Mullet Hunting We Will Go

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Tom and Debi


Here’s a fun and FREE date night idea.  We got it on the 114 Date Night Ideas smart phone app.  Some of the ideas they offer are pretty generic, but they allow you to customize the dates for your own liking AND you can add date ideas of your own or ones you discover on our website.  🙂  Another feature we like about the app is you can shake your phone to pick a random date if you want the adventure without the pressure of having to choose.  This is how we determined which date to post about today.  We simply shook our iphone and “Mullet Hunt” came up – Voila!  To have a look, click their icon below:

So here are the details to have your very own Mullet Hunt – we’ve changed the rules a bit to make it more detailed and ioho – more fun.

Go to a hunting or fishing store like Bass Pro Shops and see how many mullet haircuts you can find.  (Not sure what a mullet looks like click here!) To add more challenge to the hunt add extra bonus points for those dressed in camouflage, those wearing hats or any other idea you think would be fun to hunt.

Be sure to bring your camera and see if you can’t catch a mullet in the background of your photo.  If you manage to do this – you receive the coveted ranking of “Sharp Shooter!”  (Yes, the pun WAS intended).  And you have a nice picture to remember your date by.

Some pro shops even offer shooting ranges, so be sure to take your quarters to enjoy some real hunting.  Or if they don’t, they usually have some cool gumball machines.

All in all we think this would be a fun night to spend together.  The best part is you get to take the real catch home with you!  😉

So, do you think this sounds like a fun night out to you?  Can you think of some exciting twists to add to the hunt?  Join the conversation…

Posted in Cheap Dates, Creative Dates, Date Night Ideas, Free Dates, Fun Dates, Rainy Day Dates | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Mullet Hunting We Will Go

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Debi Walter

We hope you were able to spend time with friends and family over the extended Memorial Day weekend.  If you missed yesterday’s post titled, Romantic Deployment, you don’t want to miss it.  It will help keep us all from forgetting how important it is to remember the real reason we have this National Holiday.

A few years ago I started golf lessons so I could learn to play with Tom.  He loves the game, and I wanted to be able to do this from time to time with him.  What I didn’t realize was how much I would enjoy playing with another special man in my life – our son. 🙂  The picture above is from yesterday morning’s round on the links.  We won’t post our score, but we sure had fun!

♥ Fun Dates To Celebrate ♥

June 1

  • National Go Barefoot Day – I thought every day was a perfect day for going barefoot, but then again I’m from Florida!  Why not throw in a foot massage – after all bare feet get tired too!

June 2

  • National Bubba Day – I have no idea what this day means, but if you have a Bubba Gump’s near you, it might be a good night to eat out.
  • National Rocky Road Day – scoop up some of your favorite ice cream and watch your favorite Rocky movie.

June 3

  • National Donut Day – no explanation needed.

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♥ This Week In Orlando ♥

CENTRAL

  • Leu Gardens – Date Night in the Gardens on Friday, June 3rd.  Garden opens at 6p. the movie begins at dusk.  This month’s movie is Inception.  Adults are $7, Garden Members are FREE.

SOUTH

  • Silver Spurs Rodeo will be held Saturday and Sunday, June 4th and 5th.  Cost is $15.  See website for more information.


Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive) | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Romantic Deployment

Posted on May 30, 2011 by Tom and Debi

The title is a bit intriguing, even for a Memorial Day post, but it is purposeful as you’ll see in this unusually long post.  We pray you’ll take the time to read it in its entirety.  Today we want to introduce you to a couple who are dear friends.  We have known them for years – long before deployment was a word, much less a reality in their marriage.

He is actively serving as a U.S. Army Chaplain and recently returned from a seven month deployment in the Middle East.  It was a long time to be apart, but when we asked if they would be willing to share with us how they work at keeping the romance alive during their times apart, we had no idea how richly blessed we would be to hear their story.  We believe you will be as well.

Memorial Day is a time to remember our service men and women who have sacrificed their lives for our freedom.  After reading the following I will no longer think of them individually, but will also remember and pray for the spouse that is waiting for them to come home.  Have a safe and enjoyable day, and may you hug your spouse a little tighter – thanking God for their nearness to you today!

Meet Chuck and Celia Williams. 

“So how do we keep romance alive as a couple, particularly when we are separated by thousands of miles for 6 months, a year, or greater during deployments? As an Army chaplain and his wife we are both called to a life of ministry in the military with all the luggage that goes with servicing our nation during a time at war. We believe in biblical principles as it relates to the roles of the husband and the wife, and we enjoy God’s grace in abundance in this “war” chapter of our adventure together.

“How do we not let the threats to our marriage during a deployment take their toll?  Here are a few thoughts:

“The time to build a romance that will sustain through a deployment starts before a deployment. Celia and I are quite intentional about investing the extra time, quality time that is, to build a marriage of romance. Extra date nights, weekend getaways and even special times of just sitting on the porch together after the house is quiet, where we can focus on each other, affirm our commitments to each other, and be affectionate. Another thing we do together is to build a plan on how we are going to serve one another in our communications and care for each other while apart. Having set times to call each other during the day is important as it nurtures excitement, anticipation and intimacy.

“If you’ve not been romancing each other before the deployment, not only will you have a tougher time keeping the romantic feelings alive during the separation, but you’ve really been missing out on one of the most fun parts of being married now.  Plus, allowing your marriage to slip into a routine and complacency can create a breeding ground for selfish thoughts, a “victim” mentality and possibly lead to improper affections elsewhere.

“There’s a t-shirt we’ve seen here around our community. It reads:

“Now that’s funny, and we are! But we see these deployments as a part of God’s plan for us, filled with purpose, and an opportunity for personal and relational maturity. A great sex life must be founded on intimacy, commitment and affection. So if we can’t have the great sex, we now have a wonderful opportunity to build and reinforce those latter qualities of abiding romance. And communication is the premium that must be invested in to foster them. Regular phone calls, romantic cards sent often and regularly, and occasional gift boxes filled with cheap little toys, candies, toiletries, and baked goods. Daily e-mails are great, but Skype is better!!!!  Skype is an internet connection with face to face communication via your computers. And be creative with the internet by ordering special gifts and flowers. These are the tangible proofs of affection and attention that can be a great, but temporary, substitute for the real thing. It’s a long-distance hug. Believe me, to a soldier in a war zone or a spouse left home, these are of greater worth than gold.

“Another thought about communications when a husband is in a war zone: Your wife desperately needs your communication. She needs to know her husband is safe.  And she needs to hear words of comfort, assurance, and your exhortations for her trust in God.  BE the spiritual leader!! Husbands, likewise, need the kind voice of a loving wife, to know he is missed, to stay involved in the daily living and decision-making.  We keep the romantic feelings alive with concerted words of devotion, compliments, desire and longing. Some of the best times of communications we’ve had in deployments were expressed in groans, sighs and cries rather than mere words.

“This is the number one way you can serve each other in building and sustaining an abiding romance during a deployment, pray together! I don’t mean just pray for one another. I mean to pray with each other, right there on the phone. Celia and I made the commitment that we would never end a phone call without praying together. We’ve kept that commitment and it has proved to be the utmost blessing for our love, even long after her soldier came home!

“But the best way to think about what to do for the romance in your marriage during extended times apart is to remember what our Lord does for us to build our affections for Him this side of Heaven. After all, marriage is to be an exact reflection of our life in Christ!”


NOTE:  Chuck will be leaving on his 3rd deployment in 2012 – this time to Afghanistan for 12 months.  Celia will continue to romance him from a distance, as will he.  Let’s pray for their marriage, as well as all marriages in the military who are separated during this time.  And let’s also pray for God’s strength and sustaining grace as Chuck serves the Lord, our country and his unit (of appx. 450) so faithfully.

Posted in Holidays, Romance in Marriage, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife, Testimonies | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Happy Hour

Posted on May 27, 2011 by Debi Walter

It’s the time of the week when we share with you our Happy Hour – that is those blog posts we think are special.  Enjoy your holiday weekend and don’t forget to say a prayer for those servicemen and women who are giving their lives for our freedom.  See you Tuesday!

Dendrochronology

  • The Missing Test – with Tom traveling more and more these days, I realize how much I appreciate him, and I tell him often.  Malinda offers a great test we should all take!

Solo Femininity

  • End Times Preparation – Although this isn’t a marriage blog, it is an excellent blog for biblical womanhood.  Carolyn McCulley is an author and excellent speaker.  She shares on this post about the controversial “end times” date that just past last weekend.  It might surprise you what she says…

Journey To Surrender

  • Great Minds Don’t Always Think Alike – a new series Scott is starting to discuss what a biblical view of marriage looks like as defined, and how he applies it to his life.  He is welcoming differing views for the discussion.

A Grown Up Marriage

The Generous Husband

  • The Thinker and The Feeler – a great comparison that goes well with the blog post above.  Read it and see which one you are, you might be surprised to read of the benefits of both.
  • Who Goes First? – another great post discussing the topic of maturity in marriage.

The Generous Wife

  • Let Him Vent – sometimes our spouse just needs a listening ear.

Marriage Life

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A Fragrant Aroma – Whoops!

Posted on May 27, 2011 by Debi Walter

Have you ever had one of those moments where you did something stupid and started to tell someone realizing you were only implicating your own stupidity?  Well, this is my moment!  I sat down today (Thursday) to post our Fragrant Aroma post for you and wanted to refer to our Mark Your Calendar post from Monday.  As I pulled up the list of blog posts, this week’s Mark Your Calendar post was still listed as a Draft.

What?  Didn’t I post on Monday?  Apparently N.O.T.  I worked on getting it ready, posted some amazing pictures and then, completely forgot to schedule it to post.  Whoops!

So our Fragrant Aroma post is a whoops – it’s the post you should have read on Monday.  The “fun dates to celebrate” have mostly passed – sorry – but you could always play catch up.

Maybe Memorial Day is about remembering more than those honored men and women who have sacrificed their lives for our freedom – maybe it includes remembering to remember the simple every day kind of things like doing what you promised. <sigh>   Happy Memorial Day!  🙂

Chicago

 Every May for the past several years, Tom and I go to Chicago for the NRA (National Restaurant Show).  Tom goes for business.  I go to support him and to go shopping with some friends we’ve made in the industry.  One thing is for sure – I love Chicago!  I think part of my love for this city is the time of year in which I visit.  If I were to go in the middle of winter, I don’t think I could handle the cold.  If I were to go in the middle of summer, I don’t think I could handle the heat of the city.  But May is….perfect!  Here are a few photos I took while walking The Magnificent Mile, also known as Michigan Avenue.

See what I mean?  These tulips line both sides of the street and down the median.  The city is literally clothed in tulips!  We had a couple of Here’s To Us moments while there – all in all it was a great trip.  Do you have a special town you love to visit together?  It doesn’t have to be far away – it could be a little town down the road.  The point is to find a place and make it yours.  Build memories, have great conversations, and enjoy all it has to offer.  And don’t forget to take pictures!  After all – they say it’s worth a thousand words.  Something my husband is grateful for – look at the thousands of words I spared him by taking these pictures.  😉

♥ Fun Dates To Celebrate ♥

May 24th

  • National Escargot Day – I can honestly say, I will die before I ever eat a snail, but for those of you who go for this kind of thing…have at it!

May 25th

  • National Tap Dance Day – spend the evening watching Shirley Temple or Fred Estaire do what they do best.
  • National Wine Day – stop whining, and enjoy a toast to your marriage!

May 26th

  • National Blueberry Cheesecake Day – buy your favorite plain version and pile it high with fresh blueberries, since they’re in season.

May 27th

  • National Grape Popsicle Day – Have you noticed?  There’s a lot of purple to celebrate this week!  Make this cool treat as a surprise for your sweetie and challenge them to a game of cards.

May 28th

  • National Hamburger Day – cook out by candlelight.  Maybe consider making heart shaped burgers – it’s the thought that counts!
  • International Jazz Day – and don’t forget to turn on your favorite jazz music.

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♥ This Week In Orlando ♥

CENTRAL

Well, we were surprised at how few things were happening this week in O-town.  I guess with Summer knocking on our door, it’s time to head to the beach.  When was the last time just the two of you drove to the beach for a nice long walk?  Maybe this week would be the perfect time to plan such an evening, before the hoards of Summer arrive.

Have a great week!

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive) | 6 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 5

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Tom and Debi

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

What a beautiful picture of the marriage relationship.  But it isn’t without its dangers.  This father knows the temptation lurking on every corner, attempting to lure his son into the path of adultery.  So he paints a clear picture of how beautiful it is to drink water from your own well and not to pour out your fountain in the streets.  He commands his son to be intoxicated always with his wife’s love.

How is this kind of marriage made? 

Every bride and groom who walks the aisle to marital commitment desires a strong marriage.  They desire to please one another, but what happens?  How is one lured to commit adultery when the promise of love and commitment is so attractive, so strong?

It happens one wrong decision at a time.  There is something to consider before the decisions are made which will keep a man or woman from making these sinful choices; it’s found in verse 21.

21 For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders all his paths.

Our vows alone are not enough to keep us faithful to one another.  Our love alone is not enough to keep us faithful.  Faithfulness to our spouse flows from the faithfulness of God.  As we ponder the fact that He is watching us and ponders our paths, a healthy fear of God takes root in our heart.  It is from this branch that faithfulness grows – not love for our spouse solely, but this love joined with love for God.

So do you want to stay faithful in your marriage? 

Then, seek God!  Commit your ways to Him, and He will help when the temptations come – and come they will.  We live in a time where immorality and immodesty are everywhere.  We must depend on God to help us say no to all temptation, which includes adultery.

By God’s grace we have been faithful to each other our entire marriage, but even if we hadn’t been, there would still be hope.  We have seen it demonstrated in the lives of others.  God takes what is broken in our lives and in our marriages and restores them for His glory.  There is no sin with which the grace of God won’t reach as one humbly repents and seeks forgiveness.  Rebuilding the broken road of trust takes time, but it is possible.

Our blog is here to help marriages – all marriages build on the good of their relationship – to be intoxicated with your own love – to be filled with delight by the breasts of your own wife.  It takes commitment to romance, commitment to honesty, commitment to trust, but most importantly it takes our commitment to trust in God!

He is with us in every crucial decision we make – He is always listening to us, but the question is are we always listening to Him?  Let’s open our ears and hearts to what He is saying for us to do today.  And then, let’s commit to do it.  This is the path that God will bless.  And this is the path weaving it’s way all through our Vineyard.

Photo of Piazzo Vineyards, Italy

Posted in Growing Strong Marriages, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Text Bait

Posted on May 25, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: News Anchor Mom

I had an idea of a great surprise.  I’m hesitant to post about it because I really want to do this sometime for Tom.

B.U.T.

I will spill the beans and hope it won’t spoil it for us in the future.

Here’s the plan – right before your spouse is about to head home send them a text message telling them to go somewhere totally unexpected.  You can be in the car to where you’ll see them arrive.  Once they get there, send them another text with a clue they have to collect – like “get a napkin from such and such a restaurant.”  Then, tell them where to go for their next clue.  You can do this several times before having them end up where you want them to be.  It could be at your home, at a hotel, at a restaurant or a park.  It’s totally up to you.  The whole idea is to keep them guessing and following your “Text Bait.”  It’s a fun way to go fishing with you being the “catch” at the end of the day. As an added bonus why not buy a pair of fishnet stockings!  😉

So why not plan a date of “Go Fish?”  You might just realize what a perfect match the two of you make!

Posted in Cheap Dates, Creative Dates, Dating Your Spouse, Fun Dates, Unique Dates | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Game ON!

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: realbeauty.com

Most have heard of the game Twenty Questions.  It’s where one person is thinking of something and it’s the challenge for the other player to figure out what it is by asking no more than twenty “yes or no” questions.  It is a fun game of listening and learning.

We have always been advocates of using questions to discover answers, especially in the marriage relationship.  (Check out our Soil Samples Room for lots of great questions). It’s never good to make assumptions based on what you think.  We must ask good questions and learn from the answers we receive.  And we must be willing to listen patiently.

We are currently reading an excellent book by Paul David Tripp titled, What Did You Expect?  We’re about halfway through, and without regard for sounding like an infomercial, it is a must read for any couple wishing to learn and grow in their marriage relationship!

In the 9th chapter titled, “Stick Out Your Neck,” Paul offers a Trust Questionnaire that is so helpful.  Each question requires thoughtful answers, and many are ones you may not think to ask on your own.

Photo Credit: Virtual Meeting Coach

Trust is the foundation of all good marriages.  Without it a marriage simply cannot be all God desires it to be.  Take some time to read and answer these questions separately, and then, go over your answers together.  You may discover things which up until now were unknown – and all by simply asking 22 questions.  This is no game, but if you make this a priority your marriage will certainly win!

  1. Is there more unity, understanding, and love in your marriage now than there has ever been?
  2. Do you both do what you promise in the time that you have promised?
  3. Are you attentive to what your spouse sees as important?
  4. Do you make excuses for failures to do what you have promised, or are you ready to confess?
  5. Do you listen well to your spouse and act on what you have heard?
  6. Do you follow through with mutually agreed-upon plans?
  7. Do you work together on planning and scheduling priorities, or do you demand that the other do it your way?
  8. Do you share with your spouse your thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams, and concerns, or is it easier for you to be quiet or to share with someone else?
  9. Is there any evidence that you have withdrawn from the other in protective distance?
  10. Would your spouse say that you are good for your word and faithful to your promises?
  11. Do you carry wrongs around with you or do you trust one another to confront and confess?
  12. Do you ever wonder what the other is doing when not with you?
  13. Are you conscious of editing your words and withholding your feelings because you can’t trust your spouse to deal with them properly?
  14. Is your marriage partner the best friend in your life or has your dream of this kind of companionship evaporated?
  15. Is your sexual relationship mutually satisfying, or is it hard for you to give yourself physically to your spouse?
  16. Do you say things to other people about your spouse that you have not communicated to him or her?
  17. Do you look forward to sharing times together, and when you have these times are they peaceful and enjoyable?
  18. Are there problems between you that remain unsolved because you don’t have the bond of trust necessary to work together on a solution?
  19. Are you comfortable with the vulnerability that a good marriage involves?
  20. Do you ever wonder if you made a mistake in marrying the person who is your spouse?
  21. Do you ever fear that you are being manipulated or taken advantage of in any way?
  22. Do you ever wonder if your spouse cares for him/her self more than for you?

If it is difficult for you and your spouse to talk about these kinds of things openly and honestly, you may need help.  This type of communication is the sign of a healthy marriage.  Be humble, and seek the help you need.  If you don’t know who to talk to, we suggest a good friend who has a marriage you admire – or consider making an appointment to speak with your pastor.  But please, make it a priority to get your marriage to a place where you can talk about these things together for the good of your family.

Taking the first step is the hardest.  God will help you with every step you take towards a godly marriage.  We know because we’ve been in this place many times.  We hate to think of where we would be today without good friends and great pastors.

So are you ready to put your game ON? 

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Game ON!

Happy Hour

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Here are our picks of blog posts we think are special.  Enjoy browsing through these over the weekend, and we’ll see you on Monday!

Crosswalk

Marriage Gems

Family Life

  • Is Marriage A “Dying” Institution? – a provoking article on what we’re facing in our culture today.  This motivates us to work even harder on our blog – promoting marriage as God intended.
Dendrochronology

  • Mind Reading – Or Not? – Minde is new to the blogosphere, but not to the marriage world.  She offers some sage advice which you may be surprised to discover how you do this in your own relationship.
Engaged Marriage

The Generous Wife

  • Keep It Simmering – a great reminder that you are your beloved’s and he is yours!
  • Praying Together – most married couples find it difficult to pray together on a regular basis.  Lori provides some helpful tips to change this statistic.
The Generous Husband

  • Be a Man, and Go First – the title says it all.  If you’re reluctant to follow this link, it may be the very thing you need to read.  Go for it…
Marriage Missions International 

  • Tear Down Walls – Steve and Cindy Wright offer biblical wisdom in this post that all marriages need to read and apply.  Are you feeling walls of separation between you and your spouse?  Is communication often difficult or hampered?  Take time to read this post, if you read no others!  It may change your marriage for good!
Marriage Life

  • It’s Moving Day – a great analogy on the importance of working on your marriage.  
Posted in Blog Love, Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Happy Hour | Comments Off on Happy Hour

A Fragrant Aroma

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Debi Walter

Normally our Fragrant Aroma post is about a snapshot of our marriage right now.  But today we will share with you something to watch for NEXT WEEK.

Last summer my sister-in-law, Sherry, sent an e-mail out to the girls in our family asking if we would like to audition for the new game show – Family Feud.  It had a new host, Steve Harvey, and was being taped in our hometown at the Universal Studios, Orlando.  We all said yes!

After filling out the paper work, going to an audition, sending in a demo video and reporting to the studio three separate days – we made it on the show.  That was last September.  We had so much fun, but it was quite nerve racking being taped in front of a live studio audience.  Our other family members (including my husband, daughter and son) were included to cheer us on.  We had such a good time and made quite a memory.  The rest I’m not allowed to tell you – you’ll have to watch it and see for yourself.

Our episode airs Monday either at 7p on our local station:

WFTV/WRDQ Orlando, Daytona, Melbourne

So many have asked us to tell them when it will air that we decided to post it here so those who are interested will know in time.

Note:  We are playing as The Gray Family (my maiden name). The rest of our team is my daughter – Tracy, my niece – Amy, my sister-in-law – Sherry, and my daughter-in-law – Ashley.  Our other daughter, Heather, taped our Family Hometown Moment.

Photo Credit: Family Feud


Posted in A Fragrant Aroma | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 4

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Debi Walter

1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight,

2 for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.

These verses are a call to us to not only hear but be attentive to God’s Word.  He promises to give us insight as we diligently pay attention to what His Word is telling us. This is why we are doing this series on Proverbs.  Our marriages need wisdom to succeed. In a time when over half of all marriages fail, it is obvious something is lacking.  We believe it is wisdom.  And wisdom comes from God.

Photo Credit: Zack Wilson

A “precept” according to Noah Webster is authoritative instruction pertaining to moral conduct, and no where in Scripture is morality more prevalent than the Proverbs. Solomon had great wisdom and he used his wisdom to instruct us  how to live.  First and foremost in our lives is obtaining wisdom.  For one who gains it will walk rightly.

Yet how does wisdom apply to us today?  In our marriage routine, in our social calendar, in our church life?  What difference does wisdom make?  We believe simply asking these questions is a sign of wisdom, for many give no thought at all to applying godly wisdom as to how they live, much less seek it wholeheartedly.

Solomon continues:

20 My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
22 For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.

Since I am staying with my daughter and son-in-law this week, I thought I’d ask Seth his thoughts about this chapter.  These verses above are the one which stood out to him.  He pointed out the best way to be attentive to God’s Word is to memorize it.  How true, but how many of us take the time to purposefully do this?  There is an iphone app available that makes Scripture memorization quite simple.  It’s called Fighter Verses, and it’s only $2.99 – a small price to pay for this tremendous tool.  Listen to John Piper’s take on it:

Fighter Verses on Your iPhone or Android.

If we are serious about pursuing wisdom for our marriages then why not take this challenge to memorize God’s Word together?  It will help keep your foot from slipping and most of all it will keep you on the path of the righteous.

8 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Spiritual Intimacy, Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Blank

Posted on May 18, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: robynivy.com

Blank is what happens in my mind every chance I’ve had to write this post.  I sit at the computer and stare.

I have the privilege of spending a few days in Atlanta with my daughter.  I’m not feeling 100%, so the most activity we’ve had outside was an hour at the park this morning.  With temps in the 50’s and a blustery wind, this was about all I could stand.  We came home and watched Disney movies – first Mulan, then Jungle Book.  And when we weren’t watching them, I was reading Tarzan and Mulan (again) to Norah before she went to bed.

The Disney Princess movies are predictable and relaxing because we know how the story ends.  When Mowgli runs away because he doesn’t want to go to the man village, we know he’ll change his mind once he sees the girl.  But our marriages aren’t always predictable and relaxing.  We don’t know what tomorrow or even today will bring.

For instance, I agreed to babysit tonight so Seth and Tracy could have a much needed date night.  While I was bathing the kiddos, the doorbell rang.  It was Tracy.  She and Seth had purchased a patio set for their back deck and were dropping it off before going to dinner when it happened – a heavy umbrella stand fell sideways on her big toe! In seconds it looked horrible, and I’m sure felt even worse.  They were still able to finish their date together, but it wouldn’t be quite as relaxing as she had anticipated.

Life is full of such interruptions, and often times all we can do is push through it.  I’ve just come out of a very busy and emotional season, and all I can do is continue to do what I know to do.  I don’t know the happy ending or if the ending will go according to my hopes and prayers.  But God knows.  He is leading and guiding us in every mundane moment and every moment of turmoil.  He is good.  When I am tempted to stare blankly at the future it is good to remember God.  The future isn’t blank to Him for He knows the plans He has for each of us, and it brings Him great glory as He watches us live our lives and devote our marriages to Him.

He enjoys the process as much as the ending – shouldn’t we?

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

How’s The Forecast?

Posted on May 17, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: KATC.com

It’s hard to believe we’re in the middle of May.  Hurricane season began on May 1st, and we pray this year will be a slow season with no major storms.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could forecast the number of storms we will face in our marriage this year?

Like a hurricane forming over the open Atlantic it takes many factors for the storm to develop into a perfectly formed hurricane; the water temp, the air pressure, and the steering currents.  All these determine how strong a storm will be, how far it will go and who will be effected.

In our marriages major conflict usually develops over a period of time.  Like a hurricane has names to identify them, so do our conflicts.  As we allow unresolved differences over money, communication or any number of other issues to go on day after day, it is like a storm stewing over the open waters.  Once a strong current of pressure arises all the little differences explode into one major confrontation.  Many times one partner, (it can be the husband or the wife,) doesn’t see it coming.  They are either oblivious to the true nature of the struggle, or they don’t care enough to pay attention.

At any rate a major storm is blowing across the marriage and often it can be harmful to anyone else who happens to be in the path.  Especially if there are children involved.

How can we forecast when a storm is approaching?

1.  Be Humble.  It takes a humble person to willingly admit all is not well in the marriage. Humility paves the way for constructive criticism.  The kind where your spouse shares with you concerns and/or observations and rather than resist, you listen without responding critically.

2.  Be diligent.  Once you’ve had the conversation and the issues are clear, go after the issues in your own heart.  It’s impossible to change your spouse.  The only one you have any power to change is yourself.  And even this is impossible apart from the power of God at work in you.

3.  Pray.  God is at work in our hearts as well as our marriage.  He uses the storms we face to build in us endurance, patience and trust.  As we ask God to help us rather than resist the storm, and do all we can to prepare our hearts for the work needed; God will complete the work He’s begun in us.

We may not be able to prevent the storms from coming, but we are able to see when one is approaching and take the necessary precautions.  When we do – death and destruction aren’t in the wake of the storm, but new life and  growth appear and we have hope.

So how’s the forecast in your marriage?  Are you prepared in case of an emergency?

Posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Difficulty | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Mark Your Calendar

Posted on May 16, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: Nasa

As many of you are reading this post this morning the Space Shuttle Endeavor is taking off – weather permitting.  It is scheduled to be launched at 8:56a.  It’s easy to take for granted the massive amount of technology and experience necessary to accomplish such a mission.  Everyone at NASA works together for one common goal – to get the shuttle safely up and safely down.

How like marriage – it takes both partners working together towards a common goal – the completion of our mission – to love each other “until death do us part.” How is your mission going?  Are you on target or are you stuck in a holding pattern?  Sometimes it takes an expert to help get your marriage ready to launch once again after being grounded for awhile.  Seek help. be humble. After all the most important part of your marriage is to soar, not sit on the launch pad with no hope of taking off.

♥ Fun Dates To Celebrate ♥

May 17th

May 18th

  • International Museum Day – this one could be a great date night – either plan to visit a museum together, or rent A Night At The Museum.  Afterwards you could play “Statue.”  The child’s game where you spin around a freeze like a statue when told.  Maybe you could make up your own rules and try to be still while your spouse does all they can to make you move.  🙂

May 19th

  • National Devil’s Food Cake Day – why not bake one to share with your spouse – they’ll think you’re an angel, that is if they love chocolate.

May 20th

  • Be A Millionaire Day – Several ideas come to mind…play Monopoloy, watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while snacking on 100 Grand chocolate bars, or spend an evening dreaming of how you would use a million dollars.
  • Pick Strawberries Day – plan a date on a local farm picking a quart or two.  Don’t have one near you?  Buy some strawberries.  Feed them to each other or dip them in chocolate or both!  🙂

May 21st

  • National Memo Day – Since memos are little notes to remind you to do things important, have fun posting memos all over your room, your house, the car…wherever your spouse goes…telling them things you want them “to do” with you.  These can be places to go, or make it a little steamier by adding things to do after the kids are in bed and the lights go down low.
  • National Waitresses and Waiters Day – celebrate by going to a local diner for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  Be sure to thank your waiter – that is if the food and service is good.  Or you could play waitress/waiter and serve your spouse something hot.

May 22nd

  • National Buy A Musical Instrument Day – even if you don’t play, it can be fun to go to the local music store to look around.  If you or your spouse does play, many stores will let you try out the new instruments for free.
  • National Vanilla Pudding Day – this creamy dessert has long been an American favorite.  Add some bananas and Nilla wafers for the best Banana pudding to enjoy together.

________________________________________________

♥ This Week In Orlando ♥

CENTRAL

NORTH

EAST

  • Titusville – Launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor on Monday, May 16th at 8:56a.  Living in Orlando, I never tire of seeing these massive rockets soar into space.  Sadly this is the second to the last one I will ever see.

SOUTH

  • Celebration – Savor The Flavors will take place on Saturday, May 21st.  Call any of the Main Street Restaurants for more information and reservations.

WEST

  • Winter Garden – The Garden Theatre presents, The Sound of Music, now through May 29th.  See site for dates, times and pricing.
Posted in Date Night Ideas, Mark Your Calendars (time sensitive), Orlando Date Ideas | Comments Off on Mark Your Calendar

Happy Hour

Posted on May 13, 2011 by Debi Walter

Here are some blog posts featured on some of our favorite marriage blogs that we believe are “special” and worth your time.

Cheers!

Dendrochronology

  • Finding What You Want: It’s A Numbers Game – this is a brand new blog by Malinda Essex, and although this post isn’t primarily about marriage, the point she makes can easily be applied to our pursuit of a better marriage.  Read it and share how you think this applies to your marriage?  Are you willing to go all out and take chances?  (Great post, Mindy!)

A Grown Up Marriage

  • What Do You Really Want – although this post is about a partial review of a book we haven’t read, the take on it here is quite thought-provoking.  Thanks to The Generous Husband for introducing this blog to us!
  • About A Grown Up Marriage – this blog is quite new, only a few months since it began, but here you’ll hear what motivated the start.

The Generous Husband

  • Thank You – Guys, this is a great list of meaningful ways to say this phrase to your wife.  She’ll be sure to thank you for your thank you!

The Generous Wife

Marriage Gems

The Happy Wives Club

  • Grateful – although this post is from the last part of April, I just now had a chance to read it.  And it seemed like a nice balance to The Generous Husband’s similar post for the men.
Posted in Blog Love, Happy Hour | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Happy Hour

Fragrant Aroma – Love Is In The Air

Posted on May 13, 2011 by Debi Walter

Photo Credit: Jullie Brown

Last weekend I had the privilege of being the wedding coordinator for one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding.  It was a wedding like none other I have ever done.  You see Janelle’s idea of a wedding was one involving the whole church – children and all.  And since children LOVE to play she wanted bounce houses and rock climbing walls at her reception.  It was a lot to coordinate, but oh the results!

The wedding was beautiful! 

A garden setting with lots of natural plants and even mulch.  The center aisle was a winding path leading to a working water fountain positioned center stage.  There was worship acknowledging from the start the central place Christ would hold in their relationship.  There were incredible vows written by the Bride and Groom incorporating 1 Corinthians 13 – simply beautiful.  There was the kiss – the first one this Bride and Groom had ever shared.  Yes, they waited to have their first kiss on their wedding day.  It was precious, and everyone sensed God’s blessing to them on this special day.

Nearly 400 people were served a nice dinner and from the caterer’s perspective it was the easiest event he had ever had.  I have coordinated nearly a dozen weddings, but this was by far one of the easiest – although one of the largest.

Why?  I believe God was there helping the day go according to plan.  He was certainly glorified on this day of days.  I was happily exhausted by the end of the evening.

Abbot and Maria

Now this weekend Tom and I are hosting the co-ed Bridal Shower/Open House of another best friend’s son and his fiance’.  It is so much fun to study their likes and hobbies and plan an event that will match their favorites.  I believe they will be blessed and surprised at the detail.  He is a poet and she loves tea.  The theme will be a Poet’s Coffeehouse complete with Greenwich Village style decor.  We will serve their favorite desserts along with hot tea and specialty coffees – something they both love.  It will be an evening to celebrate their love and all that God has done in their hearts the past couple of years.

Weddings are our opportunity to celebrate the union of husband and wife.  It is the closest thing on the earth to mirroring Christ’s relationship with His bride, the Church.  We do well to remember our own wedding day and to recount God’s goodness to us through all the years we’ve been privileged to share life and love together.  I don’t know about you, but I still sit a little closer and hold Tom’s hand a little tighter whenever I am witness to a new love, a new union being formed in the presence of God.  He has been with us for 32 years helping us live out our vows with integrity and faithfulness, and He has been there when we failed the other through sin or neglect.  He is the cornerstone – the sure foundation where lasting love and marriages are built.

When was the last time you witnessed a new marriage being formed?  How about your own wedding day?  Why not spend time reminiscing this weekend about your special day by recalling what you vowed then and how your lives are still living by those two special words which started it all – I Do!

Posted in A Fragrant Aroma, Christian Marriage | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 3

Posted on May 12, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Proverbs 3

All wisdom comes from God.  It is impossible for us to measure the amount of wisdom we have attained.  There is no meter we can hook ourselves up to which indicates the level of wisdom within our own hearts.

Proverbs 3:7 says, “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”  (emphasis ours)

Photo Credit: anton-hammes winery

Imagine walking into a wine cellar full of wine barrels which are transparent.  These are qualities in our lives we can easily evaluate like service to others, patience, kindness, etc. In the back of the cellar you discover another barrel, but this one is different; it is not transparent.  The label on the side says, “Wisdom”.  It’s contents are unseen.

As you look closer you notice a hose coming from this barrel that attaches to another larger vat marked, “the holiness of God.”  This vat is larger than human eyes can see.  It is filled from the river of holiness, which flows freely from the presence of God.

We draw from God’s holiness in our times spent with Him and in His Word.  As we do He miraculously imparts wisdom to our hearts.  It is like turning water into wine.

In this chapter we are told those who have wisdom will have the following:

  • have more than all the riches of the world
  • have pleasant paths
  • have paths of peace
  • are blessed
  • will walk in their way securely
  • will not stumble
  • will not be afraid
  • will have sweet sleep
  • will not be afraid of sudden terror
  • know that the Lord is their confidence
  • will inherit honor

There are many of these qualities we don’t see yet in our lives.  But we want to.  This chapter motivates us to ask and seek for more of this kind of wisdom; a wisdom that isn’t afraid; a wisdom that doesn’t stumble; a wisdom that exhibits peace instead of fear.

Since we can’t see our own wisdom, we must do as Proverbs 3:5 says,

Verse 6 continues: “in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.”

As we acknowledge the larger limitless vat of God’s holiness in our lives and in our marriage we will begin to change.  We will start thinking as one who is wise and not the fool.  May we seek to draw from Him all we need for this hour – this day – this year, and as we do He will continue to fill our barrel of wisdom.  Doing so will allow us to draw from it for our own good as well as for the good of our marriage for His glory.

Posted in Water Into Wine, Weekly Series | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

10 Hindrances To Cultivating A Romantic Vineyard – Complete List + One More

Posted on May 11, 2011 by Tom and Debi

As a help in referencing back to our most recent series – we’ve compiled this post with all the links in one place.  We pray you find it helpful:

Hindrance #1 – Unconfessed Sin

Hindrance #2 – Unrealistic Expectations

Hindrance #3 – Sickness

Hindrance #4 – Financial Pressure

Hindrance #5 – Wrong Motives

Hindrance #6 – The Laziness Beast

Hindrance #7 – Selfishness

Hindrance #8 – Friendships

Hindrance #9 – Busyness

Hindrance #10 – Critical Judgments

After the past couple of weeks, we realize there is one more hindrance worth mentioning:

Hindrance #11 – Life’s Changes

It’s true – think about a time in your own marriage when something drastic occurred changing your “normal.”  It’s in those uncertain moments when you’ve been tossed about on the waves of change, that romance is the last thing on your mind.  You are simply trying to touch bottom before the next wave hits.

This has been our experience of late, and romance has not really been on our “to-do” list.

We can think of other major changes where romance is often set aside:

  • having a baby
  • moving
  • death of a loved one
  • a new job
  • changing churches
  • divorce of close friends

All of these changes are common, and we have personally experienced most of them.  Each one was a growing time in our marriage, but difficult to endure.  Once on the other side our marriage was stronger and romance more enjoyable.  But we had to endure it –

Until.

Until is the word which always follows difficulty.  We wait in the hardship for God to reveal His plan, His purpose.  We wait until we see HIM.  Then the challenge the change brings doesn’t matter like it once did.  We are able to reconnect as husband and wife – the new norm settles into our routine, and it feels familiar.

What changes are you currently experiencing in your marriage?  Have you begun to see God in the midst of the change?  We pray you will.

Posted in Hindrances to Romance | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Feeling Numb?

Posted on May 10, 2011 by Debi Walter

Numbness is a way to protect yourself from feeling pain.  It enables the surgeon to plumb the depths of your body in order to do a deep work for lasting change.

We have been numb.  Numb to the fact that our lives have forever changed.  Yet God has been present reminding us He is in control.  We can trust Him even when we’re tempted to be afraid, to be sad, to be consumed with the result of the changes.

Tonight we had a date night.  The first in a few weeks.  We were able to reconnect asking important, yet simple questions.

How are you doing? 

We sat in the restaurant booth enjoying being together in an uninterrupted setting.  It was good to talk about us.  It was good to be re-envisioned as to why we do what we do.  Tom reminded me of the importance of The Romantic Vineyard.  It is what we believe God has called us to do, whether or not we FEEL inspired.  We want to simply share with you what we sense God is saying to us.

This summer we will both turn a year older.   Where did the years go?  They passed one after another with each one revealing God’s perfect plan for us.  He is doing the same for you.  We encourage you to live this year in light of all the years to come.  Soon, you will find yourself waking up to a life which looks completely different.  Your children, who demand so much of your time now, will be gone – living the life God has called them to.  And if your entire life NOW is devoted primarily to them – you will find yourself lost – looking for meaning.

Our marriages must be primary.  However, they are NOT the main thing. Our relationship with Christ trumps all other priorities.  He is the reason we do what we do.  He is the reason our marriages can survive.  He is the purpose of it all!

So, as we begin anew on The Romantic Vineyard, we want to communicate our commitment to HIM.  He is the reason we have anything to share.  What are you facing today?  Is it hardship and difficulty?  He is with you. He alone can help you know which is the right way for you to go.  How do we know?  Because He has faithfully led us these 32 years.  Life is full of changes, but He never changes.

Rest in this fact – and enjoy today in light of this Truth.

We are back, and we are ready to pour our lives out in praise to HIM – One blog post at a time.

Are you feeling numb, or worse – wishing you were?  Talk to your spouse and to God about it.  He will help you and give you the answers you seek.

Posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Cinco de Mayo Rezar

Posted on May 5, 2011 by Tom and Debi

Photo Credit: fotogail on Flicker

Yes, today is Cinco de Mayo where the Mexican’s celebrate their victory over the French army which took place in 1862.  It also happens to be the National Day of Prayer (Rezar)

Why not combine the two by praying purposefully for your spouse and all they are facing today in their life?  And then make a list of “cinco” things for which you are most thankful to them.  It may be something they’ve heard before or it may be a fresh revelation of gratefulness.  The purpose is to communicate your appreciation to God and to them.  We all need encouragement – let’s make the most of this double holiday as husband and wife!

And then, why not go out for some great Mexican food, or prepare your favorite at home! It is after all, a great day to celebrate!

Ole’

Posted in Celebrations, Christian Marriage, Date Night Ideas, Growing Strong Marriages, Holidays | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Cinco de Mayo Rezar