Not Now?

I’ve been thinking how challenging communicating about hard things can be in marriage.

– Maybe you don’t agree on your budget limitations.

– Maybe you are hurt over something your spouse said, but you’re afraid to tell them.

– Maybe you’re worried about what your spouse may or may not do, or you’re angry about something they did.

– Maybe you feel unseen or unheard, invisible when it comes to your perspective.

All of these are difficult topics in a strong marriage. So if any of these hit home in your heart…

Let this post be a nudge.

The enemy is seeking to destroy marriages and one of the ways he works is to keep us from talking. We must lean in towards our spouse rather than pull away from them; even when we don’t want to.

Some difficulties can’t be avoided, and ignoring them only feeds the enemy and encourages him to keep stirring it up.

If your heart is racing right now at the thought of talking to your spouse, pray this way…

Father,

Thank you for being the creator of marriage and the family. It was your idea to make two different people come together as one in marriage. You heard our vows knowing what adversity we would face in the years to come. And here I am afraid to be open and honest with my spouse. I ask for courage to speak truthfully. I ask for assurance that You are with me. And I pray for my spouse that he or she would have ears to hear what I’m saying and not react.

Help me do what seems impossible and no longer hide in the shadows of unresolved conflict. I know You will give me peace and strength to lean in for the good of our relationship. Thank you for being an ever present help when I need it most.

In Jesus name, Amen

Now let me ask you again, “Why not now?

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Dreams Come True

Since I was a young girl I’ve always wanted to visit Switzerland. Imagine my delight to experience this dream with my husband for our 45th anniversary?

We like to ask each other after a trip what are the things you’ll remember most about this time? These photos are the snapshots from Lucerne, Switzerland we will long remember even after the pictures are gone.

Chapel Bridge
An evening stroll
Look how clear the water is
Huge artichokes.—
wish we could have stuffed these!
Fondue DuPont – yum
View from our table

We are grateful we were able to do this. There were disappointments we experienced, like not being able to see the Alps on our day trip to Interlaken and Grindelwald, but the flowers, birds and coffee more than made up for it. There is beauty to see in every season; We experienced Winter and Spring in one day!

The clouds tried to lift.
Gorgeous flower beds
The Grand Hotel, Interlacken
Look at this coot’s feet! He wasn’t afraid of me and seemed to pose for the best shot.
Irish Coffee for a snowy day
This turquoise glacier river is filled with minerals

Have you ever had a trip not go as planned? When this happens it helps to look for the good and make an unexpected memories.

I would close by saying goodbye in Swiss, but did you know they don’t have a national language? French, German, Italian and Romansh are all their national languages, so take your pick: au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, arrivederci or a revair.

Until next time…

#friendsforalifetime2024

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Foodie Fridays – Siena, Italy

La Taverna di Giuseppe

“One of the many ways to know a territory is by “tasting it”. (From their website)

Our first day exploring Tuscany took us to Siena. We planned to tour the city seeing its museums, famous plaza and duomo. But we also hoped to find an historic place to have lunch.

We were not disappointed.

Walking the narrow cobble stone street we couldn’t miss the Michelin Star signs with a ceramic pig by the door.

We decided to give it a try. Sadly, reservations were required and we didn’t have one. As we walked out the hostess waved us back in saying if we would split into two tables of four, we could eat.

We were ecstatic!

The interior is historic and everywhere I looked was a photo op. I kept saying, “This isn’t EPCOT! It is real!” (Sad, I know, but anyone who has experienced Disney must deal with this comparison.)

The menu was in Italian, so our Google Translate app became our personal guide.

Prices were what you’d expect for a Michelin Star restaurant. Our server recommended a sample plate of three dishes to get us started.

The top was a savory cheese soufflé, next pastry with white truffle shavings, and last was eggplant with mushrooms

Next we each ordered our main dish. Tom ordered this beef dish braised in red wine with another type of cheese soufflé. He loved it!

I ordered gnocchi, something I’ve always wanted but have never tried. The server shaved fresh white truffles on top! Ahhh! it was delicious!

Our friends ordered the lasagna, which is nothing like our America version. It was layers of pasta, meat and cheese but no sauce (or gravy as they call it). They said it was the best they’ve ever had!

This restaurant is built in an Etruscan home dating back to 2-3 BC. The original home was underground and is now their wine cellar. Unbelievable how old Siena is. Our country is a baby compared to the history found in Italy.

Wine cellar

I’ll end with a few more photos. I actually saw the chef at work and he allowed me to take his picture.

Buon Appetito
Even their soap has history
Our hostess making room for us
Work station for servers
Tower at the Plaza del Campo

The Plaza Del Campo is the main plaza for Sienese life. When we entered the square there were people shopping, enjoying caffe, gelato, listening to tour guides, sitting in the sun and throwing coins in the fountain. Tuscan life is to embrace the present.

Fonte Gaia

This was a perfect day and one of our favorites.

Next week I’ll share our first meal in Tuscany. It was also memorable on many levels.

Until then, Ciao

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Foodie Fridays – Italy Here We Come

Affogato

I know I have been absent for a few weeks and I’ve missed you all. But there were many logs in the fire needing constant attention.

Thankfully, we’ve found reprieve and our 45th anniversary trip to Italy and Switzerland is happening.

I feel like the astronauts must feel when they hear, “all engines are a go,” and the countdown begins.

We will spend the first 5 nights in Tuscany and to say we’re excited is a huge understatement.

Last night Tom took me to one of our favorite Italian restaurants for pizza and Caesar salad. We couldn’t think of a better way to whet our appetite for our trip.

When we finished our server asked if we were interested in dessert.

What do you have?” we asked, which is the worst way to resist temptation.

We decided to share an Affogato—a delicious treat of vanilla gelato, chocolate sauce with hot espresso poured on top. Every bite was fantastic. Now we can’t wait to try this in Tuscany.

I probably won’t post until we return. But check our IG account if you’d like to see Italy and Switzerland through our lens.

Until then, Bon Giorno!

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Good Friday

Normally this is my Foodie Friday post where we share good food we’ve enjoyed whether at home or out on the town.

But this Friday is special. It is the day when Jesus paused to break bread with his disciples before He would give His life as a ransom for us all.

It is called The Lord’s Supper. Today we realize the bread represents His body broken for us. The wine represents His blood spilled for us. It was a holy moment then and it is a holy moment now.

Have you and your spouse ever taken communion together in the privacy of your home? Tom and I have and it was more meaningful than we could have imagined. The Holy Spirit was present—He lives in both of us—He made our time holy.

The Lord is Risen and this side of the Cross our communion is informed with the good news of the Gospel. Celebrate this year as husband and wife and watch what God will do.

Sunday’s coming…

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Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage

This week is what Christians call Holy Week. It is the beginning of following Jesus’s final journey on Earth to the cross. It is the most important week of the year.

If Jesus didn’t die and 3 days later rise to His triumph over sin and death, then there is no hope. But the good news of the Gospel is—He Lives! And because He lives our marriage has hope to grow and mature as the years pass.

The Gospel is never more on display than when two sinners say, “I do.”

Our first three years of marriage were a continual honeymoon. Then reality knocked on our door. We discovered the sin that easily entangles had a grip on both of us.

We had a decision to make. Would we stay together through the worse times, or would unforgiveness and bitterness win?

Obviously we made the decision to fight for our marriage.

What made this possible was posturing our hearts in humility and mercy.

Humility realizes the sin your spouse struggles with is no worse than the sin you struggle with. We are both equally sinners.

Mercy is willing to extend forgiveness when your spouse asks for it. The game changer for us was when we realized sin wasn’t a “his or her” problem, it was an “us” problem. We had to fight for each other’s freedom from besetting sins.

This only works when both the husband and wife are postured to repent and receive mercy, or to listen and extend mercy.

How to begin this process.

1. Start with a clean slate. Make sure there are no hidden sins your spouse isn’t aware of. If there are, it’s time to come clean. Warning: This is the hardest part. But God gives grace to the humble. We encourage you to seek counsel from a pastor or counselor to get through full repentance.

2. Once you’ve confessed your sin, allow your spouse time to grieve. It is hard for them to hear, especially if they are taken completely off guard by your confession. Any reaction to your confession whether sadness or anger is warranted. Reacting sinfully to the way your spouse deals with your confession only deepens the gap between you.

3. Talk about how you’re both doing. Then listen to understand not to respond. The former is humble. The latter is proud. Be willing to talk as long as it takes. Let your spouse ask questions and always be gut-level honest with them. There is no place for defensiveness in a repentant heart.

4. Finally, and most importantly, pray together out loud. One of the biggest breakthroughs in Tom’s life came after he heard me pray for him. He heard my heart laid bare before the Father appealing for his freedom. It changed him.

Marriage is the best relationship in this life worth fighting for.

But it requires both spouses fighting on the same team against a common enemy—Satan. He wants nothing more than to silence your testimony.

If you are in a difficult season of marriage there is hope. Posture your heart humbly before the Lord and your spouse and watch what God does.

What better way to begin Holy Week than to seek to be holy as He is holy.

Posted in Besetting Sins, Christian Marriage, communication, Difficulty, Easter, Forgiveness, Growing Strong Marriages, Intimacy, Keeping It Real, Repentance, Spiritual, Spiritual Intimacy | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Foodie Fridays – Happy Pi Day

I have a history of baking pies since Tom and I were first married.

We lived in a rented retirement condo in Bradenton, FL, 3 miles from the Gulf of Mexico. I loved our one bedroom apartment with the canary yellow carpet. The downside was Tom worked so many hours in a week, so I was lonely most days.

The property manager and his wife were the only people I knew. She was an experienced baker and offered to teach me the basics—pie crust and bread dough. I jumped at the opportunity to learn and to have something to do.

Now 45 years later, I am still baking for the love of my life.

What began as a diversion from loneliness has now become a staple of memories shared by our kids and grandkids. In fact, birthday pies are requested over the traditional birthday cake.

Today I’m not able to bake a pie due to a busy schedule. So I’ll do the next best thing—share photos of pies I’ve made.

Happy Pi Day

Apple pie
Strawberry Cream Cheese pie
Triple Cherry Pie
Peach and Blueberry Galette
Fresh Blueberry Pie
Happy Pi Day to you and yours!
Posted in Christian Marriage, Foodie Fridays, Making Scents | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Pruning Your Marriage

Our azaleas

We recently did a hard pruning in our yard. All plants were cut back, except for our azaleas that are showing off this year. They will be pruned later.

The first cut is always the hardest.

Once you start you’re committed to finish, no matter how tired I may be.

Our gardenia bush pruned with new growth

In marriage pruning is necessary too.

Each year we should stand back and look over our relationship. Where are we struggling to connect? Is it emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

Try sharing this post with your spouse and see if they have some thoughts on it. We don’t know unless we ask. And they may not realize there’s a problem until you ask.

Problems are like overgrowth. We all have it. It’s what we do with it that separates strong relationships from weak ones.

In a strong relationship the problem is considered together like looking at your garden. What things are choking the marriage? I’ve noticed that when my mood suddenly changes it’s good to pause and ask myself what caused it? Oftentimes Tom said something that either hurt my feelings or my pride.

Both need to be addressed but differently—feelings must be discussed to reach a place of understanding. This is where growth happens in marriage. Pride on the other hand needs to be killed; it’s like a weed that will ruin your relationship.

Pride is a choking vine. Kill it or it will kill intimacy and maybe even your marriage.

Spring is the time for fresh beginnings. We pray this is true for your marriage.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Emotional, Growing Strong Marriages, Intimacy, Physical, Spiritual | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

When Hard Times Come

We’ve all had them. Circumstances don’t go the way we planned. Or worse something happens that sends your emotions reeling. It’s hard to believe the unthinkable happened and you have to deal with the aftermath of a difficult situation.

This was our week last week all while we were away together celebrating our anniversary.

We had to reign in our thoughts about things happening at home about which we couldn’t fix. We had to do this in order not to let the bad rob the good.

FOCUS ON THE GOOD

We were still together. We were still in the beautiful mountains of Tennessee. We were able to have relaxing fire pit nights on chilly evenings. And we enjoyed lots of good food, coffee and conversation.

It was a great time and we made memories.

When we got home I got a call from a cousin in Oklahoma telling me her sister had died that morning. This sister had just visited our home the week before we left for lunch; It was hard to believe and all I could do was cry.

This made me remember how brief life is and we have no guarantees of tomorrow.

Here are three important reminders to help your relationship when life turns for the worst:

1. Tell your spouse you love them everyday.

2. Never leave the house mad without attempting to resolve the argument. If that was the last time you would see your spouse the regret would be tormenting.

3. Don’t allow disappointment and hardship to rob the plans you and your spouse have made.

Life is a balance between hardship and blessing.The former we can’t control, the latter we can purpose to be grateful

These photos are highlights of our trip. Even though we were in difficult times, we made many wonderful memories.

View from the cabin
Even fog is beautiful
Our favorite coffee shop
Spent an afternoon here with friends
Quite rested, even with the photo bomber 😂
Picnic charcuterie friends made for us ❤️
Chopping wood

We’re learning that waiting for life to get back to normal is futile. This is life—the good and bad. We must embrace it all and trust that God is with us every step. He will always be faithful.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Keeping It Real, Vacations | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

How To Avoid A Pharisee’s Attitude in Marriage

The Pharisees were the religious elite of their day. They spanned the motives of their heart with a pat on the back. All the perfection boxes were checked, yet one thing was lacking—humility.

Humility is lowliness of mind; a deep sense of one’s own unworthiness in the sight of God, self-abasement, penitence for sin, and submission to the divine will.

Webster’s 1828 dictionary

What does humility look like in marriage?

  • A realization that your sin is the only thing you can do anything about, which leads to repentance.
  • Pointing the finger of blame is not found in a humble heart. When you are pointing a finger of accusation there are three fingers pointing back at you.
  • A willingness to serve by laying down your life for the good of another, namely your spouse.

One word of caution though. A proud spouse craves their spouse to do all of the above.

If when reading this you are thinking that your spouse needs to read this—humility quite possibly may be lacking.

The only One qualified to judge the motives of the human heart, is the very One who died to free us from the snares of pride—Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Jesus warns us that the measure we use to judge someone will be used to judge us. This should cause us all to tremble and not trust our own heart.

If your marriage is struggling we encourage you to ask God what you’re missing in regard to change.

You have no control to change your spouse, but you do have control over your own thoughts, motives and attitudes.

Are you willing to lay your life down for the good of another? Your spouse? If you struggle to answer yes, the Pharisee may be influencing you more than you know.

Only the Holy Spirit can expose the motives of my heart with truth and conviction.

Ask Him to show you any trace of the Pharisee’s self righteous judgments in your own heart. This is where life-changing repentance begins and the foundation on which healthy marriages are built.

Recommended reading: Humility, by Andrew Murray

Posted in Besetting Sins, Biblical Encouragement, Christian Marriage, Repentance, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Foodie Fridays – The Capital Grille

We love celebrating our anniversary. We make much of what God has done in our lives individually and in our relationship. There are so many stories of disappointments, sicknesses, accidents, celebrations, victories and awards. All of them tell the story of us.

Last Saturday was our actual anniversary and Tom made reservations at The Capital Grille. To say I was excited is an understatement. I love it when Tom plans something special; when he does, he goes all out.

The setting was beautiful.

The food was cooked to perfection.

Lobster Bisque
French Onion Soup
Caesar Salad
Gorgonzola Strip Steak with Cabernet Reduction Sauce
A sweet complimentary ending
to a great night

The staff was friendly. We even had the manager stop by to wish us a Happy Anniversary. When he heard how long we’ve been married, he shared how he has only been married two years. He then proceeded to ask us this question:

“What is the secret to a lasting marriage?”

Without hesitation we gave the answer.

“Jesus! He is the one who has helped us through our worst days and made us better as a result.”

The manager said he asks this question often. When he goes home, he shares the answers with his wife to help their marriage endure.

What a healthy practice this young husband is doing. It made us smile.

What practices do you and your spouse have to help your marriage grow? One thing is sure, it takes being intentional towards each other to keep from drifting apart.

Posted in Christian Marriage | Comments Off on Foodie Fridays – The Capital Grille