Come Grow Old With Me

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Debi Walter
Print on Etsy by CANVASandPRINTSbyCAM

Print on Etsy by CANVASandPRINTSbyCAM

I remember when we reached the point in our marriage where we had been together longer than we had been single. It was thrilling to have crossed that milestone bringing with it a sense of success. Although we were very aware of God’s grace being the source of that success, for we would have never made it past year #3 without Him. 🙂

We just celebrated 34 years of marriage. I will turn 54 in July, and Tom will be 59 in August. I remember thinking how romantic “Come grow old with me…the best is yet to be,” sounded. To have someone who shared your life, love and desires. It would be a dream come true. Yet, you never really think about “growing old,” not really. At least I didn’t. I was content in the present and only dreamed about the future with rose-colored glasses. I thought growing old would be my happily-ever-after.

Life hasn’t dealt us that fairy-tale ending so far. It has been hard. It has had heart-breaks and disappointments. It has threatened to steal our joy and peace. It doesn’t look like we had dreamed it would in many ways, and it could be easy to grow more cynical as the years pass, but I haven’t.

I find myself praying more and more for God’s help from this vantage point…But God! 

These are the two words that offer us hope when facing such times. He is sovereign in all things. This includes times of sadness and disappointment. He is wanting to teach important Truths learned only in the valley. Growing old is not desirable to those who are idolizing youth, but it is desirable for the mature and wise of heart.

Those who grow old in their understanding of the Bible realize that the best really is yet to be. 

There is a day we’re all waiting for, when Christ will appear and wipe every tear from our eyes. Our growing old years have a purpose and that is to make us more like Christ. He is helping us shed mortality’s grip to embrace immortality. He suffered and endured pain for the joy that was set before Him. That joy was our salvation. He delighted to suffer for our freedom. This Truth informs my soul that the best really is yet to be.

What difficulties are you facing today? Are you feeling the weight of age, sadness or disappointment? How can meditating on the Truth of Eternity inform your emotions that the best is yet to be? Have you talked with your spouse about it? We encourage you to do so and pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to lead you through the struggle.

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and share with us what you did under Week #3. 

GYRO button

Posted in Aging, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Seasons of Life, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on March 1, 2013 by Tom and Debi

happy_hour_logo_cropped2It’s the time of the week when our attention turns to what God is saying through other marriage blogs we respect and enjoy. We call them our Specials of the Week! Enjoy!

Oh, and you might find it interesting that this is our 1,111th post. Now that’s something to celebrate!

Hope At Home

Intentionally Yours

  • Roots or Fruits – Part One – it matters what type of seeds you’re planting today. Great questions we should all ask ourselves on a regular basis.

Intimacy In Marriage

Marriage Missions International

One Flesh Marriage

  • That Still Hurts – we shouldn’t be surprised that past hurts can resurface with the same pain. It doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven, just that as humans we haven’t forgotten. There is hope–please read!
  • Forgiven Hurts – the follow up by Brad from Kate’s post above. Read both and drink deeply of the well of wisdom shared.

And our final blog we want to highlight is our daughter’s new blog:

NonGmo Journal

  • Gluten-Free Pop-Tarts – Tracy came up with this recipe at our house last week when Bradley was missing these breakfast favorites. They are amazingly good!
  • Rejoicing In The Bathroom – The Bible says to “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” 🙂
  • About Nongmo Journal – In case you want to know more of why she is doing what she’s doing check out her About page.  Tracy doesn’t think she’s much of a writer…I disagree. I hope you’ll read some of her posts and give her some blogger encouragement. I believe she’s doing a great job, but then again…I am her mom. 🙂
Posted in Blog Love, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Happy Hour

GYRO Week 3 – Alphabet Date Night

Posted on March 1, 2013 by Tom and Debi

We’re curious to hear how the challenge is going so far? Have you found having an hour or so date each week to be easier and more enjoyable than you thought? What has worked and what hasn’t? 

Gyro - week 3This week’s date is to choose one letter from the alphabet and plan an evening around that letter. If you have trouble thinking up your own ideas, check out our Alphabet Date Ideas we did 3 years ago; there’s plenty of ideas from which to choose. And you’re sure to have fun. Be sure to join us on Monday and share what you did in our GYRO tab at the top of the page.

To close out our posts on glorifying God in our marriage, we want to share the following:

Photo Credit: Daily Grace blog
Photo Credit: Daily Grace blog

Sometimes it helps to have a worship song to help us remember what we’re resolving to work on in our life and marriage. We have found a great song by Remedy Drive titled, Glorify. We pray it will be a gentle reminder of the importance of glorifying God in your marriage–for as long as you both shall live.

Posted in Alphabet Dates, Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Growing Strong Marriages, GYRO Challenge, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on GYRO Week 3 – Alphabet Date Night

Marriage Is – Being On The Same Team Fighting A Common Enemy

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Tom and Debi
Image Credit: U.S. Navy poster from 1943

Image Credit: U.S. Navy poster from 1943

Dr. Al Mohler continues in his excellent article by summarizing thus:

How does marriage glorify God? Tertullian, one of the early church fathers, offers wisdom: “How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in home, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice . . . Nothing divides them either in flesh or in spirit . . . They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side by side they visit God’s church and partake God’s banquet, side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another; they never shun each other’s company; they never bring sorrow to each other’s hearts . . . Seeing this Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there are two together, there also He is present.”

Marriage is the source of great and unspeakable happiness. Yet because of sin it is not unmixed happiness. But marriage is not first and foremost about making us happy. It is for making us holy. And through the covenant of marriage two Christians pledge to live together so as to make each other holy before God, as a testimony to Christ.

What Tertullian shares sounds impossible, and apart from the grace of God at work in a believer’s heart it would be. Yet, God is constantly at work in each heart–molding and shaping them into a spouse that reflects Christ’s glory.

Are we perfect? No, and we never will be. But are we forgiven? Oh, yes.

Our sins are not counted against us. We are free from the obligation to sin, yet we still do. We still hurt our spouse. We disappoint them. We say things we don’t really mean in the heat of an argument. But underneath all this is the binding together of two hearts into one flesh called marriage. God sees it as beautiful and worth fighting for through good days and the worst of days.

The question to ask ourselves each and every day is…do we see our marriage as beautiful and worth fighting for?

It is most important for us to remember we are on the same team fighting a common enemy who would love nothing more than to destroy another marriage. Resolve to not let this be your marriage! There is joy hidden for those who push through the struggles for the purpose of keeping your marriage vows unto God and for His glory.

In my favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly is facing the loss of something very precious to her – her family-owned business. She decides to fight for it because of the big bad Fox Books is trying to take over all she holds dear. I realize this metaphor doesn’t exactly fit, as she eventually goes out of business, but the idea of fighting for something you love, even when the going gets really hard, fits very well. Joe Fox advises her to “Go to the mattresses…fight…fight to the death!”

Are we willing to fight for our marriage in this way? If it’s only for our comfort and happiness we won’t. Life will get too hard to stay the course.

We need something greater to fight for, and it’s God’s glory.

Knowing the Creator of the Universe cares about our covenant of marriage, that He has taken the first step towards us in reconciliation, helps us take the first step towards our spouse when they have wronged us.

If the wrongs you have suffered are great and involve unfaithfulness, you will need help and biblical counsel to stay the course, if you so choose. We understand it is not good to stay in an abusive relationship either. These are extremes and require individual counsel, so please–if this is your marriage, don’t hear us say what we’re not saying. Get help!

In what ways are you finding joy in the difficult place? Have you experienced a breakthrough in a tough situation that made you grateful you chose to keep fighting for your marriage? How are you being tempted to give up?

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What Does It Look Like To Glorify God In Your Marriage?

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Tom and Debi
Photo Credit: menaftergod.wordpress.com

Photo Credit: menaftergod.wordpress.com

Dr. Albert Mohler is one of our favorite writers, pastors, teachers, and also serves as the President of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He wrote an article titled Marriage and the Glory of God that so wonderfully describes what this looks like practically in marriage that we’ve decided to talk about it for a few days.

Today we start with this quote:

It is bad enough that the secular world has discounted marriage into a quasi-legal contract that, like other voluntary contracts, can be made or broken at will. The greater tragedy is the failure of Christians to take marriage seriously. According to the Bible, marriage is not only designed by the Creator as an arena for human happiness and the continuation of the human race–it is also the arena of God’s glory, where the delights and disciplines of marriage point to the purpose for which human beings were made.

Did you catch that? “The greater tragedy is the failure of Christians to take marriage seriously.” We imagine most, if not all of you have Christian friends who have been divorced. For some it was the result of unfaithfulness on the part of one spouse to the other. We are not addressing those caught in such a sad situation.

What we want to address is the casual nature in which many Christians approach marriage.

We remember vividly being a part of a wedding where it was obvious the woman didn’t love the man as she should. She was more excited about the wedding plans than she was the marriage covenant. It was a sad day when the marriage ended only a few years later in divorce.

What are the “delights and disciplines of marriage” that Dr. Mohler is talking about which bring glory to God?

Delights of Marriage

He has created the marriage to reflect His Son’s love for the church. Christ delights in those who are His. In the same way a husband is to take great delight in his wife. She is the only one with whom he should seek comfort and solace. This is how God has designed it, and when a husband treats his wife in this way, God takes notice. It brings Him great glory.

Disciplines of Marriage

God knows we are sinners saved by grace. It is not in our nature to treat our spouse in a way that glorifies Him. So, He not only commands us to love in this way, but He breathes grace into our sinful nature allowing us to do what we couldn’t do on our own. This great exchange–our sinfulness for His holiness–brings God great glory. We were bought with a price. What a privilege it is to be asked to lay our lives down for another in the way Christ has done for us.

But we don’t do marriage perfectly. We mess up. We respond sinfully even when we don’t want to. This is why Dr. Mohler calls it discipline.

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
(Hebrews 12:11 ESV)

Let’s look at a common conflict most couples face–finances.

What if one spouse ignores the budget and spends an extravagant amount of money of something wanted, but not needed. And worse yet, they do it without asking? When the other spouse finds out do you think they are justified in feeling angry? Are they justified in lashing out in anger towards the other?

It is obvious the first spouse sinned against the other by acting independently without regard for the parameters set by the budget. It was like a slap in the face to the more disciplined spouse. But lashing out in anger won’t bring about the needed resolve. Instead it will only add fuel to the fire.

How can the disciplined spouse respond in this situation to bring glory to God? The answer is simple. Remember foremost how much Christ has forgiven them. This opens the door of humility which is a ground softener for confrontation. When we lash out in self-righteousness and anger it hardens the ground and makes the conflict more complicated to resolve. It takes great discipline steeped in the power of the Holy
Spirit to calmly discuss the whys of such financial decisions. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance and faith. Those who are seeking to live in a way that glorifies God will exhibit these fruits on a regular basis. Those marriages that are disciplined and enjoy great delight will also produce these fruits of the Spirit.

Wherever the fruit of the Spirit is produced you can be certain God is receiving glory. It can’t be any other way.

How would you respond in a similar conflict towards your spouse? What if you were to talk about how you would LIKE to respond now, so when you’re tested you’ll be more likely to choose the disciplined approach rather than the angry, self-righteous one.

 

Posted in Christian Marriage, Conflict, Difficulty, Fruits of the Spirit, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What Does It Look Like To Glorify God In Your Marriage?

The Bachelor…Husband?

Posted on February 26, 2013 by jtw

Today we’re thrilled to step aside as our son, Jason, shares what’s on his heart concerning marriage. We think you’ll enjoy his writing style as he is quite funny. There is no greater joy than realizing your children have caught the same passion as you and are running full speed ahead with it. Enjoy…xsean-lowe-as-the-bachelor-picture.jpg.pagespeed.ic.NUjEbWObgW

As I am typing this, Ashley (my wife) is in the other room watching The Bachelor with my sisters. I tried. I thought I could make an “investment” in our marriage, spend some “quality time” with my sisters by being with them tonight. Instead, I got “banned from the room for two hours.” Apparently, they like their bachelors without a commentary track.

So my dad asked if I’d like to provide a guest post while banished to the back room.

Of course I would. I’d love to write to you about how to serve your spouse and make every day better than the last. Unfortunately, I can’t at the moment ask my wife how she does it, because I am on thin ice in the talking department right now.

So this is the only advice I have to offer you, the lone reader who hasn’t stopped reading by this point—It’s okay to have different interests and hobbies. For example, I love horror movies, and Ashley loves watching scripted reality shows with my sisters. And never the twain shall meet, as the saying goes. And if that’s not a saying, it should be.

At this point, I’d say that I’m serving my wife far more by letting her enjoy her show without the pleasure of my company. If she wants to go out with the girls or spend some time without me, I do my best to always say yes. Ashley and I do share a lot of the same interests (good wine, the beach, comedies, good wine), and we frequently try new things together. But we’ve also discovered that marriage is for the long haul, we are secure in our love, and we can have separate hobbies without loving each other any less.

So as my wife watches her show with my sisters, I believe that am demonstrating my love by staying out of the room and letting her enjoy her time.

Also, I believe that her threats were not a joke.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Guest Post, humor, Husbands, Priorities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Embracing the Moment

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Debi Walter

Our Wedding Portrait

When a couple stands at the altar to exchange wedding vows, both promise many things to each other. Some share traditional vows and others write in their own words from the heart. Their focus is on the future and all it might hold for them.

Yesterday was our 34th anniversary, and we were surrounded with friends and family, but it wasn’t as you would think. You see, a lifelong friend turned 60, and we hosted the celebration in our home. All of our children (except our favorite son-in-love) were here and so were our 5 grandchildren. The day was filled with sharing memories, poems, cards, gifts and lots of coffee and laughter. It was a perfect day, much like our wedding day.

Life is like that. It brings opportunities to embrace the moment capturing in our hearts memories that last a lifetime.

Tonight Tom and I will celebrate our anniversary in the traditional way–we’ll go out for a quiet dinner together, we’ll exchange cards and share our hearts with one another. But instead of only focusing on the unknown future, we can now look back a marvel at what God has done. Doing so gives us faith for the “not yet” of our lives.

How is God helping you have faith for the “not yet”? Can you look back and see how His hand was at work when you didn’t see it in the moment? How can this help you today as you face an unknown future?

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and share with us what you did under Week #2. 

GYRO button

 

Posted in Aging, Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Newlyweds, Seasons of Life, Testimonies, The Gospel & Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

GYRO Week 2 – Coffee Shop

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Debi Walter
Created using Cool Text

Created using Cool Text

Welcome to week two of our Get Your Romance On Challenge. We have several signed up for the entire 14 week date night challenge. However, we invite you to try one or more even if you’re not up to doing all 14. It’s going to be fun. On Monday we’ll open up the comments for those who are participating to share what they did or are planning to do.

This date is for the coffee lover and is very easy to pull-off.

coffee shop

Pick an area of your home with comfortable seating and a nice lamp for ambient lighting. If you don’t have a place set up already, consider moving some furniture to a cozy corner for the date. Think coffee shop cozy!

Prepare a light snack and hot beverages using the best mugs you have.

When your date begins tell your spouse to leave their cell phone in the other room. Tonight is a night to relax over a cup o’ joe together and talk. You can talk about current events, dreams or whatever else stirs your fancy. You just can’t talk about anything that will heat up the conversation. The only heat on this date should be in the cup or in your bedroom. 🙂 You can even play a game of chess or checkers found in  most coffee shops. If you want some good questions to get the conversation going, try our Date Night Questions tab at the top offering over 100 questions for great conversations starters.

Be sure to share with us on our GYRO tab at the top how your date went and what you did. We invite you to send us a picture if you like. We’d love to share it to give others an idea of what works. Just send it to: theromanticvineyard (at) gmail (dot) com. Click the tab and scroll to the week of the challenge. We want to hear the ones that don’t go so well too. We learn much from the dates that flop, so don’t be discouraged if this happens to you. There’s a whole lifetime to learn and grow in this area.

Check out our Date Night Ideas board on Screen shot 2013-02-22 at 8.43.16 AM for even more Coffee Date inspiration.

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and leave your comment under Week #2. 

GYRO button

Posted in Artsy Dates, Christian Marriage, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, GYRO Challenge, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, romantic date nights | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

4 Myths Of At-Home Themed Date Nights – Part 4

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Debi Walter
Image Credit: Cheryl Dossey

Image Credit: Cheryl Dossey

Myth #4 – I’m not creative!

Oh how many times we’ve heard this one. The best part of planning a themed date is it makes it easier for those who are not so creative.

Having the parameters of a theme narrows down your choices. 

For example, say your spouse enjoys golf. It’s too expensive to take them golfing, so you have to choose what to do. First, think of the food available on the golf course: sandwiches, hot dogs, chips, and candy bars. Next, decide on an activity that you could do that goes along with this theme. Why not plan to make your own putt-putt course in the house? Using solo cups numbered from 1 – 18, make 18 holes. You can layout each hole using rope to line the fairways. If you don’t have rope, use whatever you can find in your garage that would work. Remember the ball needs to bounce off the side rail in order to get to the hole. You could finish the night with a rendezvous at the 19th hole–your bedroom. 🙂

It’s true, there are people who think this way and there are those who don’t.

If you’re one who doesn’t think this way, don’t allow yourself to use this as a reason to never try. Instead, search our blog to find an idea that you think would be fun, and then do it. You may surprise yourself and enjoy it. If you don’t, learn from it and try something else.

Marriage is for a lifetime, why not make it the best it can be by actually having fun together? And fun is defined according to your likes and no one else’s. 

Myths in review:

  1. Themed dates at home are hokey.
  2. Themed dates at home are expensive.
  3. Themed dates at home are time-consuming.
  4. Themed dates at home – I’m not creative

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and leave your comment under Week #1. 

GYRO button

Posted in Christian Marriage, Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Fun Dates, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, romantic date nights, Unique Dates | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

4 Myths Of At-Home Themed Date Nights – Part 3

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Debi Walter

SQ1-best-sites-2012-120x240

First of all we want to share that The Romantic Vineyard was voted a Top 12 Marriage Blog for 2012 on a Twitter contest sponsored by Square 1 Ministries. We don’t take such honors lightly, but recognize God is at work using marriage blogs across the world to impact marriages for their growth in godliness for His glory. We are honored to have a small part, and we thank each of you who took the time to vote. Be sure to click the button above to discover the other 11 blogs that are making a difference–one post at a time.

Now for our next myth!

Photo Credit: pinkparis1233

Photo Credit: pinkparis1233

Myth #3 – Themed at-home dates are time consuming.

Yes, they CAN be if you’re doing your own theme. But this is one of the reasons we’re here–to give you the ideas and the links to make great at-home themed dates easy. What I try to do when planning a theme is to choose something that is current and readily available.

For example – you could plan a New Year’s themed date right after the New Year when everything is on sale. It could be a night where all you do is drink your favorite sparkling beverage and make your romantic goals for the year:

  • What places would you like to visit?
  • What restaurants would you like to try?
  • What movies would you like to see?
  • What people would you like to pursue in friendship?

Make a list of all your dreams and when the year is over you can have another date to see what you actually accomplished on the list.

The goal of a themed date isn’t the theme, but to have meaningful and fun time together.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. Check out the many themes we have listed under our Date Night Ideas in the right-sidebar. There are lots to choose from, including our Alphabet Dates where you date your way through the letters of the alphabet. 

What is one of your favorite themed dates since you’ve been married? Was it time-consuming or was it easier than you expected?

Myths in review:

  1. Themed dates at home are hokey.
  2. Themed dates at home are expensive.
  3. Themed dates at home are time-consuming.
  4. Our final post tomorrow.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Fun Dates, Growing Strong Marriages, GYRO Challenge, I.Heart.List, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, romantic date nights | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

4 Myths of At-Home Themed Date Nights – Part 2

Posted on February 19, 2013 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Myth #2 – Themed at-home dates are expensive.

This couldn’t be further from the truth! It’s not necessary to spend a lot of money to pull off a great themed date night. Especially if you plan your date around one of the annual holidays, like St. Patrick’s Day which is coming up next month.

The library is a great resource for travel DVDs and books to give you ideas for your date. Some libraries even offer a home delivery service, so you don’t have to drive there.

The internet is another great resource to come up with ideas by doing a Google search of your theme, which I did to get the St. Patrick’s Day ideas below. It took me 5 minutes.

Below are some ways you can plan an at-home themed date around some not so common holidays on the calendar.

Photo Credit: Flicker

Photo Credit: Flicker

St. Patrick’s Day: Make Irish Stew and Soda Bread for dinner. Or Corned Beef and Cabbage based on what your spouse likes. Serve Guinness, if you like, and play a traditional Irish game like croquet or darts, if you have them. If you don’t have either of these games we’ve found a fun table-top version of croquet you can play using domino tiles or even pocket change as your wickets. You could listen to an Irish comedian share some Irish folklore. “I love it, write it down!” 🙂

The most important aspect of planning a themed date is to taylor-make it for your spouse.

Don’t do what someone else has done if your spouse wouldn’t enjoy it. Do something they will love, no matter how simple it may seem.

Myths in review:

  1. Themed dates at home are hokey.
  2. Themed dates at home are expensive.
  3. Stay-tuned for the next one tomorrow.

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and leave your comment under Week #1. 

GYRO button

Posted in Cheap Dates, Christian Marriage, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Free Dates, Fun Dates, GYRO Challenge, Holidays, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, Unique Dates | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

4 Myths Of At-Home Themed Date Nights – Part 1

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Debi Walter

Hokey Pokey Button

With the GYRO Challenge in full swing, we had an interesting conversation with our grown kids about planning themed date nights at home. Both of our married daughters said their husbands would roll their eyes at the thought of such a date, and even our single daughter joined in the conversation. When we asked them why they felt this way they said this is the way many young people think. In fact, most of their friends would agree with them.

To say this was a surprise to us would be a gross understatement. We have enjoyed themed dates for years. We realize not all dates can be this special, but when they work, the memory made is worth the effort.

So today we’ll begin with the first “Myth of an at-home themed date night.” We hope you’ll stick with us this week and see if you have embraced these myths as truth in your own marriage.

Myth #1 – Themed at-home dates are hokey.

Granted they can be. But if you have done your job and studied your spouse well, you’ll know what theme they would flip over. For example, when Tom planned my “You’ve Got Mail” date night, I couldn’t have been more impressed. He was thoughtful, paid attention to details, and kept the theme going all night long. 🙂

First, think of something your spouse loves–a movie, musical, sporting event or something else.

Second, see if you can’t brainstorm a way to make this into a night they’ll never forget. We’ll talk more about this one tomorrow.

Third, plan the date at a time when you know your spouse won’t be distracted with other demands. This will go a long way in helping them enjoy it completely.

Have you bought into the myth that themed date nights are hokey? Have you ever been the giver or receiver of a themed date? Did it work? Why or why not?

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Taking part in the Challenge? Click on the GYRO Challenge button in the header and leave your comment under Week #1. 

GYRO button

Posted in Christian Marriage, Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Fun Dates, Growing Strong Marriages, GYRO Challenge, Movie Dates, romancing your spouse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

GYRO Week 1 – Game Night

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Debi Walter
Created using Cool Text

Created using Cool Text

Welcome to week one of our Get Your Romance On Challenge. We have several signed up for the entire 14 week date night challenge. However, we invite you to try one or more even if you’re not up to doing all 14. It’s going to be fun. On Monday we’ll open up the comments for those who are participating to share what they did or are planning to do.

Game Night Date:

Choose a game you’ll both enjoy. We have come up with some interesting twists to the classic games of Scrabble and Clue simply click the link for details. If these don’t sound good we’ve provided more ideas below:

  • Poker (or any other card game)
  • Video games, as long as you both enjoy them.
  • Chess or Checkers
  • Hide and Go Seek played indoors. (Fun Hint: leave a trail of your clothes when you want this to be the final round.) 😉
  • Touch Tag – take turns being IT. Make home base your bed.
  • Have a good old fashioned pillow fight.
  • Boxing Match

Plan snacks and drinks to finish off the night. 

Be sure to come back on Monday and share with us what you did. Happy Dating!

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Want to GYRO? Grab the button and join the fun!

GYRO button

Posted in Cheap Dates, Creative Dates, D.R.A.B., Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, Free Dates, Fun Dates, Growing Strong Marriages, GYRO Challenge, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, romantic date nights, Romantic Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Civic Duty or Delight?

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Debi Walter

I have always been fascinated with our judicial system…always wanted to be chosen for jury duty (happened only 2 times in 35 years!)…always wanted to be selected to serve on a case…but not today!

Why?

1. It’s Valentine’s Day
2. My daughter is due in from Atlanta by lunch.
3. My house isn’t ready for a crawling 8 month old.
4. We’re hosting a BD brunch for my mom-in-love on Saturday.

So, I’m thinking today may just be the day I am chosen, but my heart isn’t in it this time. Maybe that’s why they call it duty and not delight!

Glad I brought my kindle. What unexpected thing are you having to do today?

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Posted in Slices | 4 Comments

Happy ValenTom’s Day

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Debi Walter

Lytle kids

You read that right, and no we’re not a day early. Our daughter and three adorable grandchildren are coming for a visit on V-Day, so we’re celebrating “ValenTom’s Day” today…all day.

That’s all we’re saying for now. 🙂

And it’s not too late to join our “Get Your Romance On” Challenge. You can give this very special gift of 14 weekly dates to your spouse on Valentine’s Day. Grab this button and put it on your blog.

GYRO button

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Holidays, Slices, Valentine's Day | Tagged | 2 Comments

Valentine’s Day – Hype or Help?

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Debi Walter
Photo Credit: Shelbystar.com

Photo Credit: Shelbystar.com

I can’t count the number of couples I talk to who choose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day. They say it’s just another day where Hallmark, florists and chocolate companies are trying to get us to give them what’s in our wallets. Such a cynical view, even if it’s true.

So let’s unpack this idea. First we’ll talk about the hype and the excuses people give to NOT celebrate February 14th:

It’s a fact there are companies who hope to increase their profits on those who take part in celebrating Valentine’s Day. They spend lots of money on marketing to convince us of our need to do this. This is the American way, and we can choose to take part or not. 

On the other hand, good relationships don’t need to buy a card to help make their marriage better or stronger. No purchased item can do this, even if the commercials tell you differently.

Valentine’s Day has become commercialized, so has Christmas for that matter, but we don’t throw the holiday away as a result. We choose to celebrate it in the way that is most meaningful to our family. Why not do the same with Valentine’s Day? Having one day to focus on your love, or two if you celebrate your anniversary, isn’t a bad thing. It can be a very good thing–not only for you, but more importantly for those who are close to you watching your marriage.

I remember years ago when I was planning a romantic Valentine dinner for Tom here in our home. Our daughter had a friend over, and she commented how affected she was by seeing the excitement we had over sharing this night together in a romantic way. Had we not taken part she would have still known we loved each other because we’re still together. But how much better it is for her to see us making an effort to enjoy our own Valentine dinner. She may have forgotten that night if we were just home doing what we always do. But because we did something special for the two of us–she’ll most likely remember it and hopefully it will even have an effect on her own marriage.

See, our marriage isn’t just about us. It’s about the example we provide to a watching world of Christ’s love for the church. Now whether of not we celebrate Valentine’s Day has no bearing on how genuine our love is. Please don’t hear me say that! But February 14th is a great opportunity to put the beauty of marriage–your marriage on display to those who are closest to you. And it can be a lot of fun! ❤

Finally, we want to share this year’s Hallmark commercial with you. If you were to ignore the fact that they’re wanting you to buy something, you’ll hear a powerful message about lasting love and commitment through all the seasons of life together. Let’s let the light of our love shine brightly this Valentine’s Day. Even if the only ones who will see it call you, Mommy and Daddy.

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It’s not too late to take part in our Valentine’s Day Challenge.

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Holidays, Parenting, Romance, Romance in Marriage, The Gospel & Marriage, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

I’ve Grown Accustomed

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Tom and Debi

marriageweek

It’s National Marriage Week, and what a great time to talk about the benefits of long-lasting love.

This past week we heard the following song from My Fair Lady, sung by Diana Krall. The title is, I’ve Grown Accustomed To His Face, and celebrates the familiarity that comes between us as the years pass. There are things you love about your spouse. It’s most likely something you were drawn to about them in the first place.

Take a moment to remember what one thing you love most about your spouse…

  • Is it the way they look at you, kiss you, hold your hand or whisper in your ear?
  • Is it the way they treat you in public with honor and respect?
  • Maybe you love how you can depend on them in difficult situations?

Whatever it is you love most about your spouse, listen to the following song thinking about this one thing. Afterwards, take time to express your love to your spouse in a meaningful way. May we never grow accustomed to leaving  unsaid the things which matter most.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Music, Romance in Marriage, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, Thankfulness | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Happy Hour

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Tom and Debi

happy_hour_logo_cropped2We can’t remember the last time we featured our favorite blogs on our normal Happy Hour posts. The reason? We haven’t been able to read other blogs with all the personal things going on in our life. But things are starting to settle, and we hope to get back to sharing with you what God is doing in the marriage blogging world soon.

But we can’t miss the chance to share with you a new blog our daughter started only a week ago.

Screen shot 2013-02-08 at 11.01.48 AM

It’s called Non-GMO Journal, and she’s posting about her 60 day challenge to rid her home of Genetically Modified Organisms found in most of the food we eat. What does this have to do with marriage? Well, if we are what we eat, our marriages are affected largely by what we consume. We know it’s had a huge effect on our daughter and her husband’s life. Why? You’ll have to read her blog to find out.

Below are the links to her journey so far. Be sure to sign-up to receive her new posts via e-mail. We think you’ll see she’s off to a great start in more ways than one. 🙂

The Challenge

Day One

Day Two

Day Three

Day Four

Day Five

Day Six

Posted in Christian Marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Happy Hour

Longest Married Couple In U.S.

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Tom and Debi
Photo Credit: ABC News blog

Photo Credit: ABC News blog

We recently read this article by Lauren Sher from the ABC News blog and thought we had to share it with you for encouragement and to celebrate this dear couple’s commitment to each other and their marriage.

A Connecticut couple who tied the knot over 80 years ago will be named the longest married couple in the U.S.

John and Ann Betar of Fairfield, Conn., said “I do” on Nov. 25, 1932, and have been happily married for 80 years. Together they have five children, 14 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

The couple was selected for the 2013 award by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a Christian marriage enrichment group based in San Bernardino, Calif., that organizes a search each year to promote the virtues of lasting marriages and inspire young couples.

“What an inspiration Mr. and Mrs. Betar are to all of us. They made a commitment to each other 80-plus years ago and they have kept that commitment over these many years. They truly are a sign of hope to us all,” Worldwide Marriage Encounter’s Ron and Judy Pekny said in a statement.

An award ceremony will take place on Saturday at the Fairfield, Conn., home of one of the Betars’ granddaughters, Heather Mitchell.

Before their 80th wedding anniversary in November, John and Ann Betar told ABC News that they considered themselves “blessed.”

“We are very fortunate. It can be repeated and repeated,” Ann, 97, said at the time. “It is unconditional love and understanding. We have had that. We consider it a blessing.”

Though the couple is hesitant to give out marriage advice, their secret to so many happy years together is simple: compromise and don’t hold a grudge.

John, 101, met Ann, now 97, while growing up in the same Syrian community in Bridgeport, Conn. Breaking with tradition, Ann defied her parents when they set up an arranged marriage for her. She ran off to Harrison, N.Y. to elope with John. Now, she says she knows she made the right choice.

The Betars said they delight in the newer generations of their family, and their descendants return the compliment.

“I’m always blown away by their incredible optimism, deep sense of compassion and modesty,” granddaughter Heather Mitchell said before their anniversary. “They are true beacons – inspirational people who emit such joy without even knowing it.”

The Betars were chosen out of hundreds of couples nominated during the project’s submission period, which ran from October of last year to January. There may be other couples who have been married longer in the U.S., but none was formally nominated, according to the group.

 In the years that you’ve been married, how would you answer this question: “What is your secret to a happy marriage?”

Posted in Aging, Celebrations, Growing Strong Marriages, Guest Post, Seasons of Life | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

GYRO Prep – One Week To Go!

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Tom and Debi

And no, this isn’t a recipe for this classic Greek dish. It’s an acronym for our 14-week challenge called, Get Your Romance On. We’ve heard from many who are planning to bless their spouse this Valentine’s Day by giving them the gift that keeps on giving.

If you’re not sure what we’re talking about? Click here to read the post introducing this great gift for your spouse. 

Starting the day after Valentine’s Day, we’ll post the date night idea for your first date. Each Monday following we’ll open our comments for you to share with us what you did. It will be fun to glean ideas from each other, and discover how easy it can be to Get Your Romance On. 🙂

One more favor–

If you’re taking part, please copy the following button and use it with every post you write about the challenge, and link it to the address below the button. This way others who find out about the challenge can follow us and even start the challenge if they like. The more the better!

http://bit.ly/11a9koj

We can’t wait for the challenge to begin! Spread the word by sharing on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Let’s encourage romance in marriage–one date at a time.

How are you planning to bless your spouse this Valentine’s Day?

Posted in Date Night Ideas, Dating Your Spouse, GYRO Challenge, Romance in Marriage, romancing your husband, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, romantic date nights | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments