A Fragrant Aroma – Greeting Hurricane Irene

Posted on August 26, 2011 by Tom and Debi

27th Avenue - a perfect day at the beach!

Last night we hopped in our car and headed to New Smyrna Beach to pay a quick visit to see Irene.  We were surprised to see how quick she blew in.  Friends who make a habit of barging in unannounced are considered rude, but not Irene.  She has made sure everyone knows she’s packed and on her way.  Just turn on the TV and you’ll see everyone is talking about her.  They just aren’t sure when she’ll arrive, where she’ll end up or what she’ll look like when she gets there.  From what we witnessed tonight, she isn’t too happy.  A thick blanket of clouds swirled about her as she forged forward across the open sea.

Seriously, Irene is the first hurricane of the season, and thankfully this is as close as she’ll get to us.  But we never tire of watching such storms.  The Bible says the Heavens declare the glory of God.  Storms like these declare His power and His strength.  If you ever doubt God, look to the Heavens – you’ll discover things about Him you may have forgotten and need to remember in your life, in your marriage.

When was the last time you watched a storm roll in?

The same part of the beach shown at the top with our granddaughter.

Had to share a hair photo! 🙂

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 16

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Debi Walter

The wise of heart is called discerning,
and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 16:21,24

Last week we began talking about anger and it’s effect on a marriage – on a family – and the effect the Gospel can have as we repent and seek to change.

This week the verses which stood out to us in Proverbs 16 are written above.  Those who are wise are able to discern accurately how they should live.  They have sweetness of speech, which means they are able to easily persuade others to make wise choices as well.

A few years ago Tom asked me to return some items for him at the local Radio Shack.  He said the receipt was in the bag.  When I got there the manager said the items were too old, and she could not accept the return.  She was quite rude about the whole ordeal and acted as if I had asked her to pay my mortgage, for goodness sakes!  I knew Tom wouldn’t be happy because it was a fairly expensive total.  I pleaded, asking if there was anyway she could make an exception; she gave me one of “those looks.”

Defeated, I called Tom to tell him the news.  He asked me to let him speak to the manager.  I handed her the phone and watched the most unbelievable thing happen.

Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How To Encourage When Facing Discouraging Times

Posted on August 24, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: Words for the Heart

This is a hard one for many couples.  Especially if the discouraging times are affecting you both.  But.  We mustn’t forget the third person in our marriage – the Lord.  He is capable of lifting our spirits out of the mire and setting our feet and hope on solid ground.

Encouragement for us in our marriage often is without words:

Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Romantic Orlando – Park Avenue, Winter Park

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: ferrellrealtyinc.com

It holds a place in my heart like no other location in Orlando.

Park Avenue in downtown Winter Park

My earliest memory of this street was when I was six years old.  My Mom took me there to go through the antique stores (sadly, these are mostly gone now), have lunch at the Yum Yum Shop (now the Briarpatch) and shop in the Toy Store – long since gone, as well.

Fast forward to 1978 when Tom and I were dating.  We walked the Avenue and talked about “US” for the first time.  He asked how many children I hoped to have and similar questions hinting his intentions for marriage.  It was only weeks later when he proposed to me down the street in Kraft Azalea Gardens.  I’m so glad I said YES.

I’m actually surprised we haven’t shared this Romantic Orlando location with you up until now.  We don’t know where to begin…

Continue reading →

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Orlando Date Ideas, Romantic Orlando, Romantic Vacation Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on August 22, 2011 by Debi Walter

Graphic Credit: Unconventional Redhead blog

We are home!  I slept so sound last night I didn’t even dream.  For those of you who know me this is a big deal!  I dream every night and in full color.  Sometimes my dreams are so real that when I wake up I’m either surprised or relieved.

Photo Credit: she-fit.com

The night before last I had one of those dreams most would call a nightmare.  I woke up so upset and crying I had to get up.  I needed to convince myself it was only a dream.  The only way I can do this is to get out of bed and spend time in the Bible and prayer.

Continue reading →

Posted in Cheap Dates, Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Free Dates, Fun Dates, Romance in Marriage, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romantic date nights | Comments Off on Mark Your Calendar

A Fragrant Aroma – Meet The Cowan’s

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: mn.com

You may remember a video clip we shared with you back in February of 2010 of an elderly couple playing a beautiful grand piano in the atrium of The Mayo Clinic.  Or perhaps you have seen it for yourself on You Tube.  This sweet couple had no idea when a young woman happened to catch their lively duet on video and asked permission to post it on the internet – how it would change their lives.  They became instant celebrities bringing happiness and laughter to all within earshot, which grew to millions worldwide.

We found an interview with Marlow and Frances Cowan we think is worth sharing.  Watch it, and tell us what you love about this couple.  God is using them in their latter years to continue bearing much fruit for His glory.  An example worth emulating, don’t you think?

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Testimonies | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 15

Posted on August 18, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: wallpaper4god.com

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

If there has ever been one verse to perfectly capture my husband’s heart for life, marriage and parenting – it would be this verse.  He has modeled a soft answer in a way I have greatly needed.

Rewind the tape to my life as a young girl.  

I was provoked by my friends and my brother (whom I love dearly today).  They knew how to push my buttons to make me explode into a rage.  My older brother actually enjoyed getting me to this point.  🙂  Yet they were not able to make me sin.  They only revealed the sinful tendencies in my heart.  I was an impatient and often angry girl.

When I got married life was wonderful.  Tom looked after my needs and cared for me as his own.  But when I had children (3 in 4 years), I suddenly realized my anger had not been provoked.  It was not a pretty site.  I am actually ashamed of how I was.  So much so that I cringe whenever my children want to watch our old family videos.  I’m certain I will hear my sinful heart spewing out in the background.  It grieves my heart in a way no other sin has.

But all the while I had a husband who was patient, kind and understanding.  He didn’t throw me under the bus for being angry and impatient.  Instead, he loved me and helped me resist the sin that so easily tried to entangle me.  Little by little, and bit by bit I have become more like my husband in giving soft answers.  He has helped me by his example to be Christlike in my behavior.  When I wasn’t, all I had to do was repent of my sin.  My children loved me when I had wronged them.  They loved me when I was unlovable.  And so did Tom.

I am a blessed wife, mother and Nana, not because of the good I have done, but because of the good Christ has accomplished for me on the Cross.  I had hope to change because He came and was tempted as I was tempted, yet without sin.

Amazing!

So, what areas are you struggling with in your life?  Do you go to your spouse for help and advice?  Don’t neglect the one with whom God has joined you as one flesh.  They may be the answer for which you seek.  They may have strengths from which you can draw when you need it most.  This has certainly been the case in our marriage.  God knew what we both needed in providing us with each other.  I imagine He has done the same for you, but have you paused long enough to notice?

Do you give soft answers or are you more apt to be harsh?  Honestly admitting the truth is the first step.

Posted in Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Feeling Down In The Valley?

Posted on August 17, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Quebec City

There is something about a vineyard that holds a charm for us like no other place in the world.  We have had the privilege of visiting vineyards in France, Canada and our own Napa Valley.  Each one has perfected a method for producing what they believe is the best wines for their region.

The making of wine is not an easy task. It all depends on the climate, the skill of the winemaker, the cultivation of the vines, and the timing of harvest to bring each crop to its finest end.  It is an art – like a beautiful dance with a standing ovation that lingers on in the heart.

God knew when we started The Romantic Vineyard how aptly the name would be for cultivating a healthy marriage.  It seems the metaphors are endless in comparing the two.

Today we want to share with you an excellent article about 9 Spectacular Wine Valleys Across The World.  The pictures are breathtaking, and to visit each one would be an exciting goal.  You may be surprised where some of them are located.

Napa Valley by jimg944

The thought occurred to us how often in our marriage we can be in the valley.  We don’t think of the valley experience as “beautiful” do we!?  We long to move on – to see over the mountains to what’s coming, but we can’t.  We must wait for the future to come to us.  It can be discouraging and a time fraught with impatience, grumbling, fear and worry.

Consider these beautiful wine valleys – they use the valley to their advantage in order to cultivate some of the best grapes for making wine.  When it rains the water rushes down the mountainside providing rich nutrients on the fertile valley floor. Their location, as well as the torrential rains, God uses for the good of the crop.

So it is in marriage. 

When we are caught in the valley, those things in life which we haven’t anticipated, we must pray for God to rain down His wisdom on us.  He will respond by giving us exactly what we need in order to produce the best fruit in our marriage. And He has promised it will be a fruit that remains.

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.”

                                                      John 15:16 (NKJ)

What are you asking God for in your marriage?  Do you believe He will give you fruit that remains?  Look back to a time when He did this before in your marriage – surely He will do it again.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Purpose, The Romantic Vineyard | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Feeling Down In The Valley?

Romantic Orlando – The Ravenous Pig

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Debi Walter

I have to admit that when Tom told me he was taking me out for a nice dinner at The Ravenous Pig, I was less than enthused.

“I’m not in the mood for BBQ,” I told him.

He said, “Good, they don’t serve BBQ.”

I was intrigued, and I was soon-to-be pleasantly surprised.

Continue reading →

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Dinner Dates, Orlando Date Ideas, Romantic Orlando | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Debi Walter

Happy Birthday, Tom!

This is a special week for me.  It’s Tom’s birthday on Thursday.  I am excited to bless this man with whom I have shared every birthday of his since 1979.  He was 23, and I was 18.  We have celebrated in so many ways, but always it’s all about making the day he was born a day to remember.  One fun tradition of ours – I’m a pie baker, not a cake baker.  So we have always had birthday pies – not cake.  Tom’s favorite is Coconut Banana Cream.

We will be celebrating his birthday this year in Charlotte, N.C. with special friends we haven’t seen in….too long.

♥ FUN DATES TO CELEBRATE ♥

August 15

  • National Relaxation Day – make a list of all the things your spouse loves to do to relax and pack as many of them as you can into this day.  You may need to relax yourself when this day is done.

August 16th

  • National Tell A Joke Day – spend some time looking for some good ones to text to your spouse all day long.
  • National Rum Day – bake a rum cake, play pirates or watch one of Capt. Jack Sparrow’s epic movies.

August 17th

  • National Thrift Shop Day – okay, this one could be really fun.  When was the last time you played dress up?  Halloween isn’t included.  Each take $5 and see who can come up with the sexiest outfit from your local Thrift Store?  You know what they say, “A penny saved is a penny in your pocket!”

August 18th

  • National Soft Ice Cream Day – and it’s no wonder Tom loves this treat – today is his birthday!
  • Tom Walter’s Birthday!  I love you, babe!

August 19th

  • National Aviation Day – go parking in a field near your local airport to watch the planes come in.   A great excuse to park like you used to – back in the day!  🙂 But don’t forget to salute the pilot as he flies over.
  • National Potato Day – buy an order of french fries on your way to the airport (see above).  Or you could have a stuffed potato buffet for dinner.

August 20th

  • Lemonade Day – if it’s really hot, make some frozen lemonade Popsicles as a cool surprise.
  • National Radio Day – a great American pastime to listen, relax and enjoy those Popsicles.

August 21st

  • National Spumoni Day – Spumoni is an Italian dessert made of layers of ice cream, whip cream, candied fruit, and nuts. It’s a complex concoction of many flavors that originated in Naples, Italy and remains popular in parts of the US with large Italian immigrant populations.

♥ THINGS TO DO IN ORLANDO ♥

CENTRAL

  • Thornton Park – Downtown Art Walk on 3rd Thursdays, August 18th.  The event goes from 6p – 9p.  FREE.
  • Altamonte Springs – Uptown Altamonte presents Jazz Jams Uptown on Saturday, August 20th in beautiful Crane’s Roost Park.  7p – 10p  FREE.
  • Winter Park – Music at the Casa on Sunday, August 21st from 12p – 3p.  Cost is FREE.

NORTH

EAST

WEST

  • Clermont – Lakeridge Winery hosts The August Stomp on Saturday and Sunday, August 20th and 21st.  The event runs Sat. from 10a – 5p.  and Sun. from 11a. – 5p.  Cost is $2.
Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Mark Your Calendar

A Fragrant Aroma – Our 7 Links Challenge

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Tom and Debi

We want to thank Janine Ripper, of the Reflections From A Redhead blog for inviting us to take part in the 7 Links Challenge as hosted on @tripbase.

Photo Credit: parishwebassistant.com

The idea is to post 7 links according to their preset categories.  Since this will involve a lot of reading on your part, if you are interested in our picks – we have decided to forgo the Happy Hour feature this week.  We are instead sending this challenge to 5 of the blogs we usually feature on our Happy Hour weekly posts.  We hope they’ll enjoy taking part in this 7 Link Challenge as we have.

Your Most Beautiful Post

  • The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly – Yes, we’ve chosen this post as our most beautiful because marriage is most beautiful when we are loving each other as Christ has loved us.

Your Most Popular Post

  • Rainy Date Ideas – by a long shot!  We offer 11 ideas of fun dates to do when it’s raining outside.  With over double of the next closest post we realize there must be a lot of rain happening out there.  🙂

Your Most Controversial Post

  • Constrained Or Compromised – Although the angry commenter obviously misunderstood our metaphor, they still are the most offended any of our readers have ever been. So this post gets the honor!  Gratefully, not many of our posts are controversial.

Your Most Helpful Post

  • Soil Samples – This is the post where you’ll find lots and lots of questions to use in cultivating great conversations with your spouse.  The longer we’re married the easier it is to become lazy in our communication.  We can develop a false sense of knowing it all.  We will never know everything there is to know about our spouse.  These questions will help you dig deeper and love stronger, thus longer.

A Post Whose Success Surprised You

  • Close Friends – this post alone broke our all time hit number by more than double!  This goes to show how much we all love fun, creative ways to enjoy time together.  Playing romantic Scrabble may become our new pastime.

A Post You Feel Didn’t Get The Attention It Deserved

  • The Marriage Stage – This post is from September 2010.  Since then our readership has grown, and it is a post we believe all should read.

The Post You Are Most Proud Of

  • Another Award – The second of two awards we received for 2010.  We are constantly amazed that our readers keep coming back.  So to be named a Top 10 Marriage Blog as well as a Hot Marriage Blog for 2010 was quite an honor to say the least.  These two make us proud not in ourselves, but in what God is doing in the hearts of so many Christian marriages.  The fact that we get to play a small part is simply – a.m.a.z.i.n.g.

So what do you think?  Would you have picked different posts for the categories listed? 

And now it’s our turn to tag 5 bloggers to do this challenge.  If you’re listed below simply follow this link for the rules.  And be sure to let us know when your 7 Links post is published – we can’t wait to read them!

Encourage Your Spouse

Marriage Life

One Flesh Marriage

The Generous Husband

The Generous Wife

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Purpose, The Gospel & Marriage, The Romantic Vineyard | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 14

Posted on August 11, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: joeldyke.com

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,
but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.”

Proverbs 14:4

This verse makes us smile every time we read it.  God is saying if you want to bear much fruit for My glory, you need to know it’s going to be messy and smelly at times.  Are you in?

On a farm back in the day, it was good to have an ox.  They worked hard and pulled the plow through thick overgrown plots of land.  Without the ox the work would have been nearly impossible.  The farmer was willing to care for the ox – the feeding and the cleaning it required seemed like more work – yet, he knew the truth that there would be no harvest, no fruit without it.  He was willing to literally shovel manure in order to have an ox to help him do what he knew he couldn’t do alone.

Photo Credit: Ross Farm Museum

How many couples would sign up for marriage if they had this metaphor given to them as incentive?  Only those who are used to life on a farm and the benefits provided by working hard for something that matters would most likely be enthusiastic.

Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Difficulty, Forgiveness, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Jacket Fit Perfectly, Like A Hug

Posted on August 10, 2011 by Debi Walter

Today we share with you a story from a very special friend – Jodie Gill.  She has been used of God to encourage me so many times.  She tends to find herself in places which surprise even her; places where she meets someone in need of encouragement and a warm hug.  We recently read the following account she posted on her FB page.  We asked her permission to re-post it for you. It is a moment Jodie says she’ll never forget, nor will we.  You may want to grab a tissue for this endearing story of lasting love.

Continue reading →

Posted in Guest Post, Testimonies | 3 Comments

Rainbow’s End Date Night

Posted on August 9, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: softwindscandlecompany.com

We’ve all heard of it – the ‘pot o’ gold’ waiting to be claimed at the end of the rainbow.  Wouldn’t it be nice if it were possible to travel to such a place to find our heart’s desire?  With the economy the way it is – you may be happy with the pot of gold – period.  🙂

Let’s delve into this idea and see where it leads …

Continue reading →

Posted in Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Difficulty, Fun Dates, Growing Strong Marriages, Romance, Romance in Marriage, Romantic Ideas, Unique Dates | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Debi Walter

Today begins our first full week knowing our favorite smooth jazz radio station is gone.

F.O.R.E.V.E.R. 

WLOQ has been a local favorite for 34 years.  It was owned by one family who decided it was time to sell for medical reasons.  Orlando’s air waves have lost a comforting voice as well as a supporting friend.  They were very active in our community providing great concerts, contests and charity fund raisers.  Their on-line radio personalities were kind and well loved.  We feel as if we’ve lost a good friend.  In essence – we have. Here are the final moments of WLOQ – can you guess the final song they played on air?

(for the answer, press and hold your mouse and scroll here > Louis Armstrong’s, What A Wonderful World.

In addition to this sad news, you may or may not be happy to hear that Elvis is no longer dead.  His music lives on 103.1, taking WLOQ’s place.  Not being an Elvis lover AT ALL, I see this as only adding insult to injury.  WLOQ still broadcasts on-line, but it’s not the same.  I am grateful I can listen to it this way, but I miss it in my car.  Not to mention the contests I was privileged to win. 🙂 Only time will tell what the new WLOQ will sound like, BUT I’m grateful now more than ever for my ipod.

Enough of my lamenting – there are still great things to do in our beautiful city. Plan something special with your sweetie this week!

♥ FUN DATES TO CELEBRATE ♥

August 9th

  • Book Lover’s Day – we heard recently of some friends who spent the better part of an afternoon with two chairs set in a cool stream while they each enjoyed reading a book together while the cool water rushed over their bare feet.  Sounds like a refreshing way to celebrate this day!

August 10th

  • National S’mores Day – cook up some in your own backyard.

August 13th

  • Left-Hander’s Day – If your spouse is left handed, why not celebrate their uniqueness at dinner.  Set the table backwards and make place cards written from right to left.

August 14th

  • National Creamsicle Day – Orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream on a stick – yumm-o!

♥ THINGS TO DO IN ORLANDO ♥

CENTRAL

NORTH

  • Sanford – Alive After Five will take place on Thursday, August 11th from 5p – 9p.  The cost is $5, which includes food and drinks as well as live entertainment.
  • Mt. Dora – 2nd Friday in the Park on August 12th there will be a FREE outdoor movie in Donnelly Park.  The movie is The Game Plan and begins at dusk.

EAST

  • Titusville – Titusville Playhouse presents The Sound of Music.  See site for prices, dates and times.  Through August 14th.

SOUTH

  • St. Cloud – Movie at the Lakefront on Friday, August 12th beginning at sunset.  This month’s movie is Rango.  FREE.

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Music, Orlando Date Ideas, romantic date nights | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on August 5, 2011 by Debi Walter

So, here are the posts of other marriage bloggers which stood out as “special” to us.  Take some time over the weekend to read and enjoy. 

@Awesome Husbands

  • 100 Ways To Love Your Wife – a new blog we are so excited to have found.  Larry shares with us a list of 100 ways men can romance their wives.  You have to find time to check this one out!  You may want to print and save it too.

Encourage Your Spouse

  • Beating Cancer Together – an inspiring story of married love facing the worst of news.  Hint: It has a happy ending. 🙂

Marriage Gems

  • Reclaim Relaxation for a Better Marriage – this post addresses something I’ve been observing lately – how connected we are all the time.  If this describes you, this post might give you encouragement to work on relaxing.

Marriage Life

  • Remind Me – A great post with a link to a great song about the importance of keeping the romance alive in your marriage.
  • I Want My Spouse – something both husband and wife need to hear and believe.

One Flesh Marriage

  • Life In A Sexual Drought – Do you and your spouse argue often about the frequency of your intimate encounters?  If so, you MUST read this post, for the health of your relationship.
  • Ending The Sexual Drought – Brad’s conclusion to the previous post.

The Generous Husband

  • She’s Not Your Mom – Of course the title is obvious, but after reading this post you may be surprised at how often the husband treats his wife like she was his mom.

The Generous Wife

 

Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Fragrant Aroma – Final Gift

Posted on August 5, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Donzell Reid Effron 1922-2011

We attended the funeral of a lifelong friend’s mother on Monday.  It was expected, as she had been declining for weeks.  She was 89 and had lived a full, vibrant life.  Her children and grandchildren shared their thoughts and memories with all of us as lots of tears were shed.

No one expected the final letter.  It was from her – the deceased.  She had written this letter back in 1991 and left instructions for it to be read at her funeral.  The one chosen to read was her granddaughter.  As we waited for her to begin there wasn’t a sound in the chapel.  The anticipation was palpable.

I can’t tell you everything she said, but one line I will never forget:

Continue reading →

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, communication, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 13

Posted on August 4, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: joeldyke.com

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

                                             Proverbs 13:20

For as long as I can remember, it has been Tom’s goal in our marriage to pursue relationships with whom we respect and desire to be like.  And I can say looking back through the years, we’ve made some amazing friends who are, in my humble opinion, quality, God-fearing couples who not only enjoy each other, but their pursuit of God is riveting.  We have been blessed beyond measure, and it is because of Tom’s leadership in this area.

Who are the friends you pursue?  And why?

Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

What Does A Healthy Marriage Look Like?

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: womansday.com

School is about to begin and many parents are rushing to have their children’s annual Health Examination with a qualified doctor.  It is good to have regular check-ups in order to evaluate our body – to determine what’s healthy and what’s deprived.

It would be good for us to do this on a regular basis with our marriage; to have an annual check-up of sorts.  We are usually quite aware of what’s wrong with our spouse.  It’s the things we tend to get irritated over time and time again.  But do we purpose to sit down with our spouse to have an objective look at our own heart?

Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The “IF” Factor

Posted on August 2, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: GU's Verden

“IF” is a small word which holds a powerful punch.  In fact it is capable of holding many spouses hostage by it’s accusations. If only I hadn’t done such and such.  What if this had happened instead of THIS?

Think about how many times you’ve pondered the “If only I hadn’t done _______!”  or “If only I had done _______!” statements since you’ve been married. Or worse, the “if only he/she hadn’t done this…!” statements.  Think about how many times you’ve pondered the “What if this hadn’t happened?” question since you’ve been married.

“If” is a powerful word, but only as powerful as we allow it to be. 

We spent our date night this week talking about this little word.  We have had our issues with the word “if” through the years.  It could have had a powerful hold on us, BUT!  We have chosen to resist it’s lure by applying Scripture to it’s every question.

What is the proper answer to the “what if” question?  It’s simply that God’s grace will help me face every tomorrow with His power.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  Matthew 6:34

What is the answer to the “if only” questions?

“…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”  Philippians 3:13b – 15

If there are hurts and regrets that I can’t do anything about today, I must take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

If my obedience to the things I do today don’t produce the results I expect, what should this matter to me?  My job is to be obedient, but the results are up to God!

The question to ask ourselves on a regular basis is, “Am I doing today what God has called me to do?”  If the answer is “yes,” then I MUST leave the “if onlys” with Him.  And I must leave the “what if’s” with Him as well.

Impossible you say?  Absolutely apart from the help which God provides.  His plan is to lead us through this life, but to continually show us our need for a Savior.  When we feel incapable of going any further – this is exactly where He desires us to be – dependent on Him.

And He is ABLE!

Did you hear that?  He is able to carry us, carry YOU, through every “if” moment.   We must simply acknowledge our need for His help.  Cry out to Him, and he will turn your what if’s and if onlys into amazing miracles wrought for His glory.

How are you tempted with the “if” questions?

Posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments