Mark Your Calendar

Posted on August 1, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Mrs. R.J. Harman

This past weekend we had the privilege of coordinating an amazing wedding.  This is the bride.  Every bride is beautiful and none more so than your very own.  We love being a part of the beginning of married love.  With all the plans which take months to insure their dreams come true, our purpose is to be there for the “happily ever after.”   A wedding is hard work.  It takes hours to make sure every detail has been thought of and planned.  But marriage is even harder.  We can’t expect our years together to be easy, and if you know this beforehand it will make the difficult years easier to endure.  Our friends, Stu and Lisa Gray with The Stupendous Marriage blog,  have an excellent post which addresses the whole issue of longevity in marriage.  We highly recommend it to you.

We have also just ended our Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday during the month of July.  It has been good, but quite a challenge.  We are grateful for the many new couples who have joined our community.  We pray you’ll make yourself known by commenting and adding your wisdom to our archives.  The Romantic Vineyard exists for all couples desiring to grow their marriage for the glory of God.  He will help you as you humbly pursue Him.  We know because He is the reason we have anything to share with others.

If you’re looking for something special to celebrate this week – we have you covered. 🙂

♥ Fun Dates To Celebrate ♥

First of all August is Romance Awareness Month as well as National Picnic Month.  So make plans to have at least one romantic picnic this month.

August 2nd

  • National Ice Cream Sandwich Day – surprise your spouse by making your own with these recipes.

August 3rd

  • National Watermelon Day – have a seed spitting contest for fun.

August 7th

  • International Forgiveness Day – make amends if you are harboring unforgiveness.  If it’s too big to conquer on your own, purpose today to seek the help you need to resolve this conflict.
  • National Lighthouse Day – visit a local lighthouse.  If you’re not near the coast – watch a movie with a lighthouse featured.  Here’s a great list of lighthouse movies with the names and locations of the lighthouses featured.

♥ Things To Do In Orlando ♥

CENTRAL

NORTH

  • Sanford – Jazzed in Sanford is a FREE outdoor concert which will take place on Saturday, August 6th from 4p – 7p.

EAST

  • Leu Gardens – Date Night in the Gardens features a movie shown under a starlit sky on Friday, August 5th.  This month’s feature is Twilight and the cost is $5 per adult – FREE for Garden members.  Pack a dinner with blankets and chairs for a romantic evening.
  • Deland – Tropical Storm Nights on Friday, August 5th from 6p – 9p.  FREE. Everyone’s favorite tropical street party gets a second chance! Tropical Hammer Steel Drum band will be back along with the Crazy Hat Contest, limbo, hula and merchant specials!

SOUTH

  • Kissimmee – Blue Grass Jam Session at the Osceola County Historical Society on Sunday, August 7th from 1:00 – 3:30.  FREE.  Bill Monroe, a bluegrass pioneer said, “…It’s blues and jazz, and it has a high lonesome sound. It’s plain music that tells a good story. It’s played from my heart to your heart, and it will touch you. Bluegrass is music that matters.”

What are your plans for this week?  Share with us your special date night – we’d love to hear about it.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Top 10 Reasons We Blog

Posted on July 31, 2011 by Debi Walter

Ah, We’ve made it to the end of our first ever Ultimate Blog Challenge, and it has been a whirlwind of a ride.  It wasn’t as hard as we anticipated, and we learned so much along the way, not to mention the great friends we’ve met.  Thank you for taking the time to read and comment – we have read each one and enjoyed hearing how our Vineyard looks from your point of view.

Without further delay we wanted to share with you the 10 reasons we blog:

  1. To write on a regular basis.
  2. To share our passion for marriage.
  3. As an act of obedience to God – He is the One who lead us to start The Romantic Vineyard in November 2008!
  4. To provide a one stop place on the internet where couples can have access to many resources on the web.
  5. To share date night ideas.
  6. To share lessons we’ve learned in our 32 years of marriage.
  7. To help other marriages become all the Lord has intended for them to be.
  8. To provide resources to enrich your growth in godliness, both individually and as a couple.
  9. To share our life and love with you as we are growing and changing.
  10. To be a light in a dark world upholding marriage to the place it is meant to be – a reflection of Christ’s love for His church.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for spending time in our Vineyard this month.  We pray you will return and share with us how things are going in your own Romantic Vineyard.  You see, we don’t have anything in our marriage that we haven’t been given by God’s grace.  This same grace is available to all couples who love the Lord and desire to grow a rich harvest for His pleasure.  We are all part a grower’s co-op of sorts – each marriage producing a different variety of grape, but all grown for the glory of the King.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  – Ephesians 2:10

We personally invite you to follow us on Twitter, become a part of our Facebook Family, and to sign up to receive our new posts via e-mail.   We are so happy to have met you.  We pray we’ll be able to continue cultivating our vineyards together and glean from each other what we’re learning.

What have you found to be the most helpful posts we provide?  We would love to hear your thoughts!

This is the final post #31 of The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July – WE DID IT!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Purpose, The Romantic Vineyard | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on July 29, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Below are our “Specials of the Week!”  Be sure to spend some time this weekend visiting these worthwhile blogs.  We love the marriage community God is building on the internet.  It is our joy to share what other couples are writing about to encourage all marriages – including yours and ours.

A Grown Up Marriage

  • Some Observations on Sex – this is a good post for those in the marriage who aren’t as interested in sex.  There is often one spouse who can’t get enough and one who isn’t as interested.  Both need to read this post!

Encourage Your Spouse

  • Showing You Value Your Spouse – The first of 10 ways to show you value your spouse.  These will be good, we’re sure – so check back to follow this countdown.

Journey To Surrender

  • The Power of Public Praise– this is the question that jumped off the page of this post:
    If I were to ask your friends, family and co-workers how you feel about your spouse, what would they say?

Marriage Gems

Marriage Life

  • I Get To Pray For My Spouse – What is your perspective on prayer?  Do you see it as a “must do,” or a “get to?”  Your answer makes all the difference.

One Flesh Marriage

The Generous Husband

The Generous Wife

  • Show Preference – a post we need to read and APPLY.  Does your spouse hold a special place like no one else.  Do they know it?


Posted in Blog Love, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Fragrant Aroma – A Special Gift

Posted on July 29, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: A Mile In My Schu's blog

I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t appreciate a special gift.  Even more so when it is given for no particular reason.  I had this happen to me, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

First of all, you will be surprised to know it didn’t come from Tom.  He was present when I received it and even joined with me in my joy.  But the actual gift came from another who loves me more than Tom.

Continue reading →

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Difficulty, humor | 6 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 12

Posted on July 28, 2011 by Tom Walter

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 12:18

Definition of Rash – Uttered or undertaken with too much haste or too little reflection.

Think about your marriage and the words you choose to use when facing difficulty or conflict.  What are the words you use without thinking? They may be rash and if so, the Bible says they are like sword thrusts!

Have you ever considered your words being as sharp as a sword?  They are.  They can be used like a sword to bring pain and injury.  Or they can be used as a surgeon’s scalpel to help provide healing.

Your words may not produce huge arguments, but if they sting – you can be sure they are causing damage.  It may not be enough to kill, but enough little stings given over a long period of time can certainly take the life out of a relationship.

Photo Credit: epicvelocity.wordpress.com

What is the answer?  How do we stop giving zingers and offer kind words instead?  If your natural bent is to be harsh or to speak rashly without thinking, it will take more than pure resolve on your part to change. Any sin which has taken hold of our habits must be surrendered to Christ.  Only He can help us stop what we are in the habit of doing and help us say NO to it in the future.

Begin today to ask God to help you think before you speak.  Ask Him to help you use your words to heal and not harm.  And most of all talk to your spouse about your desire to change in this area.  If it is a really serious problem, you may need to ask for another couple to help hold you accountable.  Don’t let another week go by where this sin is allowed to thrive.  You can do this because God is ready and willing to help you say no to rash words and yes to words that heal.

This is post #28 in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Romantic Orlando – The Chef’s Table

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: Bill Minter

We said yes without even thinking.  How could we refuse?  It was the opportunity to experience dining on a whole new level.

We were in New Orleans on business.  Some dear friends from California were there as well and celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.  They invited us to go with them to The Commander’s Palace (where Emeril Lagasse got his start) and dine at the Chef’s Table.  We couldn’t believe they wanted us to join them, but without hesitation we accepted.

It was not simply dinner – it was an event!  The sous chef entertained us, engaged us in the making of each course, and explained everything about life in his working environment.  It was an absolute blast.  It is still one of those nights we rank in the Top Three of our best romantic dates.

B.U.T. most couples can’t or don’t want to afford such an experience.  I know we couldn’t at that time in our marriage, but God blessed us.

We share with you this story so you can appreciate a couple of affordable alternatives.

Continue reading →

Posted in Celebration Dates, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Dinner Dates, Fun Dates, Orlando Date Ideas, Romantic Ideas, Romantic Orlando | 5 Comments

Close Friends

Posted on July 26, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: jehsom's photostream on flickr.com

I love Scrabble.  Tom doesn’t.  Mostly because words are my friends, and he feels outnumbered when we play.  But we don’t play much anymore, which is sad.  Words could be Tom’s friends too, if he would just give them a chance.

He has a better relationship with numbers.  Me?  Not so much.  I don’t do numbers because they always have to be just right.  Get one off and the whole deal is over.  They seem too stuffy for me – too in your face.  I like words because there are several meanings for one word.  It’s not that way with numbers.  2 + 2 always equals 4.  Where’s the creativity in that? There’s no room for self-expression.

Tom can keep his numbers, and I’ll keep my words.  But what if…

Continue reading →

Posted in Creative Dates, Date Night Ideas, Free Dates, Fun Dates, Rainy Day Dates, Romance, Romance in Marriage, romantic date nights | Tagged , , , | 25 Comments

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on July 25, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: keepandshare.com

This is another busy week for us – the third of four weddings this summer will take place on Saturday. The Bride and Groom will share their vows in front of a room full of witnesses, and will become by God’s power – One Flesh.  We never tire of it, although the planning can be a bit tedious with the deadlines and all.  But when the kiss finally seals the deal, we’ll realize all the late nights and last minute changes will have been worth it.

How about you?  Is planning and working towards a special time with your spouse worth the effort?  Do you need an idea for a creative date night this week? We want to help.

Continue reading →

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas, Romance in Marriage, romancing your spouse | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Intoxicating Love

Posted on July 24, 2011 by Tom Walter

Photo Credit: Aubrey Reel with Infinite Images

I had the privilege of attending a meeting yesterday for the men of our local church.

One session was titled, “The Protection of Intoxicating Love,” and it was so practical I had to take the time to share it with you.  It starts with two excellent quotes – one from the Bible and one by Eugene Peterson from, “The Message.”

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.  Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”              Proverbs 5:18-19

“Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose – don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!”

These quotes were followed with 10 practical applications given by one of our pastors, Aron Osbourne.  I pray you will be surprised by how many of these you already practice, and be challenged with the ones you may have never considered.  Guaranteed, a husband who pursues his wife in this way will reap lasting benefit!

  1. Have a regular date night together.
  2. Pursue her emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
  3. Write her notes and/or call her during the day.
  4. Be her biggest encourager.
  5. Express physical affection outside of it leading to sexual intimacy.
  6. Look her in the eyes when you speak to her.
  7. Say, “I love you” when it isn’t expected.
  8. Plan something for her – lots of small things and something really BIG.
  9. Sit on the same side of the table at a restaurant and not just for a better view of the game.
  10. Find ways to refresh her…send her away for an afternoon, an evening or an entire weekend.

I’m grateful to be reminded once again of the importance of fanning the flames of affection for the wife of my youth.

In what ways are you fanning the flames?  What would you add to this list?

This is post #24 in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.  One week to go!

Posted in Christian Marriage, Husbands, Romance in Marriage, romancing your wife | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Debi Walter

Yes, it’s the end of another week and busy one at that for us!  But we wanted to share with you the blog posts which deserve to be featured as our “Specials” this week.  Enjoy!

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Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour | 2 Comments

A Fragrant Aroma – Perfect Balance

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Debi Walter

Today I’m taking you on an excursion.  You’ve just been dropped off at San Diego State University Campus for your first ever WordPress WordCamp.  What’s a WordCamp you ask?  All I know is it’s THE place to go to get questions answered you never knew enough to ask.  If you’ve been blogging long, that sentence makes perfect sense.  If not, hang on because it won’t be long until it will.

Back to our excursion.  Tom dropped me off so I could play with words all day while he played golf with his dad.  It was going to be a perfect day for both of us – at least this is what I had hoped.

You see I walked into the building where the Camp was to take place at 8a. and there wasn’t a soul in sight.  No where.

Not one breathing human being.  Then, I got spooked.  Maybe I shouldn’t be in the large empty building – alone.  So I called Tom to have some connection with the outside world while I walked quickly out to the street.  As we chatted I remembered passing a Starbucks only a couple of blocks away.  It seemed like a good place to walk to briskly to make it look I knew where I was and why I was here.  Plus it killed a bit of time.

After my Starbucks nerves kicked in, I walked back to the building.  This time I had success.  I followed a lady who said the WordCamp was taking place a block away.  Ah! It was going to be a good day after all.  Her name was Jenny.  I now knew someone at the camp, so I wouldn’t be a complete stranger.

I walked in to the foyer where I was given a T-shirt that makes me feel really smart – it says “Code is Poetry” on the sleeve.  I like it; not that I have a clue how code can be poetry, but it’s like those Holiday Inn commercials; it makes me feel smart.  🙂  I’m drifting…sorry.

The WordCamp began with about 250 people from all walks of life attending.  I thought I might be the “grandma” in the group, but surprisingly there were people from all different ages and occupations.  I met one lady, who has since become a friend on FB who manages over 51+ websites and she’s close to my age.  We hit it off quite well, and she was as interested in what we do on The Romantic Vineyard as I was in what she does.  This was the case with everyone in the room.  They were helpful, informative and most of all – friendly.

The highlight of the day for me was the last schedule event –  The Town Hall meeting with Matt Wullenweg, the co-founder of WordPress.  He is a young man with a kind demeanor.  He shared his story of how WordPress began and what he desires for it to be.  (If You click the link on his name you can hear his entire story – very interesting!) In every decision he makes he considers first the end user’s experience and then works backwards to find an answer to make it happen.  He said the most fulfilling part of WordPress to him, and has been from the beginning, is the idea that someone who knows nothing about blogs or websites can sign up and in a short amount of time have an amazing site up and running.  He said this with sincere humility.  He wasn’t impressed with himself or what he had done.  He was glad to be a part of the great team at Automattic – his think tank he calls the grandchild of WordPress.  He spent over an hour casually sharing his vision with us and answering all questions as honestly as he could.  I was impressed.

Afterward I was able to get my picture taken with him.

I learned so many things, but one of my favorites was making a QR Code for The Romantic Vineyard.  I learned by asking someone how he got a QR Code on his business card.  He answered, “It’s simple – you want to make one?  Here, I’ll show you.”  And he did.  Here it is:

My day was an absolute blast.  I love the WordPress community.  And I love my husband for letting me go.  When he picked me up I was happy to see his familiar face.  I opened the door, plopped in the seat and clicked my seat belt.

Before we pulled out of the parking lot Tom asked, “So, how was it?”

I think I talked all the way to Los Angeles – a two hour drive. 🙂

I am grateful for Tom who encourages me to go and learn something new, listens to what I’ve learned and then, helps me apply it.  He is my one constant in our ever-changing world, and I thank God for how He’s helped us both learn to balance each other in the process – one day, one blog post at a time.

How does your spouse encourage you to learn new things?  Do you support their dreams as well?

This is post #22 in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 11

Posted on July 21, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: ivehadanepiphany.blogspot.com

“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer;
another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.
Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered.”

– Proverbs 11:24-25

What a wonderful picture of a godly marriage. 

The spouse who gives freely, not clinging to their rights, their preferences, but loves wholeheartedly in an unselfish way will in turn receive great riches.  This isn’t a promise as much as it is a principle by which to live.

Think about the last time your spouse did something completely unexpected and thoughtful for you – to bless you or make your life a little easier.  How did you feel?  Didn’t it make your love and affection for them increase?  It should have.  Unless, of course, there are unresolved resentments, which taint even the best made efforts, but that’s another post.

This is the way Christ has loved us. 

He surprises us with help right when we need it most.  He gave His very life in order that we might have life in return.  As we give our lives away to our spouse, not only do they receive the blessing, but we receive even more!

How do we water our marriages?  As we drink from the Word of God and apply it to our lives, it affects the words we speak and the actions we take.  It is as if we are watering the soil of our marriage.  From a well-watered garden springs life and fruit.  If water is cut off and no nutrients are given to the soil, the harvest will suffer for it.  But if we do as these verses say and “give…bless…and water” our marriages can’t help but be affected for good.  More than this these verses say we’ll “grow all the richer….and be enriched.”

On our flight home from California Tuesday, we were tired and ready to be home.  We had delays and unexpected changes, which made the travel time not so enjoyable.  But Tom did a couple of things to help me and to show his love and care.  He surprised me with my favorite candy bar – a new version made with DARK chocolate, which he knew I’d love.

Later in the flight my feet were freezing – I had on my traditional flip-flops.  Since Tom had taken his shoes off to relax he offered them to warm my cold feet.  It did the trick. 🙂

These two gestures on Tom’s part were small.  It would be easy for me to overlook these kindnesses, but I’m learning to notice these moments and more importantly to express my gratefulness for them.  It’s in the little, everyday moments that healthy marriages grow stronger and more intimate, but we have to be watching for them.  Let’s purpose to catch our spouse doing something right.  Give them praise and commend them often, instead of withholding our praise or worse – belittling and nagging them.  Those who withhold, the Bible says,  “will only suffer want.”  Now this is certainly something no one wants to experience in marriage.  But even if we ARE experiencing want – the answer is simple…start watering your marriage with praise and give of yourself unselfishly and watch the want turn to blessing and riches.

In what small ways has your spouse blessed you recently? What can you do today to make your spouse’s life a little better?

This is post #21 in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Growing Strong Marriages, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Slices – California Dreaming

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Debi Walter

Since the day is nearly over on the East Coast, and my body is still on West Coast time, I’ve decided to offer one of our “Slices” posts.  These occur from time to time and usually have no words at all – simply a picture or pictures giving a slice of our lives -specifically, or married life – generally.

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Posted in Slices, Travel | Comments Off on Slices – California Dreaming

POP.U.LAR

Posted on July 19, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: dodger1.glogster.com

Who doesn’t want to be popular?  It’s built into the human psyche to be loved and accepted.  The more people who love and accept us moves our perceived reputation up the invisible scale of being popular.  At least this is what we think.

We recently saw the Broadway production of Wicked.  I love the theatre, and this is by far my favorite.  Although I’ve only seen a handful of shows, the music, the talent, the set, the story – all play into my love for this musical.

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Posted in Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Growing Strong Marriages, Rainy Day Dates | 8 Comments

Bursting With Joy

Posted on July 18, 2011 by Debi Walter

Have you ever felt so full of joy you felt as if you would bust?  I’m so there!  Yesterday was a memorable day for many reasons…

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Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Orlando Date Ideas, Purpose, Romance in Marriage, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Grateful For Life

Posted on July 17, 2011 by Debi Walter

Today is the one day a year where I pause and thank God for giving me life.  Today is my birthday.  The day my Mom labored to bring me into the world.  I’m grateful she was willing to do this for me.  Having three children of my own I realize the pain that accompanies birth.  But it was SO worth it.  I can’t imaging life without my kids.

Marriage is also a relationship that certainly brings pain and difficulty.  The forging of two lives into one comes with a price – it costs the husband and wife their independence. Tom and I are no longer free to go and do as we want without regard for the other.  We have made vows which tied our choices and the consequences together forever.  Sadly, many couples don’t realize the sacrifice involved in the marriage relationship.  Rather than push through their differences and work hard to find resolve, they quit.

Oh, but what joy Tom and I have discovered by enduring through the suffering.  As we’ve pushed through the miscommunication, the conflict and the hurt that all marriages face – we’ve found new life. Like the cry of a newborn baby gasping its first breath, we breathe in the fresh air of forgiveness and new life is born into our relationship as a result.

Have you suffered long and hard?  Have you reached a place where it seems there is no solution?  Have you continued to communicate through the problem even though it hurts?  May we encourage you to PRESS ON!  There is joy and a deeper sense of oneness to be discovered on the other side.

I am grateful today for my life and the life God has breathed into our marriage.  Both are for His glory to use as He will.

What are you grateful for this day?

This is post #17 in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.

Posted in Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Forgiveness, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Twitter Eyes

Posted on July 16, 2011 by Debi Walter


It is 6a. Pacific Time, and I’ve been awake for awhile.  At 8a. I will attend my first WordPress WordCamp at San Diego State University.  We love WordPress.  It has been nearly two years since we switched our blog over from Blogger.  I have learned a lot in these two years – what to do and what isn’t worth the time.  I have signed up for more widgets that don’t work, but many more that do.  I am constantly amazed at the new features available, but so much I still don’t understand.  I have talked to a few other friends who use WordPress, but no one really, really knows it and how to make it work even better.  Thus, my excitement when I saw this camp was taking place the very same time we would be in San Diego for my Father-in-Law’s birthday.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Answer to prayer?  Absolutely.

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Posted in resources | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on July 15, 2011 by Debi Walter

Although we are away enjoying time with family, we didn’t want to miss the chance to share special posts from other blogs which stood out to us this past week.  Enjoy browsing!

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Posted in Blog Love, Happy Hour | Tagged , | Comments Off on Happy Hour

A Fragrant Aroma – A Good Question

Posted on July 15, 2011 by Debi Walter

Flying into San Diego

This week we are in San Diego to celebrate Tom’s Dad’s 80th birthday.  It has been years since we have been together with Tom’s extended family.  His sister is here with us from Orlando, and Tom’s aunt and uncle are here from Fremont, CA.  Dinner last night was the perfect time to ask a good question of the oldest among us, so I did.

“I have a question for you…what is your earliest memory?”

It didn’t take long for the stories to begin.  We heard about childhood antics and fun times between the two brothers.  We heard of Aunt Ginny having a crush on Uncle Robert since she was around ten years old.  It was intriguing to hear their stories, their history together, but even more so to sit back and absorb the rich legacy we’ve been given.

Uncle Bob and Aunt Ginny

Uncle Bob and Aunt Ginny celebrated 59 years of marriage in April.  We took the opportunity to ask them what they would say to newlyweds, what would be the reason given for their successful marriage?  Here’s what they had to say:

Aunt Ginny:  “Well, he traveled a lot!”

Uncle Bob: “So you’re saying our success was because I wasn’t around?”

They both laughed.  It’s obvious humor has played a large part in their successful marriage.

Uncle Bob: “Seriously, me going away in the war cemented our love.  We were in the same church, the same youth group, and when I was drafted I asked her if she would write me.”

Aunt Ginny: “Whew, yes it was the letters.  He could sure write great letters.” She fans herself as she thinks about them.

When asked about the longevity of their relationship they both agreed, “The biggest contributor to our success was the fact that we were great friends before.  Our shared lives as friends laid the strong foundation for our love.”

With two boys, four grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, God has richly blessed their life and love.  We are grateful to have had to opportunity to hear their story.

Who are the elders in your life waiting to be asked a good question?  

This is Post #15 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage, Testimonies | 8 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 10

Posted on July 14, 2011 by Tom and Debi

As we continue our chapter-by-chapter series on Proverbs we’ve come to a defining point in this book.  The first 9 chapters are mainly devoted to the comparison of wisdom and folly.  We have learned many ways to apply several scriptures to our marriages.  It’s easy to read, not so easy to apply.   In fact, obtaining godly wisdom is impossible, except by the active work of the Holy Spirit in each of our lives.  This is our hope.  No matter how much we see lacking either in our own lives or in our spouse’s life, we know that we know that God is faithful.  He has promised to complete the work He’s begun.  If you are tempted to lose heart because the path seems so long before you – use the Truth of Scripture to encourage your heart.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

A good test is to look back as far as you can in your marriage – for some this may be decades for others it may only be months.  However, all of us can see progress if we are seeking to grow in godliness.  Thank God we aren’t like we used to be, and we aren’t yet who we will be either!

Chapters 10 – 31 are full of short proverbs on various topics.  Many are only two sentences long.  These verses are not meant to be promises or commandments that stand-alone.  They are observations of one who was considering how to live rightly.  We must look at these verses in light of the rest of Scripture.  We believe this will be helpful as we take specific proverbs and seek to glean wisdom from them for our marriage.

Photo Credit: Wisdom in the Word blog

The Proverbs the Lord highlighted in our heart this week are from verses 17 – 19:

“Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.  The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.  When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

There is so much in these three short verses, as is the case with most of the Proverbs.  But here are several questions to consider regarding marriage:

  1. Am I teachable, approachable and willing to listen to my spouse’s opinion concerning me?  Or do I lash back, argue, become defensive or shut down when my spouse makes an observation about my motives?
  2. Do I withhold anger in my heart towards my spouse that they aren’t aware of?  Or do I talk about my spouse to others putting them in a bad light?  Slander is repeating a matter or offense to another (whether it’s true or false) that puts your spouse in a bad light.  Does the person you’re talking to about the matter have any part in the solution?  If not, this is slander.  If the person’s opinion of your spouse will be lowered as a result of your words – this is slander.  We must not hide under the guise: “I was just being honest!”
  3. The more we talk the more likely it is our words will be full of sin.  We used to quote this one to our teens when they wanted to talk for hours on the phone, texting or chatting on-line.  The same applies for married adults.

In short, we must use our words in a way that glorifies God.  When we don’t we must be humble and approachable, one who asks forgiveness and seeks to reconcile.  God alone gives grace to change, and it’s the humble person who receives grace in their time of need.

How do these three Proverbs speak to you?  Does it bring a situation to mind?  Talk about it with your spouse and seek to understand rightly by asking good questions.  This is the path to wisdom!

This is post #14 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in July.

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